Here’s how they say to do therapy:
1. Listen attentively and nonjudgmentally
2. Reassure about doubts and misgivings
3. Restructure any associated negative thoughts
4. Help to normalize reactions through acknowledgement and validation
but, imho, there are a few steps missing here, namely the FEELING part. here’s how we “process” our feelings:
1. We make it safe and keep it real. We build a nonjudgmental/trusting environment/space, especially within ourselves. compassion, empathy, and self-love are a wonderful start here.
2. We believe that a power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity. technically, this step is optional, but it is very highly recommended.
3. We get into a state of feeling, drop into our feelings. accept our feelings and our heart. (I’m not sure how to word this)
4. We ask our body what is the biggest feeling. We’ve found that it helps to describe it out-loud, to a trusted friend or group, or on paper/screen.
5. Then we ask our subconscious, “when, in the past, did I feel this way before?”. we’ll likely find events.
6. We let ourselves to ‘go there’. we relive the event, emotionally. We allow the feelings to be released. We say now, even in our minds, what we needed to say back then. We let our bodies feel as intensely as it was felt then.
7. Then, we let it go. This sounds easy but can be most difficult. We are holding on to this feeling/event/problem in our body/life for a reason… if nothing else, as a reminder. Letting go of that protection also means vulnerability and the need to find other ways to bolster/strengthen/remind us about bad stuff that can happen. We express our anger, and our hurt, and our sadness and we take back our power… the power we never had as a child. We can even change the picture and the outcome and the meaning.
8. We fill up with good stuff, something soothing like a simple Color or nice energy… like Love, and peace, and safety, or a simple Color, like a solid dark blue, or a bright, sunshine yellow, whatever we want.
9. We try to stay in a state of feeling, whenever and wherever we can, as THAT, we’ve found, is real life. We love, cry, laugh, often and much.
10. We commit to something bigger than us. We reach out to others, in any/every way we can. We help make the world a better place to live in — why? — ’cause it feels better than anything else on the planet! We’ve found that giving and connecting with others is the only real, lasting satisfaction in life. We all want Love in our lives, and that’s easily created, as long as we are willing to give love, first.
Rock on.
- Matt
