MattPerelstein
EQ is the Answer!
For kids, teens and adults — in schools, homes and at work — EQ can save our world!
EQ Goes Mainstream in Kung Fu Panda 2!
Good news! We went to see “Kung Fu Panda 2″ at the matinee yesterday and it was FULL of positive EQ messages! Giving, honor, loving, finding “Inner Peace”, working thru childhood belief systems, confidence, teamwork, etc., etc. I love it when EQ goes Mainstream, and our kids get GOOD examples/lessons, for a change!
WE MUST WAKE UP!!
There’s a Sense of Urgency missing from our message! The basis for the problems in our society today is that: We as a People are Emotionally Clueless! We talk about Feelings ’cause it makes us Feel better, but people are DYING, quite literally and figuratively, because they don’t know what we know… EVERY Suicide is [...]
DEPRESSION, Illness or Symptom
Have you ever found yourself “trapped” in a job or school situation where the work really wasn’t that hard, but after two hours at work or school, you felt as if you had put in ten. By the end of the day, it seemed that it was all you could do to make it [...]
ANGER For Better or For Worse
There has been much debate, over the years, about whether anger is good or bad. All sorts of remedies have been offered by those who see anger as destructive. Try counting to ten. Think before you speak. Nice girls don’t get angry; pretty is as pretty does. Stay away from people who make you [...]
Emotional Intelligence Questions (part 2)
Who or what are you Angry at? Who or what Hurt you the most? Who or what are you most Afraid of? What is keeping you from Releasing the pain?
Are you Bored?
Shutting down feelings leads to boredom, irritability, grumpiness and depression. Allowing ourselves to feel leads to passion, excitement, fun and love. Let’s open our hearts to Feel, and Live! “Anyone who is bored with life has probably forgotten his or her dreams.“ – David Schwartz
Take Control of your Life, Emotionally, in 3 Steps
Get a Clue: Open your eyes, to the fact that our Feelings and Emotions VERY MUCH affect our life, and require attention, respect and management. Get a Grip: Learn about yourself, how you operate, how you’re wired, how you function best, how you function worst. Get a Life: Take control of your self, your behaviours, [...]
Who are your Role Models?
Sometimes our light goes out but is blown again into flame by an encounter with another human being. Each of us owes the deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this inner light. – Albert Schweitzer We can find role models anywhere –- friends, family, famous people, infamous people, movies, stories, our imagination – literally, [...]
IQ + EQ = LOL !!
In schools, they teach us the 3 R’s: Reading, wRiting and aRithmetic. But that’s only teach HALF of what we need! Our feelings, heart and soul (EQ) is at least as important as our brains, knowledge and logic (IQ). Everything we do, and everything we are, is based on our Feelings and Emotions. We can’t [...]
Need Something Bigger to Believe In?
Dramatic increase in Americans declaring “No religion” AP HARTFORD, CT – A new report finds that American adults who claim “no religious affiliation” increased from 14 million in 1990 to 34 million in 2008. It says most of the religiously unaffiliated in the U.S. are not atheists, but "embrace philosophical and theological beliefs that reflect [...]
Stop and Smell the Roses
“We’re so engaged in doing things to achieve purposes of outer value that we forget that the inner value, the rapture that is associated with being alive, is what it’s all about.” – Joseph Campbell "Learn to pause… or nothing worthwhile will catch up to you." – Doug King
Attitude is Everything!
“Everything can be taken from a man or a woman but one thing: the last of human freedoms to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” – Viktor Frankl Our attitude is one of those wonderful things in life that we have 100% control over! We can always [...]
Playing the Victim
"People are only a victim the first time. After that they are a volunteer!" – Thomas Leonard (the late, great coach t) Ouch, but true. If we don’t know what’s going on inside of us, and around us, we can end up playing the victim a LOT! — Sign up for Cheryl’s daily Quotes-4-Life series… [...]
EQ Answers
These are some of the situations where EQ can help. Are you feeling the Downs, but not the Ups? Are your feelings kinda Flat or Tamped down? Would you like to experience more Highs in your life? Want to find out how Choose your Feelings better? Do you feel that you are a Victim to [...]
love
what indeed is love? a warm and tender feeling in the pit of your stomach? a feeling of compassion for another? all the above and much much more . from the rays of sunshine on your face to the breaching of a whale and the sound of a baby cooing and laughing . it is [...]
emotional intelligence test
Here’s a quick, 7-question quiz, to determine your basic level of EQ. How well do you deal with your Feelings and Emotions? Rate yourself between 1 and 5 in each of the following seven areas. 1: not at all 3: so-so 5: totally and completely 1. Awareness When your body feels something (fear, anger, sadness, [...]
Great Quotes
“BITTERNESS is like cancer. It eats upon the host. But ANGER is like fire. It burns all clean.” – Maya Angelou “Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we’re here we might as well DANCE!” – Maya Angelou “The honorary duty of a human being is to love.” – [...]
Happiness Quotes
"Don't put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket, keep it in your own." — "Happiness isn't about waiting for the storm to pass… It's about learning how to dance in the rain"
We Are The World
Here’s one of the greatest songs ever recorded! I just found this link on Twitter yesterday, but I’ve now listened to it about 10x, REALLY LOUD… and it still gives me chills (with all those amazing artists, it’s Cyndy Lauper’s climax that always gets me!). I saved it as a Favorite, for an instant pick-me-up [...]
It’s about us!
To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.” – Robert Muller Forgiveness is for US, not so much for the person we’re forgiving! Love is for US, not as much for the person we’re loving! Giving is for US, not as much for the [...]
Feel It to Heal It.
We’ve found ways to safely & profoundly Feel & Release big negative feelings, both past and present, to bring Relief (often permanently). These concepts were first developed by Alfred Adler, Sigmund Freud‘s partner. Adler found babies are born "clean" – happy, powerful, totally in touch with emotions – but pain builds as we grow and [...]
Blogging, the Blog Squad Way
I went to a presentation this morning at the Mendocino Coast Writer’s Conference where Denise Wakeman described how to effectively manage Social Media. “If you can’t be found online, you don’t exist.” Main Points: Make the Blog the main focal point of our “platform”. Use Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn as tools to drive traffic to [...]
How to ‘Process’ out Negative Feelings
Step 1. Awareness Step 2. Acceptance Step 3. Feel and Release Step 4. Refresh and Rejoice! "We gotta Feel it to Heal it!" To ‘really’ get into your Feelings, ask yourself these 3 questions (slowly). 1. Who or what are Hurt you the most? 2. Who or what are you most Afraid of? 3. Who [...]
EQ is the Bomb!!
If we wanna be Happy, we HAVE to get in touch with our feelings and emotions! (no matter how uncomfortable it can be at times.) If we wanna be Successful, we HAVE to get in touch with our feelings and emotions! (or we can’t be Real, even with ourselves.) If we wanna be Powerful, we [...]
Happy Birthday to the Late Great "coach t”
"I decided that my work (as a coach and writer) was something that I wanted to do for the rest of my life. And enjoying my 3 best friends. Having a dog, (currently a Maltese named Fringe). Being a nice person forever, no matter what someone says or does. Constantly experimenting with new ideas and [...]
Self-Acceptance
I must learn to love the fool in me. The one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes & loses often, lacks self-control, loves & hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises & breaks promises, laughs and cries. It alone protects me against that utterly self-controlled, masterful tyrant whom I [...]
Emotional Awareness Gives Us Choices!
"I am not what happened to me. I am what I choose to become." – Carl Jung We all have had bad stuff happen to us, and events that cause us emotional pain and anger. HOWEVER, we get to CHOOSE what we DO with our feelings, emotions and belief systems! We can: Generalize Victimize Blame [...]
It’s Up to You
To the question of your life, you are the only answer. To the problems of your life, you are the only solution. Nobody can fix you but you. Nobody can make you happy but you. Nobody can even help you but you. It’s up to you. What if everything that happened to you, and even [...]
2 Kinds of Guilt: Punishing vs. Productive
Guilt can be Good or Bad. There are Two (2) Kinds of Guilt: 1. Punishing Guilt — when you're Trashing yourself and beating yourself up for something you did, or didn't do. 2. Productive Guilt – when you are Learning your lesson, taking the consequences of your actions boldly and maturely, and vowing inside yourself [...]
Dr. Phil’s Neighborhood
@DrPhil “We live right down the street from MJ’s house. Big crowds very somber. Cops all over. Family must be in such shock and pain.” We owe Dr. Phil as he single-handedly brought therapy and emotional intelligence to the masses!
WHAT ARE YOUR 3 MAIN POINTS?
Last week, I asked our ND grads: “If you had a chance to teach the world only 3 of the most vital concepts about emotional intelligence, the 3 most important things you’ve learned/realized, what would they be?” Valerie 1. "The past is not dead, it's not even the past." – William Faulkner 2. "Your are [...]
Positive Emotions
When Needs and Desires are Fulfilled, One Tends to Feel: from http://SuccessWithDepression.com/positive-emotions/ Absorbed Encouraged Jubilant Adventurous Energetic Longing Affectionate Engrossed Loving Alert Enlivened Mellow Alive Enthusiastic Merry Amazed Exalted Mirthful Amused Excited Moved Animated Exhilarated Open Appreciated Expansive Optimistic Aroused Expectant Overjoyed Astonished Exuberant Overwhelmed Blissful Fascinated Peaceful Buoyant Friendly Proud Breathless Fulfilled Radiant Calm [...]
We Have More Control Than We Think
"Nothing is good or bad but by comparison." – Thomas Fuller We have 100% CONTROL over our Judgments, Attitudes and Belief Systems. Therefore, it is 100% our RESPONSIBILITY to manage these areas of our lives.
Living In “Learning Mode”
The Talmud says that the wisest among people are the ones who learn from all. There are spiritual and emotional lessons to be learned from everything and everybody. An open heart and an open mind can collect great experiences and wonderful knowings.
Lord’s Prayer
Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For [...]
Who Makes You Happy?
Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom. – Marcel Proust
Twitters Away!
Ok, sorry, I haven't been posting because I've been Twitterin' and Tweetin'. It's fun. follow me. #MattPerelstein (wow, that's a cool statement, "follow me", for that means I have somewhere to take you… And that I do… follow me… into the depths inside us. our feelings, our heart, our passions and our soul.)
2GetHelp Lives!
We just changed the name of our non-profit to 2GetHelp, Inc. Our purpose is to show the world the wonder and joy of mental health and emotional intelligence education. Our IRS application for a 501(c)(3) non-profit status is complete and we hope to have that in place very soon. I am very excited about moving [...]
Types of Emotion
Emotion, without content, or resolution = DRAMA Emotion, in order to release, and heal = VENTING Emotion, for the purpose of hurting others, getting them to ‘like’ you or for emotional blackmail = MANIPULATION Emotion, for the purpose of making things happen and changing the world = PASSION Emotion, for the purpose of loving, giving, [...]
I Wish You Happiness
My wish for you is that you succeed beyond your wildest imagination. And that you find love in places that astound you. That you have friends who call you "just because." I dream that you go barefoot more than you wear shoes. That you play as hard as you work. And that you laugh more [...]
Conquering Fear
“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you’ve imagined!” – Thoreau “The best way out is always through.” – Robert Frost "Action conquers fear." – Peter Nivio Zarlenga
Choosing to Care
We are different because we Choose to Care. We open our hearts to others… why? because it’s fun, it increases the LOVE in our lives, and because we know that the People in our lives are pretty much THE most important thing to us. So we open ourselves to love… we open our hearts to [...]
Notice What you Feel. Not how, but WHAT, specifically.
Awareness that we Feel What are you feeling right now? happy, sad, calm, afraid, angry, worried, depressed? (stop reading for a sec, close your eyes and feel. just Notice what your body is feeling right now…. go) Were you able to notice some things about how you feel? Were you able to Identify which your [...]
It’s not just how Smart you are, anymore.
“Since Daniel Goleman published his landmark book " IQ for predicting success" Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ" in 1995, the focus in psychology has shifted away from measuring IQ alone to evaluating what is known as Emotional Quotient, or EQ. While emotional intelligence cannot be measured as good, bad, right or [...]
Powerful vs. Powerless
We are absolutely powerless to change others. But we are absolutely powerful to change ourselves. – M.K. Doc Downing, Ph.D, LMFT
Love is a Decision
Yesterday we talked about Love or Fear, Take your Pick. Well, it turns out that there are whole schools of personal growth who believe that there are ONLY 2 emotions: Love and Fear. One of the books that helped change my life was Gerald Jampolsky’s "LOVE IS LETTING GO OF FEAR". This book described in [...]
Love or Fear – take your pick
There are 2 basic ways to live your life… FEAR-Based: Afraid of what MIGHT happen, and what other people MIGHT think of you. – or – LOVE-Based: Full of life, with people around you, and oodles of love for yourself and others. You are TOTALLY in control of which way you choose to live. Are [...]
Where is your Focus?
Here’s a new one… Guilt is about the Past. Shame is about the Present. Fear is about the Future. * We might feel Guilty about something we DID, or DIDn’t do, in the past. * We might feel Shame about who we are, in the moment. * And we experience Fear of things that MIGHT [...]
I’m not showing off, here
I’ve been out there in the Feeling trenches for over 20 years now — digging through anguish, pain, rage, sorrow, grief, guilt and shame. The good news is that we do it in a way that encourages the positive and manages the negative, where I am doing my part to help people feel better about [...]
when my body needs to scream… I let it.
we have found some amazingly simple, practical, common-sencicle ways of being happy… it’s called Dealing with your Feelings. directly and maturely. that’s it, bottom line. it’s not much more complicated than that. when our body needs to go to the bathroom, we don’t fight it. when our body wants to rest, we let it (well, [...]
Speaking of Maslow…
… and speaking of Maslow, let’s take a look at his: Maslow’s Hierarchy of Human Needs. 1. Food, Water & Air 2. Personal Safety, Shelter & Security 3. Belonging & Emotional Safety 4. Self-Esteem 5. Self-Actualization or per the Learning Fountain… PHYSIOLOGICAL – Basic living needs, such as food, water, oxygen and sex. SAFETY – [...]
Self-Actualization
I believe I have met people who are truly Self-Actualization, in maslow’s context. in fact, i believe i am one. it’s about being as happy as you can possibly be, given your circumstances. it’s about feeling fully expressed and fully present, pretty much all the time. it’s about knowing ourselves, accepting ourselves, and enjoying ourselves, [...]
i love who I am now
i love who I am now (didn’t used to). I love who I have become. no, I’m not perfect, far from it. but even better than perfect, I am Accepting of me. If i do good, i praise me. if i don’t, i reprimand me (but not too harshly). We: there’s [...]
$3.3M Club
I am planning to amass $3.3 Million, and I will not stop until I do. I believe that will be enough money to handle all my family’s needs now and in the future. I will not stop there, but the rest I will give away. I just officially started a $3.3M Club for all of [...]
If you had a non-profit, without budgetary limitations, what would you have it do?
we will be applying for a 501c3 within the next month. help me word it correctly. help me dream it correctly. if YOU had a non-profit, without any budgetary limitations, what would you have it do? I don’t want to focus on just 1 county or city, I want this to be National. All americans [...]
EQ can work at work!
"Now in order that people may be happy in their work, these three things are needed: 1. They must be fit for it. 2. They must not do too much of it. 3. They must have a sense of success in it — not a doubtful sense, such as needs some testimony of others for [...]
Awareness, however, is NOT the last Key to change !!
Ok, now that we know, we have the responsibility to Do. those who know, lead those who do not. those who can, lead. leaders lead and leaders follow other leaders. …and we teach each others to be leaders. that is the point here. it’s all about us, and it’s not, at the same time. we [...]
EQ is the bomb
Emotional intelligence (EQ), can matter as much as IQ in determining a person’s well-being and effectiveness in life. – Dr. Claude Steiner "Emotional Literacy; Intelligence with a Heart" (free online book) I used to say that EQ > IQ, but now I say: IQ + EQ = Happiness and Success in Life. (and it’s not [...]
Anger Management
Managing Anger by Seeing the Unseen Cause by Mike C. Powers http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Managing_Anger_by_Seeing_the_Unseen_Cause.html Read this really good article about what’s “beneath” our anger… what drives it… what underlying intentions we may have that can “fuel” our anger. here’s another on: Managing Anger by Understanding the Different Ways People Express Anger http://www.selfmadeeasy.com/managing_anger.cfm see also: Anger Management Tips [...]
Why bother?
I am writing this because it’s fun for me. I am writing this because it needs to be said. I am writing this because I have a ton of Love inside me, that wants to come out… so it’s spewn everywhere. I am writing this because i care. I am writing this because [...]
I’m an EQ junkie, here’s why…
can we change our IQ? maybe a touch. can we change our physical health? sometimes. can we improve our Emotional health and well-being? Heck Yeah !! can we get better Results, and feel more Successful in life? Yep, whenever we Decide to. can we change our Spiritual awakening? yes. [...]
Giving = Love !!
"It’s not how much we give but how much love we put into giving." – Mother Teresa Yes! The Giving is really for Us, not as much Them. it’s about US enjoying it, letting it fill us up, to Believe, to Care, to open up, to connect. Giving = Love !! and [...]
Using Anger Wisely
i can let some anger in, as long as I manage it. I have to ensure that it doesn’t control my life, and it doesn’t get to take over my life. but there does need to be a sense of it. the knowledge and acceptance of it. and the ability to focus it. [...]
US -– us, Us, US, USA !!
us – closer to an “I”, but with an us-attitude. It’s about knowing ourselves, understanding our strengths and weaknesses, being clear on how and where we fit into the world, and how we can, and do, affect others. Keywords: Consciously Competent. Awake and Aware. Personally Responsible. eyes-wide-open. Team-player. good guy. dude. Us – 2 [...]
Know what I want?
Do you know what I want? I want you to listen to me. I want you to follow my lead. I want you to buy into the concept enough to promote it to others. OUR Feelings ARE THE KEY to intelligent, aware, and moderated behaviours. Those of us who know, become responsible for the rest. [...]
We Continuously Learn, Learn, Learn!
We are constantly in, what we call, “Learning Mode”, where we are open to new ideas, concepts and experiences. “Education is our passport to the future, for tomorrow belongs to the people who prepare for it today." – Malcolm X “Our progress as a nation can be no swifter than our progress in education." [...]
Emotional Intelligence for all!
I just learned that over 80% of all prisoners in CA were once foster kids. 80%, damn !! … and I believe that some 50-70% of all crimes could be considered to be Emotion-based (drugs, violence, theft, etc.). Let’s: Educate prisoners Educate foster kids Educate parents and single moms Educate couples [...]
Love with your whole heart!
It’s better to love and feel ALL the emotions rather than not love for fear of the loss. – NS You can’t really feel the highs, if you can’t or won’t feel the lows. You’re living only half an existence. – Cheryl Montgomery-Nolan Fall seven times; stand up eight. – unknown
Advanced Relationship Training
Ok, so this weekend, we’re teaching the 5th in our year-long, 6-weekend series on Advanced Relationship Trainings (ART class). The subjects are: Leadership (quiz) What Story are you Living? Personal Commitment Among other things, we’ll all be doing a 15-minute presentation, to be encouraged and critiqued by the group. We’re striving to become the most [...]
Happiness is up to Me
Giving is all about me. Loving is all about me. Being nice is all about me. Being a good guy is all about me. it’s all all about me. I do good things, and I’m nice to people, and I give, and I’m trying to change the world – why? – ‘cause it’s fun. and [...]
Happiness is about Deciding
know why people have so much fun when they’re at a party or bar and/or drinkin’? because they decide to. they make a group decision, and personal decisions, to HAVE FUN, so they do. period. yes, the alcohol plays a factor in it, but still, they just Decide to have fun… so [...]
Happiness is about Facing ourselves
"I’ve finally come to understand that whatever happens, all those stumbling blocks, all these problems, have nothing to do with real happiness. Happiness is facing yourself and learning to love what you see, flaws and all. It’s taking enjoyment just from the process of being human." – Kelsey Grammar I keep saying that “it’s [...]
Happiness is about Understanding Fears our own and others, too.
Sometimes, understanding their fears helps me understand and accept their actions, as well as their pain. and Sometimes, understanding their fears helps me to understand, and accept, and conquer, my own.
Emotional Intelligence is only a thought away.
"It takes six seconds to manage anger. It takes six seconds to create compassion. It takes six seconds to change the world." Most of all, we want you to know that emotional intelligence is right there inside you — everyone has it, and everyone can learn to use it more effectively. While we deliver powerful [...]
What are you feeling?
Click the pic above to pick What are you feeling? graphic and make your own banner. … at the largest Emotional Intelligence network on the planet… Josh Freedman’s 6Seconds.org – Matt hint: wanna bump your friends’ heads? instead of greeting people with “Hi, how are you?”, ask “Hi, What are you feeling?”… people often pause, [...]
It really is “All About Me” !!
Our generation has been criticized for having an "All About Me" attitude. Well, I say we’re not Enuf "All About Me". or not in the right ways, at least. All About Me means that I take responsibility for my actions, and my behaviours, and my thots. All About Me shows that someone is home — [...]
I Despise Judgmental People!
It takes no strength to be judgmental. it takes no courage, either.it takes no class. it takes no style.it takes no brains. it takes no muscle. the only positive purpose I can see for Judging, is to educate yourself — to know how you do NOT want to be / do / have. It doesn’t [...]
Our fears are not walls, only warnings!
“Your fears are not walls, but hurdles. Courage is not the absence of fear, but the conquering of it.” – Dan Millman “Many of our fears are tissue-paper-thin, and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them.” – Brendan Francis
Processing Feelings
Here’s how they say to do therapy: 1. Listen attentively and nonjudgmentally2. Reassure about doubts and misgivings3. Restructure any associated negative thoughts4. Help to normalize reactions through acknowledgement and validation but, imho, there are a few steps missing here, namely the FEELING part. here’s how we “process” our feelings: 1. We make it safe and [...]
Asking for Help
Ever have trouble asking others to help you out? “Asking for help doesn’t mean that we are weak or incompetent. It usually indicates an advanced level of honesty and intelligence.” – Anne Wilson Schaef “The healthy, the strong individual, is the one who asks for help when he needs it. Whether he has an [...]
Happy or Rich?
“Would you like to be happy, or rich?” Happiness and monetary wealth seem to be polar opposites to a lot of people, particularly those of fundamentalist religious backgrounds who believe that you “cannot serve God and mammon both” or eastern philosophies that urge “detachment to material things”. I’ve looked at both ideas from inside out [...]
Empty Tanks / Full Tanks
Emotional stuff to get rid of… the tanks we want to be empty: anger resentment protest guilt shame powerlessness Emotional stuff to bring to us (manufacture, create, allow)… the tanks we want to be Full! joy peace security peace love self-esteem cool-nicity … and the best part, is that whether our Tanks are empty or [...]
Emotional Intelligence can be learned!
We have made some real breakthroughs in emotional intelligence training, and have found that this 1 skill, alone, can make a Hugely Profound impact on people’s lives. Using simple, basic techniques we have successfully healed: Depression Out-of-control Anger, Sadness and Victim-nicity Debilitating Fear Life-trashing Guilt and Shame Low, and even self-abusive, Self-esteem Hopelessness, Powerlessness and [...]
So, what are we “selling”?
I'm sorry… I seem to always come across too salesy. like I'm "selling" ND and EQ… I try to tone it down a bit, 'cause I don't like it when others push their product on me. but the truth is that I really am selling… However,I'm not selling me or us 2u… I'm selling You [...]
New Directions Workshop Dates, 2009
ND's Feb. 22 Apr. 24 June 26 Aug. 21 Nov. 6 The most impactful emotional training you can get in just 1 weekend.
Happiness
Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude. – Denis Waitley — Stop living life for what’s around the corner and start enjoying the walk down the street. – Grant L. Miller
Emotional Decision Time
“When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.” – Audre Lorde Which is more important – our Fear or our Results? With emotional intelligence, we get to decide.
Ultimate Selfishness: The art of getting everything you want, and everyone wins!
Ultimate Selfishness (aka U.S. or us — both good concepts, ey?!?) is about how to make YOUR life look, and more importantly FEEL, as Great as you want it to. It's about going inside yourself and finding what's truly Important, and Passionate, and Essential to you, and making that happen. It's about understanding and Accepting [...]
Happy Christmas, Everyone!
Ever wonder how we say Happy Birthday, Happy Halloween, Happy St. Patrick’s Day, Happy Thanksgiving, Happy Valentine’s Day, Happy New Year, but we say “Merry Christmas”? I have, but I have no idea why. Do you? In Europe, they say Happy Christmas, too. Anyway, I like the word Happy, and that’s what I wish for [...]
Why some men are more aggressive than others
Article:Genes plus environment during childhood may help explain bad behavior The study findings imply that even though a child may have a genetically related increased susceptibility for conduct problems, affectionate and loving parents can negate this increased susceptibility, Manuck said. “We can’t change our genes, but perhaps we can change our rearing environment. Full Article: [...]
NEW! Emotional Support Network
Hi. Join us! We just started a new and exciting online Emotional Support Network on ning.com. SueW has already posted hundreds of helpful resources, articles, quotes, etc. all about Emotional Intelligence, and people are gathering to talk, chat and share. Join us! It’s free and easy, and it could become one of the most powerful [...]
Improving Character
In attempts to improve your character, know what is in your power and what is beyond it. – Francis Thompson The greatest of faults, I should say, is to be conscious of none. – Thomas Carlyle “Since God chose you to be the holy people whom He loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, [...]
Thankfullness
A thankful heart is not only the greatest virtue, but the parent of all the other virtues. – Cicero If the only prayer you said in your whole life was “thank you,” that would suffice. – Meister Eckhart When you are grateful, fear disappears and abundance appears. – Anthony Robbins
Intimacy and Communication Skills
The 5 Steps to Intimacy as taught at our ND workshop. Appreciate the Importance of Feelings Know / Identify your Feelings Accept your Feelings Express your Feelings in Positive Ways Help Others with their Feelings – Communication and Intimacy Yes, it’s all about ME, but we can get kinda lonely without a WE.So, WE can [...]
EQ begets Success!
From The Business Case for Emotional Intelligence By: Cary Cherniss http://www.eiconsortium.org/reports/business_case_for_ei.html For 515 senior executives analyzed by the search firm Egon Zehnder International, those managers who were primarily strong in emotional intelligence were more likely to succeed than those who were strongest in either relevant previous experience or IQ. In other words, emotional [...]
It’s in your Feelings!
want enlightenment and self-actualiation? it's in your feelings.want to find the meaning of life? it's in your feelings.want your relationships to work? it's in your feelings.want peace, serenity and joy? it's in your feelings.want success and financial abundance? it's in your feelings.want self-esteem, self-awareness, self-acceptance, and self-mastery? it's in your feelings.want to feel brave, powerful, [...]
Be Honest With Yourself!
"No man, for any considerable period, can wear one face to himself, and another to the multitude, without finally getting bewildered as to which may be true." - Nathaniel Hawthorne "You cannot fake a relationship and feel right with yourself or anyone else. Changing yourself to fit what you think other people want doesn’t work. [...]
Inspired Living
Together, as Americans, let's create the emotional support network to teach the world that EQ > IQ. Will you help? When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all your thoughts break their bonds; your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction, and you find yourself in a new, great and wonderful [...]
EQ > IQ !!
that's it!that's what I want to say to the world… EQ > IQ !! High IQ is cool.High EQ is better. Feelings are more important than thoughts.Feelings are us.Feelings can and will have more effect on our life.We are our Feelings. And we can actually Make ourselves Smarter about our feelings…… that will effect us [...]
Propaganda
T-shirts for us, not them. I'd like to make "stuff" – T-shirts, cups, pens, etc – with some cool sayings we have. EQ > IQ Feelings are Good! Guilt is Optional. Anger is second. What do you really feel? Don't Eat That, find something better. It's OK to have Boundaries. I am not a Control Freak. [...]
The terrorists are winning…
Our country is a mess. People feel alone. People feel afraid. People feel powerless. Suicide rates are up. The economy is bad, and getting worse. People are really hurting. But, I believe we can do something about it. In general, we Americans are fairly clueless about how to handle, and manage, our Feelings & Emotions, [...]
Let’s build the safest, most effective Emotional Support Network ever created!
10 Premises to Changing the World 1. Emotional Intelligence is the key to happiness, sanity and success in life. (EQ > IQ) 2. We all have 100% control over our choices in what we feel, and how we view the world. 3. It’s more fun if we do this life thing Together. 4. True emotional [...]
Feelings are a Good Thing!
“Character isn’t inherited. One builds it daily by the way one thinks and acts, thought by thought, action by action. If one lets fear or hate or anger take possession of the mind, they become self-forged chains.” – Helen Douglas “Too often we underestimate how quickly our feelings are going to change because we underestimate [...]
Giving is the key!
Aspire to inspire before you expire.
Believe in Yourself
“We cannot rise higher than our thought of ourselves.” – Orison Swett Marden “We do not believe in ourselves until someone reveals that deep inside us something is valuable, worth listening to, worthy of our trust, sacred to our touch. Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight or any experience [...]
Feelings are the Key!
Helping you understand how emotions have a direct and profound effect on how well you perform on the job and in life, this book presents great techniques to advance emotional self-awareness and tips on building self-esteem and confidence. – By Jeff Feldman and Karl Mulle (Books24x7) Put Emotional Intelligence to Work: Equip Yourself for Success
Waving Wednesday
The #1 easiest way to bring a smile to someone’s face, with the least effort from you, is to WAVE to them. Yes, just smile a bit and move your hand back and forth, and PRESTO! you could make someone’s day. So, it’s Waving Wednesday. Wave to someone you don’t know. Everyone wins.
Caring for Ourselves, first
When we truly care for ourselves, it becomes possible to care far more profoundly about other people. The more alert and sensitive we are to our own needs, the more loving and generous we can be towards others. – Eda LeShan Anything good for you brings out the best in you and does not force [...]
Anger Management Skills That Work
Anger issues affect individuals from childhood to adulthood, and it is necessary to teach anger management skills that work for every age group. One skill that tends to help people deal with negative emotions is acupressure…. Adopting positive anger management skills might involve keeping a journal…. Removing yourself from a threatening situation might eliminate the [...]
Get High on Happiness
‘Knowing Thyself’ Can Lead to Happiness Powerful tools to a joyous life are being in touch with your inner self, God, and spirituality. Imagine you bought a new car and after six months it starts to get very sluggish. You take it to the mechanic and he recommends a good wash and wax. “What? Are [...]
Understanding Emotions Improves Our Food Choices
Pictures Of Hot Fudge Sundaes Arouse Emotions! Authors Blair Kidwell, David M. Hardesty, and Terry L. Childers (all University of Kentucky) examined the “emotional intelligence” of consumers, including obese people. They found that people who made the healthiest choices had high correlations between their emotional intelligence and confidence in their emotional intelligence—what the authors call [...]
Who uses Emotional Intelligence in Business?
The answer … we all do! Our emotions help us to adapt and make sense of situations. The evidence that an individual’s feelings affects others and that these feelings in turn affect performance highlights the importance of being aware of and managing our emotions. Leaders, salespeople, parents – anyone concerned with their influence on others. [...]
CEOs Value EQ over IQ
“How bosses train to be the best” Generally, CEOs assume there is a certain base level of IQ among all corporate leaders. Most therefore value emotional intelligence (EQ) over IQ as a way of discriminating between great leaders. However, with a few notable exceptions, CEOs do not have a deep understanding of emotional intelligence and [...]
To love and Be loved
There is only one happiness in life: to love and be loved. – George Sand
Emotions
“No other personal characteristic of the Self has such a clear line of connection to the Soul than emotions.” “Anger is a legitimate feeling and emotional expression. We can use anger to help and heal or we can use anger to manipulate and destroy. Anger can distance us from others. Anger can connect us to [...]
Choices
Our lives are a sum total of the choices we have made. – Wayne Dyer This may be new information for some folks! But it’s true that we are where we are, and who we are, due to the choices we have made in the past. We may be pleased with some of them, and [...]
Learn to be Aware
“You can live a lifetime and, at the end of it, know more about other people than you know about yourself.” – Beryl Markham Who am I? What’s important to me? What do I feel strongest about? To answer this, we must first learn to become more aware of ourselves and our feelings. To be [...]
Spam Posts
I’m sorry, but my account it getting spammed, daily. I’m in contact with TypePad tech support, and we’re taking every step to try to stop it, but have been unsuccessful so far. If you’re a Feedblitz subscriber who gets an email of each past, please bear with us as we get this security breach plugged [...]
Be Kind to Yourself
Perfectionism is self-abuse of the highest order. Ann Wilson Schaef
2Get, Give!
2GiveHelp.com (proposed) 2Give, without Sacrifice 2Give, without Guilt 2Give, without Burden you wanna REALLY enjoy your life… Give. you wanna feel REALLY loved, and appreciated… Give. you want to have TONS of friends, and people who know you and Like you… Give. We can show you how…
Feelings are the Bomb!
I’m gonna make a Bold statement here… are you ready… Our Feelings & Emotions are THE most important thing in our Entire Lives! “Feelings provide us with vital and potentially profitable information every minute of the day. This feedback from the heart, and not the head, is what ignites creative genius, keeps you honest with [...]
The 7 Steps to Healing our Feelings
How to Take Control of your Feelings and Emotions, One Step at a time. By Matt Perelstein July, 2008 Follow these 7 Simple (tho’ not Easy) steps to learn to “Deal with” your feelings & emotions, completely, effectively, and beautifully – 1 Awareness that we do Feel, a Lot: Get a Clue about the importance/depth [...]
Do yourself a Favor!
“You cannot create experience. You must undergo it. “ – Albert Camus, 1913-1960, French Author and Philosopher Wanna do yourself the biggest favor? Want to give yourself the very best possible gift you can? Get yourself to the New Directions workshop this weekend in Fresno, CA. “Ordinarily, everything we do is in our self-interest. Everything.” [...]
Emotional Intelligence is the key!
Less Crazy, More Sane. Less Different, More Same. More Power. Less Blame. More Joy, Less Pain. – mcp
Emotional Intelligence can Help!
“We’re learning that emotional intelligence is an important ingredient in helping professional athletes live healthy and successful lives.” “There is a massive correlation between high EQ skills and life success.” – Gene Upshaw, Executive Director, National Football League NFL Players Association, Emotional Intelligence Helps NFL Players “Win at Life” Improved EQ can help in sports, [...]
Know Thyself
The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change. – Carl Rogers The greatest happiness is to know the source of our unhappiness. – Dostoyevsky
You can heal your life
Awareness is the first step in healing or change. – Louise Hay What we think, and what we believe, is what will come true for us. Our thoughts create our lives. It’s that simple. And when we get that, we can make enormous changes. – Louise Hay “You can heal your life” DVD
Life Rules
Life only has 3 rules Paradox Life is a mystery, don’t waste time trying to figure it out Humor It is a strength beyond all measure. Change Know that nothing stays the same. – Dan Millman, “Way of the Peaceful Warrior”
Extreme Emotional Makeover – Summer Intensive
Announcement: We are sponsoring a powerful program this summer, to show the world how much learning and growth can happen in very short period of time! If you are chosen, you will be given intensive therapy, life coaching, reading materials, 2 weekend workshops, emotional support, and more, to help you BLAST thru your emotional issues [...]
Happiness — it’s up to you!
“If you expect the best, you will be the best. Learn to use one of the most powerful laws in this world; change your mental habits to belief instead of disbelief. Learn to expect, not to doubt. In so doing, you bring everything into the realm of possibility.” – Dr. Norman Vincent Peale “No pessimist [...]
Emotional Choices
Most of us have more choices, emotionally, than we ever thought possible! “When we know that the cause of something is in ourselves, and that we (ourselves) are one of the few things in the universe that we have the right and ability to change, we begin to get a sense of the choices we [...]
Confrontation: Everyone Hates it!
Want to get over your fear of confrontation? Learn how at Emotional Intelligence – Confronting What’s True See also the Blog link on EQ At Work for lots of cool tools and articles re: EQ. … and remember, and Dr. Phil says, “Attitude is Everything!”: Victor Frankel, who faced death daily in a Nazi concentration [...]
Laughter is good for your body!
No Joke: This Is Exercise Laugh away ticker trouble. from here. University of Maryland Medical Center researchers showed 20 healthy adults two movie scenes–one from the comedy Kingpin, the other a battle scene from Saving Private Ryan–while monitoring artery function. After viewing the funny clip, the volunteers’ blood vessels dilated by 22%; they constricted by [...]
PTSD: Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
extremely common in soldiers returning from war… from http://www.thesoldiersproject.org Signs of possible trouble (Service Member) Irritability, jumpiness Anger easily and “blow up” at loved ones or friends Feeling hyper-alert, needing to be careful, on the watch for danger Feeling emotionally flat, uninvolved with people, distant Feeling you can’t relate to life around you or to [...]
Laughter Heals!
Your Brain on Laughter How clowning around improves memory, mood, and motivation By Thomas Crook, PhD, Prevention “A good knee-slapper produces a chemical reaction that instantly elevates your mood, reduces pain and stress, and boosts immunity (suppressed by both stress and pain). A recent fMRI study by Allan L. Reiss, MD, and colleagues at Stanford [...]
Change Your Belief System
"All personal breakthroughs begin with a change in beliefs. So how do we change? The most effective way is to get your brain to associate massive pain to the old belief. You must feel deep in your gut that not only has this belief cost you pain in the past, but it’s costing you in [...]
Love is the Answer
“Remember, in our innermost being, we are all completely lovable because spirit is love. Beyond what anyone can make you think or feel about yourself, your unconditioned spirit stands, shining with a love nothing can tarnish.” – Deepak Chopra ————————————————————- “When mystics use the word love, they use it very carefully — in the deeply [...]
Attraction
“The secret of attraction is to love yourself. Attractive people judge neither themselves nor others. They are open to gestures of love. They think about love, and express their love in every action. They know that love is not a mere sentiment, but the ultimate truth at the heart of the universe.” – Deepak Chopra
Fear: How to Manage it!
When fears arise, use this quick acceptance process: 1. Acknowledge and really feel your fear without judging and criticizing yourself. 2. Ask what it’s there to tell you. Be alert for inner messages that will bring you greater understanding of the situation. 3. Be fully present. Are you okay in this moment? Relax into your [...]
Find Something Positive!
“Make a game of finding something positive in every situation. Ninety-five percent of your emotions are determined by how you interpret events to yourself.” – Brian Tracy
We’re doing it!
New office opens Thursday, May 1, as the 2GetHelp Wellness Center — Yeehaa! MEW Foundation, Inc’s was officially declared as a Corporation by the state of California Secretary of State, and we have a federal tax ID number. Doc Downing, PhD, LMFT, will be our first (and grandest) therapist! We’re officially advertising for additional therapist(s) [...]
Emotional Specialties
2GetHelp Wellness Center Our new center will hereby specialize in the following: – Depression: We have helped so many understand, fight, and win, against their depression, – going from hospital to happy – in only a year or two. This is for the girls, wives and moms of the world. – Anger: Anger has a [...]
OMG!
Nearly 1 in 5 troops has mental problems after war service – Yahoo! News http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080418/ap_on_go_ca_st_pe/troops_mental_health WASHINGTON – Roughly one in every five U.S. troops who have survived the bombs and other dangers of Iraq and Afghanistan now suffers from major depression or post-traumatic stress, an independent study said Thursday. It estimated the toll at 300,000 [...]
A new Company is Born!
As of yesterday, our new company is here to help show and tell the world about the wonders and joys of Emotional Intelligence!! MEW Foundation, Inc.’s 2GetHelp Wellness Center 2560 West Shaw Lane, Suite 105 Fresno, CA 93711-2777 (559) 431-9995 / (559) 431-9996 (fax) We already have a therapist on staff in the office and [...]
< Matt's Stuff
Choose a feeling. It returns a face and name. Just takes a sec. http://www.6seconds.org/feel/ – Matt
You Gotta Feel It, to Heal It(2)!
“Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts.” – Albert Einstein
The Meaning of Life
Wanna find the Meaning to life? Wanna know the Reason we are here? Wanna find the Answers to life’s great questions? Look inside your heart! When we are totally in-touch with our inner-most feelings, when we truly get to Know ourselves to the deepest depths of our soul, when we find the still and the [...]
Emotional Awareness
“Mindfulness means moment-to-moment, non-judgmental awareness. It is cultivated by refining our capacity to pay attention, intentionally, in the present moment, and then sustaining that attention over time as best we can. In the process, we become more in touch with our life as it is unfolding.” – Myla & Jon Kabat-Zinn a.k.a. Emotional Awareness
Self-Processing
I’m coining a new term, “Self-Processing: The art and skill of Processing yourself and “resolving” your negative feelings. Feeling Resolution is a process. a known, understood, step-by-step process that can be replicated, and measured (well, kinda). Issues = Unresolved feelings and emotions. – Resolving your own personal “life issues”, – Cleaning out your emotional “system” [...]
I don’t sing because I’m happy; I’M HAPPY because I sing.
“I don’t sing because I’m happy; I’m happy because I sing.” – William James, 1842-1910, American Philosopher and Psychologist — “Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair.” – Kahlil Gibran, 1883-1931, Lebanese Poet and Novelist
Feeling-based Medications
Top 20 Psychiatric Prescriptions for 2005 These are the top 20 psychiatric medications by number of U.S. prescriptions dispensed in 2005. Medication Used for… U.S. Prescriptions 1. Xanax Anxiety 34,230,000 2. Zoloft Depression, anxiety 26,976,000 3. Lexapro Depression, anxiety 24,788,000 4. Prozac Depression, anxiety 21,403,000 5. Ativan Anxiety, panic disorder 19,002,000 6. Effexor XR Depression, [...]
Let go of past pains!
“Even though you may want to move forward in your life, you may have one foot on the brakes. In order to be free, we must learn how to let go. Release the hurt. Release the fear. Refuse to entertain your old pain. The energy it takes to hang onto the past is holding you [...]
Emotional Growth
instead of Personal Growth, what if we call it Emotional Growth? it’s more descriptive and ties back in to our area of focus. We’re all about Feelings and Emotions. If you don’t like yours, if you think that Feelings are a bad thing… if you’re in denial about what’s happening inside you… you may want [...]
About Emotional Intelligence
Various definitions: “Emotional intelligence is the ability: to perceive emotions; to access and generate emotions so as to assist thought; to understand emotions and emotional knowledge; and to reflectively regulate emotions so as to promote emotional and intellectual growth.” Another says there are four parts: 1. Perceive or sense emotions, 2. Use emotions to assist [...]
Have a Child’s heart, and an Adult’s mind
“What a distressing contrast there is between the radiant intelligence of the child and the feeble mentality of the average adult.” – Sigmund Freud ouch… and oh sooo true! that’s why I like to hang around kids better!
I have a gripe… about Happiness.
I read a quote this morning… “Happiness comes only when we push our brains and hearts to the farthest reaches of which we are capable.” – Leo C. Rosten sounds good, right? well, I say, “BULL“. I don’t buy that. I can choose to do nothing whatsoever, and still be totally Happy and at peace. [...]
It’s up to us, baby!
As your eyes open, you’ll see that your state of health, happiness, and every circumstance of your life has been, in large part, arranged by you — consciously or unconsciously.” – Dan Millman — “To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation [...]
The Ultimate Freedom!
“Our ultimate freedom is the right and power to decide how anybody or anything outside ourselves will affect us.” – Stephen Covey ————————————————————- “Freedom is what you do with what’s been done to you.” – Jean-Paul Sartre ————————————————————- “One cannot make a slave of a free person, for a free person is free even in [...]
Attitude is Everything!
“Happiness is an attitude of mind, born of the simple determination to be happy under all outward circumstances.” – J. Donald Walters — The last of the human freedoms is to choose one’s attitudes. – Victor Frankl — Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character. – Albert Einstein — “If a person gets his attitude [...]
Love is about being open!
Love is about open arms. If you close your arms about love, you will find that you are left holding only yourself. – Leo Buscaglia Being wide open, at all times, ain’t easy, and frankly it ain’t all that smart, either. Learn how to be open, when the time is right, or even by default, [...]
I am happy.
I have a life. I make a life. every day. I have a great job, the best I’ve ever had. I work part-time, telecommuting from home, it pays well, is challenging, important and resume-enhancing. I run 4 businesses: EucProducts ND – my fave! Computer Consulting building 2GH I have a 700+ post blog, and building [...]
What is Happiness?
Happiness is an Attitude Happiness is a Lifestyle Choice. Happiness is a Way of Being. Happiness is a Skill. Happiness is an Art. Happiness is Classy. Happiness has Style, and Grace, and Beauty. Happiness is Fun, and Silly, and Skippy, and having a Blast, pretty often. Happiness is about Allowing and Releasing Negative Feelings, to [...]
We Must Teach People How to Be with Us
Maxim for life: You get treated in life the way you teach people to treat you. – Wayne Dyer, American Psychotherapist/Author/Lecturer If you think badly of yourself, others will instinctively treat you badly, too. But, if you value yourself, your opinions, your heart and your mind, others will USUALLY treat you the same way.
Emotions are the next frontier!
“By starving emotions we become humorless, rigid and stereotyped; by repressing them we become literal, reformatory and holier-than-thou; encouraged, they perfume life; discouraged, they poison it.” – Joseph Collins ————————————————————- “Emotions are the next frontier to be understood and conquered. To manage our emotions is not to drug them or suppress them, but to understand [...]
Emotional Intelligence = Taking Control of your Life!
The difference between great people and everyone else is that great people create their lives actively, while everyone else is created by their lives, passively waiting to see where life takes them next. The difference between the two is the difference between living fully and just existing. – Michael E. Gerber The key is a [...]
Get out of your own muck and help someone else!
“An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity.” – Martin Luther King, Jr. Tired of your own pain and issues? Try reaching out to help someone else! No matter how bad it is for you, there are always [...]
Create Your World
True brilliance, Matt, is not a function of understanding one’s view of the world and finding order, logic, and spirituality in it. True brilliance is understanding that your view of order, logic, and spirituality is what created your world. And therefore you are forever capable of changing everything. The Universe
The Bucket List
The Bucket List, starring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman. It is bittersweet because these guys are dying of cancer, but it is also comical as they go about fulfilling the items on their list of what they want to accomplish before they “kick the bucket.” The biggest takeaway: Don’t wait, or waste, another minute! Make [...]
Love is a friendship caught on fire
“Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable.” – Bruce Lee ! Love really is the answer. Whatever the question, Love should [...]
DECIDE to be Happy!
“Most people are about as happy as they make up their mind to be.” – Abraham Lincoln Decide, now, that you will do whatever it takes, change whatever you need to, face whatever you need to, to be Happy, finally, in this lifetime. Emotional Intelligence is the key to happiness.
You Gotta Feel It, to Heal It!
“The key is to not resist or rebel against emotions or to try to get around them by devising all sorts of tricks; but to accept them directly, as they are.” – Takahisa Kora “Instead of resisting any emotion, the best way to dispel it is to enter it fully, embrace it and see through [...]
People are our Mirror
“The people we are in relationship with are always a mirror, reflecting our own beliefs, and simultaneously we are mirrors reflecting their beliefs. So relationship is one of the most powerful tools for growth… if we look honestly at our relationships we can see so much about how we have created them.” – Shakti Gawain
2008 Priorities
“Getting in touch with our true selves must be our first priority!” – Tom Hopkins — We know nothing until we know all the ways that we’re not who we should be. Only then do we have a chance at becoming the people we’ve wanted to be, and God intended us to be, from the [...]
Emotional Criticism
“Never react emotionally to criticism. Analyze yourself to determine whether it is justified. If it is, correct yourself. Otherwise, go on about your business.” – Norman Vincent Peale
Wanna be Heard?
Nobody cares how much you know, until they know how much you care. – Theodore Roosevelt, 1858-1919, 26th President of the United States
It’s not the Content, it’s the Delivery!
My wife and I have an ongoing struggle about this… You see, I get my feelings hurt, pretty easily. Because I “hear” the different inflexions in voice, energy and body language, because I believe I the “see” the rest of what is being said, I often get my feelings hurt, or get angry, at her [...]
Quotes from Famous People
“Truth is like the sun. You can shut it out for a time, but it ain’t goin’ away.” – Elvis Presley “I do not seek. I find.” – Pablo Picasso Wisdom is the supreme part of happiness. – Sophocles “The man who has no imagination has no wings.” – Muhammad Ali
The ABC’s of Healthy Attitudes
void negative sources, people, places, things and habits. Believe in yourself. Consider things from every angle. Don’t give up and don’t give in. Enjoy life to the fullest! Family and friends are hidden treasures; enjoy their company. Give more than you are expected to. Hang on to your dreams. Ignore those who try to discourage [...]
Ten Ways To Do What You Love
1. Do what you love. 2. Provide a service to others who do what you love. 3. Teach others to do what you love. 4. Write about what you love. 5. Speak about what you love. 6. Create a product related to what you love. 7. Sell or broker what you love. 8. Promote what [...]
Give yourself a Break!
“We have the need to be accepted and to be loved by others, but we cannot accept and love ourselves. The more self-love we have, the less we will experience self-abuse. Self-abuse comes from self-rejection, and self-rejection comes from having an image of what it means to be perfect and never measuring up to that [...]
I Like My Job
George Carlin sayz, “My job is to think up goofy shit, come back here, and report it to you!” I say, “My job is feel emotional shit, and come back here, and report it to you!”
Awareness is the First Key to Change
“Insight occurs when, and to the degree that, one knows oneself.” – Andrew Schneider ————————————————————- “We are not what we know. We are what we are willing to learn.” – Council on Ideas ————————————————————- “The ultimate value of life depends upon awareness and the power of contemplation rather than upon mere survival.” – Aristotle
Failure to Launch
Failure = inability to manage and control your own self, your own body, your own feelings Failure = losing the battle with your inner demons Failure = letting your fears and your stress take over your life and beat you down Failure = allowing the unresolved feelings from your past to ruin your present, and [...]
The Last Great Adventure on Earth – the Journey Inside Ourselves!
Of course, anger can always be justified. But then, so can forgiveness. Just depends on how much more you want from the adventure.
How Judging Yourself and Others Can Ruin Your Live
How Judging Yourself and Others Can Ruin Your Live By Bernadine Glori Celis I made a big revelation this week. I became aware of how much my judgments were affecting the way I felt about others and myself. I have been in counseling and support groups for many years of my life. I am now [...]
Turn Barriers Into Bridges
Only the person who never gives up in life, who persists with his wish to find and fulfill the promise of himself, makes this truly self-liberating discovery: those places that he once mistook as being impassible barriers to his happiness become as bridges to the same, but only if he learns to welcome them as [...]
Know Yourself!
“Knowing others is wisdom; knowing the self is enlightenment.” – Tao Te Ching “What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself” – Abraham H. Maslow
Know God
The idea of God is different in every person. The joy of my recovery was to find God within me. – Angela L. Wozniak Tho’ we don’t preach, or even teach, about God much, getting closer to yourself – finding your inner peace and removing your blocks to intimacy – allows you to Experience your [...]
Inspire Me
“I learned… that inspiration does not come like a bolt, nor is it kinetic, energetic, striving, but it comes to us slowly and quietly and all the time, though we must regularly and every day give it a little chance to start flowing, prime it with a little solitude and idleness.” – Brenda Ueland Not [...]
The Season
“The truth is that for all the stress surrounding this season, it’s kind of exhilarating when you finally do find just the right present for someone we love, or our home-cooked meal gets oohs and aahs at the table, or we walk through our family’s front door as a grown-up who actually knows our own [...]
In Control
“The most self-destructive thought that any person can have is thinking that he or she is not in total control of his or her life. – Roger Dawson No one is in control of your happiness but you; therefore, you have the power to change anything about yourself or your life that you want to [...]
Thanks!
“What if you gave someone a gift, and they neglected to thank you for it–would you be likely to give them another? Life is the same way. In order to attract more of the blessings that life has to offer, you must truly appreciate what you already have.” – Ralph Marston Give thanks for all [...]
Should I, or Should I not?
“Most people are so busy knocking themselves out trying to do everything they think they should do, they never get around to do what they want to do.” – Kathleen Winsor Bad Shoulds = those that stick in our heads, usually in someone else’s voice but that we don’t want to do… or don’t even [...]
You Are All You Need to Be!
“Everything you need you already have. You are complete right now, you are a whole, total person, not an apprentice person on the way to someplace else.” – Wayne Dyer “Who you really are is enough.” – Oriah Mountain Dreamer “Wherever you are is always the right place. There is never a need to fix [...]
Leo Buscaglia, A Tribute
Only when we give joyfully, without hesitation or thought of gain, can we truly know what love means. – Leo Buscaglia, 1924-1998, American Author and Expert on Love and Human Relationships This is a loving tribute to one of the greatest teachers of LOVE and living Life to the fullest. A Cheerleader for Life! Leo [...]
EI101.com
Just so you’ll know (and it’s easier to refer your friends, hint, hint): We’re now EI101.com This site can now be reached using the address http://www.EI101.com. My intention is to write an emotional intelligence training course called EI101… and follow it with EI102, EI201, EI301 & EI401… all of which I recently registered. stay tuned! [...]
Are you Teachable?
“The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn.” – Alvin Toffler Part of Emotional Intelligence is about learning about our past, how and what we learned from our parents and our childhood, and how all that still effects us today, [...]
Emotional Intelligence and the 3 Little Pigs
Here’s an interesting article about how Emotional Intelligence, and the study of engineering, can be likened to the story of the 3 little pigs. Very well done… read on. http://www.e-ii.org/3b.asp – Matt
Change Myself
We are absolutely powerless to change others, but we are absolutely powerful to change ourselves. – Doc Downing
Full Range of Emotions
“When you are able to contain both your light and dark together, that is a very enlightening state. It means that you no longer have to choose one experience over another. You do not have to choose love OR hate, blame OR forgiveness, sadness OR joy, anger OR openheartedness. You are no longer polarized; no [...]
Beyond Beliefs
Are you ready to shift some of your core beliefs about who you are and how you fit into the world? Emotional Intelligence is the answer.
Little You vs. Big You
What would the child you once were think of the person you are today? Would your inner child like your outer adult? list your answer in a comment, below.
Emotional Intelligence can Hurt!
Self-knowledge and self-improvement are very difficult for most people. It usually needs great courage and long struggle. – Dr. Abraham Maslow It’s true. Emotional growth can be damned uncomfortable! By definition, trying something new and pushing yourself to new heights is gonna be awkward, uneasy, even painful and unpleasant at times. Get used to it. [...]
Be Honest with Yourself
Our relationship with ourselves is the most important relationship we need to maintain. The quality of that relationship will determine the quality of all our other relationships. When we can tell ourselves how we feel, and accept our own feelings, we can be real with others. When we can accept what we want and need, [...]
Don’t Give Up!
Often the difference between a successful person and a failure is not one has better abilities or ideas, but the courage that one has to bet on one’s ideas, to take a calculated risk – and to act. – Andre Malraux I know quite certainly that I myself have no special talent; curiosity, obsession & [...]
Big People
“Really big people are, above everything else, courteous, considerate and generous – not just to some people in some circumstances – but to everyone all the time.” – Thomas J. Watson, Sr. Why? Because it FEELS GOOD to be courteous, considerate and generous! Try it. It’s fun!
What Are Feelings For?
What is the purpose of our Feelings & Emotions? (leave your answer in a comment below)
All Feelings are Good!
“What is needed, rather than running away or controlling or suppressing or any other resistance, is understanding fear; that means, watch it, learn about it, come directly into contact with it. We are to learn about fear, not how to escape from it.” – Jiddu Krishnamurti “All feelings are good!” – Cal Banyan
Emotional Choices
“Freedom of choice is more to be treasured than any possession earth can give.” – David O. McKay Right on, David! and Emotional Intelligence gives you MORE CHOICES on how you react and how you behave and how you SUCCEED! “What man wants is simply independent choice, whatever that may cost and wherever it may [...]
Tune In!
I love to think of nature as an unlimited broadcasting station, through which God speaks to us every hour, if we only will tune in. – George Washington Carver
Emotional Awareness
Awareness is the first key to all change! “Relative to the level of awareness that is possible for us, our ordinary state of consciousness is as far from a direct experience of reality as sleep is from waking consciousness.” – Don Richard Riso and Russ Hudson “The thought ‘I exist’ is not the same thing [...]
What is Happiness?
I liked this article and thought it was a very good way of explaining what Happiness is… “I have found that happiness is not something we look for and not something that is “out there” or out of our reach. Rather, it is about being present with what IS. It is about being grateful for [...]
Bring soul into the world
“We live in a culture that is greatly biased against the imagination, because our culture is very materialistic, objective and literal. Our culture lacks soul, and doesn’t know it, although it experiences the consequences. When you don’t know what’s missing, then of course you don’t know what to bring in, even though you feel something [...]
Emotional Safety
Creating Emotional Safety within an aware, loving group of people is one of the most amazing feelings one can possibly experience, and one of the very BEST ways to heal, quickly and effectively! “A group of humans becomes healing and converting only after its members have learned to stop trying to heal and convert. Community [...]
10 Steps to Unlocking “The Secret”
Here are some steps to take to get more Abundance into your life: 1. Clear Your Mind 2. Decide What You Want 3. Ask For It 4. Visualize Having It 5. Express and Feel Gratitude 6. Let Go of Control 7. Stay Positive 8. Be Patient 9. Invite It In 10. Share the Wealth by [...]
Translating
I’ve found that the Language of Emotional Intelligence is different than regular English, spoken on the streets and in our homes and workplaces. People say things like: “I feel…” “I believe…” “How am I not being clear?” “I hear you.” “I’m listening.” “How can I be clearer so you’ll understand better?” and the language of [...]
The Other Energy Crises, by Jon Gordon
The Other Energy Crises Powerful article on how emotional intelligence (EQ) in the workplace, again, is more important than IQ! “Today’s employees are under-engaged, overtired and overstressed. The fact is that enhanced energy, success and performance cannot be found in a can of Red Bull or a cup of espresso. Instead of being energy drainers, [...]
Be a Great Leader – Know yourself and your Peeps
All great leaders have one characteristic in common – they have a high degree of Emotional Intelligence. – Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence, 1995
Emotional Success, the movie
Personal Success – a young dude, maybe 17 or 18. hand on door, to step inside — himself! – – show him reliving certain childhood events that were big for him, emotionally, – – – watch him stuff his feelings, and deny them, and gloss over them – – – – then watch his unresolved [...]
Animator vs Animation
Check out this movie… just for fun… very clever! Enjoy. – Matt The Animator vs. his Animationhttp://alanbecker.deviantart.com/art/Animator-vs-Animation-34244097 Animator vs. Animation by *alanbecker on deviantART
You are not alone!
Our first and last love is – self-love. – Bovee It’s all about you! It’s all about love. It’s all about you, loving you. If you cannot, or do not, love yourself, how can you ask someone else to do something you are unwilling to do? Find love for yourself within yourself. Ask your Higher [...]
F.E.A.R.
Does my Fear control me, or do I control my Fear? As always, I have some choices in how handle my Fear? Do I: Fight Everything And Run    or Face Everything And Recover I try to go towards my emotional Fears, not away from them. I will no longer be afraid of my own [...]
Super-Learning Mode
"Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can – there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did." – Sarah Caldwell Learning is fun. Learning is free (usually). Learning is life. Learn-learn-learn! My favorite clients/friends are in what I call "Super-Learning Mode". It’s a state, often immediately following [...]
Is it all just a fancy Sales pitch?
I believe some think I sound like I’m ‘hawking my wares’, trying to Sell people on these powerful emotional intelligence concepts… that’s ’cause I am! I don’t know how else to put it so that people will believe me to the point that they will go inside themselves to make the difficult, sometimes painful, changes [...]
I’m Scared.
I’m really scared. I’m scared that people are hurting out there, and we have some keys to healing, but they don’t know that, and keep on hurting because of us. Because of our inability to sum it up, and get the point across. succinctly, powerfully and life-changingly. We don’t even have much for sale.We’re not [...]
Make People Feel Important
"Pretend that every single person you meet has a sign around his or her neck that says, Make Me Feel Important. Not only will you succeed in sales, you will succeed in life." – Mary Kay Ash
Pay Attention to your Emotions!
"Emotions are the next frontier to be understood and conquered. To manage our emotions is not to drug them or suppress them, but to understand them so that we can intelligently direct our emotional energies and intentions…. It’s time for human beings to grow up emotionally, to mature into emotionally managed and responsible citizens. No [...]
Processing your Feelings
"Spiritual progress is like detoxification. Things have to come up in order to be released. Once we have asked to be healed, then our unhealed places are forced to the surface." – Marianne Williamson We call it "Processing your Feelings". We find them, we acknowledge them, we allow them, we FEEL them, we release them [...]
Fear can ruin your life!
Fear defeats more people than any other one thing in the world. -Ralph Waldo Emerson As I’ve said many times before, I believe that FEAR has ruined more lives, and more relationships, than anger has! Fear is sneeky. Fear is quiet. Fear is subtle. Anger is LOUD and obvious and usually obnoxious. You can easily [...]
Emotional Maturity
IMAGES OF MOMMY — an example of emotional maturity 4 YEARS OF AGEMy Mommy can do anything! 8 YEARS OF AGEMy Mom knows a lot! A whole lot! 12 YEARS OF AGEMy Mother doesn’t really know quite everything. 14 YEARS OF AGENaturally, Mother doesn’t know that either. 16 YEARS OF AGEMother? She’s hopelessly old-fashioned. [...]
Happiness
"Happiness is an inside job." – William Arthur Ward
Showing Feelings
"Never apologize for showing feelings. When you do so, you apologize for the truth." – Benjamin Disraeli, 1804-1881, British Statesman and Literary Figure "Be an all-out, not a hold-out." – Norman Vincent Peale You know how people are often trying to Hide their feelings from others?? Well, much of the time, I actually WANT people [...]
Feelings are the truth
If you don’t live in your feelings, you don’t live in the real world. Feelings are the truth. What you do with them will decide whether you live in honesty or by a lie. Using defenses to try to manage feelings may distort your perception of the truth, but it does not alter the truth. [...]
Fear and Passion
All men should strive to learn before they die what they are running from, and to, and why. – James Thurber
I don’t get angry, I get even (a joke)
Here is a great definition of Passive-Aggressive Behavior. I think this is also a good example of: I don’t get angry, I get even. CURTAIN RODS—- PRICELESS She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things. On the [...]
Kindness and Wisdom
Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt, kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate. – Albert Schweitzer, 1875-1965, Alsatian Theologian/Musician/Medical Missionary A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it. – Albert Einstein, 1879-1955, German-born American Physicist It doesn’t take any time or money to be kind. – [...]
Change: It’s Worth The Risk
"Change. It has the power to uplift, to heal, to stimulate, surprise, open new doors, bring fresh experience and create excitement in life. Certainly it is worth the risk." – Leo Buscaglia “I can change. I can live out my imagination instead of my memory. I can tie myself to my limitless potential instead of [...]
Find Peace Within You
“Practice silence and you will acquire silent knowledge. In this silent knowledge is a computing system that is far more precise and far more accurate and far more powerful than anything that is contained in the boundaries of rational thought.” – Deepak Chopra
Emotional Results
Commit to yourself that you will persue a course of Emotional Intelligence and understanding. Give it a few years (2-4) and I guarentee results. massive, life-enhancing, incredible results. Depending on how deep and ingrained your "issues" are, it may take as many as 5 or even 7 years. but so what? do you have something [...]
Cool Quote, again
Manifesting dreams has never been easier, not once in all eternity, than it will be during the rest of your life. Nor has it been easier for anyone who’s ever lived, than it now is for you. – The Universe | www.Tut.com
2 Cool Quotes
The best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it. – Harry S. Truman, 1884-1972, 33rd President of the United States Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with No Loss of Enthusiasm. –Winston Churchill, 1874-1965, English Politician/Author/Nobel [...]
Feeling Safe
“Oh the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are — chaff and grain together — certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with the breath [...]
Books on Emotional Intelligence
(all text below was extracted from verbiage found on Amazon.com to describe these books. I ordered all 5.) Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child by John Gottman The authors identify a five-step "emotion coaching" process to help teach children how to recognize and address their feelings, which includes becoming aware of the child’s emotions; recognizing that [...]
Say it in any language, just Say it!
Tell your friends. Tell your family. Tell your co-workers. even tell your boss (if appropriate). Imagine leaving this earth without having told all the people you love how you really feel! English I Love You Spanish Te Amo French Je T’aime German lch Liebe Dich Japanese Ai Shite Imasu Thai Phom rak khun Italian Ti [...]
Name your emotions, so you can tame them
Brain scans reveal why meditation works (LiveScience)http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/world/2007-07/03/content_908252.htm "If you name your emotions, you can tame them, according to new research that suggests why meditation works. Brain scans show that putting negative emotions into words calms the brain’s emotion center. That could explain meditation’s purported emotional benefits because people who meditate often label their negative emotions [...]
High Emotional Intelligence v. Low Emotional Intelligence
Examples of High v. Low EQ————————–chill v. tensionpatience v. stressacting (non-reacting) v. reactinghurry without rushingpersistance v. flitting aboutgiving in v. giving uplistening v. yappingventing v. dumping uponyour own shoulds v. other people’s shouldspersonal responsibility v. blaming / victimknowing what you can control v. what you cannotknowing what’s your problem v. what’s NOT your problemmeditating v. [...]
Conquering Fear
"You can conquer almost any fear if you will only make up your mind to do so. For remember, fear doesn’t exist anywhere except in the mind." – Dale Carnegie Fear = False Evidence Appearing Real
Emotional Awareness
"The beginning of wisdom is to call things by their right names. " – Chinese Proverb — "Emotional awareness is the first key to change." – mcp — "Our lives improve only when we take chances – and the first and most difficult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves." – Walter [...]
Building a Healthy Self-Esteem
Building a Healthy Self-Esteem (article) http://www.happynews.com/news/672007/building-healthy-self-esteem.htm Here’s a good article on being "real" with your kid. Positive, definitely. Over-Positive, no. (but over-positive still beats over-negative!). Here are some excerpts from this article so you’ll get the point… "Few things are more important to a child’s personal growth than having a healthy self-esteem. We help our [...]
Hiding Feelings From Yourself
"One of the greatest moments in anybody’s developing experience is when he no longer tries to hide from himself but determines to get acquainted with himself as he really is." – Norman Vincent Peale
The Beauty of Having Choices
A good anger acted upon is beautiful as lightning and swift with power.A good anger swallowed clots the blood like slime. -Marge Piercy — "One thing we can do is make the choice to view the world in a healthy way. We can choose to see the world as safe with only moments of danger [...]
Compassion
"Compassion is the ultimate and most meaningful embodiment of emotional maturity. It is through compassion that a person achieves the highest peak and deepest reach in his or her search for self-fulfillment." – Arthur Jersild
Benefits of Emotional Intelligence (2)
"Does emotional intelligence help boost sales, improve customer satisfaction, reduce turnover, increase safety, and enhance productivity?" by Joshua Freedman, EQ Teacher, extraordinaire! . Sales When I ask sales people in all kinds of businesses for the key to their effectiveness, the first answer is "relationships." So if emotional intelligence is essential to building good relationships, [...]
It’s Official…
. EQ > IQ !! .
Let Go, Let God
"When we know that love matters more than anything, and we know that nothing else REALLY matters, we move into the state of surrender. Surrender does not diminish our power, it enhances it." – Sara Paddison … and, some of the bravest acts I’ve ever witnessed were those of total Surrender. It takes incredible Emotional [...]
Emotional Intelligence Defined
emotional intelligence n. Intelligence regarding the emotions, especially in the ability to monitor one’s own or others’ emotions. The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition copyright ©2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Updated in 2003.
Purpose Brings Joy
"There is no more important step you can take than to define your life’s purpose. It develops your sense of belonging to our universe." – Arnold Patent We ALL need some sense of belonging… with each other, with ourselves, with the earth. Who are you and what do you bring to the world? So, what’s [...]
Personal Responsibility is a Key
"It doesn’t matter how you come to it…just that you do: Finally recognize that no one is responsible for your life but you." – Oprah Winfrey If you blame, whine, complain and otherwise victimize yourself, you are giving your power away. Take control of your own life by taking full responsibility for who you are, [...]
PHILOSOPHY IN PSYCHOTHERAPY with ALBERT ELLIS, Ph.D.
Below is an interview with Albert Ellis, Ph.D. Please read it thru, or at least skim it. It is the clearest, most profound explanation I’ve seen about how Human Behaviour works, including the feelings and emotions behind all that we do. Some of Dr. Ellis’s basic premises: "The main thing is to accept responsibility for [...]
Are you a Believer or a Doubter?
"If you expect the best, you will be the best. Learn to use one of the most powerful laws in this world; change your mental habits to belief instead of disbelief. Learn to expect, not to doubt. In so doing, you bring everything into the realm of possibility." – Dr. Norman Vincent Peale Stop and [...]
Take Time To Trust
Oftentimes leaders attempt to quantify or qualify the time they spend with their staff or even their children! We hear, “I invested hours of quality time to train that individual”, or “It takes years of dedicated training to produce a worthy employee”, or even “I’m such an awesome leader that I don’t even need to [...]
Loving Yourself
"It is not selfish or narcissistic to love yourself. It is your first and foremost responsibility." – Alan Cohen
Facing Fear
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of [...]
Say YES to Life!
"The indispensable first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: decide what you want." – Ben Stein …and picture it, and ask for, and see yourself having it.- The Secret http://www.TheSecret.TV ————————————————————- "You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage — pleasantly, smilingly, nonapologetically — [...]
Compassion and Understanding
t "When we experience the pain of another person, we instinctively want to take away that pain. But by taking away the other person’s pain, we also take away his or her opportunity to grow. To be truly compassionate, we must be able to share another person’s suffering and pain — knowing there is nothing [...]
Emotional Myths
Myth 1: Emotions are more primitive than reason. Emotions originate in the brain just like reason, even though you might feel them in your heart or in your gut. They are equally valid when making decisions, the key to making informed decisions it to consult both sides of your brain. Myth 2: Clamping down on [...]
Self-Evaluation
Emotional Intelligence Self-Evaluation Assessment Measures: Emotional Awareness Managing One’s Emotions Self-Motivation Empathy Coaching Others’ Emotions Take the 30-question test here: http://ed.swau.edu/England/handouts/emotional_intelligence_self-evaluation.pdf
Feelings are the Key!
"With just a little education and practice on how to manage your emotions, you can move into a new experience of life so rewarding that you will be motivated to keep on managing your emotional nature in order to sustain it. The payoff is delicious in terms of improved quality of life." – Doc Childre
Benefits of Emotional Intelligence
1. Better communication skills Powerful, not wimpy. Strong and able to be tough, without being Cold. With personal Boundaries and the strength and tools to uphold them. 2. Heightened Self-Awareness "Depression is Anger turned Inward." "When we feel Guilty, we’ll set ourselves up to be Punished." "Negative emotions, expressed verbally as intensely as they are [...]
Quotes on Guilt (2)
"If we don’t forgive ourselves for our mistakes, and others for the wounds they have inflicted upon us, we end up crippled with guilt. And the soul cannot grow under a blanket of guilt, because guilt is isolating, while growth is a gradual process of reconnection to ourselves, to other people, and to a larger [...]
Quotes on Sadness
"To weep is to make less the depth of grief." – William Shakespeare "When the heart grieves over what it has lost, the spirit rejoices over what it has left." – Sufi epigram "There is no despair so absolute as that which comes with the first moments of our first great sorrow, when we have [...]
How to be Happy
Remember the five simple rules to being Happy: 1. Free your heart from hatred. 2. Free your mind from worries. 3. Live simply. 4. Give more. 5. Expect less.
Forgiveness
Forgiveness IS NOT: 1) A sense of false humility that makes us better than somebody else 2) Condoning ignorant or harmful behavior 3) Any one specific set of "right" behaviors 4) A "spiritual" evasion of real grief work. Forgiveness IS: 1) A deep psycho-spiritual process capable of honing our wisdom 2) An attitude that sets [...]
John Bradshaw
John Bradshaw is one of my biggest heroes, and has personally made a huge difference in my growth and healing… See a list of his many works here. Thanks, John!
Feeling Verbs
Here’s some of the verbs I’ve heard about what we do with our Feelings & Emotions: Get in touch with your feelings Manage your emotions Get a handle on your feelings Get a grip on yourself Calm down Mellow out Chill, take a chill pill Relax and enjoy Take a break Find inner peace Deal [...]
Anger Resources
Healthy Anger: How to Help Children and Teens Manage Their Anger Anger, when properly understood, tells more about wants and needs than about the person or situation that has caused the anger. Getting Control of Your Anger: A Clinically Proven, Three-Step Plan for Getting to the Root of the Problem and Resolving It Robert Allan [...]
Inner Child Work
Here’s a cool way that inner child work, a critical step in healing our feelings, was explained by a therapist in Florida… Inner Child Experiential Psychotherapy builds upon the work of renowned therapists such as John Bradshaw, Virginia Satir, Hal Stone, Milton Erickson, Alice Miller and many others whose efforts focus on the unmet needs [...]
Take Control of your Life (2)
3 Big Questions who am I? — – — – — Heal pain and anger from your past. now what? — – — – — Get a grip on the present. then what? — – — – — Create the future of your choosing. Answer those, and your life is yours.
Depression Help
Help with Depression http://www.depression.com/getting_support.html Mood Gym: Depression help, CBT re: depression, no charge. has characters! http://moodgym.anu.edu.au/ Depression Questionnaire 16 multiple choice questions, no assessment http://www.depression.com/depression_questionnaire.html Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance(formerly the National Depressive and Manic-Depressive Association )730 North Franklin, Suite 501Chicago, IL 60601-7204Toll-free: (800) 826-3632E-mail: chapters@dbsalliance.org http://www.dbsalliance.org/ National Alliance for the Mentally Ill (NAMI)Colonial Place [...]
I’d like to Teach the world to Sing (but not in perfect harmony).
I want to teach the world the incredible power of basic Emotional Intelligence skills (EQ skills). Teach people to imagine.to visualize.to plan.to conjure.to ask for.to attract.to believe.to trust.to love. to be open. or not.to feel. or not. to allow.to create.to receive.to give.to play.to laugh.to sing.to dance.to scream.to cry. to emote. honestly, without drama.to make boundaries.to [...]
Emotional Intelligence is the key to Happiness and Success!
If you know what to Expect from yourself, you’re in control. If you have no idea what you’re gonna do next, you’re Out of Control. If you don’t Understand yourself, don’t Know yourself, don’t know what to Expect from yourself, how can you be successful at anything?!? How can anyone count on you? How can [...]
The Secret Movie 30 Day Challenge
Make a commitment NOW to make the next month, March 2007, a month of real, quantifiable change and growth in your life! Take the 30 day challenge, based on the life-changing movie The Secret, and "manifest" something New and DIFFERENT and Cool in your life, now. Link: The Secret Movie 30 Day Challenge. (lead by [...]
The EQ Edge
The appearance in 1995 of Daniel Goleman’s Emotional Intelligence: Why it can Matter More than IQ generated a flood of interest in the role that emotional intelligence plays in our lives. Goleman elegantly surveyed years of research into psychological functioning and interpersonal skills, presenting his case to general readers in a coherent and accessible way. [...]
Emotional Quotient Defined
Unlike intelligence quotient IQ, which is relatively fixed after seventeen years of age, emotional quotient EQ can be enhanced throughout your life. When you enhance your emotional quotient, you increase your chance of success in the countless roles you play each day. When you develop your emotional quotient, you learn to understand yourself and others [...]
Quotes on Fear
"Courage is not the absence of fear, but the conquering of it. Your fears are not walls, but hurdles." – Dan Millman "Many of our fears are tissue-paper-thin, and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them." – Brendan Francis “It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, [...]
Creatures of Emotion
"When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion." – Dale Carnegie
Feelings and Emotion Defined
Research on "Feelings"View results from: Dictionary | Thesaurus | Encyclopedia | All Reference | the Web —Synonyms: Feeling, emotion, passion, sentiment refer to pleasurable or painful sensations experienced when one is stirred to sympathy, anger, fear, love, grief, etc. —————-Research on "Emotion"View results from: Dictionary | Thesaurus | Encyclopedia | All Reference | the Web [...]
Heal Feelings – Do What it Takes!
You cannot begin your healing journey without the willingness to do so. Without the willingness to do whatever it takes to heal from your wounded self, you will not begin the journey of healing and evolving your soul. “Doing whatever it takes” means that you are ready and willing to feel, understand and take full [...]
Asking for Help
The healthy, the strong individual, is the one who asks for help when he needs it. Whether he has an abscess on his knee or in his soul. – Rona Barrett Asking for help does not mean that we are weak or incompetent. It usually indicates an advanced level of honesty and intelligence. – Anne [...]
The Secret, a movie – Watch it!
Watch the movie, The Secret. imho, one of the best personal growth movies of all time (in the same arena as ‘What the Bleep’). http://www.TheSecret.TV $4.95, 90 minutesTrailer version, 2 min: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=1443364536882886742 "Who you are today is a sum total of what you have ALREADY thought and felt." – Jack Canfield, "Chicken Soup for the [...]
Super Bowl Feelings
Well, it was a GREAT Game! Hard fought, exciting, interesting. And I was real Happy with how well everyone behaved. The words "Love" and "God" were used a lot, and there was an upbeat, family-like warmth amongst both the players and coaches. Even the commercials were pretty upbeat and feelings-conscious. I watched the game with [...]
Showing Feelings
Pink Floyd, The Wall"The Trial" (barrister)Good morning worm, your honor.the crown will plainly show the prisoner who now stands before you,was caught red-handed showing feelings.showing feelings of an almost human nature. THIS WILL NOT DO. call the schoolmaster… (schoolmaster)I always said you’d come to no good in the end, your honor.if they would have had [...]
#1 Top Life Skills
#1 Most Powerful Interpersonal Communication Skill: Shut Up and Listen #1 Most Important Relationship in Life: Your relationship with Yourself #1 Best Thing you can do for you and your family’s Present and Future: Increase your Emotional Intelligence #1 Deepest, most life-trashing, relationship-blasting, sex-ruining, self-esteem-bashing, hopeless event we can experience: Being molested or violated as [...]
Quotes on Success (2)
"He who has achieved success has worked well, laughed often and loved much." – Elbert Hubbard "Too often, people focus only on results. But getting results without learning something or without having fun are incomplete. Accomplishment is all three: the result, personal growth and having fun." – Peter L. Hirsch "There are many aspects to [...]
Feelings Toward Yourself
"It’s surprising how many persons go through life without ever recognizing that their feelings toward other people are largely determined by their feelings toward themselves, and if you’re not comfortable within yourself, you can’t be comfortable with others." – Sydney J. Harris Yep, it’s all about YOU!
How People Work
Here’s how we got to be who we are, and why we do what we do… Event -> Meaning -> Feeling -> Behavior EVENT: Shit happens. Sometimes really bad stuff, especially to little kids.stuff happen to us, around us, through us, between us. MEANING: We try to make sense of it … "I am bad", [...]
Relationships and Money
hard to believe, but it’s true… "All the money you’ve ever made,and all the money you will ever make,will come from a Relationship.The key is to focus on the Quality of your Relationships." – jr@well.com
Patience and perseverance
"Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish." – John Quincy Adams
Playing your Heart out!
"I believe in playing with your heart, with every fiber in your body — fairly, squarely, by the rules–to win. And I believe that any man’s finest moment, the greatest fulfillment of all he holds dear, is that moment when he has worked his heart out and lies exhausted on the floor of battle — [...]
Take Control of your Life!
"The difference between great people and everyone else is that great people create their lives actively, while everyone else is created by their lives, passively waiting to see where life takes them next. The difference between the two is the difference between living fully and just existing." – Michael E. Gerber heck yeah!thanks, Kristin for [...]
Contribution to Peace
I contribute to peace… (author unknown) I contribute to Peace when I strive to express the best of myself in my contacts with others. I contribute to Peace when I use my intelligence and my abilities to serve the Good. I contribute to Peace when I feel compassion toward all those who suffer. I contribute [...]
Quotes on Guilt
Guilt "When guilt rears its ugly head confront it, discuss it and let it go. The past is over. It is time to ask what did we do right, not what did we do wrong. Forgive yourself and move on." – Bernie S. Siegel "I have made it a rule of my life never to [...]
No More Wars (2)
"War" is a mighty strong word… but it’s a strong message, too. Ok, we’re going to war. We wage a:war against Shoulds.war against perfection.war against harshness, and cruelty, and unnecessary pain.war against emotional ignorance and cluelessness.war against separateness and isolation and making enemies.war against aloneness and loneliness.war against rage, replaced with good clean anger.war against [...]
No More Wars (1)
Free Yourself from Emotional Prison! (see Mr. Einstein’s quote that I posted yesterday.)he said: "Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty." it’s not a war, it’s a liberation.it’s not a fight, it’s a [...]
No More Wars
-There will never be another world war — ever! In fact, I believe wars will decline in the future, both in severity and in number. I believe that we, as a planet, are slowly, but surely, "Getting It", and I’m very happy about that! I have hope for the future. I believe we are on [...]
EQ Rocks!
More Happiness, Less Humbug -Strategies To Beat The Holiday Blahs http://www.eqatwork.com/eqblog/?p=55 Joseph Liberti, founder of EQ At Work
Free Yourself from Emotional Prison
"A human being is a part of the whole, called by us the ‘Universe’, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest – a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to [...]
Positive Feelings
"Heartfelt positive feelings create far more than a healthy psychological effect. They fortify our internal energy systems and nourish the body right down to the cellular level. For that reason, we like to think of these emotions as quantum nutrients." – Doc Childre and Howard Martin and, a good one for me… "Better to write [...]
The 3 Parts of our Brains
(i thought this was fascinating… the brain has 3 parts, including an Emotional center. A good friend sent this to me so I’ll have to find out the source for you) “Who Are You? 101 Ways of Seeing Yourself” Author – Malcolm Godwin. Georgiades Ivanovitch Gurdjieff, the charismatic Armenian mystic & teacher, maintained that human [...]
Laughter Really is Contagious!
Laughter really is contagious, a new study of the brain finds:http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16177354/ “It seems that it’s absolutely true that ‘laugh and the whole world laughs with you,’” said Sophie Scott, a neuroscientist at the University College London. “We usually encounter positive emotions, such as laughter or cheering, in group situations, whether watching a comedy program with [...]
BELIEVE
I watched the movie Polar Express tonight… and it was beautiful. I laughed and cried, and it was really great. So much feeling from just a movie! I know that may sound funny to most, but coming from a woman who doesn’t cry, especially at movies…. that means a lot. I realized tonight that almost [...]
Intro to L.J.
~It’s almost 2:40 am and I can’t sleep. The past few days have been intense for me, and maybe that’s why I can’t sleep. I have been sick, overwhelmed and busy…and in the midst of it all, I have gained a complete sense of clarity that I used to believe only happened when I asked [...]
Awareness is the 1st Key to Change
“Relative to the level of awareness that is possible for us, our ordinary state of consciousness is as far from a direct experience of reality as sleep is from waking consciousness.” – Don Richard Riso and Russ Hudson Awareness is the 1st Key to Change. A person asked Buddha:“Are you a God?”Buddha’s reply was“No.”“Are you [...]
Show me the way
Show me the way and I will not stray.
Loving Attitude
If a bug gets on my screen, or on my walls. I’ll try to shoe them gently away. (unless it’s a mosquito or a bee) and if they return, again, I say "Hello", smile and welcome them into my world.
What’s UP?
Lovers of the English language might enjoy this….. There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is "UP." It’s easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP? [...]
Love and Support
"Matt, you can use my wording any time.I would also like to say that I have never in my life experienced the type of love and support that is developed in such a short period of time, until I attended a ND weekend. I have been practicing setting boundaries without getting out of control angry.Since [...]
No Regrets
"Brighter is possibly the best word… In the brief respite I’m enjoying, I’m feeling more secure about me… I’ve separated myself from a few external judgments, let go of a few self imposed ones… released some emotions that I had stored specifically for use in being supportive of my partner (i.e., matching)… seeing others’ expectations [...]
Society Needs Soul
"We live in a culture that is greatly biased against the imagination, because our culture is very materialistic, objective and literal. Our culture lacks soul, and doesn’t know it, although it experiences the consequences. When you don’t know what’s missing, then of course you don’t know what to bring in, even though you feel something [...]
It is in your Power
“If you are pained by external things, it is not they that disturb you, but your own judgment of them. And it is in your power to wipe out that judgment now.” – Marcus Aurelius
Wisdom
"The day the child realizes that all adults are imperfect he becomes an adolescent; The day he forgives them, he becomes an adult; The day he forgives himself, he becomes wise." – Aiden Nowlan
About People
A Course About People, by Thomas Leonard, the ‘Father of the Coaching Industry", on what would have been his 50th birthday. Complete wording is here (send a blank email): mailto:2GetHelp.com-118974@autocontactor.com SAMPLE STATEMENTS: People do not understand how greatly their decisions are influenced by their emotions. People think their beliefs are grounded in logic, whereas they [...]
Living Out Loud
1. Everyone’s complaining about the heat in California .Even people only 30 miles away from the coast. Our friends in Sacramento and Fresno have lived in over 100 degree heat for almost a month now. I’ll trade you. I’ve only taken off my sweatshirt for a few short periods in the last week or so, [...]
Turning Anger Into Love
It’s not: I love you but I’m angry with you. It’s: I love you and I’m angry with you. both exist at the same time. remove the anger and what’s left, the Love.—actually, It’s not even: I’m angry with you. it’s more: I’m angry with your Behavior. I can love you and hate your behaviors [...]
The Fear of Feeling
Good article by Dr. Margaret Paul on how/why we avoid our feelings: "I have discovered that there are three feelings which most people want to avoid at all cost: aloneness, loneliness and helplessness. The problem is that we still think we will die if we feel these feelings, so we are still avoiding them. " [...]
Love movie
Here’s a very well done movie. A touching reminder to Listen to people (S.U.A.L. = shut up and listen) and to tell the people you love that you love them. http://www.TheLoveMovie.com/ – - Love really is the answer.
Thoughts on Forgiveness
Forgiveness is for you. You carry the pain, and the anger, and the resentment. You keep the grudge going. You are the one with the nasty thoughts. So forgiveness is for you. They may never know you forgave them (sadly, they may not even know you are angry at them). Forgiveness is about removing the [...]
What People Say about ND (continued…)
What I Learned at New Directions by Shannon, 28, still single, very painful childhood, works for her mom (yikes), incredibly low self-esteem borrowed money for a plane ticket from Illinois to take the July class. Now she wants to move here! I know I will be adding more items to this list because I keep [...]
Anger and Understanding
Anger and intolerance are the twin enemies of correct understanding. – Mahatma Gandhi, 1869-1948, Indian Political and Spiritual Leader
Great Emotions
"Disgust and resolve are two of the great emotions that lead to change." – Jim Rohn
Know What you Feel
If you know what you feel, you’ll know who you are and what you want!
We need to Educate our Kids
Researcher finds that up half (50%) of all mental illnesses start before the age of 14 and three-fourths (75%) by age 24. "That so many cases begin in people so young “is just staggering” and underscores the need for better efforts at early detection and treatment, Kessler said." http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8119644 Wow. That means we gotta teach [...]
Happiness & Success
Want Happiness and Success in your Life? Learn to Take Control of your Feelings and Emotions!
Answer this question about Feeling
How "in touch" with your Feelings are you? When was the last time you cried? today or yesterday in the last week or month in the past year can`t remember, it`s been so long Results
Quotes on Safety
“Oh the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are — chaff and grain together — certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with the breath [...]
Thoughts on Control / Being Controlled
notes to myself over the last ND weekend: Shoulds are sources of Anger Control: Do it or change it Positive Control – "You will…"Negative Control – "You can’t make me…"Whenever you have to PROVE that they can’t control you, you’re not in control, they are!Healthy Response – "Here’s what I’m willing to do…" The only [...]
praise for mcp
Love Notes from our ND class – in Fresno, CA 5/15/05 "YOU R AWESOME!"- John "Matt, You are such a treasure. I am soooo thrilled that you’re in my life.with love always."- Sharon "Matt,You continue to help me grow. The gift of having you (and Paula and New Directions) in my life is more valued [...]
Resources on Forgiveness
Resources on Forgiveness One of the ‘purposes’ to anger is to help you feel powerful and strong. It’s your body’s way of letting you know that things are not going the way you want them to. If you can be clear within yourself, and have clear, defined Boundaries for what’s Ok and what’s not Ok [...]
Feelings Revolution Calls
Hmmm… what to talk about on the next Feelings Revolution call… So far, we’ve discussed: Turning Anger into Love Benefits of being "In Touch" with your Feelings Being Fully Expressed Self-Processing: Getting to the Heart of the Matter … and others. (I just realized that when I am the most believable, is when I speak [...]
Thoughts re: my birthday
Birthday ’05lots of sadness washing through me today… not huge, just ready to be felt and released. Lots ‘o little things coming up… nothing huge. Things are going really well now. Healthy, good friends, lots ‘o love around, don’t have too many people pissed at me right now (I must not be pushing people’s limits [...]
Understand your Feelings, Control your Life!
The key to Happiness is to learn about your FEELINGS "If you know what you feel, you’ll know who you are!"- Doc Downing, PhD, LFMT We teach a weekend intensive called New Directions. Been teaching it now for over 18 years. 4 states, hundreds of classes, thousands of happy(er) graduates. New Directions changes lives. I [...]
If it’s to be, it’s up to me.
"If it’s to be, it’s up to me." – a lament of those stuck in control, unable to obtain cooperation. however, it’s also TRUE. It’s called Personal Responsibility… and it really works! The happiest people I know are those who feel they have the power to make a difference in EVERY area of their lives. [...]
Coach T and Coaching
I ran across an old testimonial pic of me, next to the immortal coach T.http://www.coachville.com/tourhowtocoach.html He single-handedly created a concept, a idea, a career, that has changed the lives of thousands already, and will effect millions, in fact the entire world, in years to come. It’s called Coaching. There is no faster and more efficient [...]
How much Control do we have?
Chances are, you have waaay more Choices over our emotional lives than we’ve ever imagined possible! Once you know and appreciate all the internal issues we can control inside us, and how, and how much, it gives us TOTAL power over our Reactions, our beliefs and our behaviors. How we connect How we relate How [...]
Being “In Touch” with Feelings and Emotions
I believe that, because I am so in touch with my feelings and emotions, I am: Better looking Stronger A better racquetball player a better Father a better Husband a better friend more consistent more Jolly more relaxed more SPonTaNeoUS! way more FUN to be around. try it.
Quotes on Trust
Believe nothing just because a so-called wise person said it. Believe nothing just because a belief is generally held. Believe nothing just because it is said in ancient books. Believe nothing just because it is said to be of divine origin. Believe nothing just because someone else believes it. Believe only what you yourself test [...]
You can have it all!
You can have anything you want. You cannot have everything you want.
Millionaire Mind
I went to the Millionaire Mind Intensive this past weekend in L.A. It was incredible. The number of dollars that changed hands at that "Free" event, was astounding… something like $2 Million… as people signed up for coaching, train-the-trainer, guerilla marketing and other workshops designed to help folks become wealthier. The personal growth movement is [...]
The Feelings Revolution
Join the Feelings Revolution you’ve heard so much about! You’ll get access to the Feelings Revolution Member Phone Calls and truck loads of inspiration to feel as BIG as you’ve always wanted to… – every Wednesday at 7pm Pacific (Calif.-time). Call in and share or just listen in. It’ll help you feel better about who [...]
I’ve learned….
I’ve learned…..That love, not time, heals all wounds. I’ve learned….That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes. I’ve learned….That we should be glad God doesn’t give us everything we ask for. I’ve learned….That money doesn’t buy class. I’ve learned….That it’s those small daily [...]
Aging Body, Ageless Soul
"When it comes to getting older, we have a choice: cling to the past (and suffer), or let go and enjoy the spiritual journey." By Ram Dass Excellent article on attitudes and beliefs you could take toward the Aging of your body. Ram Dass begins the article with: "To our egos, change is scary. "The [...]
Entertainment break!
What kind of dog are you? Load this page, then click Game and let it load. It asks 10 short questions (in a very cool way) and then let’s you know what kind of Dog you most resemble. well done.http://gone2thedogs.com/game/preloader.swf A Study in Balance This one is a commercial for Honda that you gotta see. [...]
Bold Self-Expression
"Full self-expression is, hands down, the best personal and business development strategy on the planet " – Michael Port, coach "When you’re fully Self-Expressed, very few people will be Neutral toward you anymore." – Lisa Wilder, coach
Get some Momentum in your Life!
“You can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.” – Jack London Career questions? Personal issues? Feel like you’re in a rut? Get some Momentum in your life by working with a coach. Contact Joan at Momentum Coaching and open yourself to new possibilities. www.achieve-momentum.com.
A Feeling of Hope
10 of the hugest benefits people get from the ND weekend workshop. a new understanding and appreciation for: How powerful their feelings are/can be The fact that everyone has them, and that’s where we Connect with others. The newly-found sense of Personal Power, and Confidence, and Pride. The sense that I AM in control of [...]
Life is a test!
This life is a test. It is only a test. If this had been an actual life, You would have been given further instructions on where to go and what to do. – something my dad used to say
Quotes on Purpose
"Our purpose is hidden in our joy, our inspiration, our excitement. As we act on what shows up in our life our purpose shows up." – James King "There is no more important step you can take than to define your life’s purpose. It develops your sense of belonging to our universe." – Arnold Patent [...]
My Friends
I just realized that I have a wonderful situation set up– MOST of my best friends, are also clients. AND Most of my clients are now considered Friends! Yeehaa!- Matt
Awareness is the 1st Key to change
"If you view all the things that happen to you, both good and bad, as opportunities, then you operate out of a higher level of consciousness."- Les Brown (Motivational Trainer) Awareness is the 1st Key to changeSo many of our beliefs, values and feelings come from our Unconscious mind. Learn whatever you can about what’s [...]
Quotes on Laughter
"We don’t laugh because we’re happy, we’re happy because we laugh." – William James "Laughter is like the human body wagging its tail." – Anne Wilson Schaef "More important than talent, strength, or knowledge is the ability to laugh at yourself and enjoy the pursuit of your dreams." – Amy Grant, American Singer, Song Writer [...]
Shame-based People
Let’s talk about being "Shame-based". We’ve established that the difference between Guilt and Shame is that Guilt is about something you DID that was bad, while Shame is the belief that you ARE bad. So shame-based people believe they are bad people. They assume the worst. They assume life is dangerous and people are out [...]
Anger and Crying
If you find that you’re crying and crying, with no relief… it’s probably because you’re also ANGRY… and need to deal with that, as well. If you find that you’re angry and angry, with no relief… it’s probably because you’re also HURT… and need to cry, as well. We had a guy in last weekend’s [...]
Difference between Feelings and emotions
What is the difference between feelings and emotions? An interesting answer (from Google Answers) is here. Sites a number of different authors and points of view. Read on…
Quotes on Happiness2
Success is not the key to Happiness. Happiness is the key to Success! – ?? "There is much satisfaction in work well done, but there can be no happiness equal to the joy of finding a heart that understands. " – Victor Robinsoll "In our daily lives, we must see that it is not happiness [...]
Laughter helps, Depression hurts
A daily dose of laughter may be good for the heart because, like exercise, it makes blood vessels work more efficiently, U.S. researchers reported on Monday. Depression, on the other hand, can raise the risk of dying from heart failure, a separate study found. (these may be Duh! messages, but now empirical studies agree!) read [...]
Thomas Leonard Quotes and Logos
Here is a collection of Thomas Leonard’s quotes and logos that he was playing with. They’re wonderful growth messages and show his sense of humor. Coach T was my hero, in a lot of ways. taught me a ton before he left, and his work is still teaching and inspiring me. Below are the messages, [...]
10 ways to live longer
Great Article According to Forbes, below are some practical ways to live longer, healthier lives. And Yes, most have to do with FEELING better = Live Longer. (5 out of 10 are feeling-based) There’s even a nice little Slideshow to help make these points.1. Don’t oversleep 2. Be optimistic 3. Have more sex 4. Get [...]
Quotes on Intention
"As I grow older, I pay less attention to what people say. I just watch what they do." -Andrew Carnegie "Life does not happen to us, it happens from us." – Mike Wickett "When we know that the cause of something is in ourselves, and that we (ourselves) are one of the few things in [...]
The One to Call
just thinkin’… MCP: the one to call when you are tired of being unhappy. MCP: the one to call when you are tired of being a victim. MCP: the one to call when you are tired of feeling bad. MCP: the one to call when you want more than you’ve got. MCP: the one to [...]
Taking Control of Your Life
Ok, people need positive Environments in which to live their positive, healthy life. It WAS their environment that helped them / allowed them to get the way they are. It IS their environment that somehow keeps them that way. The question is: What WILL BE their Environment in the future, to allow for healing and [...]
Share the feeling
"Share the feeling experience with as many people as possible without trying to hawk some trinket. We sell possibilities and achievement and happiness, not snake oil." – Mark @ dropdeadhappy.com
Authentic Happiness
The New Science of Happinesshttp://www.time.com/time/2005/happiness/ – awesome article, but you gotta sign-up for Time Magazine (6 mo. for $1.99, which I did). I’ll try to sum it up for you later. Basically, they’ve done Plenty of studies on Depression and some on Anger and Sadness, but very few on Happy and Happiness and Joy. So [...]
Quotes on Love
"Love is a force more formidable than any other. It is invisible, it cannot be seen or measured, yet it is powerful enough to transform you in a moment, and offer you more joy than any material possession could." – Barbara DeAngelis "True Success:Doing what you love to do.With the people you love to do [...]
Through a Child’s Eyes
When I look at a patch of dandelions, I see a bunch of weeds that are going to take over my yard. My kids see flowers for Mom and blowing white fluff you can wish on. *** When I look at an old drunk and he smiles at me, I see a smelly, dirty person [...]
More Happiness Quotes
There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy. By being happy, we sow enormous benefits upon the world. – Robert Louis Stevenson ————————————————————- Happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in length. – Robert Frost
Quotes on Happiness
See here for LOTS of quotes on Happiness… like: Albert Schweitzer: Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. Albert Schweitzer: I don’t know what your destiny will be, but one thing I do know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought [...]
Feelings Can Get Stuck
From PyschologyHelp.com: "Many therapists have elevated feelings almost to godlike status. They are extremely important. If you cannot feel, you are most definitely psychologically unhealthy. Also, the more you cannot feel, the unhealthier you are. There has been much essential therapy emphasis on learning to feel and to express emotions." but, they also warn (and [...]
Awesome Search Engine Rankings!
As of this morning, this site was ranked as follows: feelings quote#1 on Google feelings control#1 & #2 on Yahoo! (not sure how that happened, but I like it!)#1 & #2 on Google, too. and in the top 20 or so for:control emotions, personal responsibility, feelings and emotions EXCELLENT — Your comments, trackbacks and links [...]
Quotes on Feeling
"With just a little education and practice on how to manage your emotions, you can move into a new experience of life so rewarding that you will be motivated to keep on managing your emotional nature in order to sustain it. The payoff is delicious in terms of improved quality of life." – Doc Childre
Self Discipline and Success
Self-denial: Is it good for you? "Self-denial puts you in charge of your thoughts and feelings and not at the mercy of them and this is useful when you’re feeling low or obsessing about something. To have the power to stop thinking about that which upsets you is an advantage. It is no good just [...]
Help me help you.
"Help me help you!" (quick, what movie? read on for answer) One of the biggest struggles we have is Getting People to Help Themselves. One of the places we are truly Powerless, is in dealing with other people’s Free Will. We cannot make people want to learn. We cannot make people want to heal. [...]
PTSD
Great article / testimonial by Bob Parsons (owner of GoDaddy.com) about getting (Viet Nam), living with, identifying and healing PTSD. Blog posting:http://www.bobparsons.com/index.php?/archives/18-Go-Daddy-adopts-USMC-Rifle-Company.-PTSD-and-my-experience-with-it..html Here’s another link, from Bob’s article, citing a study showing the very high incidence of PTSD in soldiers in and after Iraq.http://abcnews.go.com/Nightline/story?id=331092&page=1 According to Doc, PTSD is about pictures and images and sounds [...]
Hide our Feelings Less
"Every day, we can hide our feelings less, so we can love each other more." – Barbra Streisand"Why Let it Go?"‘Til I Love You album
Blessings
"Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting." *Bernard Meltzer, American Law Professor
5 Steps to Healthy Living
The 5 Steps to Healing and Feeling K.A.E.R.R. :: 1. Know what you Feel. 2. Accept your Feelings. 3. Express your Feelings in positive ways. 4. Release the negative feelings that have been inside your body for so long. 5. Replace the negatives with positives. Turn your sadness to Joy, your anger to Love and [...]
Feeling Cocky
It seems that whenever I start to feel COCKY, I get slammed somehow. it’s very strange, but it’s happened a lot of times. – – – Personally proud, and responsible and powerful – – those are all fine. but if I get to feeling actually Cocky — where I think I’m really special in one [...]
It’s all about Feelings
Unhappy people DON’T KNOW WHAT they Feel.Lost people DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO with their Feelings.Fat people SWALLOW their Feelings.Addicts try to CHANGE their Feelings.CoDependants DENY their Feelings.Victims BLAME their Feelings.Runners AVOID their Feelings.etc. "If we know what we Feel, we’ll know who we are and what we want." – Doc Downing, PhD, LMFT
Criminals and Feelings
I’d suggest that most Crimes in the USA are DIRECTLY RELATED to people NOT being able to manage their Feelings & Emotions!?! I have no evidence to support that (yet), but I’d bet it’s true. drugs theft fights murder rape they’re ALL feelings-based crimes! Wow. I think we better get the word out. What do [...]
Feelings are the BOSS
Your Feelings really are in charge. I hate to break it to you, but if you think your Head is in charge of your Heart, you’re DREAMIN’!
The way it is
You won’t Heal what you won’t Feel! I used to say "You can’t Heal, what you can’t Feel" but someone mentioned last night at a class Reunion (thanks, Lori), that’s it’s really "won’t"… not "can’t". What’s the difference? Personal Power. Intention. Powerful vs. Powerless. Control. BIG dif!
Here we go…
Well, I have class again this weekend. I’m leaving at 5am to drive to Berkeley for a meeting at 8, then to Sacramento for a meeting at 11:30, then I’m throwing a reunion party at 6. On Friday, play racquetball at 5am, to see a customer, then to Fresno by 5 to setup the room [...]
Thanks for the tsunami, God!
Do you realize what God just did? He created a global-sized catastrophe to get our Attention! He saw that us humans STILL haven’t figured out how to get along, so he decided to help. He created such a huge problem – – more bodies litter the earth today than any other single day in history [...]
Quotes on Fear2
"We can’t fear the past. Fear is a future thing. And since the future’s all in our heads, fear must be a head thing." – Tom Payne — "I have not ceased being fearful, but I have ceased to let fear control me." – Erica Jong
Post #200
Well, ladies and gents, this is it. Post #200 on this Blog. Took about 10 months. And over 4,500 people have now been here. Almost all of them came from SEs. This site is in the top 5-10 on many of the top search engines for such phrases as: feelings and emotions, control feelings, control [...]
You can DIE from not knowing this!
Here’s a new study on STROKES, finds that many people felt intense Anger, and drastically changed their Body posture, within 2 hours of having their Stroke. "An Israeli study suggests a link between experiencing an angry or frustrating moment and an immediate risk of Stroke." My guess is that most of these people had a [...]
Unhappiness
Unhappiness = not feeling the way you want to feel. Happiness = feeling the way you want to feel. (yep, it’s that simple.)
How-to Articles to Write
Articles to write How to FeelHow to change your Anger into LoveHow to change your Sadness into JoyHow to change your Depression into Personal PowerHow to Feel ALIVE! The first step, in all of these, is to Allow Your Feelings!
Being Afraid
if you’re afraid of someone, you’re no much fun to be around. get some courage… even if it to be able to be around cool people. cool people are seldom afraid. if they are afraid, they’re not afraid to say so (hmmm.) but they’re not afraid much. or at least not constantly.
Personal Responsibility
Personal Responsibility is the KEY to Healthy Living! It’s the only way to fly, on your own wings. Personal Responsibility is sometimes about: being willing to hear stuff you don’t want to hear. It’s about being willing to feel things you don’t want to feel iIt’s about being willing to say stuff you don’t want [...]
Real boys do cry!
"Boys do cry – but they find it much harder than girls to talk about their feelings or seek help when they are distressed, new research shows." Read this article about a study done on boys, 10-14, and how they learn to NOT express themselves. They found that 47 per cent said they never talked [...]
I’ll Stand by You
I’ll Stand by You Oh.Why you look so sad?the tears are in your eyescome on and come to me, now don’t be ashamed to crylet me see you through’cause I’ve seen the dark side, too. when the night falls on youdon’t know what to donothing you’d confesscan make me love you less. I’ll stand by [...]
Reflections
Do what Needs to be donenot just what you Feel like doing. Set boundaries and goals and Focus. FOCUS! It’s not funnyand it’s not always fun do it anyway. Make a plan and work the plan. This has been an awesome time for my wife PKP and I to just Be.A time to heal, I [...]
Quotes on Anger2
"Any person capable of angering you becomes your master; he can anger you only when you permit yourself to be disturbed by him." *Epictetus {50-138 Phrygian Philosopher} "At the core of all anger is a need that is not being fulfilled." – Marshall B. Rosenberg "Anger is that powerful internal force that can blow out [...]
Quotes on Fear
"Everything you want is waiting on the other side of fear." – Sarah Chappell, M.A. "If you let your fear of consequence prevent you from following your deepest instinct, your life will be safe, expedient and thin." – Katharine Butler Hathaway {American Author} "COURAGE is resistance to fear, mastery of fear – not absence of [...]
Handling Emotions
A Teaching Guide: Handling Emotions This site tries to teach teens how to deal with their emotions, peer pressures, respecting others, etc. They have a dozen or so videos, discussion materials and more. Their suggestions for handling your emotions:• Be honest with yourself. • Talk to somebody about your feelings. • Don’t ignore your emotions, [...]
Quotes on Lack
"Money cannot fill an empty soul." – Julia Cameron & Mark Bryan "Both abundance and lack exist simultaneously in our lives, as parallel realities. It is always our conscious choice which secret garden we will tend… when we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but are grateful for the abundance [...]
eBook on Depression
Here’s an eBook on the "7 Steps to a Depression Free Life – A Self-Help Guide". Gillian says: "I’ve had years when I had no serious episodes and times when I’ve spent weeks on end unable to find a reason to get out of bed. But now my struggle with depression is over. I’ve broken [...]
Emotional Resources
Wow. Here’s a very elaborate site (actually 5 related sites!) devoted to describing, defining, explaining, listing, and recovering from so many forms of feelings and emotions. Called "Emotional Feelings". All written by 1 person — Kathleen. It starts: Welcome… i’m glad to see you! if you’ve been searching for answers about who you are & [...]
Difference between Feelings & Emotions2
I ran a search on Google Answers for the difference between Feelings & Emotions, and got quite an assortment of interesting answers… from doctors, therapists, philosophers, columnists and others. example:“Emotions are cross cultural – the same all over the world. Feelings are a subset of all of our mind-body states (disappointment, hunger, hope, etc. There [...]
Dealing with Grief3
Grief and the holidays: Coping on your own terms "For most people, the holidays are a time of joy and celebration with family and friends. But for those who’ve experienced the loss of a loved one, it can be a lonely and depressing time." Read this informative article from the Mayo Clinic – good, practical [...]
Men and Tears
"…a University of Warwick historian researching the expression of male emotion through tears reveals there is a long history of men and crying, and that tears were for centuries a class issue. New research reveals that while the phenomenon of crying men is hardly new, for tears to be acceptable in Early Modern England they [...]
Dealing with Grief2
I was just directed to a wonderful site for those dealing with grief and loss. "Offering help, hope and healing."http://www.griefjourney.com/ Specifically, here’s a movie that might bring some comfort over the holiday season.http://www.griefjourney.com/holidays_h.htm Check it out. "While we must never minimize the pain and the difficulty of grief, we need to hold on to hope [...]
Life Itself – poem
"The most visible creators are those artists whose medium is life itself.The ones who express the inexpressible – without brush, hammer, clay, or guitar.They neither paint nor sculpt.Their medium is simply being.Whatever their presence touches has increased life.They see, but don’t have to draw…Because they are the artists of being alive." J. Stone
Steps to Feeling Happy
The 4 Steps to Creating Happiness — K.A.E.R. Know – Figure out what you’re actually feeling, put a name and a face to each of your Feelings. Be able to Identify them quickly and accurately. Accept – Allow your body to feel what it feels, know what it knows, learn what it needs to learn. [...]
Perfection!
Game Reports• Sunday, Dec. 5: Kings 119, Celtics 105• Friday, Dec. 3: Kings 113, Pacers 87• Wednesday, Dec. 1: Kings 94, Hornets 81• Tuesday, Nov. 30: Kings 98, Grizzlies 93 (just beautiful!) more…• Friday, Nov. 26: Kings 109, Lakers 106• Tuesday, Nov. 23: Kings 102, Rockets 96• Sunday, Nov. 21: Kings 88, Bucks 79• Friday, [...]
Feelings re: Job Loss
8 Strategies for Bouncing Back from Job Loss Here’s a good article on dealing with your feelings after losing your job. Outline Do nothing. Resist the temptation to call business associates or contact search firms. Deal with your emotions. Don’t imagine you can hide your feelings. Don’t think your emotions will go away if you [...]
Clueless
"It’s surprising how many persons go through life without ever recognizing that their feelings toward other people are largely determined by their feelings toward themselves, and if you’re not comfortable within yourself, you can’t be comfortable with others." – Sydney J. Harris
Study on Emotions
Study tracks people’s daily emotions "It found that in general, people in the group woke up a little grumpy but soon entered a state of mild pleasure that increased by degrees through the day, punctuated by occasional bouts of anxiety, frustration and anger. Predictably, the researchers found that commuting to work, housework and facing a [...]
Quotes on Success
"Too often, people focus only on results. But getting results without learning something or without having fun is incomplete. So is having fun without getting the results, or having fun without learning something new to help and empower you in the future. Accomplishment is all three: the Result, Personal Growth and having Fun!" – Peter [...]
Go for a Walk
The other day, I went for a walk with my daughter. It was wonderful. go for a walk.you don’t have to "start walking" (and start ‘shoulding’ on yourself) Just go for a walk. just one.if you like it, you might decide to go again.
How do you react to stress?
A carrot, an egg and a cup of coffee… A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed [...]
Quote from Mother Theresa
Final Analysis People are often unreasonable,illogical, and self-centered;Forgive them anyway. If you are kind,People may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;Be kind anyway. If you are successful,You will win some false friends and some true enemies;Succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank,People may cheat you;Be honest and frank anyway. What you spend years building,Someone [...]
Dealing with Anger2
Here’s yet another on Anger: – Healthy ways to deal with Anger Take a time-out. Own your anger. Look at what you could change. Resolve your anger in a healthy way. – Unhealthy ways to deal with Anger. and a rating system for each.
Dealing with Anger
Here’s a 2 part-er re: Dealing with Anger from EQ Coach, Susan Dunn: Understanding AngerWhere it comes fromCan We Ignore it?Can we Accept it?Let It PassUse it (Positively)You manage it, or it manages you read on…Part 1Part 2
Teens deal with feelings toward death
Here’s an Excellent article about how teens deal with their Feelings around death, especially that of a friend / classmate. example:"Teens have alternative ways to express themselves," said Kendall Palladino, director of the bereavement and spiritual services program for the Regional Hospice of Western Connecticut. "Adolescents attempt to do something in different ways, less structured" [...]
Stress during the Holidays
Here’s some good practical advice for handling stress, and your Feelings, during the Holidays! "Make room for feelings – all of them, not just the joy and cheer we think we’re supposed to be feeling. The holidays trigger emotions, and they are bound to arise in adults as well as children. Factor in any major [...]
Love Notes
(unsolicited love notes during New Directions Workshop, Nov. 2004 – Wow, so nice!) Matt-I never stop being amazed. This process is so good. I’m grateful for your love of and determination to this class, and your own personal progress.Love, Shauna — Matt-Thanks for hard-assing me! This class sooo much fun!L.J. — Matt-It was great being [...]
Dealing with Grief
Excellent article on Grief. Stages, stories, hope. Their points? If it’s you, GET SUPPORT! If not — BE THERE AND LISTEN — People need to Talk about it!
Perfection
The right volume for some music is such that I can sing as Loud as I can/want to, and I still not hear myself!
What does Love mean to you?
Here’s a cool article written by a 16-year-old high schooler. Thomas Pardee describes a day which "touched me on a personal level and made me think…" "We learned that people are very much like icebergs; there is the tip, the 10 percent of who we really are that we display for everyone else to see, [...]
Shoulds vs. Rules
I have found that we often confuse Shoulds for Rules. Values, Norms, Mores, Socially-acceptable, politically correct behaviour – they’re all Shoulds. I enjoy changing them. for example, I’m at an AM/PM pumping gas into the motor home. I’m in my socks. Some people would be agast at this, but the pavement was clean and I [...]
A short Personality Test
I got this in an email today, answered it honestly and found the interpretations to be both interesting and accurate. Since it’s the day after Thanksgiving, I noticed the test helped me take stock in what and who was most important in my life. (I changed the rules slightly, as I tend to do.) You’ll [...]
Get a Life
"How to Get and Keep a Life."practical career and life suggestions that can really help you Take Control. Full story.
Feelings Toward Yourself
"It’s surprising how many persons go through life without ever recognizing that their feelings toward other people are largely determined by their feelings toward themselves, and if you’re not comfortable within yourself, you can’t be comfortable with others." – Sydney J. Harris
Quotes on Control
"As long as we are controlling things, the universe can’t." – Dave McPhail, New Directions
TCOYF: with Cancer
Here’s a note and additional info about Taking control of your feelings when Cancer is in the picture. "We would all like to have control over our health, and our future. Being told that you have cancer can make you feel fear, panic, uncertainty and despair, and you might feel that you have lost control [...]
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCEIn Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman argues that the conventional view of human intelligence is far too narrow in that it does not take into account an aspect of our lives which plays an important role in the success or failure of just about everything we do. Goleman describes the five major components of emotional [...]
Self-Science Emotional Skills Curriculum
Self-Science is a curriculum and a process for teaching social and emotional skills. The curriculum pursues 10 goals. Goal 1: Legitimizing Self-Knowledge as Subject Matter Goal 2: Developing a Trusting Attitude Toward the Class and others Goal 3: Becoming More Aware of Multiple Feelings Goal 4: Developing Communication Skills for Affective States Goal 5: Disclosing [...]
Emotional Presence vs. Emotional Depth
Here’s a great article on Emotional Intelligence and how Emotional Presence and Emotional Depth differ. Read on, as they are both important EQ tools… Emotional depth is the ability to handle complex feelings — to "sit in the middle of the fire and not shrink back." vs. Emotional presence is the ability to authentically show [...]
Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence (EQ) is the ability to build people up, bring them together, and motivate them to do their best. And that’s why study after study has ranked EQ atop the core competencies that determine a company’s success. Brains Alone Don’t Make a Leader.
Maintaining Overall Health
"Feeling connected to yourself and others, having a sense of purpose in life, feeling hopeful, being loved and to love, all help you create the life you want for yourself and are the key ingredients for maintaining overall health." Essi Systems
Everything Emotional
"HOW TO ACHIEVE EMOTIONAL CONTROL"By Mark Lindsay Lots Re: Emotions, including how the brain works, Stupidity, Automatic Thoughts, Improving Diet and more… He also discusses the Event –> Interpretation –> Emotion –> Action process of Congnitive Therapy (much like Doc’s Event -> Meaning -> Feeling -> Behaviour model) and check this…a San Francisco-based, stress-research consulting [...]
Quotes on Conformity
"I think the reward for conformity is that everyone likes you except yourself." – Rita Mae Brown "Once in a while it really hits people that they don’t have to experience the world in the way they have been told to." – Alan Keightley "To exist is to change, to change is to mature, to [...]
A Machine to help your Feelings!
Imagine this…You have an emotional "issue" that’s bugged you your whole life (like abandonment, or being rejected, or dreading a punishment). You sit down, get into a nice calm place, get hooked up to a machine and Wham — the next thing you know, you’re all "Fixed". That feeling you’ve been carrying your whole life [...]
Essential to Recovery
Mary Ellen Copeland in The Mental Health American, Fall 2000 says: "Taking back control of your life by making your own decisions and your own choices is essential to recovery. It will help you to feel better about yourself and may even help you to relieve some of the symptoms that have been troubling to [...]
Be who you are!
"Be who you are and say what you feel because… those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind." – Dr. Seuss
Emotional Intelligence at Work
Here’s a "framework" (list of skills) involved for Emotional Intelligence at Work. It’s a great list of competencies — rate yourself! http://www.eiconsortium.org/research/emotional_competence_framework.htm
Wanna Share?
My chosen job is to go out into the world, figure out how to do this Life thing, and come back and report it to you. If I’m not teaching or writing, I’m watching, and listening, and learning. If I was in formal school, I couldn’t spend any more time on my classes and homework [...]
I just got fired — Yahoo!
I JUST GOT FIRED as a Coach, and I am SOOOOO EXCITED ABOUT IT!!! Why? My CLIENT DOESN’T NEED ME ANYMORE!!! YAHOO!!!!! I have Succeeded, and She has Succeeded! We both won. We did it. Now, she can say "I Feel." and better yet, "I FEEL [...]
Courage
"COURAGE is resistance to fear, MASTERY of fear — not absence of fear." – Mark Twain (1835 – 1910)
TCOYF&E
Get a Grip! – Taking Control of your Feelings & Emotions (rough outline) Chapter 1 "Once upon a time…" BIG Picture about how we develop, behave, and feel current state of affairs what’s possible. "Imagine being able to…" Chapter 2 How it works. Blank slate theory. Feelings are Learned, etc. Karen’s Childhood: How her Mom [...]
Quotes on Faith
"The most valuable things in life are not measured in monetary terms. The really important things are not houses and lands, stocks and bonds, automobiles and real estate, but friendships, trust, confidence, empathy, mercy, love and faith." – Bertrand Russell, 1872-1970, British Philosopher "Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done [...]
MattPerelstein.com
Hi. I just posted www.MattPerelstein.com and wanted to share it with you. I used that site for years for testing purposes, but I finally made it about yours truly. Not braggin’, just sayin’. go see, and tell me what you think. More to follow… – Matt
Read on…
Here’s a HUGE selection of Articles, eBooks, eCourses, etc. mostly dealing with emotions, personal growth and Harmony. Check it out…
Quotes on Anger
"Anger is that powerful internal force that can blow out the light of reason." – Ralph Waldo Emerson How does anger typically surface in your life? We usually get angry at someone, don’t we? We judge that someone has done something wrong and we want them to be punished. In truth, the actions of others [...]
A Real Man/Woman
A real man knows a real womanwhen she sees her. A real woman knows a real manain’t fraid to please her. A real man just can’t deny a woman’s worth. You will loseif you choosenot to put her first. – Alicia Keys "A Woman’s Worth" We MUST learn how to treat each other. We can [...]
Untapped Spiritual Powers
The Sheepish Lion (A parable)Once there was a great lioness who went hunting with her new born cub. It happened that while attacking and chasing a flock of sheep, the she-lion made a wrong move, fell off a cliff and died. The cub was left in the midst of the sheep and grew up with [...]
Taking Control of Your Fear
“The Sedona Method is a unique program for making positive changes in your life. As you learn this simple process of releasing the underlying emotions that rob you of abundance and joy, your fear and anxiety will gently slip away…. You’ll be shocked by how quickly your life changes!” – Cheryl Richardson, New York Times [...]
Connections
Connections are the Key The only way to find true Happiness is in your connections with others. It may be only 1 person, or even a pet. But imagine having NO Connections with any living creature… Yikes. Connections = Relationships “Every dollar you’ve ever made. And every dollar you ever will make. Is based on [...]
Know Yourself 3
If you know what you feel, you’ll know who you are. If you know what you feel, you’ll know where to go. If you know what you feel, you’ll know who you are Not. If you know what you feel, you’ll just know. – Matt
Letting it all hang out!
One of the most intense things you can do with your body, while staying in one place, is Head-Banger Dancing… ahhhhhhahahhhhahahahhhahahahahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy You know you’re right!!!!!!!!You know you’re right!!!!!!!!You know you’re right!!!!!!!!You know you’re right!!!!!!!! Nirvana Teens have found this way to let it all hang out!we can learn from them.take kids/people to a place [...]
2 Types of Learning
Information vs. Transformational Learning I just learned an important distinction between 2 main schools of learning… Information Learning is what we do in ‘regular’ schools… the teacher talks, students listen. Students are tested and attempt to regurgitate exactly what the teacher told them. Transformational Learning is where you are Actively involved in the learning process. [...]
Quotes on Guilt
Guilt “When guilt rears its ugly head confront it, discuss it and let it go. The past is over. It is time to ask what can we do right, not what did we do wrong. Forgive yourself and move on.” –Bernie S. Siegel “I have made it a rule of my life never to regret [...]
Let’s spread the word!
"Each one, teach one. Each one, reach one. Until all are taught." – Mark Victor Hansen
Cocky & Funny2
I got this from a How to Get a Date site… which means it’s their basic Law of Attraction. The formula is: COCKY+FUNNY Cocky alone is not attractive. Arrogance repels people like bad breath. But a FUNNY arrogance… Ahhh, that’s the stuff that miracles are made of. from http://www.datingdummies.com/archive/article_9-17.htm
Love you with all my heart
“Love you forever, and forever. Love you with all my heart. Love you when we’re together. Love you when we’re apart. Make it easy to be near you. and the things you do endear you to me. – Alison Krauss
How would you handle this situation?
I’m sitting in the morning daylight outside a grocery store, at a stone table, with my laptop on the table in front of me. I’m fighting to read my screen in the glare of the early morning sun. The good people of Napa, CA are visiting the grocery store for their provisions for a Sunday. [...]
Advanced Healing
Agree – with an underlying belief. Become aware of it and decide it is True ex: “My Grandma’s love was the purest love I’ve ever felt.” Reject – a belief / decide it is false ex: “No one will ever love me.” Transcend – it doesn’t matter if the old belief is true or false. [...]
My Greatest Gift
I believe the greatest gift I would like right now, personally, would be the ability to hear what people think or want! It would be truly fascinating. My greatest joy is in Understanding people. Where they are How they got there. Their thought processes. Their underlying beliefs and motivations. What to do to help them [...]
GET CONTROL!
Control Your Feelings, Control Your LIFE!
Check it Out!
The New Directions weekend is a real life-changer (and a darned good deal, too). For $299, you get the weekend, Doc’s awesome book “Taking Control of Your Life”, a long weekend of incredibly intensive growth, a cool celebration graduation and after-class follow-up (by yours truly)– plus, once a graduate, always a friend so coming back [...]
More Quotes…
“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and then go do it. The world needs people who have come alive.” – Harold Thurman Whitman “He who knows others is learned. He who knows himself is wise.” – Lao Tse “Less Crazy, More Sane. Less Different, More Same. More [...]
Self-Centered vs. Me-Centered
Self-Centered vs. Me-Centered I know myself I know that the best way to take care of myself, emotionally, is to be there for others to help people be happy, and learn, and grow. We, us, together FREE to be who we are, Safe, Open, loving, content, free, joy, laughter, connection, healing, growth, heaven If I’m [...]
Collecting vs. Accumulating
There’s a difference between Collecting, with heart – quality, meaning, clean, nice, loving, pride, value, passion, slow, careful, precious and Accumulating – hoarding, grabbing, bogarting, taking, selfish, me-centered.
How Journaling Keeps You Healthy
Studies show writing about traumatic events helps you recover and move on. Here’s how. When James W. Pennebaker, M.D., faced a stressful time in his marriage, he began journaling. “There are dozens of features to a relationship,” he says. “Journaling helps to slow things down and put them in perspective.” Journaling helped him understand what [...]
Controlling Life Isn’t the Answer, It’s the Problem!
Here’s a cool concept: Self-Coaching. Dr. Luciani writes some powerful articles, such as: – Are You a Prisoner of Control? – Controlling Life Isn’t the Answer, It’s the Problem! – How to Stop Anxiety and Depression – Choosing the Life You Want … and more. Read on…
Our basic right to be a happy person
“It is our basic right to be a happy person, happy family, and eventually a happy world. That should be our goal.” – Dalai Lama
Being “Grown Up”
I just realized that there are different KINDS of Responsible, Mature, “Grown-up” Adults… One kind is a worried, controlling, non-trusting, shut-down, non-feeling, yucky kind of adult. Another is an aware, compassionate, understanding, grounded, happy, life-enhancing, hopeful, joyous kind of adult. Both can be Responsible. Both can be Mature. Both can be “Grown up”. Which are [...]
ND on the Air
How about we make the NDW weekend workshop into a show on TV. A show where people watch us processing people! Taking them thru the Statement. Helping them Break-thru their Feelings! We’ll film a regular class, but we’ll focus on a couple of people each episode. Apply some get 15-minute phone interview with Matt if [...]
“Constructively deal with my life issues”
“Since taking the workshop I have been able to really take a look at myself and understand how certain events that happened to me in my childhood. adolescent and adulthood years thwarted my growth as a mother, wife, and friend. Now I have learned and am still learning how to constructively deal with my life [...]
“What makes them tick”
“It’s the best seminar of its type that I’ve ever taken in 40 years of working on myself. I highly recommend this introspective course to anyone who really wants to understand what makes them tick.” – Rev. Don D.
“After I got angry I felt better.”
Hi Matt, I’m doing great, actually. The first few days after the program I was a little shaky. I was sad because the safety and security of the workshop was over. But within a few days I began reading Doc’s book and reinforcing the new skills I have learned. I’m working on my anger journal [...]
Guilt is Optional!
There’s one wonderful feature to Guilt… It’s 100% OPTIONAL. You choose to feel bad about something or NOT. Once you get started, it’s sometimes hard to stop. But the reality is, that GUILT IS OPTIONAL! (you can take it or leave it)
Reconnecting to the Precious
““What is the quest you are on? How are you searching for meaning in your individual existence? Or, to reformulate this down to a more simple expression—What makes you get up in the morning?” Marc Gafni, Soul Prints: Your Path to Fulfillment Sometimes, we just need to take time out to re-connect. While wandering on [...]
LEARN!
Learn to Love again. Learn to Laugh again. Learn to Feel again. Take Control of your Feelings & Emotions at the New Directions Weekend Workshop! http://www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com
It’s Easier with a Coach!
You may be able to reach your personal and/or business Goals by yourself. You may be able to figure it out alone. But with a Coach, it’s a SLAM DUNK! You gotta let them (me) push you a bit, if you truly want to get THROUGH your limitations, pitfalls, negative beliefs and weaknesses. A coach [...]
Victims v. Victors
Are you a Victim or a Victor?!? Victims Blame ————— Victors Learn “Ultimately, the victors are the ones who figure out what went wrong and re-arrange their life so that it never happens again. “You already possess an amazing ability to ‘know’ (read: Feel) which direction to go. You simply need to learn how to [...]
Add Spice to your Life!
Feelings add SPICE to your Life: – Color – Texture – Depth – Meaning – Value – Friendship – Love – Happiness – Joy – Compassion – Understanding – Awareness – Wisdom – More Joy! – More staying up late. – More running and skipping. – More laughter and Lightness!
Best thing in the World
The BEST thing in the world, Is LOVE. The WORST thing in the world, Is WAR.
Are You Mentor Material?
Are You Mentor Material? – by Patti Sarr, teacher, writer, thinker Over the years, I have come to realize that having a great mentor can truly have a positive impact on my life—not only as a busy mom and career woman, but as an individual seeking to expand emotionally and spiritually. Personally, many of the [...]
Trust
You gotta trust SOMEBODY! You just gotta have at least 1 place in the world where you feel completely Safe, and open to being your very self. – Matt
I’ve Changed!
Since I’ve been “in touch” with my Feelings: I’m more grounded, less frantic. More excited, less afraid. I’m more aware, less in the dark. More smart, less naïve. More calm, less scattered. Less upset, more uplifting. Less scattered, more flattered. Less criticism, more encouragement. Less pain, more Joy. Less annoyed, more ALIVE!!
Quotes on Forgiveness
“To get to forgiveness, we first have to work through the painful experiences that require it.” – Christiane Northrup “We must let ourselves feel all the painful destruction we want to forgive rather than swallow it in denial. If we do not face it, we cannot forgive it.” – Kenneth McNoll Remember, Acceptance does not [...]
The inexpressible comfort of feeling Safe
“Oh the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are — chaff and grain together — certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with the breath [...]
Desiderata
Desiderata Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive [...]
Self-Processing Steps
Self-Processing Steps 1. Allow the Crying. 2. FEEL what it’s based on. 3. Find the Belief that is Behind the feeling. 4. See if you Agree with it. 5. If so, keep it and just continue crying until done. 6. If it’s not a solid Belief yet, try to Let it go, give it no [...]
Feeling Your Feelings
Guess what? – – Avoiding your Feelings, doesn’t work! – – – Denying your Feelings, doesn’t work! – – – – Drinking away your Feelings, doesn’t work! The only thing that REALLY WORKS, is FEELING YOUR FEELINGS!
Fear is an Experiential Thing
Fear must be dealt with Experiencially. You can talk about it all day long, but it won’t change a thing until you let yourself Feel it!
Get Started…
Do yourself a favor and at least TRY, no Get Started, to resolve stuff from your past. Take a good, honest, feeling-filled look into your past and see what you find there. “Be not the slave of your own past – plunge into the sublime seas, dive deep and swim far – so you shall [...]
What’s Wrapped Around Your Heart?
How do you keep your past relationships wrapped around your heart? Make a list of old loves, what was cool about them (what attracted you to them), what happened (in a word or two), what you learned from that experience and then see how you feel toward each one now. Is there any residual hurt, [...]
The World is Ready
I believe the world is ready to FEEL. I think folks are hurtin’, and Angry, and disappointed, and STRESSED, and Depressed. I believe the world is ready to change… for the better. I believe that teaching the world how to FEEL will make a simple, yet incredibly PROFOUND difference on our daily lives. The lessons [...]
From Bleeding to Healing
If you’re really Angry and hurt, you gotta get that OUT of your SYSTEM. Somehow. Trust me, it’s coming out anyway… but probably not in ways that work for you, or those around you. Like blasting your family or folks at work, or even your friends. Guys become a-holes, women become b_’s You’re unhappy. You’re [...]
Let’s Join Forces!
Hire me to stand beside you To support you To encourage you To boost you up and cheer for you! To stand beside you when you weep. To be that loving voice you need now and then. Feeling stuck? Not reaching your potential>? Repeating unsuccessful patterns? Not living the life you want to live? As [...]
Know Yourself2
“He who knows others is learned. He who knows himself is wise.” – Lao Tse
My wonderful Ride!
… newly washed in the morning sunup. Tho’ she’s been taking a beating lately, she’s still a Fine-looking car that I am most proud to own! … and with over 68,000 of many tough miles, she purrs like a kitten… with the SuperCharger, she’s sounds reeeeaaall nice. Thanks for helping remind me to appreciate what [...]
“He who angers you controls you.”
On the highway yesterday I saw a sign on the front yard of a church which read: “He who angers you controls you.” Thought I’d pass that along… – Kimberly Parry, coach
2 Different Kinds of Guilt
Punishing Guilt vs. Productive Guilt There are 2 types of Guilt. One is a powerful, punishing, shame-on-you Guilt. It’s designed to make you feel: – Bad – Down – Less than – Stupid – Shameful – etc. The other kind of Guilt is an equally powerful, what I call “Productive Guilt”. This is the kind [...]
Strive to be so strong…
“Strive to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. To be too wise for worry, too tolerant for hate, and too courageous to be fearful. In short, be Happy.” – Unknown Source
The 4 D’s of Spiritual Growth
Reflect on this pathway for meaningful growth: DISCIPLINE – To create change in our lives, we need to consistently focus on what we want. DETACHMENT – Practice the art of detached observation. Let go of automatic defenses and patterns. DISCERNMENT – Seek to discern the lower from the higher. What is self-serving and what is [...]
Great info on Feelings
Here’s some great info on Feelings from Coping.org. Includes a long list of words to Describe what you are feeling. – remember, Identification is the first step toward Taking Control! – Matt
Spiritual Healing
Yoga Gives Freedom From Emotional Reactiveness “By the practice of yoga man frees himself from the reactions of likes and dislikes by filling his heart with unchanging ecstatic divine joy. When you have mastery of your feelings you abide in your true state. The true state of the Self, the soul, is bliss, wisdom, love, [...]
Feelings are God’s built-in alarm system
Feelings are God’s built-in alarm system for our thoughts. If you are feeling an emotion other than joy, our natural inheritance, check the thoughts you are having at that moment. Every thought, and I mean every one, that does not put you in a joyful state has as its underlying premise the belief that you [...]
Ya Know?
I know it to be true because … well … I just know it to be true. You don’t know until you know. You don’t even know you can know until you know. It’s fun to know. … and most rewarding. ya know?
Benefits to Feeling
know who you are understand why you do what you do understand people better connect with people better get along better at work enjoy life more more in love more in touch more power more joy more laughter more Freedom lighter feeling braver less controlled, and controlling less angry less depressed more alive less blaming [...]
The Down Side to Feelings
Feelings HURT so much, sometimes Anger is a bitch, sometimes Reality sucks, sometimes feel pain deeper personal responsibility is a real drag sometimes know exactly who you’re angry at, and why you might want to be around people even more there are some things you won’t want to know out of comfort zone more often [...]
The Last Great Adventure
“The last great adventure… the journey inward.” – MCP, 2002
Mother Earth
Oh, you of wounded spirit, I offer you a place to rest; Walk among my mountains, and climb to eagle’s nest. Come swim my oceans, and feel my desert’s fire. Sit beside running waters to reclaim your heart’s desire. Seek my silent forests, or walk my open plains. Travel the deepest jungles ‘til you hear [...]
Be Not the Slave of your Own Past
Be not the slave of your own past. Plunge into the sublime seas, dive deep, and swim far… So you shall come back with self-respect, with renewed power, with an advanced experience, that shall explain and overlook the old. Ralph Waldo Emerson
Who’s in Control?
Some things we have almost NO control over. weather, laws, taxes, other people Some things we have almost TOTAL control over! our feelings, behaviors, attitudes, beliefs For best results, where do you think it would be the most productive areas to focus our efforts?
Know Yourself!
“He who knows others is learned. He who knows himself is wise.” – Lao Tse
Don’t feel ‘Sorry’ for people!
Don’t feel SORRY for people, feel SAD for them, instead. “Sorry” means you believe they are Powerless, and in a way, could put them ‘beneath you’. It also denies your emotions. Feeling ‘Sad’ for people puts you as Equals. It shows compassion, acceptance, feeling, connection. You can fully experience WITH the other person, and you [...]
Passion
Anger = Passion. Must be felt BIG, expressed BIG.
Emotional Pain is not Terminal
“I once believed that emotional pain was terminal. Yet I found the opposite to be true. NOT dealing with my emotions almost killed me.” – Karen M.
More and Less
More Power. Less Blame. Less Crazy, More Sane. Less Different, More Same. More Joy, Less Pain. – mcp
Violence = Powerlessness
“I don’t feel verbally angry anymore.” “I don’t feel violently angry anymore.” – Jayne D. (after attending the New Directions Workshop a few times. “All violence comes from feelings of Powerlessness.” – Doc Downing, PhD, LMFT, MSW
Being “Right”
Would you rather be Right or Close? If you have to be Right, you will probably also be Alone. Winner takes nothing.
Covering Up
Men tend to cover Tears with Anger. Women tend to cover Anger with Tears. – mcp
Friend to Friend Process
Here’s one process for clearing an emotional blockage about a specific event. Answer these Questions: 1. What do you WANT for you? (NO-ONE ELSE, JUST YOU!) 2. What are you FEELING(identify the emotion that goes with) 3. What are you DOING (to get what you want)? 4. What do you NEED to do about it? [...]
What lights me up
- Seeing people “break-through” from limiting beliefs to truly FEELING their Unlimited Personal Power! – Laughing and connecting with my wife, my kids and my grandkids (actually, and my parents, my sisters, my brother, my friends, my students, etc. etc)… I just love to connect, and I love to Laugh! There are a lot of [...]
Personal Power article
Great blog post on using your Personal Power… what limits you (fears) vs. what motivates you (passions). What lights you up? vs. What shuts you up? Mitch also writes: Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Read article by Mitch Meyerson, coach and therapist
Love Unites
“Beliefs separate. Love unites.” – Paul Ferrini
I Love
“I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.. “ I contend that we do EVERYTHING out of “selfishness”. Everything. Giving, Loving, Empathizing, the whole works. Why? ’cause it makes US feel good. If we are in touch with our feelings, we can Love [...]
Boundaries
“I love my boundaries… they set me free!” Emotional “Boundaries” are a wonderful thing! They are your Limits of what you are willing to put up with and what you are willing to take from others. They are your Values, your Beliefs, your Rules, your Guidelines. And, HOW do you keep those all-important Boundaries? 2 [...]
Collaboration 101
I just listened in to a wonderful call with Micheal Port on Collaboration and Thinking BIG. If anyone out there is interested in working together on BIGger projects (websites, Ebooks, workshops, etc), I’m all ears. Have some collaborative projects going now, but there’s SO much to be done, let’s get together and “Git R Done”! [...]
Difference between Feelings & Emotions
What’s the Dif? Dictionary Def’s Feelings feel•ing (lots of def’s, but here are a few…) 1. The ability to express strong emotion, especially in performance • Play the piece again with more feeling. 2. Something felt emotionally • a perceived emotion 3. Ability to express emotion • the capacity to experience emotion etc. Emotion e•mo•tion 1. [...]
Suppressing Emotions Increases Anger
Study Shows That, for Women, Suppressing Emotions Increases Anger Women who hold back feelings of anger may end up more irate in the long run. According to new research, women experience a rebound effect when they suppress angry emotions, which can result in greater feelings of fury. entire article… (Matt’s note: the more you hold [...]
Teaching EQ to Kids
Here’s a cool site that teaches EQ (Emotional Quotient, or Emotional Intelligence) to kids. Nicely done, with lots of good info. Self-Science.com
A Therapist’s Perspective
One of the great questions of all time is the question, “What is the proper way to integrate and deal with our feelings and emotions?” A christian therapist’s view. Read on…
About Matt Perelstein
Matt Perelstein combines a unique blend of “attitude, with heart”. He’s all about getting results, making your life look, and more importantly Feel, the way you want it to. It’s a tricky balance between selfishness and selflessness (taking vs. giving), but it can be done… and it works. If you can truly learn to “take [...]
Knowledge is Power
The poor man said: “Knowledge is power,” And he read another book. The rich man said: ”Power is what you do with knowledge,” And he took action.
Expressing vs. Whining
What’s the difference between Complaining or Expressing (which can be very healthy) and Whining, Bitchin’ and Moanin’ (yuck-o)? Powerlessness! When people talk about how bad the world is, we listen empathetically. but when they feel that “There ain’t nothing I can do about it.” there’s no room to help them. When people see the world [...]
Dream Big
If there were ever a time to dare to make a difference, to do something really worth doing, that time is NOW. Not for any grand cause, necessarily — but for something that tugs at your heart, something that’s your aspiration, something that’s your dream. You owe it to yourself to make your days here [...]
Maintaining Balance – Full Tanks and Empty Tanks
Our family has 2 cars, a Pontiac Grand Prix (which I love – wider IS better!) and a motorhome (1998 30’ Fleetwood Bounder – which we spend a LOT of time in and we’ve put over 60,000 miles on). Driving a motorhome that much brings with it special considerations – like parking, and gas consumption, [...]
Open Up
“Let my love open the door, to your Heart” – Pete Townsend
I am angry…
Q: What does the Bible say about anger? (excerpt) “Answer: Handling anger is an important topic. One experienced counselor stated that 50% of the people who came in for counseling had problems with dealing with their anger. Anger can shatter communication and tear apart relationships and ruins both the joy and health of many. And [...]
I am afraid…
We say: “I am afraid.” But the Bible says: God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. – Timothy 1:7 http://www.carm.org/kjv/2Tim/2Tim_1.htm
Mental Illness Widespread
GLOBAL STUDY FINDS MENTAL ILLNESS WIDESPREAD Mental illnesses are common and under-treated in many developed and developing countries, with the highest rate found in the United States (26.4 of people!), according to a study. The most common ailments everywhere except Ukraine were anxiety disorders, which include panic attacks, phobias and post-traumatic stress disorder. (Wow. All [...]
Controlling your Heart
Wouldn’t you love to have control over your Heart? Wouldn’t it be wonderful to Choose who you love, and how much, and when? Wouldn’t it be awesome to be able to Open up when it’s safe and feels good, and to Close up when things aren’t going well? What an amazing skill, to be able [...]
Powerless –> Powerful
Continuum from Powerless to Powerful. Panic Terrified Afraid Nervous – – - AWARE, CALM & STRONG – – – On Guard Tense Fired Up On the Attack Balistic!
Why We Do What We Do — 2 perspectives
At the MillionaireMind workshops, to explain to people Harv Eker teaches TFAR. Thoughts —> Feelings – – -> Actions – – -> Results We teach EMFB: Event – – -> Meaning – – -> Feeling – – -> Behavior both are correct. Ours goes back to an identifiable event, or multiple events, that people experience, [...]
Before and After
"How it has become" (before ND) forever ambiguousnever tryingnowhere flyingdeath becoming time spyinglove defyingcaught in a trapin a recursive miserywithout a way out remembering the pastliving in a memoryforegoing the futurefor moments that don’t last finding a song to passmaybe a drink to lastwithout a hope or desiretrying to be an animalfighting care and…fuck it [...]
Life is not a journey to the grave
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming — “Whoa–What a Ride!!”
Ok and not Ok
Feelings expressed for the following reasons are fine: – Clarity – Release – Acceptance – Remove Judgments – Go for deeper feelings (ex: express anger to get to the hurt underneath) not Ok – whining – blaming (short-term is fine, in an effort to find your part in it all) – one-up-manship / competition – [...]
Blueprints of the Mind – money
Here’s a link to a website that offers help with our beliefs, values, and experiences surrounding Money and wealth. They say that people base their decisions about money on what we saw, heard and experienced as a child (right on!). They have a free audio seminar that’s excellent — check it out (the second half [...]
Don’t sin
“Don’t sin by letting anger gain control over you. Think about it overnight and remain silent.” Psalm 4:4, NLT more on what the Bible teaches us about Anger
Why workers need to have feelings
Article in BBC News: “Why workers need to have feelings” Link: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/3020953.stm Intro: “If you want to get ahead in business nowadays, you will need more than a head. Research shows you will need a heart as well.” some Text: “One company which has turned to emotional intelligence to test candidates is cosmetics giant L’Oreal. [...]
Cocky + Funny
I got this from a How to Get a Date site… which means it’s their basic Law of Attraction. The formula is: COCKY+FUNNY Cocky alone is not attractive. Arrogance repels people like bad breath. But a FUNNY arrogance… Ahhh, that’s the stuff that miracles are made of. from http://www.datingdummies.com/archive/article_9-17.htm
I’m all about…
… education and awareness and good and love and joy and closeness and openness and having tools and having choices and being cool and calm and happy and dealing with feelings and learning about emotions and togetherness and partnering and helping each other and finding ways to be helpful and abundance and prosperity and all [...]
Success is my only (mf’n) option
“Lose Yourself” – Eminem Soundtrack for the movie “8 Mile” video preview: http://www.empiremovies.com/movies/2002/8mile.shtml Complete Lyrics It’s a tough song and movie, but the message is Excellent. Many discount it because it is Rap (as Rap is bad, right? …not always) I may not agree with the concept that “opportunity comes once in a lifetime”, but [...]
Support Group – Online
Announcing – the New Directions / 2GetHelp Support Group Meeting – Mondays at 7:30pm (California time). … at the allotted time, just make sure your computer is online, click the link below and you’ll be in with the rest of us. http://groups.msn.com/2GetHelp/chat.msnw We’d love for you to join us. We will have lively, upbeat conversations. [...]
New Directions Breakthrough Workshop
Learn to Trust and Love again (even if you’ve been burned) Find Answers to: Why Do I Keep Doing This? Understand Yourself and Others Take control of your Anger, Guilt and Depression Heal your Past and Shape Your Future Make your life FEEL ALIVE! Yes, in one short weekend, for one low price, you can [...]
I am Responsible
I Am Responsible… —————— for my life for my happiness for my health for my relationships for my well-being for my self-discipline for my intensity for my aches and pains for my drive for my passion for my money for my experience for bringing a child into the world for people believing they can count [...]
Secret
Secret = Fact + Shame Remove the Shame, and the Secret becomes just another Fact. Nasty, painful stuff happens to everyone. That’s a fact. The Shame part is optional. And was probably given to you, by someone else. Give it back. Let it go. Release the shame. The things that happened to you as a [...]
Feelings are Life!
Feelings are Natural. Feelings are Normal. Feelings are Good. Feelings are our body’s way of communicating with us. Feelings are God-given tools, to help us understand who we are and how we fit into the world around us. Feelings are not debatable. secret tip: you’ll never lose an argument if you just stick to sharing [...]
Success Story
(true story, names are confidential) Jane grew up in a violently dysfunctional household. Her father was an alcoholic and her mother an enabler. She felt small and powerless and unimportant, as they raged and fought and ignored Jane and her sisters. Jane grew up, started dating and got married… but it didn’t go well. Although [...]
Being “In Touch”
Benefits of being “in touch” with your feelings – know who you are – understand why you do what you do – understand people better – connect with people better – get along better at work – enjoy life more – more in love – more in touch – more power – more joy – [...]
Guilt vs. Shame
Guilt = you did a bad thing Shame = you are a bad person Both are other people’s judgments of you. Carrying these judgments in your heart can be incredibly painful, or outright debilitating. Remedy: GIVE THEM BACK to where they came “No, I am NOT bad. That is YOUR judgment, not mine. I refuse [...]
We DO Have Choices about our Feelings!
I believe that one of the biggest, and most influential changes I have seen people make is this… We CAN control our Feelings and Emotions! I believe that most people have a belief that their Feelings and Emotions are some squishy, ungraspable thing that we just learn to live with. They come and go as [...]
Our Emotional Toolbox
When stuff is broken or tweaked or loose, we try to fix it, right? Well, first we notice that it needs attention. Once it gets irritating enough, we decide we are gonna do something about it. We go to our Physical Toolbox for the right tool to put the irritant back in working condition, so [...]
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New Directions Breakthrough Workshop “Let’s Get to the Heart of the Problem.”
Self-Processing
Ever thought “man, I hate it when I do that… I wonder why I do that?” Wouldn’t it be cool to figure out WHY we do what we do? To get to the root of our problems, issues and stupid behaviors? If we can get to the ROOT of ourselves, we can have amazing control [...]
Nice Thought
Here’s a thought that really gets me through my day… every problem I have and every frustration and every toleration and every irritation can be used to help people better understand themselves. If I feel and analyze and diagnose and research, all my issues… test them out in class… then sum them up into lessons [...]
Parents of teenagers and potential teenagers!
~ by Christine Helman ~ New Directions Graduate/Assistant How many of you have heard people lament about their teenagers and then turn to you while you rock your cherub faced two year old and say, “Just wait!! – You’re time is coming!” How many of you when faced with that little scenario reflected on your [...]
Control your Feelings, Control your Life.
Control your Feelings, Control your Life! The key is to learn about your FEELINGS “If you know what you feel, you’ll know who you are!” – Doc Downing, PhD, MSW, LMFT We teach a intensive weekend workshop called New Directions… been teaching it now for over 17 years. 4 states, hundreds of classes, thousands of [...]
“If it’s to be, it’s up to me.”
- Lament of those stuck in control, unable to obtain cooperation. However, it’s also TRUE. It’s called Personal Responsibility… and it really works! The happiest people I know are those who feel they have the power to make a difference in EVERY area of their lives. Not unrealistic, unachievable control, but the power to make [...]
Disarming the Critical Voices
Disarming the Critical Voices Carrol says “Some questions to ponder, what’s the purpose I listen to the critical voice? What’s the role of reinforcing? And how do I reinforce my critical voice?” … I like the question: How do I reinforce my critical voice? should create great insights into who we are and what we’ve [...]
Places I’ve been…
Places I’ve been… (in red below) States – many trips back and forth across the country. I’ve lived in 7 different states, been to schools in 6 and taught in 4. create your own visited states map Countries – most traveling was before high school, as my Dad was in the Air Force. Some as [...]
Those Critical Voices
Those Critical Voices Yes, those nasty little voices that get stuck in our heads … other people’s, family members, our judgments of ourselves. Some long past, some recent… some that nag at us, and won’t leave us alone. You know, stuff like “You can’t do that!” or “No Way!” or “Get away from me.” Sometimes [...]
Definitions
Life: Understand it, Own it, LOVE it! Feelings: Understand ‘em, Accept ‘em, Express ‘em appropriately Emotions: You take control of them, or they will take control of you New Directions: Know yourself, Understand people, Take control of your Life – Once a graduate, forever a friend.
Study on Forgiveness
Here’s a Study on Forgiveness. What a cool subject for a study! (the document is an adobe file .pdf) This is a Standford university meta-study of several forgiveness projects, in an effort to collect scientific data relating to emotional healing. We’ve always said that negative, unresolved emotions seem to actually take up space, somewhere in [...]
A collection of quotes about Improving Our Lives
A collection of quotes about how we can change lives… ————————————————————- “There is more to life than increasing its speed.” – Mahatma Gandhi ————————————————————- “We cannot always control what goes on Outside, but we can control what goes on Inside.” – Wayne Dyer ————————————————————- “Our ultimate freedom is the right and power to decide how [...]
Learn, Unlearn and Re-learn
“The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn.” – Alvin Toffler
Let’s Be Friends
Let’s Be Friends – by MCP I don’t need you to “make” it nice for me. I am not depending on you for entertainment or love or validation. I can create those feelings when I need them. I need you to “keep” it nice with me. I will be nice, and fun, and as light [...]
4 Important Steps to Taking Control
4 Important Steps to Taking Control of Your Life… 1. Accept Personal Responsibility Doc says “Everything is our fault, if we’re lucky.” because that means we can change it! If my life, and my feelings, and my reactions are all things within my control, then they are my responsibility. I am in charge of so [...]
Maturity
Confidence + Humility = Maturity
Come to the Edge
“Come to the edge” he said. “We can’t, we are afraid”. “Come to the edge” he said. “We dare not, we shall certainly fall”. “Come to the edge” he said. And they came. And he pushed them. And they flew. – Apollinaire
An EQ Quiz
Matt’s EQ Quiz Answer these questions to test your emotional well-being. You don’t have to write down the answers… just read the question and experience your feelings and emotions. Let them flow thru you… watch your thoughts go by… learn about yourself Dare to explore your feelings… harnessing your feelings and getting them under control [...]
MORE INFO on Feelings and Emotions
MORE INFO I just came across a wonderful psychotherapist, Dr. Claude Steiner, who has done much work in Emotional Literacy. We call it Emotional Intelligence, but it’s VERY much the same concepts that we teach at the New Directions Weekend Workshop. At minimum, please read this short, amusing children’s story, which makes a VERY good [...]
MORE LESSONS TO LEARN, Apparently!
MORE LESSONS TO LEARN Apparently we have more lessons to learn… All I can figure is that our lives have been painful and hard so far, and they will continue to be such until we HAVE learned what we are supposed to learn about the stuff we are SUPPOSED TO learn. It’s as simple as [...]
… here goes …
… here goes …
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