2GetHelp Lives!

We just changed the name of our non-profit to 2GetHelp, Inc.  Our purpose is to show the world the wonder and joy of mental health and emotional intelligence education.

Our IRS application for a 501(c)(3) non-profit status is complete and we hope to have that in place very soon.

I am very excited about moving forward with this project.  I’ll keep you updated on our progress.

Stay tuned…

- Matt

Types of Emotion

• Emotion, without content, or resolution = DRAMA
• Emotion, in order to release, and heal = VENTING
• Emotion, for the purpose of hurting others, getting them to ‘like’ you or for emotional blackmail = MANIPULATION
• Emotion, for the purpose of making things happen and changing the world = PASSION
• Emotion, for the purpose of loving, giving, understanding and healing = COMPASSION
• Emotion, for the purpose of feeling fully and living fully of one’s self = EXPRESSION
• Emotion, for the purpose of changing people, and getting them to do what you want, your way = CONTROL
• Emotion, for the purpose of building boundaries, expressing values, and keeping yourself and family safe = PERSONAL POWER
• Emotion, for the purpose of closeness, openness and intimacy = LOVE

- matt

I Wish You Happiness

My wish for you is that you succeed beyond your wildest imagination.
And that you find love in places that astound you.  
That you have friends who call you "just because." 

I dream that you go barefoot more than you wear shoes.
That you play as hard as you work. 
And that you laugh more than you cry. 

I want you to set the bar high, but not too high.  
To reach for the stars, but with your toes on the ground.
And to never, ever stop dreaming.

But most of all, I wish for your happiness.

Conquering Fear

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.
Live the life you’ve imagined!”

    – Thoreau

“The best way out is always through.”

    – Robert Frost

"Action conquers fear."

    – Peter Nivio Zarlenga

Choosing to Care

We are different because we Choose to Care.

We open our hearts to others… why? because it’s fun, it increases the LOVE in our lives, and because we know that the People in our lives are pretty much THE most important thing to us.

• So we open ourselves to love…
• we open our hearts to care…
• we listen, we share, and we give a damn…
• we are open to new people, new friends, even new family!

yes, sometimes we are disappointed, and sometimes we get hurt.
sometimes we even get yelled at… but that’s Ok… we can handle it.

and it’s worth it.

no doubt.

how open are you to love and intimacy?

Notice What you Feel. Not how, but WHAT, specifically.

Awareness that we Feel

What are you feeling right now?  happy, sad, calm, afraid, angry, worried, depressed?

(stop reading for a sec, close your eyes and feel.  just Notice what your body is feeling right now…. go)

Were you able to notice some things about how you feel? 
Were you able to Identify which your feelings and name them?

We never STOP feeling, ever.  Even while sound asleep, our body constantly feels. However, we are only AWARE of our feelings when we choose to be (notice them), or when they get big and kinda take over the show ("issues").

The problem is that until we are AWARE of them, we can’t really DO anything with them.  We are powerless.  They control us, we don’t control them.

Doc says: 
"We can only make Decisions about that which we are consciously Aware of."

So, as you go thru your day today NOTICE how you feel. 

Don’t stop what you’re doing… just be aware of your pain, or happiness, heaviness, or lightness, laughter, or wanting to cry.

It’s not just how Smart you are, anymore.

“Since Daniel Goleman published his landmark book " IQ for predicting success" Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ" in 1995, the focus in psychology has shifted away from measuring IQ alone to evaluating what is known as Emotional Quotient, or EQ. 

While emotional intelligence cannot be measured as good, bad, right or wrong, experts note that:

EQ may be more important than IQ
in determining success. “

    – from the back cover of Self-Scoring Emotional Intelligence Tests

Powerful vs. Powerless

We are absolutely powerless to change others.

But we are absolutely powerful to change ourselves.

- M.K. Doc Downing, Ph.D, LMFT

Love is a Decision

Yesterday we talked about Love or Fear, Take your Pick.  Well, it turns out that there are whole schools of personal growth who believe that there are ONLY 2 emotions:  Love and Fear.

One of the books that helped change my life was Gerald Jampolsky’s "LOVE IS LETTING GO OF FEAR".  This book described in a simple, 12-step process, how to "Let Go" of both long-term and current Fears, in an effort to expand our ability to Love.  He has some other powerful books, too, so click the link at Amazon and read on…

If Depression is based on Anger, and Anger is based on Fear, that means most negative feelings are Fear-based (except Sadness, which I’m not sure about — ideas?).

So, what if there really were only 2 feelings? 
What if ALL negativism is based on Fear?

Seems to me, we had better get a HANDLE on our Fears, wouldn’t you say??

Love or Fear – take your pick

There are 2 basic ways to live your life…

FEAR-Based:  Afraid of what MIGHT happen, and what other people MIGHT think of you.

- or -

LOVE-Based: Full of life, with people around you, and oodles of love for yourself and others.

You are TOTALLY in control of which way you choose to live.

Are you gonna live your life based on Fear?
or
Are you gonna live your life based on Love?

(the cool part is that you get to decide!)

Where is your Focus?

Here’s a new one…

Guilt is about the Past.
Shame is about the Present.
Fear is about the Future.

* We might feel Guilty about something we DID, or DIDn’t do, in the past.
* We might feel Shame about who we are, in the moment.
* And we experience Fear of things that MIGHT happen, in the future.
interesting, ey? Helps with perspective.

I’ve been present-based (Shameful), while others are more past-based (Guilty) or future-based (Afraid).

I’ve been very present-oriented, so being Shame-based has effected me the most. I’m an Aries and impulsive and into instant gratification, so the fact that I feel a level of Shame every moment of every day (less now) is life-trashing for me. I don’t have tons of Guilt from my past (well, some actually, but the Shame’s much bigger) and I don’t have too many Fears about the future (usually). I’m learning to show up as who I am, everyday, in every way, and trying to feel Proud of myself along the way.

Where is your focus?