Happy Birthday to the Late Great "coach t”

"I decided that my work (as a coach and writer) was something that I wanted to do for the rest of my life. And enjoying my 3 best friends. Having a dog, (currently a Maltese named Fringe). Being a nice person forever, no matter what someone says or does. Constantly experimenting with new ideas and creative mediums. Being nourished by my relationship with God. Waking up each morning with nothing on my to do list. And maintaining healthy reserve levels of time, money, opportunity and support. Adding value to others just for the joy of it. And finally, to always follow my whims, no matter how little sense they make at the time."

    ThomasLeonard.com

Good-bye

Well, here it is, 6 years since the passing of the late, great "coach t"… and I find that I miss him now, as much as ever.

So much of his life has been inspirational to me — teaching, writing, giving freely, creating win-win, believing in the ultimate good in people — it all lives loudly and beautifully inside of me, in coach t’s caring, yet spirited voice.

Thanks again, Thomas, for starting the world on a path to betterment and cooperation.

Self-Acceptance

I must learn to love the fool in me.  The one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes & loses often, lacks self-control, loves & hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises & breaks promises, laughs and cries.  It alone protects me against that utterly self-controlled, masterful tyrant whom I also harbor and who would rob me of human aliveness, humility and dignity but for my fool. 

    – Theodore Rubin, M.D.

Emotional Awareness Gives Us Choices!

We all have had bad stuff happen to us, and events that cause us emotional pain and anger.  HOWEVER, we get to CHOOSE what we DO with our feelings, emotions and belief systems!

We can:

• Generalize
• Victimize
• Blame
• Whine
• be Broken

or, we can:

• Learn
• Grow
• Understand
• Love anyway
• be Wiser!

It’s not about Ignoring our feelings, quite the opposite.  It’s about Deciding how we want to look at the world, consciously, wisely, and intelligently.

It’s Up to You

To the question of your life, you are the only answer.
To the problems of your life, you are the only solution.

Nobody can fix you but you.

Nobody can make you happy but you.

Nobody can even help you but you.

It’s up to you.

What if everything that happened to you, and even everything around you, was there to direct and guide and teach you?  What if you were 100% responsible for how you live your life, from this day forward?  What personal power and control that would bring!

2 Kinds of Guilt: Punishing vs. Productive

Guilt can be Good or Bad.

There are Two (2) Kinds of Guilt:

1. Punishing Guilt — when you're Trashing yourself and beating yourself up for something you did, or didn't do.

2. Productive Guilt – when you are Learning your lesson, taking the consequences of your actions boldly and maturely, and vowing inside yourself to Learn from your experience and become a better man/person because of it.

Knowing the difference between these two has Totally changed my life. Seriously. I was a guilt monger, full of punishing guilt. I've done plenty of stuff wrong, and I bashed myself for years over it all.

This is NO LONGER Acceptable so I had to find a better way.

It's true that some of the stuff I did was not acceptable. ever. ever again. none, zero, nada.  So I figured I'd better Learn my lessons and figure out how to make damned sure that these never happened again.

I had to change my Punishing Guilt: trashing, discouraging, shame-based, lower-my-eyes, slump-my-shoulders, feel bad about myself, and less than, and unworthy kinda feeling

… into …

Productive Guilt.

Ok.  So I screwed up. Now what? feel sorry for myself? feel bad about myself? I don't think so. I've got too much to do, to much accomplish, to share, to feel. I want to Live my life. I don't want be a Potential, or a drag, or an ass to be around. I want to live my life to the FULLest that I can. I will learn from my mistakes. I will become a better person because of them. I will help others do the same with their mistakes.

So I had to Learn. To make my guilt Productive and educational.  Not to feel bad, but to understand, and awaken, and accept.

hey, we've all made mistakes in our past, stuff we're not proud of… I'm not alone here and neither are you… but it's just a matter of what we Do with those mistakes now, emotionally, in the present and future, that counts.  Can you let it go?  Can you be sure you will NEVER do some of the stuff you did, again?  If so, you can LET GO of the Guilt and move on.

It's ok.  You're forgiven.