Cheryl Montgomery-Nolan

Day 100 of 100!!  Yeehaa!! WE DID IT! 100 Emotional Lessons in 100 Days (well, about 111, but close enuf!). Let’s recap what we learned about Taking Control of our Feelings & Emotions… Feelings are a GOOD thing, not a Bad thing!  (MOST important!) Feelings are a natural, God-given right that all us humans have [...]

Day 98 of 100: Have you ever felt like you weren’t "normal"? Of course! Almost everyone has felt this at one time or another in their lives. Doc says "Reality is what you get used to." That means that whatever you grew up with and lived with on a daily basis probably felt Normal to [...]

Day 96 of 100: Are you holding on to Resentment? "Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die." "Hanging onto resentment is letting someone you despise live rent-free in your head." If we stay angry at someone, we are carrying that negative energy around inside of us. If we stay [...]

Day 94 of 100:  Be Happy! If you don’t FEEL HAPPY, then Fake it ’til you Make it! Act happy, exaggerate enthusiasm, move your body, smile, move, sing, dance. Tell your body that you’re happy… and if you do it long enuf, it might just believe you! Enjoy!- Matt

Day 92 of 100: Where are you along your path? Here are 5 stages I came up with re: personal growth and development.  The bottom stage is where you are still living in, and controlled by, your past.  The top stage has cleaned-up most ALL of your past and are boldly and cleanly venturing into [...]

Day 90 of 100: What is an Emotional Toolbox, and how do we use it? When we notice that stuff is broken or tweaked or loose, we try to fix it (or find someone who can), right? Then, once it gets irritating enough, we decide we are gonna do something about it. Assuming we have [...]

Day 88 of 100:  How do you deal with negative feelings? We call it "sitting through" the feelings.  When something really negative comes up for you (like sadness, fear, guilt, or anger), sometimes it’s best not to DO anything with it, at all.  Just "sit through" the feeling. Like with Urges, most feelings will pass, [...]

Day 86 of 100:  What’s our purpose in defending ourselves? I have come to believe that being Defensive is a waste of time. If I am wrong, I need to learn from it.If I am right, right is it’s own defense. So what’s the purpose of our denial? Is it that we can’t handle the [...]

Day 84 of 100:  Can you accept other people’s Reality, even if you don’t Agree with it? "Feelings need to be Accepted… but Acceptance does not necessarily mean Approval." – Doc Downing, Ph.D, LMFT Each one of us has our own reality, ones we have created out of our beliefs, values, expectations and conclusions about [...]

Day 82 of 100:  Hints on How your Feelings can help your Life 10 ways to live longer Great Article According to Forbes, below are some practical ways to live longer, healthier lives. And Yes, most have to do with FEELING better = Live Longer.  5 out of 10 are feeling-based and ALL are behavior [...]

Day 80 of 100:  Can we turn our Anger into Love? It’s not: I love you but I’m angry with you. It’s: I love you and I’m angry with you. both can exist at the same time. remove the anger and what’s left, the Love. Remember, we wouldn’t get so angry at the people in [...]

Day 78 of 100:  Let’s help you break-through your fear, doubts and limiting beliefs. Does your life feel out of control? Is your past dragging you down? Ready to "deal with" your Feelings and move on? If you can’t make it out to California for our amazing ND class, you can still get many of [...]

Day 76 of 100:  How to "Be There" for Others. If you know that you will get your needs met – sometime, some place – you can put your own needs aside for a minute and "be there" for the important people in your life.  The #1 most important part of Being There is to [...]

Day 74 of 100:  You can make it happen in your life. "People who soar are those who refuse to sit back, sigh and wish things would change. They neither complain of their lot nor passively dream of some distant ship coming in. Rather, they visualize in their minds that they are not quitters; they [...]

Day 72 of 100:  There are 3 Purposes to Anger. To Manipulate – "Hey!  Stay out of the Street!" To Feel Better – Venting, energy release, relief To Keep People Away – "Back off, buddy!" Get to know your anger.  Make friends with it, and use it wisely!

Day 71 of 100:  How do we deal with Anger at ourselves? Wow, that’s a tough question.  We speak of "dealing with" our anger at a perpetrator, or uncaring parent, or someone’s who abandoned or betrayed us… but what if the focus of our anger is at Ourselves? Here’s a few thoughts on this touchy, [...]

Day 69 of 100:  Your Child’s Self-Esteem I just read this and it hit me.  According to Redirecting Children’s Behavior: The average child receives 12.5 minutes per day in a communication with a parent. On the average, a child receives 400 negative comments compared to only 32 positive comments per day. In a study of [...]

Day 67 of 100:  If we’re supposed to be "in touch" with our feelings, how do we get ourselves to do stuff we don’t FEEL like doing? Doc says "We never do anything we don’t want to do." Sounds crazy, right?  Well, as you know, we ALWAYS have Choices.  If we didn’t want to go [...]

Day 65 of 100: WE HAVE TO DEAL WITH OUR FEELINGS!!! There ain’t no 2 ways about it. WE HAVE TO DEAL WITH OUR FEELINGS!! Feelings are with us 24×7, 365, since we were old enuf to be aware of ourselves until the day we die! They’ve been unconsciously forming, and molding, and growing since [...]

Day 63 of 100:  How do we "get happy"? Happiness is within you. Happiness is Joy. Happiness is doing pretty much what you want to do, with the people you choose to do it with. Happiness is the absence of negative emotions, beliefs and Shoulds. "Being happy doesn’t mean everything’s perfect. It means you’ve decided [...]

Day 61 of 100:  Love really IS the Answer! "Love is the ONLY sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence." – Erich Fromm My #1 favorite Love story:  "Bridge Across Forever" by Richard Bach.  buy it here.  (changed my life!) Some say that Love and Fear are the only 2 primary feelings. [...]

Day 59 of 100:  Give Peace a chance! "You have everything you need for complete peace and total happiness right now.  You can have no inner peace as long as the controls of your life are located outside of yourself." – Dr. Wayne Dyer Peace is a ‘natural’ state of being.  When we are very [...]

Day 57 of 100:  How do we deal with our Depression? "Depression is anger turned inward."  – Doc Downing, PhD, LMFT Depression is anger without enthusiasm Depression is your body’s way of saying "that’s enough" or even "that’s too much". Depression is your body Shutting Down your feelings Depression is It is physically impossible to [...]

Day 56 of 100:  How do we deal with sadness, grief and loss? Sad is for letting go. Sadness is about a loss. Sadness is our body’s way of letting go, releasing & crying away the pain. The anecdote for sadness is to Cry. If we cry and cry and get no relief, there is [...]

Day 54 of 100:  Let’s talk about Anger imho, Anger is the #1 most mis-understood Feeling we have.  It’s socially unacceptable, most people don’t understand or appreciate their anger (and even deny it), and Anger has gotten a very bad rap. Is there a such thing as Good Anger?  Yes! What’s the #1 best way [...]

Day 52 of 100:  FAQ – Here are my answers to some commonly asked questions… Why are we here?  To love and feel loved. What is my purpose?  To help ourselves, and others, feel as loved as we possibly can, while we’re here. How come I’m all over the place, emotionally?It’s ok, it’s just Feelings. [...]

Day 51 of 100:  What Albert Einstein says about Feelings Check this out… here’s what was said over a hundred years ago by one of my heroes. "A human being is a part of the whole, called by us ‘Universe,’ a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as [...]

Day 49 of 100:  How do you handle your Fear(s)? You may have heard the acronym for FEAR as: "F*** Everything And Run"… but I’d rather see you make it: "Face Everything And Recover". "Any one can run towards the light. It takes a master with courage to turn and face the darkness and shine [...]

Day 48 of 100: You can’t cut off just one Feeling… they all go. Doc Downing, therapist extraordinaire, says that we cannot cut off only 1 feeling… cut 1 off and they all go. Let’s say that you have decided that one of your feelings is "bad" and that you WILL NOT feel it — [...]

Day 46 of 100:  Continuing to Learn Well, I’ll be 46 a month from yesterday… and I’m still learning… a Lot.  When I was a kid in junior high and high school, my parents took me to a few different psychiatrists to get some help… as I was obviously unhappy, depressed, overweight and clueless.  Someone [...]

Day 44 of 100: Quotes on Forgiveness(by M. K. Doc Downing, PhD, LMFT) I do not believe in forgiving, for to forgive you means I first must have judged you. "You no-good low life; you hurt me. I’ll never forgive you for what you did to me." In our churches, as well as in the [...]

Day 42 of 100:   It’s Ok NOT to Fail, too! It’s ok to Fail, in small increments, but it is NOT Ok to Fail the BIG Game of Life. It’s not Ok to hurt people you love, under the guise of Being Honest. It’s not Ok to blast the wrong person. It’s not Ok to [...]

Day 40 of 100:  Ok, so what’s next? I fail. A LOT.I experiment a LOT… therefore I Fail, a LOT. but that’s Ok with me.I always have some people in my life who are mad at me.I always have some people in my life who don’t like me very much.There are things I can control, [...]

Day 38 of 100:  Making it happen. Make your life Look, and more importantly FEEL, as great as you want it to! Complements that long-time NDers hear:————————————– "What a good listener you are." "You make a great employee… you’re one of the few people around here who actually gives a damn!" "I always know where [...]

Day 36 of 100:  Personal Power = Freedom Imho, one of THE most healing things you can do for yourself, AND the #1 best thing you can do for your Present & your Future, is to get in touch with your own Personal Power. "Freedom is actually a bigger game than power. Power is about [...]

Day 34 of 100:  Our Emotional Needs Here’s basically how Human Motivation works.  We try to satisfy our "needs". First physiological, then emotional.  As one level of need gets met, we can move up to the next level.  Maslow’s Hierarchy of Human Needs1. Food and water2. Shelter and warmth3. Safety & Security <– we can [...]

Day 32 of 100:  Commitment Commitment is a key to life. (sorry guys). You do NOT have to commit to marriage. but you DO have to commit to SOMETHING. Almost anything, really. I used to be committed to NOT being committed to anything at all. It felt like freedom, able to breathe, flap, fly.  But [...]

Day 26 of 100:  Check in, please. Well, I’m doing it… it’s a quarter of the way through the 100 days.. almost a month, now, and so far, I’m keeping up. I’m really enjoying it, and learning a bunch about myself.  I’ve messed up a few times, too. I’ve missed the 9pm deadline twice (midnight [...]

Day 24 of 100:  The 7 Steps to Feeling and Healing Step-by-step, how to take control of your Feelings and Emotions. As with most things, there are a few Choices when it comes to your Feelings. You can:a) Deny that you have them.probably the #1 best way to make sure they CONTINUE! b) Talk about [...]

Day 21 of 100: Step 5 of 7 – Release of negative Feelings Let ‘em Go! You don’t need to hang on to them anymore! Whatever they are Protecting inside of you (yep, that’s what they hang around for… to Protect you and to Remind you), you can grow PAST them and find other ways [...]

Day 20 of 100:  Step 4 of 7: Expressing our Feelings Doc says, "Feelings expressed as deeply as they are felt, will REDUCE in intensity and are free to change". Our feelings can get ‘stuck’ in our body, and must be Expressed fully, in order to be released. Once you know what we feel, it’s [...]

Day 18 of 100:  Step 2 of 7 Knowing what our body Feels Identification of Feelings. Now it’s time to put a Name to the Feelings we feel. Is it Sadness, or Joy, Guilt or Anger, Fear or Love? (I’ll post a link to the Feelings chart soon… running out of time tonight, sorry.)  go [...]

Day 16 of 100:  The 7 Steps to Healin’ and Feelin’ As we discussed the first day of this sendout — Follow these 7 Simple (tho’ sometimes not Easy) steps to "Dealing with" your feelings & emotions. 1 Awareness that you do Feel2 Knowing what your body Feels3 Allowing your Feelings4 Expression of Feelings, as [...]

Day 14 of 100: Love really IS the answer. So, what’s the question? The question is, Do you choose Fear, or Love? If you choose Love, that means you’ll need to learn more, and push yourself, and open up, and get started healing some of your past. It’s a commitment to yourself… maybe one of [...]

Day 13 of 100: What’s GOOD about Anger? Anger has gotten a bad rap.  It’s probably the #1 mis-understood feeling of all (imho)… so what’s it for? Anger is for telling us WHO we you are and WHAT is important to us. If we don’t know, appreciate and learn to LIKE our anger, we are [...]

Day 10 of 100: Love or Fear There are 2 basic ways to live your life… FEAR-Based:- Afraid of what MIGHT happen, and what other people think of you. or LOVE-Based- Full of life, with people around you, and oodles of love for yourself and others. You are TOTALLY in control of which way you [...]

Day 8 of 100:  Shoulds …continued… Yesterday we discussed that, even though we have been teaching for years that Shoulds are a Bad thing, I’m finding that some of my Shoulds are helping me, very much, and are therefore a Good thing! Here’s how to become aware of them… pick a Should that goes on [...]

Day 6 of 100:  A collection of quotes about improving our emotional lives… "There is more to life than increasing its speed." ~ Mahatma Gandhi "Emotional intelligence (EQ), can matter as much as IQ in determining a person’s well-being and effectiveness in life."~ Dr. Claude Steiner   "Emotional Literacy; Intelligence with a Heart" (free online book… [...]

Day 4 of 100: Stay the Course The lessons you are learning here are Life-Long changes inside you. They are not quick-fix, learn-’em-and-forget-’em concepts. They are a new way of life. A new way to be. Make sure you get yourself into an Ongoing supportive environment. Whether it’s your family, or your co-workers that you [...]

Ok, I’m going to make a run at it…  starting today, Jan 17, 2006, until Apr 24, 2006, I’m gonna do: 100 Emotional Tips in 100 Days! Find out how to feel and keep feeling.Find out how to love and keep loving.Find out how to be open, or closed, or neutral.Find out how to be [...]