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Hi:
We need to make this vital information even more accessible to the world!
Now that I’m done with the "100 Emotions Lessons in 100 Days", I need to re-organize this wealth of information and put it into a more readable / downloadable medium, i.e. an Ebook.
… but I need some help.  If you’re a good organizer, [...]

We did it!

Day 100 of 100!!  Yeehaa!!
WE DID IT! 100 Emotional Lessons in 100 Days (well, about 111, but close enuf!).
Let’s recap what we learned about Taking Control of our Feelings & Emotions…

Feelings are a GOOD thing, not a Bad thing!  (MOST important!)
Feelings are a natural, God-given right that all us humans have in common.
Feelings are who [...]

Choose Your Battles

Day 99 of 100:  We can’t get upset about Everything, right?
We always have Choices, including choosing what we are going to get upset about and what to get in a fight or war over.  Certainly, there are things worth fighting for in life.  Many things.  But there are also times when it’s best to just [...]

What is Normal?

Day 98 of 100: Have you ever felt like you weren’t "normal"?
Of course! Almost everyone has felt this at one time or another in their lives.
Doc says "Reality is what you get used to."
That means that whatever you grew up with and lived with on a daily basis probably felt Normal to you, and became [...]

1 Feeling Gets Cut Off, They all Go!

Day 97 of 100:  Do you have a Feeling that is Unacceptable to you?
"If you cut off one feeling, you cut them all off."
- Doc Downing, Ph.D, LMFT

We can’t just cut off one feeling.  If one goes, they all go. 

Is your Anger unacceptable to you?
Do you avoid your Sadness?
Do you feel Depressed much of [...]

Resentment can kill you!

Day 96 of 100: Are you holding on to Resentment?
"Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die."

"Hanging onto resentment is letting someone you despise live rent-free in your head."
If we stay angry at someone, we are carrying that negative energy around inside of us. If we stay resentful, we are [...]

Be Respectful of Other’s Feelings

Day 95 of 100:  Respecting other people’s feelings
We keep talking about dealing with OUR feelings, but what about other people’s feelings?
The better we know ourselves, the more understanding and compassionate we can be for others.

Sometimes people are scared, or insecure, but they Sound angry.
Sometimes people are sad, or down, but they push people away with [...]

Be Happy!

Day 94 of 100:  Be Happy!
If you don’t FEEL HAPPY, then Fake it ’til you Make it!
Act happy, exaggerate enthusiasm, move your body, smile, move, sing, dance.
Tell your body that you’re happy… and if you do it long enuf, it might just believe you!
Enjoy!- Matt

Imagine No Possessions

Day 93 of 100:  What would it be like to have only yourself?
So many of the New Orleans-area Katrina victims were left with what?   NOTHING.  Absolutely, 100% Nothing but the CLOTHES they were wearing. 
No possessions (can you imagine?  I wonder if you can.)
They had nothing, right?
What else did these survivors carry with them, no [...]

Growth Path

Day 92 of 100: Where are you along your path?
Here are 5 stages I came up with re: personal growth and development.  The bottom stage is where you are still living in, and controlled by, your past.  The top stage has cleaned-up most ALL of your past and are boldly and cleanly venturing into [...]

Behavior Modification

Day 91 of 100:  How our Behaviours are Created.
Here’s how our brain works.
There are 2 sides of the brain, the Left hemisphere and the Right hemisphere.  The Left side handles logic, thought and reason, known as the Cognitive side.  The Right side is for pictures, sound and feelings, known as the Affective side.
Our behaviours are [...]

Emotional Toolbox

Day 90 of 100: What is an Emotional Toolbox, and how do we use it?
When we notice that stuff is broken or tweaked or loose, we try to fix it (or find someone who can), right? Then, once it gets irritating
enough, we decide we are gonna do something about it. Assuming we have the [...]

Shock and Confusion

Day 89 of 100:  Can we actually "choose" whether to we feel Shocked, or Confused?
The idea that "we can choose our feelings" isn’t exactly accurate. All feelings
come from perceptions, decisions, conclusions, expectations and beliefs that we
have garnered throughout our lifetime.
So, it’s not a matter of choosing whether
to feel shocked or confused, but to understand [...]

Dealing with Feelings

Day 88 of 100:  How do you deal with negative feelings?
We call it "sitting through" the feelings.  When something really negative comes up for you (like sadness, fear, guilt, or anger), sometimes it’s best not to DO anything with it, at all.  Just "sit through" the feeling.
Like with Urges, most feelings will pass, if left [...]

Almost There

Day 87 of 100:  We’re almost done with this series.
Well, we’re on Day 87, and almost done with this series of Emotional Lessons (thanks for hangin’ in there with me!). 
So, as we say at our powerful ND class…NOW WHAT?!?
Now that we know all this cool info and have these new skills, Now what?  Are [...]

Denial and Defensiveness

Day 86 of 100:  What’s our purpose in defending ourselves?
I have come to believe that being Defensive is a waste of time.
If I am wrong, I need to learn from it.If I am right, right is it’s own defense.
So what’s the purpose of our denial?
Is it that we can’t handle the truth?Is it that we [...]

How we Learn

Day 85 of 100:  There are steps we go through in learning anything new.
The 4 Steps to Learning
1.  Unconsciously Incompetent (we don’t know that we don’t know)
2.  Consciously Incompetent (we find out that we don’t know)
3.  Consciously Competent (we find out how to know)
4.  Unconsciously Competent (we know without having to think about it)
see chart
Powerpoint [...]

Acceptance

Day 84 of 100:  Can you accept other people’s Reality, even if you don’t Agree with it?
"Feelings need to be Accepted… but Acceptance does not necessarily mean Approval."
- Doc Downing, Ph.D, LMFT

Each one of us has our own reality, ones we have created out of our beliefs, values, expectations and conclusions about ourselves and others.  [...]

Know your Feelings, Know your Self!

Day 83 of 100:  How aware are you?
"If you know what you Feel, you’ll know who you are and what you want!"
- Doc Downing, Ph.D, LMFT

"Who am I?"
"What am I doing here?"
"What is my life about?"

These are basic questions that we’ve all had to answer at some point in our lives.  Some people grow old [...]

10 Ways to Live Longer

Day 82 of 100:  Hints on How your Feelings can help your Life
10 ways to live longer

Great Article
According to Forbes, below are some practical ways to live longer, healthier lives. And Yes, most have to do with FEELING better = Live Longer.  5 out of 10 are feeling-based and ALL are behaviour based… and [...]

Laughter helps, Depression hurts

Day 81 of 100:  Physically, there really are Good feelings and Bad feelings.
Laughter helps, Depression hurts

A daily dose of laughter may be good for the heart because, like exercise, it makes blood vessels work more efficiently, U.S. researchers reported.
Depression, on the other hand, can raise the risk of dying from heart failure, a separate study [...]

Turning Anger into Love

Day 80 of 100:  Can we turn our Anger into Love?
It’s not:
I love you but I’m angry with you.

It’s:
I love you and I’m angry with you.

both can exist at the same time. remove the anger and what’s left, the Love.
Remember, we wouldn’t get so angry at the people in our lives if we didn’t Care [...]

Feelings go Up and Down

Day 79 of 100:  Feel the Contrast
Joy and Sorrow

"Life is the coexistence of all opposite values.  Joy and sorrow, pleasure and pain, up and down, hot and cold, here and there, light and darkness, birth and death.  All experience is by contrast, and one would be meaningless without the other."
- Deepak Chopra

In other words, you [...]

Ready to Get some Help?

Day 78 of 100:  Let’s help you break-through your fear, doubts and limiting beliefs.

Does your life feel out of control?
Is your past dragging you down?
Ready to "deal with" your Feelings and move on?

If you can’t make it out to California for our amazing ND class, you can still get many of the benefits [...]

Anger is a Secondary Feeling

Day 77 of 100: Anger is NOT a primary feeling!
Of your body’s primary feelings (including fear, sadness, physical pain, joy, peace, love, etc) anger is not one of them.  Anger is what we call a ’secondary feeling’, in that:
"You will always feel something first, BEFORE you feel anger."
- Doc Downing, Ph.D., LMFT

For example, let’s [...]

Being There for Others

Day 76 of 100:  How to "Be There" for Others.
If you know that you will get your needs met – sometime, some place – you can put your own needs aside for a minute and "be there" for the important people in your life.  The #1 most important part of Being There is to Listen.  [...]

Reaching Out

Day 75 of 100:  How & why do we reach out to others?
Ok, so you’re aware that:

You have issues.
You are not alone.  (other people have issues, too.)
Some other people have answers.
Love and connections are some of the keys to a happy, healthy life.

CONGRATS, ’cause Awareness is the 1st key to Change! (but it is only [...]

Visualize it!

Day 74 of 100:  You can make it happen in your life.
"People who soar are those who refuse to sit back, sigh and wish things would change.
They neither complain of their lot nor passively dream of some distant ship coming in.
Rather, they visualize in their minds that they are not quitters; they will [...]

Happy Birthday to me!

Day 73 of 100:  Yes, today is my 46th birthday — Yeehaa!! 
           ~=:c  )
I feel old, and young, at the same time.  I’m young at heart — love to play, and laugh, especially with kiddos and friends.  But I’m also kinda stiff and creeky sometimes (even tho’ I can play racquetball, [...]

The Purposes of Anger

Day 72 of 100:  There are 3 Purposes to Anger.

To Manipulate – "Hey!  Stay out of the Street!"
To Feel Better – Venting, energy release, relief
To Keep People Away – "Back off, buddy!"

Get to know your anger.  Make friends with it, and use it wisely!

Self-Anger

Day 71 of 100:  How do we deal with Anger at ourselves?
Wow, that’s a tough question.  We speak of "dealing with" our anger at a perpetrator, or uncaring parent, or someone’s who abandoned or betrayed us… but what if the focus of our anger is at Ourself?
Here’s a few thoughts on this touchy, yet [...]

Guilt: Two Kinds

Day 70 of 100:  Guilt can be Good or Bad.
There are Two (2) Kinds of Guilt:
Punishing Guilt — when you’re Trashing yourself and beating yourself up for something you did, or didn’t do.  and then there’s
Productive Guilt – when you are Learning your lesson, taking the consequences of your actions boldly and maturely, [...]

Parenting Tips

Day 69 of 100:  Your Child’s Self-Esteem
I just read this and it hit me.  According to Redirecting Children’s Behaviour:

The average child receives 12.5 minutes per day in a communication with a parent.
On the average, a child receives 400 negative comments compared to only 32 positive comments per day.
In a study of children between the ages [...]

Trust

Day 68 of 100:  Let’s talk about Trust.
Ok, so you may have gotten burned in past relationships.  Who hasn’t?!?  Join the club.  So how do you rebuild your level of Trust in other humans?
Ronald Reagan said:"Trust and Verify"
We got burned by someone who didn’t do what we Expected them to do (or did something we [...]

Feelings vs Commitment

Day 67 of 100:  If we’re supposed to be "in touch" with our feelings, how do we get ourselves to do stuff we don’t FEEL like doing?
Doc says "We never do anything we don’t want to do."
Sounds crazy, right?  Well, as you know, we ALWAYS have Choices.  If we didn’t want to go to work, [...]

Release of Feelings

Day 66 of 100:  How do we feel better??
Have you ever felt the exhileration and incredible Release that you feel after a strong, powerful, energy-releasing SCREAM??
How about the peace and calm you feel after a good, long, deep heart-wrenching CRY?
Not a complaining, whiney, powerless bitch-session… I’m talking about REALLY dealing with your true feelings, as [...]

Feelings are the Real Deal

Day 65 of 100: WE HAVE TO DEAL WITH OUR FEELINGS!!!
There ain’t no 2 ways about it.
WE HAVE TO DEAL WITH OUR FEELINGS!!
Feelings are with us 24×7, 365, since we were old enuf to be aware of ourselves until the day we die! They’ve been unconsciously forming, and molding, and growing since then [...]

Replace Negative Feelings

Day 64 of 100:  A breathing exercise to replace negative feelings with positive ones.
What if you could breathe out your negative feelings, and breathe in positive ones?
Be still, in a quiet place.

Acknowledge the feeling you have (hate, anger, bitterness, sadness, fear, etc). Know it. Accept that it is in you right now. Then [...]

Happiness

Day 63 of 100:  How do we "get happy"?

Happiness is within you.

Happiness is Joy.

Happiness is doing pretty much what you want to do, with the people you choose to do it with.

Happiness is the absense of negative emotions, beliefs and Shoulds.

"Being happy doesn’t mean everything’s perfect. It means you’ve decided to see beyond the imperfections."
- [...]

Closeness and Intimacy

Day 62 of 100:  How do we Connect with others?
"The true primary goal of all behavior is to find a sense of belonging and significance."
- Dr. Rudolph Dreikurs

Feeling Close, Connected, Intimate, Belonging, Attached, IN, "in love", in relationship, kickin’ it with friends or family… that’s what it’s all about.

"Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is the ability to [...]

LOVE

Day 61 of 100:  Love really IS the Answer!
"Love is the ONLY sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence."
- Erich Fromm

My #1 favorite Love story:  "Bridge Across Forever" by Richard Bach.  buy it here.  (changed my life!)
Some say that Love and Fear are the only 2 primary feelings.
The 3 most powerful [...]

Joy

Day 60 of 100:  How do we create Joy & Fun in our lives?

"Joy is not in things! It is in us!"
- Ben Franklin

Here’s what Joy is about:

People want Joy.

We can only feel our Joy, as much as we are willing to feel our Sadness.

People will do more to avoid the feeling [...]

Peace

Day 59 of 100:  Give Peace a chance!

"You have everything you need for complete peace and total happiness right now.  You can have no inner peace as long as the controls of your life are located outside of yourself."
- Dr. Wayne Dyer

Peace is a ‘natural’ state of being.  When we are very little, and [...]

Guilt, Shame & Low Self-Esteem

Day 58 of 100:  Now here comes the Really yucky ones!
"Whenever we feel guilty, we will set ourselves up to be punished."
- Doc Downing, PhD, LMFT

Guilt and Shame can do more to RUIN our lives than almost any feeling there is!  And the most wonderful thing about both of them is that:

Guilt and Shame are [...]

Depression

Day 57 of 100:  How do we deal with our Depression?
"Depression is anger turned inward." 
- Doc Downing, PhD, LMFT

Depression is anger without enthusiasm
Depression is your body’s way of saying "that’s enough" or even "that’s too much".
Depression is your body Shutting Down your feelings
Depression is
It is physically impossible to be screaming, kickin’ angry, and Depressed, [...]

Sadness & Grief

Day 56 of 100:  How do we deal with sadness, grief and loss?

Sad is for letting go.
Sadness is about a loss.
Sadness is our body’s way of letting go, releasing & crying away the pain.
The antetode for sadness is to Cry.
If we cry and cry and get no relief, there is probably Anger associated, as [...]

Fear

Day 55 of 100:  What do we do with our Fear?

Fear is our body’s way of telling us to "Pay Attention".
Fear is in our heart.
Fear is about the Future.  (what might, or might not, happen)
Fear and Love are the only 2 primary feelings (some say).
Fear can be debilitating
Fear can freeze you
or Fear can make you [...]

Anger & Rage

Day 54 of 100:  Let’s talk about Anger
imho, Anger is the #1 most mis-understood Feeling we have.  It’s socially unacceptable, most people don’t understand or appreciate their anger (and even deny it), and Anger has gotten a very bad rap.

Is there a such thing as Good Anger?  Yes!
What’s the #1 best way to get rid [...]

The BIG 10 Feelings & Emotions

Day 53 of 100:  Let’s talk about each Feeling, specifically.
In the next 10 Days, we are going to discuss each of what I call:
The BIG 10 Feelings & Emotions…

Anger & Rage
Fear
Sadness & Grief
Depression
Guilt, Shame & Low Self-Esteem
Peace
Joy & Fun
Love
Closeness & Intimacy
Happiness

We’ll discuss the "negative" feelings first, as one of the main concepts here is [...]

Questions & Answers

Day 52 of 100:  FAQ – Here are my answers to some commonly asked questions…
Why are we here?  To love and feel loved.
What is my purpose?  To help ourselves, and others, feel as loved as we possibly can, while we’re here.
How come I’m all over the place, emotionally?It’s ok, it’s just Feelings. [...]

Einstein on Feelings

Day 51 of 100:  What Albert Einstein says about Feelings
Check this out… here’s what was said over a hundred years ago by one of my heros.
"A human being is a part of the whole, called by us ‘Universe,’ a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated [...]

About People

Day 50 of 100:  I Know People Who Love…
One of my proudest things, is the feeling that I Know People.  To me, people are THE most interesting thing in my life! … and one of the coolest thing about people is that there is absolutely NO WAY to know all there is to know about [...]

FEAR = Face Everything And Recover

Day 49 of 100:  How do you handle your Fear(s)?
You may have heard the acronym for FEAR as:
"F*** Everything And Run"…

but I’d rather see you make it:
"Face Everything And Recover".

"Any one can run towards the light. It takes a master with courage to turn and face the darkness and shine his own light there." [...]

Feelings are a “Package Deal”

Day 48 of 100: You can’t cut off just one Feeling… they all go.
Doc Downing, therapist extraordinaire, says that we cannot cut off only 1 feeling… cut 1 off and they all go.
Let’s say that you have decided that one of your feelings is "bad" and that you WILL NOT feel it — usually Anger. [...]

Who are you Talking to?

Day 47 of 100:  Do you fit in here?
Here’s the "audience" for this material.  Do you fit in anywhere here??
the clueless.the ‘broken’.the discouraged.the hopeless.
the distant.the lonely.the unhappy.the estranged.the separated.
those who don’t fit in.those who feel strange, or weird, or different.those who feel dirty, or wrong, or bad, or ugly.those who are down on themselves and [...]

46 Years and still Learning

Day 46 of 100:  Continuing to Learn
Well, I’ll be 46 a month from yesterday… and I’m still learning… a Lot. 
When I was a kid in junior high and high school, my parents took me to a few different psychiatrists to get some help… as I was obviously unhappy, depressed, overweight and clueless. 
Someone asked [...]

A New Sense of Self

Day 45 of 100:  Selfish vs. Self-full
I am coining a new phrase "Self-full".
Selfish is about "me first, I don’t care about you."but Self-full is about "me first, so that I can be there for you even more!"
There is a way that works Great.It’s about taking care of me, and making sure I’m ok, I have [...]

On Forgiveness

Day 44 of 100: Quotes on Forgiveness(by M. K. Doc Downing, PhD, LMFT)

I do not believe in forgiving, for to forgive you means I first must have judged you.

"You no-good low life; you hurt me. I’ll never forgive you for what you did to me."

In our churches, as well as in the psychological community, we [...]

How Feelings Get Repressed

Day 43 of 100:  Know ‘em -> Accept ‘em-> Express ‘em
Here’s one of the big ways that feelings get messed up, inside us. (per Doc)
a)  As children, we Express our feelings all over the place… but we often got in trouble for that.  Our parents weren’t taught how to handle Their feelings, so they (consciously [...]

Winning the BIG Game of Life

Day 42 of 100:   It’s Ok NOT to Fail, too!
It’s ok to Fail, in small increments, but it is NOT Ok to Fail the BIG Game of Life.

It’s not Ok to hurt people you love, under the guise of Being Honest.
It’s not Ok to blast the wrong person.
It’s not Ok to use people, [...]

Relationships and Friendships

Day 41 of 100:  How to create lasting relationships
One of the most common situations that perplexes mankind:
How to create friendships, keep them and not hurt one another.
It’s not easy; in fact, MOST people don’t know how to do this. MOST friendships end on a sour note. Why? Because we do not understand:

how our [...]

It’s OK to Fail!

Day 40 of 100:  Ok, so what’s next?
I fail. A LOT.I experiment a LOT… therefore I Fail, a LOT.
but that’s Ok with me.I always have some people in my life who are mad at me.I always have some people in my life who don’t like me very much.there are things I can control, and things [...]

The 5 Love Languages

Day 39 of 100:  Ways to Feel Loved
In order to be Personally Responsible for ourselves and our relationships, it is our job to TEACH people how to be with us.  That is why, the more success we will have in our relationships.  The better we know ourselves, the better we can show others in our [...]

How do you want your life to Feel?

Day 38 of 100:  Making it happen.

Make your life Look, and more importantly FEEL, as great as you want it to!
Complements that long-time NDers hear:————————————–

"What a good listener you are."
"You make a great employee… you’re one of the few people around here who actually gives a damn!"
"I always know where you’re coming from… I like [...]

Using “I” Messages

Day 37 of 100:  Use "I" Messages to avoid Fights
The one thing that is NOT debatable in a fight is when you speak about YOUR OWN Feelings, only.  If you say, "I feel angry when I’m not listened to", there’s no debate.  It is a fact, it is YOUR fact, and it is not something [...]

Freedom v. Power

Day 36 of 100:  Personal Power = Freedom
imho, one of THE most healing things you can do for yourself, AND the #1 best thing you can do for your Present & your Future, is to get in touch with your own Personal Power.
"Freedom is actually a bigger game than power. Power is about what [...]

Relationship Success

Day 35 of 100:  Successful Relationships
Doc writes about what it takes to make your relationships work.  Read the entire article (posted at our online support group, 2GetHelp).
The 4 Requirements for a Successful Relationship

A willingness on the part of both people to share and to accept each other’s feelings.

Both people use a problem solving method [...]

Emotional Needs

Day 34 of 100:  Our Emotional Needs
Here’s basically how Human Motivation works.  We try to satisfy our "needs". First physiological, then emotional.  As one level of need gets met, we can move up to the next level. 
Maslow’s Hierarchy of Human Needs1. Food and water2. Shelter and warmth3. Safety & Security <– we can help [...]

Personal Power!!

Day 33 of 100:" I Have Personal Power"
I believe that this is one of the MOST amazing skills we do at ND… is helping people use their PP!  Better, bolder, stronger, more often, more loving, and more clearly with more wisdom and respect for others.  You will find that long time NDers LIKE themselves, are [...]

Commitment

Day 32 of 100:  Commitment

Commitment is a key to life. (sorry guys).

you do NOT have to commit to marriage.
but you DO have to commit to SOMETHING. almost anything, really.

I used to be committed to NOT being committed to anything at all. It felt life freedom, able to breathe, flap, fly.  But as I ‘grew [...]

Anger -> Depression Connection

Day 31 of 100:  The Anger -> Depression Connection
Doc says: 
"Depression is Anger turned inward."

So it is so important that we "deal with" and understand our Anger.  In his powerful article, This Is A War – DEPRESSION, author Clay Tucker-Ladd agrees:
"Depression is an important opportunity to reevaluate your priorities and not a ‘disease’ to be [...]

Learning to Feel

Day 30 of 100: Coming Out
"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud wasmore painful than the risk it took to blossom."

- Anais Nin

Coming Out — in this context — refers to coming out of your ’shell’, allowing and feeling your feelings, putting yourself first, become personally responsible for your [...]

Emotion in Motion

Day 28 of 100:  Types of Emotion
Emotion, without content, or resolution = DRAMA
Emotion, in order to release, and heal = VENTING
Emotion, for the purpose of hurting others, getting them to ‘like’ you or for emotional blackmail = MANIPULATION
Emotion, for the purpose of closeness, openness and intimacy = SHARING
Emotion, for the purpose of making things happen [...]

Mastering Communications

Day 27 of 100:  Communication Skills & Attitudes
Really good article on Communication skills, or more importantly, the Attitudes BEHIND the skills.
Attitudes underlie our decisions and our behaviours.
Read on: NLP Weekly ? How To Master Communication.

Hi

Day 26 of 100:  check in, please.

well, I’m doing it… it’s a quarter of the way through the 100 days.. almost a month, now, and so far, I’m keeping up.
I’m really enjoying it, and learning a bunch about myself. 
I’ve messed up a few times, too.

I’ve missed the 9pm deadline twice (midnight for Feedblitz, who [...]

Boundary maintenance

Day 25 of 100:  Boundary maintenance is not about Drama.
Drama is actually DISrespected, and easily DIScounted.

Powerful use of voice, energy, body language, feelings, eyes, THAT’s what’s Respected.
You don’t show them all you’ve got, until it’s time.but you also let them know it’s NOTHING to mess with.

If you live an emotionally unsafe environment, stay cool and [...]

7 Step Wrap-up

Day 24 of 100:  The 7 Steps to Feeling and Healing
Step-by-step, how to take control of your Feelings and Emotions.

As with most things, there are a few Choices when it comes to your Feelings.
You can:a) Deny that you have them.probably the #1 best way to make sure they CONTINUE!
b) Talk about them.this will help immeasurably, [...]

Step 7: Rejoice about all our Learning and Growth

Day 23 of 100: Step 7 of 7 – Rejoice! and celebrate life, love, pain, the whole enchilada!
What if emotional pain was not that bigga deal?What if we could face our very worst fears, head on?What if nothing could get us Angry enough to blow up, ever, unless we allow it to?
What if we were [...]

Step 6: Replacing our negative feelings with Positive

Day 22 of 100: Step 6 of 7 – Replacing our negative feelings with Positive ones
They’re dark.  They’re ugly.  and they drag us down… so we become aware of them, feel them, and let them go, right?  Ok, cool, but we’re not done yet…
It’s kinda bizarre how it works, but once the negative feelings are [...]

Step 5: Release of negative Feelings

Day 21 of 100: Step 5 of 7 – Release of negative Feelings
Let ‘em Go!
You don’t need to hang on to them anymore!
Whatever they are Protecting inside of you (yep, that’s what they hang around for… to Protect you and to Remind you), you can grow PAST them and find other ways of Protecting yourself.
MOST [...]

Step 4: Expressing our Feelings

Day 20 of 100:  Step 4 of 7: Expressing our Feelings
Doc says, "Feelings expressed as deeply as they are felt, will REDUCE in intensity and are free to change".
Our feelings can get ’stuck’ in our body, and must be Expressed fully, in order to be released.
Once you know what we feel, it’s important to Allow [...]

Step 3: Accepting our Feelings

Day 19 of 100:  Step 3 of 7 – Accepting our Feelings
Have you ever said "I’m not angry, just hurt?"or how about "I’m Ok", when you weren’t?Do you find yourself saying "Yes" when you mean "No", or "No" when you mean "Yes"?
These are about not Accepting your feelings.
If we can ACCEPT that we are Angry, [...]

Step 2: Knowing what our body Feels

Day 18 of 100:  Step 2 of 7 Knowing what our body Feels
Identification of Feelings.
Now it’s time to put a Name to the Feelings we feel.
Is it Sadness, or Joy, Guilt or Anger, Fear or Love?
(I’ll post a link to the Feelings chart soon… running out of time tonight, sorry.)  go here
It’s very important [...]

Step 1: Awareness that we Feel

Day 17 of 100:  Step 1 of 7 – Awareness that we Feel
What are you feeling right now?  (stop reading for a sec, close your eyes and just Notice what your body is feeling right now…. go)
Were you able to notice some things about how you feel? 
We never STOP feeling, ever.  Even while [...]

The 7 Steps to Feelin’ and Healin’

Day 16 of 100:  The 7 Steps to Healin’ and Feelin’
As we discussed the first day of this sendout — Follow these 7 Simple (tho’ sometimes not Easy) steps to
"Dealing with" your feelings & emotions.
1 Awareness that you do Feel2 Knowing what your body Feels3 Allowing your Feelings4 Expression of Feelings, as deeply as [...]

Staying Connected

Day 15 of 100: You gotta stay Connected.
I’ve been trying to convince you to live from Love, rather than Fear, right?
Here’s the thing about Love, tho.  (well, there are lots of tricks to it, but there’s one large, underlying premise to this whole thing.)
Love is about Connection.
It may be a connection with your inner self.and [...]

Love is the Answer

Day 14 of 100: Love really IS the answer.
So, what’s the question?
The question is, Do you choose Fear, or Love?
If you choose Love, that means you’ll need to learn more, and push yourself, and open up, and get started healing some of your past. It’s a commitment to yourself… maybe one of the BIGgest commitments [...]

The Purpose of Anger

Day 13 of 100: What’s GOOD about Anger?
Anger has gotten a bad rap.  It’s probably the #1 mis-understood feeling of all (imho)… so what’s it for?
Anger is for telling us WHO we you are and WHAT is important to us.
If we don’t know, appreciate and learn to LIKE our anger, we are denying a HUGE [...]

the Purpose of Feelings

Day 12 of 100: What is the Purpose of having Feelings?
Everything we do is for a Purpose, to help us in some way… or we wouldn’t keep doing it.  What is the PURPOSE of our Feelings?

Fear is for a warning.
Sad is for letting go.
Depression is for overwhelm.
Love is for life.
Peace is for sanity.
Joy is for [...]

Love is letting go of Fear

Day 11 of 100: Love is a Decision.
Yesterday we talked about Love or Fear, Take your Pick.  Well, it turns out that there are whole schools of personal growth who believe that there are ONLY 2 emotions:  Love and Fear.
One of the books that helped change my life was Gerald Jampolsky’s "LOVE IS LETTING GO [...]

Love or Fear, Take your Pick

Day 10 of 100: Love or Fear
There are 2 basic ways to live your life…
FEAR-Based:- Afraid of what MIGHT happen, and what other people think of you.
or
LOVE-Based- Full of life, with people around you, and oodles of love for yourself and others.
You are TOTALLY in control of which way you choose to live.
Are you [...]

Where is your Focus?

Day 9 of 100: Timing is everything, right?
well, check this one…
Guilt is about the Past. Shame is about the Present. Fear is about the Future.
* We might feel Guilty about something we DID, or DIDn’t do, in the past. * We might feel Shame about who we are, in the moment. * [...]

Shoulds – Becoming Aware

Day 8 of 100:  Shoulds …continued…
Yesterday we discussed that, even though we have been teaching for years that Shoulds are a Bad thing, I’m finding that some of my Shoulds are helping me, very much, and are therefore a Good thing!
Here’s how to become aware of them…
pick a Should that goes on in your head: [...]

Shoulds – are they Good or Bad?

Day 7 of 100: Shoulds
(here’s something I just thought of, this morning about Shoulds…)
We teach that Shoulds are bad, right?
We say: "Down with Shoulds!""Have you Should on yourself today?""The 13th Commandment: Thou Shall Not Should On Thyself"
Shoulds are other people’s way of controlling you, of cramming their opinions and issues down our throats, controlling our [...]

Quotes on Personal Growth

Day 6 of 100:  A collection of quotes about improving our emotional lives…
"There is more to life than increasing its speed." ~ Mahatma Gandhi
"Emotional intelligence (EQ), can matter as much as IQ in determining a person’s well-being and effectiveness in life."~ Dr. Claude Steiner   "Emotional Literacy; Intelligence with a Heart" (free online book… read it!) [...]

Emotional Intelligence

Day 5 of 100:  Emotional Intelligence
New Terms:  Emotional Intelligence (EI) = Understanding and Managing your Feelings and EmotionsEmotional Quotient (EQ) = Like IQ, a measure of one’s emotional knowledge and understanding.
Below are the 5 aspects of Emotional Intellegence that all need to be Mastered.

1. Emotional Recognition and Expression:

the ability to identify one’s own feelings [...]

Stay the Course

Day 4 of 100: Stay the Course
The lessons you are learning here are Life-Long changes inside you. They are not quick-fix, learn-’em-and-forget-’em concepts. They are a new way of life. A new way to be.
Make sure you get yourself into an Ongoing supportive environment. Whether it’s your family, or your co-workers that you hang with [...]

The opposite of Fear is Faith.

Day 3 of 100: Faith
The opposite of Fear is Faith.
We only seem to be afraid of what MIGHT happen in the future.- we might get hurt- we might fall- we might be left behind- etc.
We are usually NOT afraid if we believe that things are going to work out Ok. That’s called Faith.
It doesn’t mean [...]

Feeling Feelings Heals Feelings.

Day 2 of 100:  First we had the 7 Steps to Healing and Feeling discussed yesterday. can you name them? (hint: KAAERRR)
But there’s an even more Basic assumption here.
which is…
Feeling Feelings Heals Feelings.(say that 3 times fast)Feeling Feelings Heals Feelings.Feeling Feelings Heals Feelings.Feeling Feelings Heals Feelings.
yes, that’s it.
If we ALLOW our negative Feelings to be [...]

Healing your Feelings, the Basics

Day 1 of 100:  Ok, Welcome to Day 1 of 100 Emotional Tips in 100 Days.  I thought I’d start with the basics, so I made a cool Chart to illustrate it for you.
Want to Take Control of your Feelings and Emotions?
Know and practice the 7 Steps to Healing your Feelings. (KAAERR pronounced ‘care’)
1 Knowing [...]

Feel Inspired, Every Day!

Ok, I’m going to make a run at it…  starting today, Jan 17, 2006, until Apr 24, 2006, I’m gonna do:
100 Emotional Tips in 100 Days!

Find out how to feel and keep feeling.Find out how to love and keep loving.Find out how to be open, or closed, or neutral.Find out how to be aware and [...]