EQ is the Answer!
For kids, teens and adults — in schools, homes and at work — EQ can save our world!
EQ Goes Mainstream in Kung Fu Panda 2!
Good news! We went to see “Kung Fu Panda 2″ at the matinee yesterday and it was FULL of positive EQ messages! Giving, honor, loving, finding “Inner Peace”, working thru childhood belief systems, confidence, teamwork, etc., etc. I love it when EQ goes Mainstream, and our kids get GOOD examples/lessons, for a change!
WE MUST WAKE UP!!
There’s a Sense of Urgency missing from our message! The basis for the problems in our society today is that: We as a People are Emotionally Clueless! We talk about Feelings ’cause it makes us Feel better, but people are DYING, quite literally and figuratively, because they don’t know what we know… EVERY Suicide is [...]
DEPRESSION, Illness or Symptom
Have you ever found yourself “trapped” in a job or school situation where the work really wasn’t that hard, but after two hours at work or school, you felt as if you had put in ten. By the end of the day, it seemed that it was all you could do to make it [...]
ANGER For Better or For Worse
There has been much debate, over the years, about whether anger is good or bad. All sorts of remedies have been offered by those who see anger as destructive. Try counting to ten. Think before you speak. Nice girls don’t get angry; pretty is as pretty does. Stay away from people who make you [...]
Emotional Intelligence Questions (part 2)
Who or what are you Angry at? Who or what Hurt you the most? Who or what are you most Afraid of? What is keeping you from Releasing the pain?
Emotional Intelligence Questions
Do your emotions work for you, or against you? Do you find yourself Repeating unhealthy behaviours, and don’t know why, or how to stop them? Are issues from the past ruining your present day life? Does your life feel out of control? If you answered YES to any of these questions, you could use more [...]
Are you Bored?
Shutting down feelings leads to boredom, irritability, grumpiness and depression. Allowing ourselves to feel leads to passion, excitement, fun and love. Let’s open our hearts to Feel, and Live! “Anyone who is bored with life has probably forgotten his or her dreams.“ – David Schwartz
Who are your Role Models?
Sometimes our light goes out but is blown again into flame by an encounter with another human being. Each of us owes the deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this inner light. – Albert Schweitzer We can find role models anywhere –- friends, family, famous people, infamous people, movies, stories, our imagination – literally, [...]
IQ + EQ = LOL !!
In schools, they teach us the 3 R’s: Reading, wRiting and aRithmetic. But that’s only teach HALF of what we need! Our feelings, heart and soul (EQ) is at least as important as our brains, knowledge and logic (IQ). Everything we do, and everything we are, is based on our Feelings and Emotions. We can’t [...]
Need Something Bigger to Believe In?
Dramatic increase in Americans declaring “No religion” AP HARTFORD, CT – A new report finds that American adults who claim “no religious affiliation” increased from 14 million in 1990 to 34 million in 2008. It says most of the religiously unaffiliated in the U.S. are not atheists, but "embrace philosophical and theological beliefs that reflect [...]
I’m Amazed … and Proud!
Hello Everyone, this is Cheryl Montgomery-Nolan posting from New Zealand. We just facilitated our version of "Class" this past weekend, and I am truly astounded by the courage I saw. It can be difficult to talk about, much less to actually feel the feelings that we want to ignore, can't it? But once again those [...]
Stop and Smell the Roses
“We’re so engaged in doing things to achieve purposes of outer value that we forget that the inner value, the rapture that is associated with being alive, is what it’s all about.” – Joseph Campbell "Learn to pause… or nothing worthwhile will catch up to you." – Doug King
Attitude is Everything!
“Everything can be taken from a man or a woman but one thing: the last of human freedoms to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” – Viktor Frankl Our attitude is one of those wonderful things in life that we have 100% control over! We can always [...]
Playing the Victim
"People are only a victim the first time. After that they are a volunteer!" – Thomas Leonard (the late, great coach t) Ouch, but true. If we don’t know what’s going on inside of us, and around us, we can end up playing the victim a LOT! — Sign up for Cheryl’s daily Quotes-4-Life series… [...]
EQ Answers
These are some of the situations where EQ can help. Are you feeling the Downs, but not the Ups? Are your feelings kinda Flat or Tamped down? Would you like to experience more Highs in your life? Want to find out how Choose your Feelings better? Do you feel that you are a Victim to [...]
love
what indeed is love? a warm and tender feeling in the pit of your stomach? a feeling of compassion for another? all the above and much much more . from the rays of sunshine on your face to the breaching of a whale and the sound of a baby cooing and laughing . it is [...]
emotional intelligence test
Here’s a quick, 7-question quiz, to determine your basic level of EQ. How well do you deal with your Feelings and Emotions? Rate yourself between 1 and 5 in each of the following seven areas. 1: not at all 3: so-so 5: totally and completely 1. Awareness When your body feels something (fear, anger, sadness, [...]
Great Quotes
“BITTERNESS is like cancer. It eats upon the host. But ANGER is like fire. It burns all clean.” – Maya Angelou “Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we’re here we might as well DANCE!” – Maya Angelou “The honorary duty of a human being is to love.” – [...]
Happiness Quotes
"Don't put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket, keep it in your own." — "Happiness isn't about waiting for the storm to pass… It's about learning how to dance in the rain"
We Are The World
Here’s one of the greatest songs ever recorded! I just found this link on Twitter yesterday, but I’ve now listened to it about 10x, REALLY LOUD… and it still gives me chills (with all those amazing artists, it’s Cyndy Lauper’s climax that always gets me!). I saved it as a Favorite, for an instant pick-me-up [...]
It’s about us!
To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.” – Robert Muller Forgiveness is for US, not so much for the person we’re forgiving! Love is for US, not as much for the person we’re loving! Giving is for US, not as much for the [...]
Feel It to Heal It.
We’ve found ways to safely & profoundly Feel & Release big negative feelings, both past and present, to bring Relief (often permanently). These concepts were first developed by Alfred Adler, Sigmund Freud‘s partner. Adler found babies are born "clean" – happy, powerful, totally in touch with emotions – but pain builds as we grow and [...]
Blogging, the Blog Squad Way
I went to a presentation this morning at the Mendocino Coast Writer’s Conference where Denise Wakeman described how to effectively manage Social Media. “If you can’t be found online, you don’t exist.” Main Points: Make the Blog the main focal point of our “platform”. Use Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn as tools to drive traffic to [...]
How to ‘Process’ out Negative Feelings
Step 1. Awareness Step 2. Acceptance Step 3. Feel and Release Step 4. Refresh and Rejoice! "We gotta Feel it to Heal it!" To ‘really’ get into your Feelings, ask yourself these 3 questions (slowly). 1. Who or what are Hurt you the most? 2. Who or what are you most Afraid of? 3. Who [...]
EQ is the Bomb!!
If we wanna be Happy, we HAVE to get in touch with our feelings and emotions! (no matter how uncomfortable it can be at times.) If we wanna be Successful, we HAVE to get in touch with our feelings and emotions! (or we can’t be Real, even with ourselves.) If we wanna be Powerful, we [...]
Happy Birthday to the Late Great "coach t”
"I decided that my work (as a coach and writer) was something that I wanted to do for the rest of my life. And enjoying my 3 best friends. Having a dog, (currently a Maltese named Fringe). Being a nice person forever, no matter what someone says or does. Constantly experimenting with new ideas and [...]
Self-Acceptance
I must learn to love the fool in me. The one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes & loses often, lacks self-control, loves & hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises & breaks promises, laughs and cries. It alone protects me against that utterly self-controlled, masterful tyrant whom I [...]
Emotional Awareness Gives Us Choices!
"I am not what happened to me. I am what I choose to become." – Carl Jung We all have had bad stuff happen to us, and events that cause us emotional pain and anger. HOWEVER, we get to CHOOSE what we DO with our feelings, emotions and belief systems! We can: Generalize Victimize Blame [...]
It’s Up to You
To the question of your life, you are the only answer. To the problems of your life, you are the only solution. Nobody can fix you but you. Nobody can make you happy but you. Nobody can even help you but you. It’s up to you. What if everything that happened to you, and even [...]
2 Kinds of Guilt: Punishing vs. Productive
Guilt can be Good or Bad. There are Two (2) Kinds of Guilt: 1. Punishing Guilt — when you're Trashing yourself and beating yourself up for something you did, or didn't do. 2. Productive Guilt – when you are Learning your lesson, taking the consequences of your actions boldly and maturely, and vowing inside yourself [...]
Dr. Phil’s Neighborhood
@DrPhil “We live right down the street from MJ’s house. Big crowds very somber. Cops all over. Family must be in such shock and pain.” We owe Dr. Phil as he single-handedly brought therapy and emotional intelligence to the masses!
WHAT ARE YOUR 3 MAIN POINTS?
Last week, I asked our ND grads: “If you had a chance to teach the world only 3 of the most vital concepts about emotional intelligence, the 3 most important things you’ve learned/realized, what would they be?” Valerie 1. "The past is not dead, it's not even the past." – William Faulkner 2. "Your are [...]
Positive Emotions
When Needs and Desires are Fulfilled, One Tends to Feel: from http://SuccessWithDepression.com/positive-emotions/ Absorbed Encouraged Jubilant Adventurous Energetic Longing Affectionate Engrossed Loving Alert Enlivened Mellow Alive Enthusiastic Merry Amazed Exalted Mirthful Amused Excited Moved Animated Exhilarated Open Appreciated Expansive Optimistic Aroused Expectant Overjoyed Astonished Exuberant Overwhelmed Blissful Fascinated Peaceful Buoyant Friendly Proud Breathless Fulfilled Radiant Calm [...]
We Have More Control Than We Think
"Nothing is good or bad but by comparison." – Thomas Fuller We have 100% CONTROL over our Judgments, Attitudes and Belief Systems. Therefore, it is 100% our RESPONSIBILITY to manage these areas of our lives.
Living In “Learning Mode”
The Talmud says that the wisest among people are the ones who learn from all. There are spiritual and emotional lessons to be learned from everything and everybody. An open heart and an open mind can collect great experiences and wonderful knowings.
Lord’s Prayer
Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For [...]
Who Makes You Happy?
Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom. – Marcel Proust
Twitters Away!
Ok, sorry, I haven't been posting because I've been Twitterin' and Tweetin'. It's fun. follow me. #MattPerelstein (wow, that's a cool statement, "follow me", for that means I have somewhere to take you… And that I do… follow me… into the depths inside us. our feelings, our heart, our passions and our soul.)
2GetHelp Lives!
We just changed the name of our non-profit to 2GetHelp, Inc. Our purpose is to show the world the wonder and joy of mental health and emotional intelligence education. Our IRS application for a 501(c)(3) non-profit status is complete and we hope to have that in place very soon. I am very excited about moving [...]
Types of Emotion
Emotion, without content, or resolution = DRAMA Emotion, in order to release, and heal = VENTING Emotion, for the purpose of hurting others, getting them to ‘like’ you or for emotional blackmail = MANIPULATION Emotion, for the purpose of making things happen and changing the world = PASSION Emotion, for the purpose of loving, giving, [...]
I Wish You Happiness
My wish for you is that you succeed beyond your wildest imagination. And that you find love in places that astound you. That you have friends who call you "just because." I dream that you go barefoot more than you wear shoes. That you play as hard as you work. And that you laugh more [...]
Conquering Fear
“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you’ve imagined!” – Thoreau “The best way out is always through.” – Robert Frost "Action conquers fear." – Peter Nivio Zarlenga
Choosing to Care
We are different because we Choose to Care. We open our hearts to others… why? because it’s fun, it increases the LOVE in our lives, and because we know that the People in our lives are pretty much THE most important thing to us. So we open ourselves to love… we open our hearts to [...]
Notice What you Feel. Not how, but WHAT, specifically.
Awareness that we Feel What are you feeling right now? happy, sad, calm, afraid, angry, worried, depressed? (stop reading for a sec, close your eyes and feel. just Notice what your body is feeling right now…. go) Were you able to notice some things about how you feel? Were you able to Identify which your [...]
It’s not just how Smart you are, anymore.
“Since Daniel Goleman published his landmark book " IQ for predicting success" Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ" in 1995, the focus in psychology has shifted away from measuring IQ alone to evaluating what is known as Emotional Quotient, or EQ. While emotional intelligence cannot be measured as good, bad, right or [...]
Powerful vs. Powerless
We are absolutely powerless to change others. But we are absolutely powerful to change ourselves. – M.K. Doc Downing, Ph.D, LMFT
Love is a Decision
Yesterday we talked about Love or Fear, Take your Pick. Well, it turns out that there are whole schools of personal growth who believe that there are ONLY 2 emotions: Love and Fear. One of the books that helped change my life was Gerald Jampolsky’s "LOVE IS LETTING GO OF FEAR". This book described in [...]
Love or Fear – take your pick
There are 2 basic ways to live your life… FEAR-Based: Afraid of what MIGHT happen, and what other people MIGHT think of you. – or – LOVE-Based: Full of life, with people around you, and oodles of love for yourself and others. You are TOTALLY in control of which way you choose to live. Are [...]
Where is your Focus?
Here’s a new one… Guilt is about the Past. Shame is about the Present. Fear is about the Future. * We might feel Guilty about something we DID, or DIDn’t do, in the past. * We might feel Shame about who we are, in the moment. * And we experience Fear of things that MIGHT [...]
I’m not showing off, here
I’ve been out there in the Feeling trenches for over 20 years now — digging through anguish, pain, rage, sorrow, grief, guilt and shame. The good news is that we do it in a way that encourages the positive and manages the negative, where I am doing my part to help people feel better about [...]
when my body needs to scream… I let it.
we have found some amazingly simple, practical, common-sencicle ways of being happy… it’s called Dealing with your Feelings. directly and maturely. that’s it, bottom line. it’s not much more complicated than that. when our body needs to go to the bathroom, we don’t fight it. when our body wants to rest, we let it (well, [...]
Speaking of Maslow…
… and speaking of Maslow, let’s take a look at his: Maslow’s Hierarchy of Human Needs. 1. Food, Water & Air 2. Personal Safety, Shelter & Security 3. Belonging & Emotional Safety 4. Self-Esteem 5. Self-Actualization or per the Learning Fountain… PHYSIOLOGICAL – Basic living needs, such as food, water, oxygen and sex. SAFETY – [...]
Self-Actualization
I believe I have met people who are truly Self-Actualization, in maslow’s context. in fact, i believe i am one. it’s about being as happy as you can possibly be, given your circumstances. it’s about feeling fully expressed and fully present, pretty much all the time. it’s about knowing ourselves, accepting ourselves, and enjoying ourselves, [...]
i love who I am now
i love who I am now (didn’t used to). I love who I have become. no, I’m not perfect, far from it. but even better than perfect, I am Accepting of me. If i do good, i praise me. if i don’t, i reprimand me (but not too harshly). We: there’s [...]
$3.3M Club
I am planning to amass $3.3 Million, and I will not stop until I do. I believe that will be enough money to handle all my family’s needs now and in the future. I will not stop there, but the rest I will give away. I just officially started a $3.3M Club for all of [...]
If you had a non-profit, without budgetary limitations, what would you have it do?
we will be applying for a 501c3 within the next month. help me word it correctly. help me dream it correctly. if YOU had a non-profit, without any budgetary limitations, what would you have it do? I don’t want to focus on just 1 county or city, I want this to be National. All americans [...]
EQ can work at work!
"Now in order that people may be happy in their work, these three things are needed: 1. They must be fit for it. 2. They must not do too much of it. 3. They must have a sense of success in it — not a doubtful sense, such as needs some testimony of others for [...]
Awareness, however, is NOT the last Key to change !!
Ok, now that we know, we have the responsibility to Do. those who know, lead those who do not. those who can, lead. leaders lead and leaders follow other leaders. …and we teach each others to be leaders. that is the point here. it’s all about us, and it’s not, at the same time. we [...]
EQ is the bomb
Emotional intelligence (EQ), can matter as much as IQ in determining a person’s well-being and effectiveness in life. – Dr. Claude Steiner "Emotional Literacy; Intelligence with a Heart" (free online book) I used to say that EQ > IQ, but now I say: IQ + EQ = Happiness and Success in Life. (and it’s not [...]
Anger Management
Managing Anger by Seeing the Unseen Cause by Mike C. Powers http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Managing_Anger_by_Seeing_the_Unseen_Cause.html Read this really good article about what’s “beneath” our anger… what drives it… what underlying intentions we may have that can “fuel” our anger. here’s another on: Managing Anger by Understanding the Different Ways People Express Anger http://www.selfmadeeasy.com/managing_anger.cfm see also: Anger Management Tips [...]
Why bother?
I am writing this because it’s fun for me. I am writing this because it needs to be said. I am writing this because I have a ton of Love inside me, that wants to come out… so it’s spewn everywhere. I am writing this because i care. I am writing this because [...]
I’m an EQ junkie, here’s why…
can we change our IQ? maybe a touch. can we change our physical health? sometimes. can we improve our Emotional health and well-being? Heck Yeah !! can we get better Results, and feel more Successful in life? Yep, whenever we Decide to. can we change our Spiritual awakening? yes. [...]
Giving = Love !!
"It’s not how much we give but how much love we put into giving." – Mother Teresa Yes! The Giving is really for Us, not as much Them. it’s about US enjoying it, letting it fill us up, to Believe, to Care, to open up, to connect. Giving = Love !! and [...]
Using Anger Wisely
i can let some anger in, as long as I manage it. I have to ensure that it doesn’t control my life, and it doesn’t get to take over my life. but there does need to be a sense of it. the knowledge and acceptance of it. and the ability to focus it. [...]
US -– us, Us, US, USA !!
us – closer to an “I”, but with an us-attitude. It’s about knowing ourselves, understanding our strengths and weaknesses, being clear on how and where we fit into the world, and how we can, and do, affect others. Keywords: Consciously Competent. Awake and Aware. Personally Responsible. eyes-wide-open. Team-player. good guy. dude. Us – 2 [...]
Know what I want?
Do you know what I want? I want you to listen to me. I want you to follow my lead. I want you to buy into the concept enough to promote it to others. OUR Feelings ARE THE KEY to intelligent, aware, and moderated behaviours. Those of us who know, become responsible for the rest. [...]
We Continuously Learn, Learn, Learn!
We are constantly in, what we call, “Learning Mode”, where we are open to new ideas, concepts and experiences. “Education is our passport to the future, for tomorrow belongs to the people who prepare for it today." – Malcolm X “Our progress as a nation can be no swifter than our progress in education." [...]
Emotional Intelligence for all!
I just learned that over 80% of all prisoners in CA were once foster kids. 80%, damn !! … and I believe that some 50-70% of all crimes could be considered to be Emotion-based (drugs, violence, theft, etc.). Let’s: Educate prisoners Educate foster kids Educate parents and single moms Educate couples [...]
Love with your whole heart!
It’s better to love and feel ALL the emotions rather than not love for fear of the loss. – NS You can’t really feel the highs, if you can’t or won’t feel the lows. You’re living only half an existence. – Cheryl Montgomery-Nolan Fall seven times; stand up eight. – unknown
Advanced Relationship Training
Ok, so this weekend, we’re teaching the 5th in our year-long, 6-weekend series on Advanced Relationship Trainings (ART class). The subjects are: Leadership (quiz) What Story are you Living? Personal Commitment Among other things, we’ll all be doing a 15-minute presentation, to be encouraged and critiqued by the group. We’re striving to become the most [...]
Happiness is up to Me
Giving is all about me. Loving is all about me. Being nice is all about me. Being a good guy is all about me. it’s all all about me. I do good things, and I’m nice to people, and I give, and I’m trying to change the world – why? – ‘cause it’s fun. and [...]
Happiness is about Deciding
know why people have so much fun when they’re at a party or bar and/or drinkin’? because they decide to. they make a group decision, and personal decisions, to HAVE FUN, so they do. period. yes, the alcohol plays a factor in it, but still, they just Decide to have fun… so [...]
Happiness is about Facing ourselves
"I’ve finally come to understand that whatever happens, all those stumbling blocks, all these problems, have nothing to do with real happiness. Happiness is facing yourself and learning to love what you see, flaws and all. It’s taking enjoyment just from the process of being human." – Kelsey Grammar I keep saying that “it’s [...]
Happiness is about Understanding Fears our own and others, too.
Sometimes, understanding their fears helps me understand and accept their actions, as well as their pain. and Sometimes, understanding their fears helps me to understand, and accept, and conquer, my own.
Emotional Intelligence is only a thought away.
"It takes six seconds to manage anger. It takes six seconds to create compassion. It takes six seconds to change the world." Most of all, we want you to know that emotional intelligence is right there inside you — everyone has it, and everyone can learn to use it more effectively. While we deliver powerful [...]
What are you feeling?
Click the pic above to pick What are you feeling? graphic and make your own banner. … at the largest Emotional Intelligence network on the planet… Josh Freedman’s 6Seconds.org – Matt hint: wanna bump your friends’ heads? instead of greeting people with “Hi, how are you?”, ask “Hi, What are you feeling?”… people often pause, [...]
It really is “All About Me” !!
Our generation has been criticized for having an "All About Me" attitude. Well, I say we’re not Enuf "All About Me". or not in the right ways, at least. All About Me means that I take responsibility for my actions, and my behaviours, and my thots. All About Me shows that someone is home — [...]
New Blogger in Town!
Hello! I am Cheryl Montgmery-Nolan. My adopted spiritual brother Matt invited me to write a Guest Blog – so here I am. I thought I'd talk about excitement, and how important it is in our lives. Right now I'm extremely excited because I will be getting on a plane in 2 days and flying from [...]
I Despise Judgmental People!
It takes no strength to be judgmental. it takes no courage, either.it takes no class. it takes no style.it takes no brains. it takes no muscle. the only positive purpose I can see for Judging, is to educate yourself — to know how you do NOT want to be / do / have. It doesn’t [...]
Our fears are not walls, only warnings!
“Your fears are not walls, but hurdles. Courage is not the absence of fear, but the conquering of it.” – Dan Millman “Many of our fears are tissue-paper-thin, and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them.” – Brendan Francis
Processing Feelings
Here’s how they say to do therapy: 1. Listen attentively and nonjudgmentally2. Reassure about doubts and misgivings3. Restructure any associated negative thoughts4. Help to normalize reactions through acknowledgement and validation but, imho, there are a few steps missing here, namely the FEELING part. here’s how we “process” our feelings: 1. We make it safe and [...]
Asking for Help
Ever have trouble asking others to help you out? “Asking for help doesn’t mean that we are weak or incompetent. It usually indicates an advanced level of honesty and intelligence.” – Anne Wilson Schaef “The healthy, the strong individual, is the one who asks for help when he needs it. Whether he has an [...]
Happy or Rich?
“Would you like to be happy, or rich?” Happiness and monetary wealth seem to be polar opposites to a lot of people, particularly those of fundamentalist religious backgrounds who believe that you “cannot serve God and mammon both” or eastern philosophies that urge “detachment to material things”. I’ve looked at both ideas from inside out [...]
Empty Tanks / Full Tanks
Emotional stuff to get rid of… the tanks we want to be empty: anger resentment protest guilt shame powerlessness Emotional stuff to bring to us (manufacture, create, allow)… the tanks we want to be Full! joy peace security peace love self-esteem cool-nicity … and the best part, is that whether our Tanks are empty or [...]
Emotional Intelligence can be learned!
We have made some real breakthroughs in emotional intelligence training, and have found that this 1 skill, alone, can make a Hugely Profound impact on people’s lives. Using simple, basic techniques we have successfully healed: Depression Out-of-control Anger, Sadness and Victim-nicity Debilitating Fear Life-trashing Guilt and Shame Low, and even self-abusive, Self-esteem Hopelessness, Powerlessness and [...]
So, what are we “selling”?
I'm sorry… I seem to always come across too salesy. like I'm "selling" ND and EQ… I try to tone it down a bit, 'cause I don't like it when others push their product on me. but the truth is that I really am selling… However,I'm not selling me or us 2u… I'm selling You [...]
New Directions Workshop Dates, 2009
ND's Feb. 22 Apr. 24 June 26 Aug. 21 Nov. 6 The most impactful emotional training you can get in just 1 weekend.
Happiness
Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude. – Denis Waitley — Stop living life for what’s around the corner and start enjoying the walk down the street. – Grant L. Miller
Emotional Decision Time
“When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.” – Audre Lorde Which is more important – our Fear or our Results? With emotional intelligence, we get to decide.
Ultimate Selfishness: The art of getting everything you want, and everyone wins!
Ultimate Selfishness (aka U.S. or us — both good concepts, ey?!?) is about how to make YOUR life look, and more importantly FEEL, as Great as you want it to. It's about going inside yourself and finding what's truly Important, and Passionate, and Essential to you, and making that happen. It's about understanding and Accepting [...]
Happy Christmas, Everyone!
Ever wonder how we say Happy Birthday, Happy Halloween, Happy St. Patrick’s Day, Happy Thanksgiving, Happy Valentine’s Day, Happy New Year, but we say “Merry Christmas”? I have, but I have no idea why. Do you? In Europe, they say Happy Christmas, too. Anyway, I like the word Happy, and that’s what I wish for [...]
Why some men are more aggressive than others
Article:Genes plus environment during childhood may help explain bad behavior The study findings imply that even though a child may have a genetically related increased susceptibility for conduct problems, affectionate and loving parents can negate this increased susceptibility, Manuck said. “We can’t change our genes, but perhaps we can change our rearing environment. Full Article: [...]
NEW! Emotional Support Network
Hi. Join us! We just started a new and exciting online Emotional Support Network on ning.com. SueW has already posted hundreds of helpful resources, articles, quotes, etc. all about Emotional Intelligence, and people are gathering to talk, chat and share. Join us! It’s free and easy, and it could become one of the most powerful [...]
Improving Character
In attempts to improve your character, know what is in your power and what is beyond it. – Francis Thompson The greatest of faults, I should say, is to be conscious of none. – Thomas Carlyle “Since God chose you to be the holy people whom He loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, [...]
Thankfullness
A thankful heart is not only the greatest virtue, but the parent of all the other virtues. – Cicero If the only prayer you said in your whole life was “thank you,” that would suffice. – Meister Eckhart When you are grateful, fear disappears and abundance appears. – Anthony Robbins
Intimacy and Communication Skills
The 5 Steps to Intimacy as taught at our ND workshop. Appreciate the Importance of Feelings Know / Identify your Feelings Accept your Feelings Express your Feelings in Positive Ways Help Others with their Feelings – Communication and Intimacy Yes, it’s all about ME, but we can get kinda lonely without a WE.So, WE can [...]
EQ begets Success!
From The Business Case for Emotional Intelligence By: Cary Cherniss http://www.eiconsortium.org/reports/business_case_for_ei.html For 515 senior executives analyzed by the search firm Egon Zehnder International, those managers who were primarily strong in emotional intelligence were more likely to succeed than those who were strongest in either relevant previous experience or IQ. In other words, emotional [...]
It’s in your Feelings!
want enlightenment and self-actualiation? it's in your feelings.want to find the meaning of life? it's in your feelings.want your relationships to work? it's in your feelings.want peace, serenity and joy? it's in your feelings.want success and financial abundance? it's in your feelings.want self-esteem, self-awareness, self-acceptance, and self-mastery? it's in your feelings.want to feel brave, powerful, [...]
Be Honest With Yourself!
"No man, for any considerable period, can wear one face to himself, and another to the multitude, without finally getting bewildered as to which may be true." - Nathaniel Hawthorne "You cannot fake a relationship and feel right with yourself or anyone else. Changing yourself to fit what you think other people want doesn’t work. [...]
Inspired Living
Together, as Americans, let's create the emotional support network to teach the world that EQ > IQ. Will you help? When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all your thoughts break their bonds; your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction, and you find yourself in a new, great and wonderful [...]
EQ > IQ !!
that's it!that's what I want to say to the world… EQ > IQ !! High IQ is cool.High EQ is better. Feelings are more important than thoughts.Feelings are us.Feelings can and will have more effect on our life.We are our Feelings. And we can actually Make ourselves Smarter about our feelings…… that will effect us [...]
Propaganda
T-shirts for us, not them. I'd like to make "stuff" – T-shirts, cups, pens, etc – with some cool sayings we have. EQ > IQ Feelings are Good! Guilt is Optional. Anger is second. What do you really feel? Don't Eat That, find something better. It's OK to have Boundaries. I am not a Control Freak. [...]
The terrorists are winning…
Our country is a mess. People feel alone. People feel afraid. People feel powerless. Suicide rates are up. The economy is bad, and getting worse. People are really hurting. But, I believe we can do something about it. In general, we Americans are fairly clueless about how to handle, and manage, our Feelings & Emotions, [...]
Let’s build the safest, most effective Emotional Support Network ever created!
10 Premises to Changing the World 1. Emotional Intelligence is the key to happiness, sanity and success in life. (EQ > IQ) 2. We all have 100% control over our choices in what we feel, and how we view the world. 3. It’s more fun if we do this life thing Together. 4. True emotional [...]
Feelings are a Good Thing!
“Character isn’t inherited. One builds it daily by the way one thinks and acts, thought by thought, action by action. If one lets fear or hate or anger take possession of the mind, they become self-forged chains.” – Helen Douglas “Too often we underestimate how quickly our feelings are going to change because we underestimate [...]
Giving is the key!
Aspire to inspire before you expire.
Believe in Yourself
“We cannot rise higher than our thought of ourselves.” – Orison Swett Marden “We do not believe in ourselves until someone reveals that deep inside us something is valuable, worth listening to, worthy of our trust, sacred to our touch. Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight or any experience [...]
Feelings are the Key!
Helping you understand how emotions have a direct and profound effect on how well you perform on the job and in life, this book presents great techniques to advance emotional self-awareness and tips on building self-esteem and confidence. – By Jeff Feldman and Karl Mulle (Books24x7) Put Emotional Intelligence to Work: Equip Yourself for Success
Waving Wednesday
The #1 easiest way to bring a smile to someone’s face, with the least effort from you, is to WAVE to them. Yes, just smile a bit and move your hand back and forth, and PRESTO! you could make someone’s day. So, it’s Waving Wednesday. Wave to someone you don’t know. Everyone wins.
Caring for Ourselves, first
When we truly care for ourselves, it becomes possible to care far more profoundly about other people. The more alert and sensitive we are to our own needs, the more loving and generous we can be towards others. – Eda LeShan Anything good for you brings out the best in you and does not force [...]
Anger Management Skills That Work
Anger issues affect individuals from childhood to adulthood, and it is necessary to teach anger management skills that work for every age group. One skill that tends to help people deal with negative emotions is acupressure…. Adopting positive anger management skills might involve keeping a journal…. Removing yourself from a threatening situation might eliminate the [...]
Get High on Happiness
‘Knowing Thyself’ Can Lead to Happiness Powerful tools to a joyous life are being in touch with your inner self, God, and spirituality. Imagine you bought a new car and after six months it starts to get very sluggish. You take it to the mechanic and he recommends a good wash and wax. “What? Are [...]
Understanding Emotions Improves Our Food Choices
Pictures Of Hot Fudge Sundaes Arouse Emotions! Authors Blair Kidwell, David M. Hardesty, and Terry L. Childers (all University of Kentucky) examined the “emotional intelligence” of consumers, including obese people. They found that people who made the healthiest choices had high correlations between their emotional intelligence and confidence in their emotional intelligence—what the authors call [...]
Who uses Emotional Intelligence in Business?
The answer … we all do! Our emotions help us to adapt and make sense of situations. The evidence that an individual’s feelings affects others and that these feelings in turn affect performance highlights the importance of being aware of and managing our emotions. Leaders, salespeople, parents – anyone concerned with their influence on others. [...]
CEOs Value EQ over IQ
“How bosses train to be the best” Generally, CEOs assume there is a certain base level of IQ among all corporate leaders. Most therefore value emotional intelligence (EQ) over IQ as a way of discriminating between great leaders. However, with a few notable exceptions, CEOs do not have a deep understanding of emotional intelligence and [...]
To love and Be loved
There is only one happiness in life: to love and be loved. – George Sand
Emotions
“No other personal characteristic of the Self has such a clear line of connection to the Soul than emotions.” “Anger is a legitimate feeling and emotional expression. We can use anger to help and heal or we can use anger to manipulate and destroy. Anger can distance us from others. Anger can connect us to [...]
Choices
Our lives are a sum total of the choices we have made. – Wayne Dyer This may be new information for some folks! But it’s true that we are where we are, and who we are, due to the choices we have made in the past. We may be pleased with some of them, and [...]
Learn to be Aware
“You can live a lifetime and, at the end of it, know more about other people than you know about yourself.” – Beryl Markham Who am I? What’s important to me? What do I feel strongest about? To answer this, we must first learn to become more aware of ourselves and our feelings. To be [...]
Be Kind to Yourself
Perfectionism is self-abuse of the highest order. Ann Wilson Schaef
2Get, Give!
2GiveHelp.com (proposed) 2Give, without Sacrifice 2Give, without Guilt 2Give, without Burden you wanna REALLY enjoy your life… Give. you wanna feel REALLY loved, and appreciated… Give. you want to have TONS of friends, and people who know you and Like you… Give. We can show you how…
Feelings are the Bomb!
I’m gonna make a Bold statement here… are you ready… Our Feelings & Emotions are THE most important thing in our Entire Lives! “Feelings provide us with vital and potentially profitable information every minute of the day. This feedback from the heart, and not the head, is what ignites creative genius, keeps you honest with [...]
The 7 Steps to Healing our Feelings
How to Take Control of your Feelings and Emotions, One Step at a time. By Matt Perelstein July, 2008 Follow these 7 Simple (tho’ not Easy) steps to learn to “Deal with” your feelings & emotions, completely, effectively, and beautifully – 1 Awareness that we do Feel, a Lot: Get a Clue about the importance/depth [...]
Do yourself a Favor!
“You cannot create experience. You must undergo it. “ – Albert Camus, 1913-1960, French Author and Philosopher Wanna do yourself the biggest favor? Want to give yourself the very best possible gift you can? Get yourself to the New Directions workshop this weekend in Fresno, CA. “Ordinarily, everything we do is in our self-interest. Everything.” [...]
Emotional Intelligence is the key!
Less Crazy, More Sane. Less Different, More Same. More Power. Less Blame. More Joy, Less Pain. – mcp
Emotional Intelligence can Help!
“We’re learning that emotional intelligence is an important ingredient in helping professional athletes live healthy and successful lives.” “There is a massive correlation between high EQ skills and life success.” – Gene Upshaw, Executive Director, National Football League NFL Players Association, Emotional Intelligence Helps NFL Players “Win at Life” Improved EQ can help in sports, [...]
Know Thyself
The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change. – Carl Rogers The greatest happiness is to know the source of our unhappiness. – Dostoyevsky
You can heal your life
Awareness is the first step in healing or change. – Louise Hay What we think, and what we believe, is what will come true for us. Our thoughts create our lives. It’s that simple. And when we get that, we can make enormous changes. – Louise Hay “You can heal your life” DVD
Life Rules
Life only has 3 rules Paradox Life is a mystery, don’t waste time trying to figure it out Humor It is a strength beyond all measure. Change Know that nothing stays the same. – Dan Millman, “Way of the Peaceful Warrior”
Extreme Emotional Makeover – Summer Intensive
Announcement: We are sponsoring a powerful program this summer, to show the world how much learning and growth can happen in very short period of time! If you are chosen, you will be given intensive therapy, life coaching, reading materials, 2 weekend workshops, emotional support, and more, to help you BLAST thru your emotional issues [...]
Happiness — it’s up to you!
“If you expect the best, you will be the best. Learn to use one of the most powerful laws in this world; change your mental habits to belief instead of disbelief. Learn to expect, not to doubt. In so doing, you bring everything into the realm of possibility.” – Dr. Norman Vincent Peale “No pessimist [...]
Emotional Choices
Most of us have more choices, emotionally, than we ever thought possible! “When we know that the cause of something is in ourselves, and that we (ourselves) are one of the few things in the universe that we have the right and ability to change, we begin to get a sense of the choices we [...]
Confrontation: Everyone Hates it!
Want to get over your fear of confrontation? Learn how at Emotional Intelligence – Confronting What’s True See also the Blog link on EQ At Work for lots of cool tools and articles re: EQ. … and remember, and Dr. Phil says, “Attitude is Everything!”: Victor Frankel, who faced death daily in a Nazi concentration [...]
Laughter is good for your body!
No Joke: This Is Exercise Laugh away ticker trouble. from here. University of Maryland Medical Center researchers showed 20 healthy adults two movie scenes–one from the comedy Kingpin, the other a battle scene from Saving Private Ryan–while monitoring artery function. After viewing the funny clip, the volunteers’ blood vessels dilated by 22%; they constricted by [...]
PTSD: Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
extremely common in soldiers returning from war… from http://www.thesoldiersproject.org Signs of possible trouble (Service Member) Irritability, jumpiness Anger easily and “blow up” at loved ones or friends Feeling hyper-alert, needing to be careful, on the watch for danger Feeling emotionally flat, uninvolved with people, distant Feeling you can’t relate to life around you or to [...]
Laughter Heals!
Your Brain on Laughter How clowning around improves memory, mood, and motivation By Thomas Crook, PhD, Prevention “A good knee-slapper produces a chemical reaction that instantly elevates your mood, reduces pain and stress, and boosts immunity (suppressed by both stress and pain). A recent fMRI study by Allan L. Reiss, MD, and colleagues at Stanford [...]
Change Your Belief System
"All personal breakthroughs begin with a change in beliefs. So how do we change? The most effective way is to get your brain to associate massive pain to the old belief. You must feel deep in your gut that not only has this belief cost you pain in the past, but it’s costing you in [...]
Love is the Answer
“Remember, in our innermost being, we are all completely lovable because spirit is love. Beyond what anyone can make you think or feel about yourself, your unconditioned spirit stands, shining with a love nothing can tarnish.” – Deepak Chopra ————————————————————- “When mystics use the word love, they use it very carefully — in the deeply [...]
Attraction
“The secret of attraction is to love yourself. Attractive people judge neither themselves nor others. They are open to gestures of love. They think about love, and express their love in every action. They know that love is not a mere sentiment, but the ultimate truth at the heart of the universe.” – Deepak Chopra
Fear: How to Manage it!
When fears arise, use this quick acceptance process: 1. Acknowledge and really feel your fear without judging and criticizing yourself. 2. Ask what it’s there to tell you. Be alert for inner messages that will bring you greater understanding of the situation. 3. Be fully present. Are you okay in this moment? Relax into your [...]
Find Something Positive!
“Make a game of finding something positive in every situation. Ninety-five percent of your emotions are determined by how you interpret events to yourself.” – Brian Tracy
We’re doing it!
New office opens Thursday, May 1, as the 2GetHelp Wellness Center — Yeehaa! MEW Foundation, Inc’s was officially declared as a Corporation by the state of California Secretary of State, and we have a federal tax ID number. Doc Downing, PhD, LMFT, will be our first (and grandest) therapist! We’re officially advertising for additional therapist(s) [...]
Emotional Specialties
2GetHelp Wellness Center Our new center will hereby specialize in the following: – Depression: We have helped so many understand, fight, and win, against their depression, – going from hospital to happy – in only a year or two. This is for the girls, wives and moms of the world. – Anger: Anger has a [...]
OMG!
Nearly 1 in 5 troops has mental problems after war service – Yahoo! News http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080418/ap_on_go_ca_st_pe/troops_mental_health WASHINGTON – Roughly one in every five U.S. troops who have survived the bombs and other dangers of Iraq and Afghanistan now suffers from major depression or post-traumatic stress, an independent study said Thursday. It estimated the toll at 300,000 [...]
A new Company is Born!
As of yesterday, our new company is here to help show and tell the world about the wonders and joys of Emotional Intelligence!! MEW Foundation, Inc.’s 2GetHelp Wellness Center 2560 West Shaw Lane, Suite 105 Fresno, CA 93711-2777 (559) 431-9995 / (559) 431-9996 (fax) We already have a therapist on staff in the office and [...]
< Matt's Stuff
Choose a feeling. It returns a face and name. Just takes a sec. http://www.6seconds.org/feel/ – Matt
You Gotta Feel It, to Heal It(2)!
“Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts.” – Albert Einstein
The Meaning of Life
Wanna find the Meaning to life? Wanna know the Reason we are here? Wanna find the Answers to life’s great questions? Look inside your heart! When we are totally in-touch with our inner-most feelings, when we truly get to Know ourselves to the deepest depths of our soul, when we find the still and the [...]
Emotional Awareness
“Mindfulness means moment-to-moment, non-judgmental awareness. It is cultivated by refining our capacity to pay attention, intentionally, in the present moment, and then sustaining that attention over time as best we can. In the process, we become more in touch with our life as it is unfolding.” – Myla & Jon Kabat-Zinn a.k.a. Emotional Awareness
Self-Processing
I’m coining a new term, “Self-Processing: The art and skill of Processing yourself and “resolving” your negative feelings. Feeling Resolution is a process. a known, understood, step-by-step process that can be replicated, and measured (well, kinda). Issues = Unresolved feelings and emotions. – Resolving your own personal “life issues”, – Cleaning out your emotional “system” [...]
I don’t sing because I’m happy; I’M HAPPY because I sing.
“I don’t sing because I’m happy; I’m happy because I sing.” – William James, 1842-1910, American Philosopher and Psychologist — “Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair.” – Kahlil Gibran, 1883-1931, Lebanese Poet and Novelist
Feeling-based Medications
Top 20 Psychiatric Prescriptions for 2005 These are the top 20 psychiatric medications by number of U.S. prescriptions dispensed in 2005. Medication Used for… U.S. Prescriptions 1. Xanax Anxiety 34,230,000 2. Zoloft Depression, anxiety 26,976,000 3. Lexapro Depression, anxiety 24,788,000 4. Prozac Depression, anxiety 21,403,000 5. Ativan Anxiety, panic disorder 19,002,000 6. Effexor XR Depression, [...]
Let go of past pains!
“Even though you may want to move forward in your life, you may have one foot on the brakes. In order to be free, we must learn how to let go. Release the hurt. Release the fear. Refuse to entertain your old pain. The energy it takes to hang onto the past is holding you [...]
Emotional Growth
instead of Personal Growth, what if we call it Emotional Growth? it’s more descriptive and ties back in to our area of focus. We’re all about Feelings and Emotions. If you don’t like yours, if you think that Feelings are a bad thing… if you’re in denial about what’s happening inside you… you may want [...]
About Emotional Intelligence
Various definitions: “Emotional intelligence is the ability: to perceive emotions; to access and generate emotions so as to assist thought; to understand emotions and emotional knowledge; and to reflectively regulate emotions so as to promote emotional and intellectual growth.” Another says there are four parts: 1. Perceive or sense emotions, 2. Use emotions to assist [...]
Have a Child’s heart, and an Adult’s mind
“What a distressing contrast there is between the radiant intelligence of the child and the feeble mentality of the average adult.” – Sigmund Freud ouch… and oh sooo true! that’s why I like to hang around kids better!
I have a gripe… about Happiness.
I read a quote this morning… “Happiness comes only when we push our brains and hearts to the farthest reaches of which we are capable.” – Leo C. Rosten sounds good, right? well, I say, “BULL“. I don’t buy that. I can choose to do nothing whatsoever, and still be totally Happy and at peace. [...]
It’s up to us, baby!
As your eyes open, you’ll see that your state of health, happiness, and every circumstance of your life has been, in large part, arranged by you — consciously or unconsciously.” – Dan Millman — “To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation [...]
The Ultimate Freedom!
“Our ultimate freedom is the right and power to decide how anybody or anything outside ourselves will affect us.” – Stephen Covey ————————————————————- “Freedom is what you do with what’s been done to you.” – Jean-Paul Sartre ————————————————————- “One cannot make a slave of a free person, for a free person is free even in [...]
Attitude is Everything!
“Happiness is an attitude of mind, born of the simple determination to be happy under all outward circumstances.” – J. Donald Walters — The last of the human freedoms is to choose one’s attitudes. – Victor Frankl — Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character. – Albert Einstein — “If a person gets his attitude [...]
Love is about being open!
Love is about open arms. If you close your arms about love, you will find that you are left holding only yourself. – Leo Buscaglia Being wide open, at all times, ain’t easy, and frankly it ain’t all that smart, either. Learn how to be open, when the time is right, or even by default, [...]
I am happy.
I have a life. I make a life. every day. I have a great job, the best I’ve ever had. I work part-time, telecommuting from home, it pays well, is challenging, important and resume-enhancing. I run 4 businesses: EucProducts ND – my fave! Computer Consulting building 2GH I have a 700+ post blog, and building [...]
What is Happiness?
Happiness is an Attitude Happiness is a Lifestyle Choice. Happiness is a Way of Being. Happiness is a Skill. Happiness is an Art. Happiness is Classy. Happiness has Style, and Grace, and Beauty. Happiness is Fun, and Silly, and Skippy, and having a Blast, pretty often. Happiness is about Allowing and Releasing Negative Feelings, to [...]
We Must Teach People How to Be with Us
Maxim for life: You get treated in life the way you teach people to treat you. – Wayne Dyer, American Psychotherapist/Author/Lecturer If you think badly of yourself, others will instinctively treat you badly, too. But, if you value yourself, your opinions, your heart and your mind, others will USUALLY treat you the same way.
Emotions are the next frontier!
“By starving emotions we become humorless, rigid and stereotyped; by repressing them we become literal, reformatory and holier-than-thou; encouraged, they perfume life; discouraged, they poison it.” – Joseph Collins ————————————————————- “Emotions are the next frontier to be understood and conquered. To manage our emotions is not to drug them or suppress them, but to understand [...]
Emotional Intelligence = Taking Control of your Life!
The difference between great people and everyone else is that great people create their lives actively, while everyone else is created by their lives, passively waiting to see where life takes them next. The difference between the two is the difference between living fully and just existing. – Michael E. Gerber The key is a [...]
Get out of your own muck and help someone else!
“An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity.” – Martin Luther King, Jr. Tired of your own pain and issues? Try reaching out to help someone else! No matter how bad it is for you, there are always [...]
Create Your World
True brilliance, Matt, is not a function of understanding one’s view of the world and finding order, logic, and spirituality in it. True brilliance is understanding that your view of order, logic, and spirituality is what created your world. And therefore you are forever capable of changing everything. The Universe
The Bucket List
The Bucket List, starring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman. It is bittersweet because these guys are dying of cancer, but it is also comical as they go about fulfilling the items on their list of what they want to accomplish before they “kick the bucket.” The biggest takeaway: Don’t wait, or waste, another minute! Make [...]
Love is a friendship caught on fire
“Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable.” – Bruce Lee ! Love really is the answer. Whatever the question, Love should [...]
DECIDE to be Happy!
“Most people are about as happy as they make up their mind to be.” – Abraham Lincoln Decide, now, that you will do whatever it takes, change whatever you need to, face whatever you need to, to be Happy, finally, in this lifetime. Emotional Intelligence is the key to happiness.
You Gotta Feel It, to Heal It!
“The key is to not resist or rebel against emotions or to try to get around them by devising all sorts of tricks; but to accept them directly, as they are.” – Takahisa Kora “Instead of resisting any emotion, the best way to dispel it is to enter it fully, embrace it and see through [...]
People are our Mirror
“The people we are in relationship with are always a mirror, reflecting our own beliefs, and simultaneously we are mirrors reflecting their beliefs. So relationship is one of the most powerful tools for growth… if we look honestly at our relationships we can see so much about how we have created them.” – Shakti Gawain
2008 Priorities
“Getting in touch with our true selves must be our first priority!” – Tom Hopkins — We know nothing until we know all the ways that we’re not who we should be. Only then do we have a chance at becoming the people we’ve wanted to be, and God intended us to be, from the [...]
Emotional Criticism
“Never react emotionally to criticism. Analyze yourself to determine whether it is justified. If it is, correct yourself. Otherwise, go on about your business.” – Norman Vincent Peale
Wanna be Heard?
Nobody cares how much you know, until they know how much you care. – Theodore Roosevelt, 1858-1919, 26th President of the United States
It’s not the Content, it’s the Delivery!
My wife and I have an ongoing struggle about this… You see, I get my feelings hurt, pretty easily. Because I “hear” the different inflexions in voice, energy and body language, because I believe I the “see” the rest of what is being said, I often get my feelings hurt, or get angry, at her [...]
Quotes from Famous People
“Truth is like the sun. You can shut it out for a time, but it ain’t goin’ away.” – Elvis Presley “I do not seek. I find.” – Pablo Picasso Wisdom is the supreme part of happiness. – Sophocles “The man who has no imagination has no wings.” – Muhammad Ali
The ABC’s of Healthy Attitudes
void negative sources, people, places, things and habits. Believe in yourself. Consider things from every angle. Don’t give up and don’t give in. Enjoy life to the fullest! Family and friends are hidden treasures; enjoy their company. Give more than you are expected to. Hang on to your dreams. Ignore those who try to discourage [...]
Ten Ways To Do What You Love
1. Do what you love. 2. Provide a service to others who do what you love. 3. Teach others to do what you love. 4. Write about what you love. 5. Speak about what you love. 6. Create a product related to what you love. 7. Sell or broker what you love. 8. Promote what [...]
Give yourself a Break!
“We have the need to be accepted and to be loved by others, but we cannot accept and love ourselves. The more self-love we have, the less we will experience self-abuse. Self-abuse comes from self-rejection, and self-rejection comes from having an image of what it means to be perfect and never measuring up to that [...]
I Like My Job
George Carlin sayz, “My job is to think up goofy shit, come back here, and report it to you!” I say, “My job is feel emotional shit, and come back here, and report it to you!”
Awareness is the First Key to Change
“Insight occurs when, and to the degree that, one knows oneself.” – Andrew Schneider ————————————————————- “We are not what we know. We are what we are willing to learn.” – Council on Ideas ————————————————————- “The ultimate value of life depends upon awareness and the power of contemplation rather than upon mere survival.” – Aristotle
Failure to Launch
Failure = inability to manage and control your own self, your own body, your own feelings Failure = losing the battle with your inner demons Failure = letting your fears and your stress take over your life and beat you down Failure = allowing the unresolved feelings from your past to ruin your present, and [...]
The Last Great Adventure on Earth – the Journey Inside Ourselves!
Of course, anger can always be justified. But then, so can forgiveness. Just depends on how much more you want from the adventure.
How Judging Yourself and Others Can Ruin Your Live
How Judging Yourself and Others Can Ruin Your Live By Bernadine Glori Celis I made a big revelation this week. I became aware of how much my judgments were affecting the way I felt about others and myself. I have been in counseling and support groups for many years of my life. I am now [...]
Turn Barriers Into Bridges
Only the person who never gives up in life, who persists with his wish to find and fulfill the promise of himself, makes this truly self-liberating discovery: those places that he once mistook as being impassible barriers to his happiness become as bridges to the same, but only if he learns to welcome them as [...]
Know Yourself!
“Knowing others is wisdom; knowing the self is enlightenment.” – Tao Te Ching “What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself” – Abraham H. Maslow
Know God
The idea of God is different in every person. The joy of my recovery was to find God within me. – Angela L. Wozniak Tho’ we don’t preach, or even teach, about God much, getting closer to yourself – finding your inner peace and removing your blocks to intimacy – allows you to Experience your [...]
Inspire Me
“I learned… that inspiration does not come like a bolt, nor is it kinetic, energetic, striving, but it comes to us slowly and quietly and all the time, though we must regularly and every day give it a little chance to start flowing, prime it with a little solitude and idleness.” – Brenda Ueland Not [...]
The Season
“The truth is that for all the stress surrounding this season, it’s kind of exhilarating when you finally do find just the right present for someone we love, or our home-cooked meal gets oohs and aahs at the table, or we walk through our family’s front door as a grown-up who actually knows our own [...]
In Control
“The most self-destructive thought that any person can have is thinking that he or she is not in total control of his or her life. – Roger Dawson No one is in control of your happiness but you; therefore, you have the power to change anything about yourself or your life that you want to [...]
Thanks!
“What if you gave someone a gift, and they neglected to thank you for it–would you be likely to give them another? Life is the same way. In order to attract more of the blessings that life has to offer, you must truly appreciate what you already have.” – Ralph Marston Give thanks for all [...]
Should I, or Should I not?
“Most people are so busy knocking themselves out trying to do everything they think they should do, they never get around to do what they want to do.” – Kathleen Winsor Bad Shoulds = those that stick in our heads, usually in someone else’s voice but that we don’t want to do… or don’t even [...]
You Are All You Need to Be!
“Everything you need you already have. You are complete right now, you are a whole, total person, not an apprentice person on the way to someplace else.” – Wayne Dyer “Who you really are is enough.” – Oriah Mountain Dreamer “Wherever you are is always the right place. There is never a need to fix [...]
Leo Buscaglia, A Tribute
Only when we give joyfully, without hesitation or thought of gain, can we truly know what love means. – Leo Buscaglia, 1924-1998, American Author and Expert on Love and Human Relationships This is a loving tribute to one of the greatest teachers of LOVE and living Life to the fullest. A Cheerleader for Life! Leo [...]
EI101.com
Just so you’ll know (and it’s easier to refer your friends, hint, hint): We’re now EI101.com This site can now be reached using the address http://www.EI101.com. My intention is to write an emotional intelligence training course called EI101… and follow it with EI102, EI201, EI301 & EI401… all of which I recently registered. stay tuned! [...]
Are you Teachable?
“The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn.” – Alvin Toffler Part of Emotional Intelligence is about learning about our past, how and what we learned from our parents and our childhood, and how all that still effects us today, [...]
Emotional Intelligence and the 3 Little Pigs
Here’s an interesting article about how Emotional Intelligence, and the study of engineering, can be likened to the story of the 3 little pigs. Very well done… read on. http://www.e-ii.org/3b.asp – Matt
Change Myself
We are absolutely powerless to change others, but we are absolutely powerful to change ourselves. – Doc Downing
Full Range of Emotions
“When you are able to contain both your light and dark together, that is a very enlightening state. It means that you no longer have to choose one experience over another. You do not have to choose love OR hate, blame OR forgiveness, sadness OR joy, anger OR openheartedness. You are no longer polarized; no [...]
Beyond Beliefs
Are you ready to shift some of your core beliefs about who you are and how you fit into the world? Emotional Intelligence is the answer.
Little You vs. Big You
What would the child you once were think of the person you are today? Would your inner child like your outer adult? list your answer in a comment, below.
Emotional Intelligence can Hurt!
Self-knowledge and self-improvement are very difficult for most people. It usually needs great courage and long struggle. – Dr. Abraham Maslow It’s true. Emotional growth can be damned uncomfortable! By definition, trying something new and pushing yourself to new heights is gonna be awkward, uneasy, even painful and unpleasant at times. Get used to it. [...]
Be Honest with Yourself
Our relationship with ourselves is the most important relationship we need to maintain. The quality of that relationship will determine the quality of all our other relationships. When we can tell ourselves how we feel, and accept our own feelings, we can be real with others. When we can accept what we want and need, [...]
Don’t Give Up!
Often the difference between a successful person and a failure is not one has better abilities or ideas, but the courage that one has to bet on one’s ideas, to take a calculated risk – and to act. – Andre Malraux I know quite certainly that I myself have no special talent; curiosity, obsession & [...]
Big People
“Really big people are, above everything else, courteous, considerate and generous – not just to some people in some circumstances – but to everyone all the time.” – Thomas J. Watson, Sr. Why? Because it FEELS GOOD to be courteous, considerate and generous! Try it. It’s fun!
What Are Feelings For?
What is the purpose of our Feelings & Emotions? (leave your answer in a comment below)
All Feelings are Good!
“What is needed, rather than running away or controlling or suppressing or any other resistance, is understanding fear; that means, watch it, learn about it, come directly into contact with it. We are to learn about fear, not how to escape from it.” – Jiddu Krishnamurti “All feelings are good!” – Cal Banyan
Emotional Choices
“Freedom of choice is more to be treasured than any possession earth can give.” – David O. McKay Right on, David! and Emotional Intelligence gives you MORE CHOICES on how you react and how you behave and how you SUCCEED! “What man wants is simply independent choice, whatever that may cost and wherever it may [...]
Tune In!
I love to think of nature as an unlimited broadcasting station, through which God speaks to us every hour, if we only will tune in. – George Washington Carver
Emotional Awareness
Awareness is the first key to all change! “Relative to the level of awareness that is possible for us, our ordinary state of consciousness is as far from a direct experience of reality as sleep is from waking consciousness.” – Don Richard Riso and Russ Hudson “The thought ‘I exist’ is not the same thing [...]
What is Happiness?
I liked this article and thought it was a very good way of explaining what Happiness is… “I have found that happiness is not something we look for and not something that is “out there” or out of our reach. Rather, it is about being present with what IS. It is about being grateful for [...]
Bring soul into the world
“We live in a culture that is greatly biased against the imagination, because our culture is very materialistic, objective and literal. Our culture lacks soul, and doesn’t know it, although it experiences the consequences. When you don’t know what’s missing, then of course you don’t know what to bring in, even though you feel something [...]
Emotional Safety
Creating Emotional Safety within an aware, loving group of people is one of the most amazing feelings one can possibly experience, and one of the very BEST ways to heal, quickly and effectively! “A group of humans becomes healing and converting only after its members have learned to stop trying to heal and convert. Community [...]
10 Steps to Unlocking “The Secret”
Here are some steps to take to get more Abundance into your life: 1. Clear Your Mind 2. Decide What You Want 3. Ask For It 4. Visualize Having It 5. Express and Feel Gratitude 6. Let Go of Control 7. Stay Positive 8. Be Patient 9. Invite It In 10. Share the Wealth by [...]
Translating
I’ve found that the Language of Emotional Intelligence is different than regular English, spoken on the streets and in our homes and workplaces. People say things like: “I feel…” “I believe…” “How am I not being clear?” “I hear you.” “I’m listening.” “How can I be clearer so you’ll understand better?” and the language of [...]
The Other Energy Crises, by Jon Gordon
The Other Energy Crises Powerful article on how emotional intelligence (EQ) in the workplace, again, is more important than IQ! “Today’s employees are under-engaged, overtired and overstressed. The fact is that enhanced energy, success and performance cannot be found in a can of Red Bull or a cup of espresso. Instead of being energy drainers, [...]
Be a Great Leader – Know yourself and your Peeps
All great leaders have one characteristic in common – they have a high degree of Emotional Intelligence. – Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence, 1995
Emotional Success, the movie
Personal Success – a young dude, maybe 17 or 18. hand on door, to step inside — himself! – – show him reliving certain childhood events that were big for him, emotionally, – – – watch him stuff his feelings, and deny them, and gloss over them – – – – then watch his unresolved [...]
You are not alone!
Our first and last love is – self-love. – Bovee It’s all about you! It’s all about love. It’s all about you, loving you. If you cannot, or do not, love yourself, how can you ask someone else to do something you are unwilling to do? Find love for yourself within yourself. Ask your Higher [...]
F.E.A.R.
Does my Fear control me, or do I control my Fear? As always, I have some choices in how handle my Fear? Do I: Fight Everything And Run    or Face Everything And Recover I try to go towards my emotional Fears, not away from them. I will no longer be afraid of my own [...]
Super-Learning Mode
"Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can – there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did." – Sarah Caldwell Learning is fun. Learning is free (usually). Learning is life. Learn-learn-learn! My favorite clients/friends are in what I call "Super-Learning Mode". It’s a state, often immediately following [...]
Is it all just a fancy Sales pitch?
I believe some think I sound like I’m ‘hawking my wares’, trying to Sell people on these powerful emotional intelligence concepts… that’s ’cause I am! I don’t know how else to put it so that people will believe me to the point that they will go inside themselves to make the difficult, sometimes painful, changes [...]
I’m Scared.
I’m really scared. I’m scared that people are hurting out there, and we have some keys to healing, but they don’t know that, and keep on hurting because of us. Because of our inability to sum it up, and get the point across. succinctly, powerfully and life-changingly. We don’t even have much for sale.We’re not [...]
Make People Feel Important
"Pretend that every single person you meet has a sign around his or her neck that says, Make Me Feel Important. Not only will you succeed in sales, you will succeed in life." – Mary Kay Ash
Pay Attention to your Emotions!
"Emotions are the next frontier to be understood and conquered. To manage our emotions is not to drug them or suppress them, but to understand them so that we can intelligently direct our emotional energies and intentions…. It’s time for human beings to grow up emotionally, to mature into emotionally managed and responsible citizens. No [...]
Processing your Feelings
"Spiritual progress is like detoxification. Things have to come up in order to be released. Once we have asked to be healed, then our unhealed places are forced to the surface." – Marianne Williamson We call it "Processing your Feelings". We find them, we acknowledge them, we allow them, we FEEL them, we release them [...]
Fear can ruin your life!
Fear defeats more people than any other one thing in the world. -Ralph Waldo Emerson As I’ve said many times before, I believe that FEAR has ruined more lives, and more relationships, than anger has! Fear is sneeky. Fear is quiet. Fear is subtle. Anger is LOUD and obvious and usually obnoxious. You can easily [...]
Emotional Maturity
IMAGES OF MOMMY — an example of emotional maturity 4 YEARS OF AGEMy Mommy can do anything! 8 YEARS OF AGEMy Mom knows a lot! A whole lot! 12 YEARS OF AGEMy Mother doesn’t really know quite everything. 14 YEARS OF AGENaturally, Mother doesn’t know that either. 16 YEARS OF AGEMother? She’s hopelessly old-fashioned. [...]
Happiness
"Happiness is an inside job." – William Arthur Ward
Showing Feelings
"Never apologize for showing feelings. When you do so, you apologize for the truth." – Benjamin Disraeli, 1804-1881, British Statesman and Literary Figure "Be an all-out, not a hold-out." – Norman Vincent Peale You know how people are often trying to Hide their feelings from others?? Well, much of the time, I actually WANT people [...]
Feelings are the truth
If you don’t live in your feelings, you don’t live in the real world. Feelings are the truth. What you do with them will decide whether you live in honesty or by a lie. Using defenses to try to manage feelings may distort your perception of the truth, but it does not alter the truth. [...]
Fear and Passion
All men should strive to learn before they die what they are running from, and to, and why. – James Thurber
I don’t get angry, I get even (a joke)
Here is a great definition of Passive-Aggressive Behavior. I think this is also a good example of: I don’t get angry, I get even. CURTAIN RODS—- PRICELESS She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things. On the [...]
Kindness and Wisdom
Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt, kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate. – Albert Schweitzer, 1875-1965, Alsatian Theologian/Musician/Medical Missionary A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it. – Albert Einstein, 1879-1955, German-born American Physicist It doesn’t take any time or money to be kind. – [...]
Change: It’s Worth The Risk
"Change. It has the power to uplift, to heal, to stimulate, surprise, open new doors, bring fresh experience and create excitement in life. Certainly it is worth the risk." – Leo Buscaglia “I can change. I can live out my imagination instead of my memory. I can tie myself to my limitless potential instead of [...]
Find Peace Within You
“Practice silence and you will acquire silent knowledge. In this silent knowledge is a computing system that is far more precise and far more accurate and far more powerful than anything that is contained in the boundaries of rational thought.” – Deepak Chopra
Emotional Results
Commit to yourself that you will persue a course of Emotional Intelligence and understanding. Give it a few years (2-4) and I guarentee results. massive, life-enhancing, incredible results. Depending on how deep and ingrained your "issues" are, it may take as many as 5 or even 7 years. but so what? do you have something [...]
Cool Quote, again
Manifesting dreams has never been easier, not once in all eternity, than it will be during the rest of your life. Nor has it been easier for anyone who’s ever lived, than it now is for you. – The Universe | www.Tut.com
2 Cool Quotes
The best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it. – Harry S. Truman, 1884-1972, 33rd President of the United States Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with No Loss of Enthusiasm. –Winston Churchill, 1874-1965, English Politician/Author/Nobel [...]
Feeling Safe
“Oh the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are — chaff and grain together — certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with the breath [...]
Books on Emotional Intelligence
(all text below was extracted from verbiage found on Amazon.com to describe these books. I ordered all 5.) Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child by John Gottman The authors identify a five-step "emotion coaching" process to help teach children how to recognize and address their feelings, which includes becoming aware of the child’s emotions; recognizing that [...]
Say it in any language, just Say it!
Tell your friends. Tell your family. Tell your co-workers. even tell your boss (if appropriate). Imagine leaving this earth without having told all the people you love how you really feel! English I Love You Spanish Te Amo French Je T’aime German lch Liebe Dich Japanese Ai Shite Imasu Thai Phom rak khun Italian Ti [...]
Name your emotions, so you can tame them
Brain scans reveal why meditation works (LiveScience)http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/world/2007-07/03/content_908252.htm "If you name your emotions, you can tame them, according to new research that suggests why meditation works. Brain scans show that putting negative emotions into words calms the brain’s emotion center. That could explain meditation’s purported emotional benefits because people who meditate often label their negative emotions [...]
High Emotional Intelligence v. Low Emotional Intelligence
Examples of High v. Low EQ————————–chill v. tensionpatience v. stressacting (non-reacting) v. reactinghurry without rushingpersistance v. flitting aboutgiving in v. giving uplistening v. yappingventing v. dumping uponyour own shoulds v. other people’s shouldspersonal responsibility v. blaming / victimknowing what you can control v. what you cannotknowing what’s your problem v. what’s NOT your problemmeditating v. [...]
Conquering Fear
"You can conquer almost any fear if you will only make up your mind to do so. For remember, fear doesn’t exist anywhere except in the mind." – Dale Carnegie Fear = False Evidence Appearing Real
Emotional Awareness
"The beginning of wisdom is to call things by their right names. " – Chinese Proverb — "Emotional awareness is the first key to change." – mcp — "Our lives improve only when we take chances – and the first and most difficult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves." – Walter [...]
Building a Healthy Self-Esteem
Building a Healthy Self-Esteem (article) http://www.happynews.com/news/672007/building-healthy-self-esteem.htm Here’s a good article on being "real" with your kid. Positive, definitely. Over-Positive, no. (but over-positive still beats over-negative!). Here are some excerpts from this article so you’ll get the point… "Few things are more important to a child’s personal growth than having a healthy self-esteem. We help our [...]
Hiding Feelings From Yourself
"One of the greatest moments in anybody’s developing experience is when he no longer tries to hide from himself but determines to get acquainted with himself as he really is." – Norman Vincent Peale
The Beauty of Having Choices
A good anger acted upon is beautiful as lightning and swift with power.A good anger swallowed clots the blood like slime. -Marge Piercy — "One thing we can do is make the choice to view the world in a healthy way. We can choose to see the world as safe with only moments of danger [...]
Compassion
"Compassion is the ultimate and most meaningful embodiment of emotional maturity. It is through compassion that a person achieves the highest peak and deepest reach in his or her search for self-fulfillment." – Arthur Jersild
Benefits of Emotional Intelligence (2)
"Does emotional intelligence help boost sales, improve customer satisfaction, reduce turnover, increase safety, and enhance productivity?" by Joshua Freedman, EQ Teacher, extraordinaire! . Sales When I ask sales people in all kinds of businesses for the key to their effectiveness, the first answer is "relationships." So if emotional intelligence is essential to building good relationships, [...]
It’s Official…
. EQ > IQ !! .
Let Go, Let God
"When we know that love matters more than anything, and we know that nothing else REALLY matters, we move into the state of surrender. Surrender does not diminish our power, it enhances it." – Sara Paddison … and, some of the bravest acts I’ve ever witnessed were those of total Surrender. It takes incredible Emotional [...]
Emotional Intelligence Defined
emotional intelligence n. Intelligence regarding the emotions, especially in the ability to monitor one’s own or others’ emotions. The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition copyright ©2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Updated in 2003.
Purpose Brings Joy
"There is no more important step you can take than to define your life’s purpose. It develops your sense of belonging to our universe." – Arnold Patent We ALL need some sense of belonging… with each other, with ourselves, with the earth. Who are you and what do you bring to the world? So, what’s [...]
Personal Responsibility is a Key
"It doesn’t matter how you come to it…just that you do: Finally recognize that no one is responsible for your life but you." – Oprah Winfrey If you blame, whine, complain and otherwise victimize yourself, you are giving your power away. Take control of your own life by taking full responsibility for who you are, [...]
PHILOSOPHY IN PSYCHOTHERAPY with ALBERT ELLIS, Ph.D.
Below is an interview with Albert Ellis, Ph.D. Please read it thru, or at least skim it. It is the clearest, most profound explanation I’ve seen about how Human Behaviour works, including the feelings and emotions behind all that we do. Some of Dr. Ellis’s basic premises: "The main thing is to accept responsibility for [...]
Are you a Believer or a Doubter?
"If you expect the best, you will be the best. Learn to use one of the most powerful laws in this world; change your mental habits to belief instead of disbelief. Learn to expect, not to doubt. In so doing, you bring everything into the realm of possibility." – Dr. Norman Vincent Peale Stop and [...]
Take Time To Trust
Oftentimes leaders attempt to quantify or qualify the time they spend with their staff or even their children! We hear, “I invested hours of quality time to train that individual”, or “It takes years of dedicated training to produce a worthy employee”, or even “I’m such an awesome leader that I don’t even need to [...]
Loving Yourself
"It is not selfish or narcissistic to love yourself. It is your first and foremost responsibility." – Alan Cohen
Facing Fear
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of [...]
Say YES to Life!
"The indispensable first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: decide what you want." – Ben Stein …and picture it, and ask for, and see yourself having it.- The Secret http://www.TheSecret.TV ————————————————————- "You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage — pleasantly, smilingly, nonapologetically — [...]
Compassion and Understanding
t "When we experience the pain of another person, we instinctively want to take away that pain. But by taking away the other person’s pain, we also take away his or her opportunity to grow. To be truly compassionate, we must be able to share another person’s suffering and pain — knowing there is nothing [...]
Emotional Myths
Myth 1: Emotions are more primitive than reason. Emotions originate in the brain just like reason, even though you might feel them in your heart or in your gut. They are equally valid when making decisions, the key to making informed decisions it to consult both sides of your brain. Myth 2: Clamping down on [...]
Self-Evaluation
Emotional Intelligence Self-Evaluation Assessment Measures: Emotional Awareness Managing One’s Emotions Self-Motivation Empathy Coaching Others’ Emotions Take the 30-question test here: http://ed.swau.edu/England/handouts/emotional_intelligence_self-evaluation.pdf
Feelings are the Key!
"With just a little education and practice on how to manage your emotions, you can move into a new experience of life so rewarding that you will be motivated to keep on managing your emotional nature in order to sustain it. The payoff is delicious in terms of improved quality of life." – Doc Childre
Benefits of Emotional Intelligence
1. Better communication skills Powerful, not wimpy. Strong and able to be tough, without being Cold. With personal Boundaries and the strength and tools to uphold them. 2. Heightened Self-Awareness "Depression is Anger turned Inward." "When we feel Guilty, we’ll set ourselves up to be Punished." "Negative emotions, expressed verbally as intensely as they are [...]
Quotes on Guilt (2)
"If we don’t forgive ourselves for our mistakes, and others for the wounds they have inflicted upon us, we end up crippled with guilt. And the soul cannot grow under a blanket of guilt, because guilt is isolating, while growth is a gradual process of reconnection to ourselves, to other people, and to a larger [...]
Quotes on Sadness
"To weep is to make less the depth of grief." – William Shakespeare "When the heart grieves over what it has lost, the spirit rejoices over what it has left." – Sufi epigram "There is no despair so absolute as that which comes with the first moments of our first great sorrow, when we have [...]
How to be Happy
Remember the five simple rules to being Happy: 1. Free your heart from hatred. 2. Free your mind from worries. 3. Live simply. 4. Give more. 5. Expect less.
Forgiveness
Forgiveness IS NOT: 1) A sense of false humility that makes us better than somebody else 2) Condoning ignorant or harmful behavior 3) Any one specific set of "right" behaviors 4) A "spiritual" evasion of real grief work. Forgiveness IS: 1) A deep psycho-spiritual process capable of honing our wisdom 2) An attitude that sets [...]
John Bradshaw
John Bradshaw is one of my biggest heroes, and has personally made a huge difference in my growth and healing… See a list of his many works here. Thanks, John!
Feeling Verbs
Here’s some of the verbs I’ve heard about what we do with our Feelings & Emotions: Get in touch with your feelings Manage your emotions Get a handle on your feelings Get a grip on yourself Calm down Mellow out Chill, take a chill pill Relax and enjoy Take a break Find inner peace Deal [...]
Anger Resources
Healthy Anger: How to Help Children and Teens Manage Their Anger Anger, when properly understood, tells more about wants and needs than about the person or situation that has caused the anger. Getting Control of Your Anger: A Clinically Proven, Three-Step Plan for Getting to the Root of the Problem and Resolving It Robert Allan [...]
Inner Child Work
Here’s a cool way that inner child work, a critical step in healing our feelings, was explained by a therapist in Florida… Inner Child Experiential Psychotherapy builds upon the work of renowned therapists such as John Bradshaw, Virginia Satir, Hal Stone, Milton Erickson, Alice Miller and many others whose efforts focus on the unmet needs [...]
Take Control of your Life (2)
3 Big Questions who am I? — – — – — Heal pain and anger from your past. now what? — – — – — Get a grip on the present. then what? — – — – — Create the future of your choosing. Answer those, and your life is yours.
Depression Help
Help with Depression http://www.depression.com/getting_support.html Mood Gym: Depression help, CBT re: depression, no charge. has characters! http://moodgym.anu.edu.au/ Depression Questionnaire 16 multiple choice questions, no assessment http://www.depression.com/depression_questionnaire.html Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance(formerly the National Depressive and Manic-Depressive Association )730 North Franklin, Suite 501Chicago, IL 60601-7204Toll-free: (800) 826-3632E-mail: chapters@dbsalliance.org http://www.dbsalliance.org/ National Alliance for the Mentally Ill (NAMI)Colonial Place [...]
I’d like to Teach the world to Sing (but not in perfect harmony).
I want to teach the world the incredible power of basic Emotional Intelligence skills (EQ skills). Teach people to imagine.to visualize.to plan.to conjure.to ask for.to attract.to believe.to trust.to love. to be open. or not.to feel. or not. to allow.to create.to receive.to give.to play.to laugh.to sing.to dance.to scream.to cry. to emote. honestly, without drama.to make boundaries.to [...]
Emotional Intelligence is the key to Happiness and Success!
If you know what to Expect from yourself, you’re in control. If you have no idea what you’re gonna do next, you’re Out of Control. If you don’t Understand yourself, don’t Know yourself, don’t know what to Expect from yourself, how can you be successful at anything?!? How can anyone count on you? How can [...]
The Secret Movie 30 Day Challenge
Make a commitment NOW to make the next month, March 2007, a month of real, quantifiable change and growth in your life! Take the 30 day challenge, based on the life-changing movie The Secret, and "manifest" something New and DIFFERENT and Cool in your life, now. Link: The Secret Movie 30 Day Challenge. (lead by [...]
The EQ Edge
The appearance in 1995 of Daniel Goleman’s Emotional Intelligence: Why it can Matter More than IQ generated a flood of interest in the role that emotional intelligence plays in our lives. Goleman elegantly surveyed years of research into psychological functioning and interpersonal skills, presenting his case to general readers in a coherent and accessible way. [...]
Emotional Quotient Defined
Unlike intelligence quotient IQ, which is relatively fixed after seventeen years of age, emotional quotient EQ can be enhanced throughout your life. When you enhance your emotional quotient, you increase your chance of success in the countless roles you play each day. When you develop your emotional quotient, you learn to understand yourself and others [...]
Quotes on Fear
"Courage is not the absence of fear, but the conquering of it. Your fears are not walls, but hurdles." – Dan Millman "Many of our fears are tissue-paper-thin, and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them." – Brendan Francis “It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, [...]
Creatures of Emotion
"When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion." – Dale Carnegie
Feelings and Emotion Defined
Research on "Feelings"View results from: Dictionary | Thesaurus | Encyclopedia | All Reference | the Web —Synonyms: Feeling, emotion, passion, sentiment refer to pleasurable or painful sensations experienced when one is stirred to sympathy, anger, fear, love, grief, etc. —————-Research on "Emotion"View results from: Dictionary | Thesaurus | Encyclopedia | All Reference | the Web [...]
Heal Feelings – Do What it Takes!
You cannot begin your healing journey without the willingness to do so. Without the willingness to do whatever it takes to heal from your wounded self, you will not begin the journey of healing and evolving your soul. “Doing whatever it takes” means that you are ready and willing to feel, understand and take full [...]
Asking for Help
The healthy, the strong individual, is the one who asks for help when he needs it. Whether he has an abscess on his knee or in his soul. – Rona Barrett Asking for help does not mean that we are weak or incompetent. It usually indicates an advanced level of honesty and intelligence. – Anne [...]
The Secret, a movie – Watch it!
Watch the movie, The Secret. imho, one of the best personal growth movies of all time (in the same arena as ‘What the Bleep’). http://www.TheSecret.TV $4.95, 90 minutesTrailer version, 2 min: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=1443364536882886742 "Who you are today is a sum total of what you have ALREADY thought and felt." – Jack Canfield, "Chicken Soup for the [...]
Super Bowl Feelings
Well, it was a GREAT Game! Hard fought, exciting, interesting. And I was real Happy with how well everyone behaved. The words "Love" and "God" were used a lot, and there was an upbeat, family-like warmth amongst both the players and coaches. Even the commercials were pretty upbeat and feelings-conscious. I watched the game with [...]
Showing Feelings
Pink Floyd, The Wall"The Trial" (barrister)Good morning worm, your honor.the crown will plainly show the prisoner who now stands before you,was caught red-handed showing feelings.showing feelings of an almost human nature. THIS WILL NOT DO. call the schoolmaster… (schoolmaster)I always said you’d come to no good in the end, your honor.if they would have had [...]
#1 Top Life Skills
#1 Most Powerful Interpersonal Communication Skill: Shut Up and Listen #1 Most Important Relationship in Life: Your relationship with Yourself #1 Best Thing you can do for you and your family’s Present and Future: Increase your Emotional Intelligence #1 Deepest, most life-trashing, relationship-blasting, sex-ruining, self-esteem-bashing, hopeless event we can experience: Being molested or violated as [...]
Quotes on Success (2)
"He who has achieved success has worked well, laughed often and loved much." – Elbert Hubbard "Too often, people focus only on results. But getting results without learning something or without having fun are incomplete. Accomplishment is all three: the result, personal growth and having fun." – Peter L. Hirsch "There are many aspects to [...]
Feelings Toward Yourself
"It’s surprising how many persons go through life without ever recognizing that their feelings toward other people are largely determined by their feelings toward themselves, and if you’re not comfortable within yourself, you can’t be comfortable with others." – Sydney J. Harris Yep, it’s all about YOU!
How People Work
Here’s how we got to be who we are, and why we do what we do… Event -> Meaning -> Feeling -> Behavior EVENT: Shit happens. Sometimes really bad stuff, especially to little kids.stuff happen to us, around us, through us, between us. MEANING: We try to make sense of it … "I am bad", [...]
Relationships and Money
hard to believe, but it’s true… "All the money you’ve ever made,and all the money you will ever make,will come from a Relationship.The key is to focus on the Quality of your Relationships." – jr@well.com
Patience and perseverance
"Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish." – John Quincy Adams
Playing your Heart out!
"I believe in playing with your heart, with every fiber in your body — fairly, squarely, by the rules–to win. And I believe that any man’s finest moment, the greatest fulfillment of all he holds dear, is that moment when he has worked his heart out and lies exhausted on the floor of battle — [...]
Take Control of your Life!
"The difference between great people and everyone else is that great people create their lives actively, while everyone else is created by their lives, passively waiting to see where life takes them next. The difference between the two is the difference between living fully and just existing." – Michael E. Gerber heck yeah!thanks, Kristin for [...]
Contribution to Peace
I contribute to peace… (author unknown) I contribute to Peace when I strive to express the best of myself in my contacts with others. I contribute to Peace when I use my intelligence and my abilities to serve the Good. I contribute to Peace when I feel compassion toward all those who suffer. I contribute [...]
Quotes on Guilt
Guilt "When guilt rears its ugly head confront it, discuss it and let it go. The past is over. It is time to ask what did we do right, not what did we do wrong. Forgive yourself and move on." – Bernie S. Siegel "I have made it a rule of my life never to [...]
EQ Rocks!
More Happiness, Less Humbug -Strategies To Beat The Holiday Blahs http://www.eqatwork.com/eqblog/?p=55 Joseph Liberti, founder of EQ At Work
Free Yourself from Emotional Prison
"A human being is a part of the whole, called by us the ‘Universe’, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest – a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to [...]
Positive Feelings
"Heartfelt positive feelings create far more than a healthy psychological effect. They fortify our internal energy systems and nourish the body right down to the cellular level. For that reason, we like to think of these emotions as quantum nutrients." – Doc Childre and Howard Martin and, a good one for me… "Better to write [...]
The 3 Parts of our Brains
(i thought this was fascinating… the brain has 3 parts, including an Emotional center. A good friend sent this to me so I’ll have to find out the source for you) “Who Are You? 101 Ways of Seeing Yourself” Author – Malcolm Godwin. Georgiades Ivanovitch Gurdjieff, the charismatic Armenian mystic & teacher, maintained that human [...]
Laughter Really is Contagious!
Laughter really is contagious, a new study of the brain finds:http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16177354/ “It seems that it’s absolutely true that ‘laugh and the whole world laughs with you,’” said Sophie Scott, a neuroscientist at the University College London. “We usually encounter positive emotions, such as laughter or cheering, in group situations, whether watching a comedy program with [...]
Unfinished Business
On the drive home tonight a comment made by Doc clicked with a comment I had made to Matt to come up with an interesting realization (believe me, interesting was not the first phrase that came to mind). For as long as I remember my dad has been angry and expressed that anger verbally and [...]
Quotes
2 good ones… — "Happiness is a continuation of happenings which are not resisted." – R. Buckminster Fuller, 1895-1983, American Architect and Engineer — "I am not a genius. I’m just a tremendous bundle of experience." – Deepak Chopra, Indian-born Physician and Spiritual Author
Emotional Overload
Writers go through periods of writer’s block. I believe that people working on their emotions also go through emotional blocks – periods of emotional overload. My overblown responses to situations this last week told me that I needed to work on something but I could not put my finger on just what. So I bring [...]
< Matt's Stuff
hey, I just noticed that MANY of our 2GHers, and NDers, are Currently seeing a Therapist!so maybe we could talk to other therapists,or at least say, "hey, therapy too slow for you?""want to augment your therapy?""want to SPEED UP your therapy?""want to GO DEEPER, Faster?" come to ND. people who are Already doing the work. [...]
Thoughts on Anger (4)
"Adults who are most effective in helping children manage anger model responsible management by acknowledging, accepting, and taking responsibility for their own angry feelings and by expressing anger in direct and non-aggressive ways. When children are embroiled in an anger-arousing interaction, parents & teachers can help by listening without judging, evaluating or ordering them to [...]
Thoughts on Anger (3)
It’s official… I now have an official title, that I can put on my resume… I’m a "Provocateur". One who pisses others off. an instigator. I was reading an excellent article on Anger, and it said "… some children express anger with aggressive revenge by physically or verbally retaliating against the provocateur." that’s me. the [...]
Thoughts on Anger (2)
so what’s up with that? why do I go around Pissing people off so? is it just ’cause they pay me to? or do I get some perverse pleasure out of it? (well, I have to admit, it [...]
Thoughts on Anger
I’m not really asking for anything.this stuff just comes to me, so I report it to you. I have been blessed to have a ton of experience in the area of intense emotional expression — face-to-face, with pillow in hand. In fact, I’d venture to say that after 20 years of teaching ND, I have [...]
Thoughts on Judgments
It takes no strength to be Judgmental and critical. it takes no courage, either. it takes no class. it takes no style. it takes no brains. it takes no muscle. Cutting someone down doesn’t make you any more equal to them. and it doesn’t make you better than them. in fact, it [...]
Old Age, a poem
Old age, I decided, is a gift. I am now, probablyfor the first time in my life, the person I have alwayswanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometimes despair over my body … the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt. And often I am taken abackby that old person that lives [...]
Laughter Yoga (again)
"God is a comedian, playing to an audience too afraid to laugh. " – Voltaire how sad is that?!? and I believe it’s true. Check out a Laughter Yoga Club near you! Or do like I’m gonna do… start your own Laughter Yoga Club. I just found this concept and this site yesterday, and it [...]
Get Psych Help
wow, you guys gotta check out this site. they have a bunch of quizzes (which I highly recommend, because AWAREness is the first key to change!) a Rate ‘n Review section about different meds and techniques. a Support Community (which we have, but you can’t have too much support.) news and articles. (hint: use their [...]
What if
What if our disorders are really all emotion-based.That would mean that we are totally in control of our disorders, wouldn’t it. What if, by changing our emotions, we could actually change our body.What if by healing our emotions, we could heal our body. and rid ourselves of dis-ease and dis-orders. what if…
Sound Bites
—12.1 heard at ND… it feels good to be in my skin, to be me. I don’t think I’m all that just a nice centered "I’m Ok". I like being me. I know I’m exactly where God meant me to be. I have found a happiness that I only remember feeling a few times in [...]
Laughter Yoga
Check this out… Exercise your body and your Feelings at the same time! great idea. This is Laughter Yoga, a sidesplitting new fitness fad that’s part traditional yoga, part improv and all silliness. "”Most people think they have to feel good first in order to laugh. But you can start from nothing, you can even [...]
Who am I?
I am your constant companion. I will push you forward to success or I will drag you down to failure. I am completely at your command. 80% of what you do, you might as well hand over to me and I will do it promptly and I will do it correctly. I am easily managed; [...]
At least I loved
=) : ^ )) "if it doesn’t last, it doesn’t last. f~ck it. at least I loved." – Lori Seargeant, 11.29.06 ===============================
Grizzybel
(possible opening for host at new 2GetHelp.com site) "Hi, I’m grizzybel, your host.I’m over 650 years old and I’ve come to show you what I have learned along the way.most of it’s very simple, actually. it’s just that the hurt stuff overshadows the happy stuff, so people don’t like to ‘go there’. but go there, [...]
Anger and Rage at Work
Hi: Here’s a good article about dealing with Anger and Rage at work. It’s entitled "Desk rage: Workers gone wild". Some good quotes from the article:"The people more likely to experience desk rage are those with the least power." (powerlessness leads to rage). "When we become angry, our bodies “flood” with a rush of adrenaline [...]
Self Worth
What other people think about me and the value they place on me has always been very important. It was the only way that I could accept that I was a valuable person. In order to make me invaluable, I never said no and spent all of my time learning and mastering new skills. Instead [...]
Emotional Intelligence – Defined
Below are the 5 aspects of Emotional Intelligence that need to be Mastered.
Attraction, not Promotion
From now on, ND will be a program of Attraction, not Promotion. I will no longer ‘promote’ or ‘sell’ our ND class to anyone. What I WILL promote, however, is FEELINGS, and Emotions, and Love, and Joy, and sadness, and anger, and compassion and Freedom of the heart and mind. Those I’m gonna push, hard. [...]
Shoulds can be Good or Bad
We’ve been saying that "Shoulds are bad". period. but I have another take on that… I say that there are good Shoulds and bad Shoulds. Good shoulds are shoulds that you agree with… I should brush my teeth. I should change my oil every 3,000 miles. I should get up and pick-up the baby. I [...]
Talking to Yourself
Some say you’re crazy if you talk to yourself… well, I don’t see how you could NOT talk to yourself! for us to understand our very Thoughts, they must be formed into some kind of ‘words’. something that makes sense to us. Isn’t Thinking then, just a form of Talking? we talk to ourselves CONSTANTLY… [...]
Quotes on Love and Safety
"One word frees us from the weight and pain of life; that word is LOVE." – Sophocles "Oh the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are — chaff and grain together.Certain that a faithful [...]
Quotes on Happiness
"Happiness depends upon ourselves."- Aristotle "Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will never lead you astray." – Rumi "Re-examine all that you have been told . . . dismiss that which insults your soul."— Walt Whitman "For magic to happen in your life, you must first [...]
Hope in Failure
Another restless night in a string of many restless nights. Tonight do I decide to stay in bed and toss and turn until dawn, break down a take a sleeping pill to find the peace to sleep through the night, or take the time to do the soul searching to find the truth in the [...]
Anger
Anger has been the most difficult emotion for me to accept. Mostly because I did not understand the difference between anger and the anger/fear combination of my experiences. Fear that my father’s anger and physical abuse would be directed at me. Fear of the anger and physical abuse directed at me by my mother. Fear [...]
Quotes on Love
"One word frees us from the weight and pain of life; that word is love." –Sophocles "Oh the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are — chaff and grain together — certain that a [...]
Feeling IQ
Ok, here’s my new term for all the lessons we teach: Feeling IQ. As you may know about me, I have been trying for years to find the right words to NAME what it is that we do, the concepts we teach, the movement we believe in. You know how the internet is just a [...]
Emotional Intelligence: Why it can matter more than IQ
IQ = Intelligence Quotient score.Feeling IQ = Emotional Intelligence score.Emotional intelligence why it can matter more than IQ IQ is a measure of Intelligence, ability to learn, smarts. Your IQ is about your ability to think. Feeling IQ is a measure of how well you know YOURSELF, how you deal with your emotions, your environment [...]
Depression and Grief
This has been a week of bouncing between high highs and low lows. Today I reached a point where I have just had enough. I am tired of making decisions. I am tired of questioning my own motives. I am tired of interacting with people. I am tired of wearing the masks. I am tired [...]
Post #500
Well, folks, this post is officially the 500th post on this blogsite! … and the message hasn’t changed over the past 3 years (only refined a bit). It’s still: Emotional Intelligence is the key to Happiness and Success in your life! You can’t Heal what you can’t Feel.If you need some help with your feelings [...]
The Guest House
By Jelaluddin Rumitranslated by Coleman Barks in his book *Essential Rumi* This being human is a guest house.Every morning a new arrival. A joy, a depression, a meanness,some momentary awareness comesas an unexpected visitor. Welcome and entertain them all!Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,who violently sweep your houseempty of its furniture,still, treat each guest [...]
Love, by Leo Buscaglia
Read the book "Love" by Leo Buscaglia http://www.buscaglia.com/
Why do we Love?
Remember the Love.Do you know WHY you love? Why do we love? I ask people that question and they usually come up with a socially-acceptable response like "to help" or "to find a mate" or "to be loved." but I believe we love for 1 main reason: "IT FEELS GOOD!""It’s Fun!" – "It makes me [...]
All That Really Matters is the Love!
"Whatever you do today, remember ONE thing.That in the end, all that really matters is the LOVE!Did you seek it? Did you find it?But most importantly – DID YOU GIVE IT?Remember the LOVE!" – Veronica Hay, shared by Larry Clovis on our awesome emotional support site, 2GetHelp. Check other inspiring stories and articles here.
Beliefs
This morning my daughter came to me looking very sad and scared. She had heard from her boyfriend that his mother had cancer and she wanted to know what I could tell her about the disease. I could tell by her comments and actions that she had accepted this diagnosis as a death sentence and [...]
What Counts?
"Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts." – Albert Einstein
Rescuing Myself
I went to the New Directions workshop this weekend as an assistant and had no conscious plans on anything I wanted to work on for myself. I think I knew that by assisting this weekend that I would gain something. And just like the first time through this workshop, I am surprised by what it [...]
Pandora’s Box
There are times that I just know that I need to write about. Coincidences don’t just happen, I am really believing that it is a message that I need to hear. Last week while driving home I was thinking about the changes I have been through in the last two years and how it reminded [...]
What is Love?
"Love is not only something you FEEL. It is also something you DO." – David Wilkerson "The whole idea of compassion is based on a keen awareness of the other…. The whole purpose of life is to live by love." – Thomas Merton
Letting Go
When my parents divorced, I was thirteen and my sister was eleven. My Dad was working overseas and was gone 9 months out of the year and then resettled in another state with his new wife when he returned. When Mom wasn’t locked away in her room, she was out with one boyfriend [...]
Tame the Beast Within
Get a Clue about your Feelings and how they affect you. Get a Grip on the reigns, so you’re makin’ the plans and runnin’ the show. Get a Life, build a Life, CREATE a LIFE that’s Joyous and Happy and FREE!! — Our Feelings & Emotions are our COMMAND CENTER. If we don’t know who’s [...]
Boundaries are Essential Tools!
TEACH PEOPLE how to do Boundariesawesome parenting tip teach your young kids to Stick their Tongue Out at people, when the time is right. especially smaller, wimpier kids. This is a Personal Power exercise. that means: I reject you.I push you away.I disagree with you, and/or your assessment of me.I disregard you.I don’t care [...]
Depression can be a Tool!
I don’t get depressed anymore. not ever. unless by my direction. I will sometimes Shut Down my feelings, on purpose, to rest, to rejuvenate, to come back Stronger and Clearer. … but I don’t ever get depressed, fer real. Use Depression as a Tool, not a Weakness. An Asset, not a Disease! Depression is a [...]
Sharing our Feelings
"Damn, I’m Hungry…. There, now I’ve talked about my feelings." – from a New Zealand ad for meat pies (thanks Cheryl! LOL!!)
Freedom to Choose
"Every person, all the events of your life are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you." – Richard Bach
Write Your Own Rules
Dr. Wayne Dyer when accepting his Einstein award defined the Philosophy of Relativity to the audience by commenting on his baldness. Dr. Dyer is almost completely bald but stated that if you found the same amount of hair in a bowl of soup that it would be a lot of hair. [...]
Personal Responsibility
"A successful person realizes his personal responsibilityfor self-motivation. He starts with himself because hepossesses the key to his own ignition switch."- Kemmons Wilson
The Secret is Out: Feelings are the Key to Happiness!
I just watched the movie: "The Secret". Incredibly powerful message there! In the movie, they make a strong point that:"Feelings are the Key to Happiness!" and I so totally AGREE! However, in order to manage our feelings, we first have to be "in touch" with our Feelings! Feelings can be mighty confusing at times. Need [...]
The Secret
Want the Secret to happiness, joy and success? Click the picture above for a preview … (it’s $4.95 to watch this full-length movie, but it’s WELL WORTH IT!!) – Matt p.s. – oh, here it is for free!http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-7153285084873084783
Enthusiasm
"If you can give your son or daughter only one gift, let it be enthusiasm." – Bruce Barton "The important thing to remember is that if you don’t have that inspired enthusiasm that is contagious whatever you do have is also contagious." – Danny Cox "Exaggerate Enthusiasm!!" – Dr. Tim Goulart "When we accept tough [...]
Emotional Freedom!
Are you free, emotionally? Having trouble in your relationships because you just can’t communicate what your heart wants to say? Know you have issues inside of you that you just can’t resolve by yourself? Are you Angry much of the time? Do you feel Depressed? Does your past still have a hold on you, emotionally? [...]
I cry.
I hurt. I cry. I smile. I dry. – Matt-atak
Emotional Beliefs
"It is hard to let old emotional beliefs go. They are familiar. We are comfortable with them and have spent years building systems and developing habits that depend on them. Like a man who has worn eyeglasses so long that he forgets he has them on, we forget that the world looks to us the [...]
Be Yourself!
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind." – Dr. Seuss “What you must dare is to be yourself.” [...]
Happiness
"Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude." – Denis Waitley "The great Western disease is, "I’ll be happy when…" When I get the money. When I get a BMW. When I get this job. Well, the reality is, [...]
We have Choices! LOTS of Choices!
"By becoming a conscious choice-maker, you begin to generate actions that are evolutionary for you." – Deepak Chopra GOOD NEWS: You probably have way more Choices, emotionally, than you ever thought possible!! You can Choose to be Happy. You can Choose to NOT be a victim. You can Choose to let go of your [...]
Quotes on Self-Awareness
“Self-knowledge is the great power by which we comprehend and control our lives.” – Vernon Howard "It is not enough to have great qualities, we should also have the management of them." – Francois de La Rochefoucald "There isn’t a ruler, a yard stick or a measuring tape in the entire world long enough to [...]
eBook Development
Taming the Beast Within"Harness the power of your feelings & emotions to become a great Friend, a passionate Lover and a profoundly Happy Person." New Book Development Outline… Top 10 Lessons — tell at least 1 story in each oneIntroduction- Success comes from Happiness, not the other way around- Wanna be rich? wanna be happy? [...]
Feeling Quotes
"The trouble with life isn’t that there is no answer, it’s that there are so many answers." – Ruth Benedict Did is a word of achievement,Won’t is a word of retreat,Might is a word of bereavement,Can’t is a word of defeat. Ought is a word of duty,Try is a word of each hour,Will is a [...]
Feelings and “I Messages”
"How to Express Difficult Feelings", by Dr. Larry Alan Nadig, Ph.D.http://www.drnadig.com/feelings.htm In these instructions, Dr. Nadig explains nicely how to do one of the most powerful verbal Communication skills we know of for expressing our feelings clearly and with personal responsibility… the use of "I" Messages. Using "I" Messages ("I feel…", "I believe…", "I would [...]
Emotional Quotient
The baddest EQ site on the internet: http://www.6seconds.org/ "Emotional intelligence is critical to leadership, learning, and organizational performance. Learn from the leaders in the field how to raise your and others’ emotional intelligence. Gain an in-depth understanding of emotional intelligence as you develop new tools you can put to work immediately."
Confidence
"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face… The danger lies in refusing to face the fear, in not daring to come to grips with it. You must make yourself succeed every time. You must do the thing you think you cannot do." [...]
EQ for Families
EQ for Families (EQ = Emotional Quotient or Emotional Intelligence, imho one of THE most important skills you can learn as a parent!)http://www.6seconds.org/family/ Workshop One: Emotional Literacy — “The Power of Feelings.” Help your children recognize and use emotions to increase self-awareness and compassion. (FREE if you’re willing to spread the word, and give feedback). [...]
Heal your Past
Hi. We just did another one of our amazingly powerful ND classes again this weekend. Been doing them for 20 years now (wow!) and we’re getting pretty good at teaching them. It still floors me how much change we can make in people’s lives — release their pent-up feelings, change their beliefs about themselves and [...]
Let Yourself Feel
"And though the tears fall, I am okay." a quote I read today on our online support group from a young lady who was remembering her Mom as she slipped away. … so short, so beautiful… and says so much… it’s about:Power.Allowing.Identification.Release.Hope.Sadness.Joy.Self-Esteem.Faith.Trust.Life. wow. it says it all.- Matt
7 Steps to Healing your Feelings
Follow these 7 simple (tho’ sometimes not Easy) steps to learn to "Deal with" your feelings & emotions. Notice that you DO feel (many deny the whole concept) Identify ‘em. Helps to put a name to them, and to understand yourself to a much greater depth. Accept ‘em. Yes. They are there, and they are [...]
Quotes on Success
"It is literally true that you can succeed best and quickest by helping others to succeed." – Napoleon Hill History will be kind to me for I intend to write it. – Winston Churchill "The world cares very little about what a man or woman knows; it is what the man or woman is able [...]
Learning about your Feelings!
Hi Matt – I just wanted to say thanks for the information you have been sending me. I have been struggling through a "growth" period of life, and I have really been having a hard time sorting a lot of stuff out. Learning about my feelings and how to interpret them has really helped. I [...]
Feelings can be damned Uncomfortable
By definition, feelings get REPRESSED because they’re too damned Uncomfortable to get Expressed. Whatever the reason for repressing our feelings like: we’d ‘get in trouble’ for being angry or sad we’d be laughed at or humiliated for expressing ourselves we were specifically told NOT TO express ourselves we were guilted into it, or not shown [...]
Don’t THINK Away Your Feelings!
“When emotions are managed by the heart, they heighten your awareness of the world around you and add sparkle to life. The result is new intelligence and a new view of life.” – Doc Childre and Howard Martin "Learning to be aware of feelings, how they arise and how to use them creatively so they [...]
“Road Rage”
‘Road rage’ gets a medical diagnosis http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/13152708/ "To you, that angry, horn-blasting tailgater is suffering from road rage. But doctors have another name for it — intermittent explosive disorder — and a new study suggests it is far more common than they realized, affecting up to 16 million Americans." “People think it’s bad behavior and [...]
Why some men are more aggressive than others
Article:Genes plus environment during childhood may help explain bad behavior The study findings imply that even though a child may have a genetically related increased susceptibility for conduct problems, affectionate and loving parents can negate this increased susceptibility, Manuck said. “We can’t change our genes, but perhaps we can change our rearing environment. Full Article: [...]
Take Responsibility for your Life!
"The difference between great people and everyone else is that great people create their lives actively, while everyone else is created by their lives, passively waiting to see where life takes them next. The difference between the two is the difference between living fully and just existing." – Michael E. Gerber
Believe!
Believe in yourself and don’t give up on your ideas, squash your passions or discount your feelings. "A new idea is a delicate thing. It can be killed by a sneer or a yawn; it can be stabbed to death by a quip; it can be worried to death by a frown on the right [...]
Loving Fearlessly
"When we love fearlessly, we can experience our feelings in all their depth and passion without letting them control us. We can recognize that feelings are not facts, they are reactions to the world." – Coach Rhonda Britten, ‘Fearless Loving’http://www.fearlessliving.org/shop_online/merchandise/books/fearless_loving
Ego is the Enemy of Self-Awareness
As I have grown emotionally, I’ve found that I am severely co-dependent, fairly wimpy, sometimes mean, have ADHD, and often lost and lack direction. ouch. "Enlightenment is ego’s ultimate disappointment." – Chögyam Trungpa Think about it, it’s true! As you learn more and more about yourself — about your issues, your "unconscious mechanisms", your pet [...]
Feel it!
"Sense. Understand. Adapt." – a new Adidas Commercial Same goes for our Feelings. Sense that a big feeling is forming inside your body. Understand what’s happenin’ inside you. Adapt to it. Learn from it. Express it. Relieve it. simple, yet incredibly effective!
Tired of being Scared & Shy all the time?
Fear can be so pervasive. Are you sick and tired of feeling scared, afraid or fearful every day? That can get sooo old! Worried about other people — what they think of you, what they might do to you, how they might react to you. It can totally ruin your life experience. I used to [...]
Selling Success vs. Happiness
It’s a tough sale, selling "feelings" and "happiness". It’s much easier to sell "Success", "Career Advancement", "Increased Sales" or "Business Advancement", as these all make people more money. Just being "happier" and "Feeling better" seem too mushy and intangible, I guess. I can show you example after example of how people who have gotten better [...]
How to Reduce Stress!
Did you know that most of our STRESS is due to either unresolved Fear or Anger? That’s great news, I think! That means that all we need to do is be able to handle our fears and our angers and we can live pretty Stress-free from here on. Fear is about the Future. We’re not [...]
Courage to BE
It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. – E. E. Cummings, 1894-1962, American Poet/Painter/Playwright It’s not easy dealing with your feelings. It’s not always fun, either. It takes courage, faith, hope and a strong belief that you’re doing the right thing. But it’s still gotta be done. Many people are [...]
New Directions Can Help you Heal!
As you may know, this site was started to express some of the many powerful teachings and lessons we learned while teaching our incredibly intensive, feelings-based workshops over the last 20 years. New Directions is the most challenging, life-changing, emotion-expressing, pain-healing, love-generating workshop I’ve ever seen or heard of. Here’s an unsolicited testimonial sent to [...]
Love is…
Here’s something I wrote yesterday for a dear friend’s wedding that I thought I’d share with you. We can’t go to wedding physically so she asked that I write something for them to read during the ceremony, so we could be there in spirit. Here goes… Love is … Life’s journey brings love into our [...]
Loving Yourself
“At the heart of personality is the need to feel a sense of being lovable without having to qualify for that acceptance.” – Dr. Paul Tournier “You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” – Buddha “Love really IS the answer!” – Matt Perelstein
Post Mania
Blog StatsPosts: 444 | Comments: 38 | TrackBacks: 24 Total number of page views: 35,028 Average per day: 43 Last 7 days: 431 wow. No other way I could have shared so much, with so many, for so long!- Matt
Are you pissed off?!?
"Resentment comes from the repression of feelings, not the expression of feelings!" – Doc Downing, Ph.D, LMFT Express your anger and resentments! Get them out of your body — if not directly to the person that you’re angry at — then to another safe person who will listen and understand, without judgment. And, if you [...]
We did it!
Day 100 of 100!! Yeehaa!! WE DID IT! 100 Emotional Lessons in 100 Days (well, about 111, but close enuf!). Let’s recap what we learned about Taking Control of our Feelings & Emotions… Feelings are a GOOD thing, not a Bad thing! (MOST important!) Feelings are a natural, God-given right that all us humans have [...]
Choose Your Battles
Day 99 of 100: We can’t get upset about Everything, right? We always have Choices, including choosing what we are going to get upset about and what to get in a fight or war over. Certainly, there are things worth fighting for in life. Many things. But there are also times when it’s best to [...]
What is Normal?
Day 98 of 100: Have you ever felt like you weren’t "normal"? Of course! Almost everyone has felt this at one time or another in their lives. Doc says "Reality is what you get used to." That means that whatever you grew up with and lived with on a daily basis probably felt Normal to [...]
1 Feeling Gets Cut Off, They all Go!
Day 97 of 100: Do you have a Feeling that is Unacceptable to you? "If you cut off one feeling, you cut them all off." – Doc Downing, Ph.D, LMFT We can’t just cut off one feeling. If one goes, they all go. Is your Anger unacceptable to you? Do you avoid your Sadness? Do [...]
Resentment can kill you!
Day 96 of 100: Are you holding on to Resentment? "Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die." "Hanging onto resentment is letting someone you despise live rent-free in your head." If we stay angry at someone, we are carrying that negative energy around inside of us. If we stay [...]
Be Respectful of Other’s Feelings
Day 95 of 100: Respecting other people’s feelings We keep talking about dealing with OUR feelings, but what about other people’s feelings? The better we know ourselves, the more understanding and compassionate we can be for others. Sometimes people are scared, or insecure, but they Sound angry. Sometimes people are sad, or down, but they [...]
Be Happy!
Day 94 of 100: Be Happy! If you don’t FEEL HAPPY, then Fake it ’til you Make it! Act happy, exaggerate enthusiasm, move your body, smile, move, sing, dance. Tell your body that you’re happy… and if you do it long enuf, it might just believe you! Enjoy!- Matt
Imagine No Possessions
Day 93 of 100: What would it be like to have only yourself? So many of the New Orleans-area Katrina victims were left with what? NOTHING. Absolutely, 100% Nothing but the CLOTHES they were wearing. No possessions (can you imagine? I wonder if you can.) They had nothing, right? What else did these survivors carry [...]
Growth Path
Day 92 of 100: Where are you along your path? Here are 5 stages I came up with re: personal growth and development. The bottom stage is where you are still living in, and controlled by, your past. The top stage has cleaned-up most ALL of your past and are boldly and cleanly venturing into [...]
Behavior Modification
Day 91 of 100: How our Behaviours are Created. Here’s how our brain works. There are 2 sides of the brain, the Left hemisphere and the Right hemisphere. The Left side handles logic, thought and reason, known as the Cognitive side. The Right side is for pictures, sound and feelings, known as the Affective side. [...]
Emotional Toolbox
Day 90 of 100: What is an Emotional Toolbox, and how do we use it? When we notice that stuff is broken or tweaked or loose, we try to fix it (or find someone who can), right? Then, once it gets irritating enough, we decide we are gonna do something about it. Assuming we have [...]
Shock and Confusion
Day 89 of 100: Can we actually "choose" whether to we feel Shocked, or Confused? The idea that "we can choose our feelings" isn’t exactly accurate. All feelings come from perceptions, decisions, conclusions, expectations and beliefs that we have garnered throughout our lifetime. So, it’s not a matter of choosing whether to feel shocked or [...]
Dealing with Feelings
Day 88 of 100: How do you deal with negative feelings? We call it "sitting through" the feelings. When something really negative comes up for you (like sadness, fear, guilt, or anger), sometimes it’s best not to DO anything with it, at all. Just "sit through" the feeling. Like with Urges, most feelings will pass, [...]
Almost There
Day 87 of 100: We’re almost done with this series. Well, we’re on Day 87, and almost done with this series of Emotional Lessons (thanks for hangin’ in there with me!). So, as we say at our powerful ND class…NOW WHAT?!? Now that we know all this cool info and have these new skills, Now [...]
Denial and Defensiveness
Day 86 of 100: What’s our purpose in defending ourselves? I have come to believe that being Defensive is a waste of time. If I am wrong, I need to learn from it.If I am right, right is it’s own defense. So what’s the purpose of our denial? Is it that we can’t handle the [...]
How we Learn
Day 85 of 100: There are steps we go through in learning anything new. The 4 Steps to Learning 1. Unconsciously Incompetent (we don’t know that we don’t know) 2. Consciously Incompetent (we find out that we don’t know) 3. Consciously Competent (we find out how to know) 4. Unconsciously Competent (we know without having [...]
Acceptance
Day 84 of 100: Can you accept other people’s Reality, even if you don’t Agree with it? "Feelings need to be Accepted… but Acceptance does not necessarily mean Approval." – Doc Downing, Ph.D, LMFT Each one of us has our own reality, ones we have created out of our beliefs, values, expectations and conclusions about [...]
Know your Feelings, Know your Self!
Day 83 of 100: How aware are you? "If you know what you Feel, you’ll know who you are and what you want!" – Doc Downing, Ph.D, LMFT "Who am I?" "What am I doing here?" "What is my life about?" These are basic questions that we’ve all had to answer at some point in [...]
10 Ways to Live Longer
Day 82 of 100: Hints on How your Feelings can help your Life 10 ways to live longer Great Article According to Forbes, below are some practical ways to live longer, healthier lives. And Yes, most have to do with FEELING better = Live Longer. 5 out of 10 are feeling-based and ALL are behavior [...]
Laughter helps, Depression hurts
Day 81 of 100: Physically, there really are Good feelings and Bad feelings. Laughter helps, Depression hurts A daily dose of laughter may be good for the heart because, like exercise, it makes blood vessels work more efficiently, U.S. researchers reported. Depression, on the other hand, can raise the risk of dying from heart failure, [...]
Turning Anger into Love
Day 80 of 100: Can we turn our Anger into Love? It’s not: I love you but I’m angry with you. It’s: I love you and I’m angry with you. both can exist at the same time. remove the anger and what’s left, the Love. Remember, we wouldn’t get so angry at the people in [...]
Feelings go Up and Down
Day 79 of 100: Feel the Contrast Joy and Sorrow "Life is the coexistence of all opposite values. Joy and sorrow, pleasure and pain, up and down, hot and cold, here and there, light and darkness, birth and death. All experience is by contrast, and one would be meaningless without the other." – Deepak Chopra [...]
Ready to Get some Help?
Day 78 of 100: Let’s help you break-through your fear, doubts and limiting beliefs. Does your life feel out of control? Is your past dragging you down? Ready to "deal with" your Feelings and move on? If you can’t make it out to California for our amazing ND class, you can still get many of [...]
Anger is a Secondary Feeling
Day 77 of 100: Anger is NOT a primary feeling! Of your body’s primary feelings (including fear, sadness, physical pain, joy, peace, love, etc) anger is not one of them. Anger is what we call a ‘secondary feeling’, in that: "You will always feel something first, BEFORE you feel anger." – Doc Downing, Ph.D., LMFT [...]
Being There for Others
Day 76 of 100: How to "Be There" for Others. If you know that you will get your needs met – sometime, some place – you can put your own needs aside for a minute and "be there" for the important people in your life. The #1 most important part of Being There is to [...]
Reaching Out
Day 75 of 100: How & why do we reach out to others? Ok, so you’re aware that: You have issues. You are not alone. (other people have issues, too.) Some other people have answers. Love and connections are some of the keys to a happy, healthy life. CONGRATS, ’cause Awareness is the 1st key [...]
Visualize it!
Day 74 of 100: You can make it happen in your life. "People who soar are those who refuse to sit back, sigh and wish things would change. They neither complain of their lot nor passively dream of some distant ship coming in. Rather, they visualize in their minds that they are not quitters; they [...]
Happy Birthday to me!
Day 73 of 100: Yes, today is my 46th birthday — Yeehaa!! ~=:c ) I feel old, and young, at the same time. I’m young at heart — love to play, and laugh, especially with kiddos and friends. But I’m also kinda stiff and creeky sometimes (even tho’ I can play [...]
The Purposes of Anger
Day 72 of 100: There are 3 Purposes to Anger. To Manipulate – "Hey! Stay out of the Street!" To Feel Better – Venting, energy release, relief To Keep People Away – "Back off, buddy!" Get to know your anger. Make friends with it, and use it wisely!
Enjoy Your Choice!
ENJOY YOUR CHOICE! When people "give their power away" by thinking a situation is out of their control when, in fact, it is about a decision they have made, it creates a lot of anxiety and unhappiness. If people can re-frame the situation and really "get" that it is a decision that they made (and [...]
Self-Anger
Day 71 of 100: How do we deal with Anger at ourselves? Wow, that’s a tough question. We speak of "dealing with" our anger at a perpetrator, or uncaring parent, or someone’s who abandoned or betrayed us… but what if the focus of our anger is at Ourselves? Here’s a few thoughts on this touchy, [...]
Guilt: Two Kinds
Day 70 of 100: Guilt can be Good or Bad. There are Two (2) Kinds of Guilt: Punishing Guilt — when you’re Trashing yourself and beating yourself up for something you did, or didn’t do. and then there’s Productive Guilt – when you are Learning your lesson, taking the consequences of your actions boldly and [...]
Parenting Tips
Day 69 of 100: Your Child’s Self-Esteem I just read this and it hit me. According to Redirecting Children’s Behavior: The average child receives 12.5 minutes per day in a communication with a parent. On the average, a child receives 400 negative comments compared to only 32 positive comments per day. In a study of [...]
Trust
Day 68 of 100: Let’s talk about Trust. Ok, so you may have gotten burned in past relationships. Who hasn’t?!? Join the club. So how do you rebuild your level of Trust in other humans? Ronald Reagan said:"Trust and Verify" We got burned by someone who didn’t do what we Expected them to do (or [...]
Feelings vs Commitment
Day 67 of 100: If we’re supposed to be "in touch" with our feelings, how do we get ourselves to do stuff we don’t FEEL like doing? Doc says "We never do anything we don’t want to do." Sounds crazy, right? Well, as you know, we ALWAYS have Choices. If we didn’t want to go [...]
Release of Feelings
Day 66 of 100: How do we feel better?? Have you ever felt the exhilaration and incredible Release that you feel after a strong, powerful, energy-releasing SCREAM?? How about the peace and calm you feel after a good, long, deep heart-wrenching CRY? Not a complaining, whiney, powerless bitch-session… I’m talking about REALLY dealing with your [...]
Feelings are the Real Deal
Day 65 of 100: WE HAVE TO DEAL WITH OUR FEELINGS!!! There ain’t no 2 ways about it. WE HAVE TO DEAL WITH OUR FEELINGS!! Feelings are with us 24×7, 365, since we were old enuf to be aware of ourselves until the day we die! They’ve been unconsciously forming, and molding, and growing since [...]
Replace Negative Feelings
Day 64 of 100: A breathing exercise to replace negative feelings with positive ones. What if you could breathe out your negative feelings, and breathe in positive ones? Be still, in a quiet place. Acknowledge the feeling you have (hate, anger, bitterness, sadness, fear, etc). Know it. Accept that it is in you right now. [...]
Happiness
Day 63 of 100: How do we "get happy"? Happiness is within you. Happiness is Joy. Happiness is doing pretty much what you want to do, with the people you choose to do it with. Happiness is the absence of negative emotions, beliefs and Shoulds. "Being happy doesn’t mean everything’s perfect. It means you’ve decided [...]
Closeness and Intimacy
Day 62 of 100: How do we Connect with others? "The true primary goal of all behavior is to find a sense of belonging and significance." – Dr. Rudolph Dreikurs Feeling Close, Connected, Intimate, Belonging, Attached, IN, "in love", in relationship, kickin’ it with friends or family… that’s what it’s all about. "Emotional Intelligence (EQ) [...]
LOVE
Day 61 of 100: Love really IS the Answer! "Love is the ONLY sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence." – Erich Fromm My #1 favorite Love story: "Bridge Across Forever" by Richard Bach. buy it here. (changed my life!) Some say that Love and Fear are the only 2 primary feelings. [...]
Joy
Day 60 of 100: How do we create Joy & Fun in our lives? "Joy is not in things! It is in us!" – Ben Franklin Here’s what Joy is about: People want Joy. We can only feel our Joy, as much as we are willing to feel our Sadness. People will do more to [...]
Peace
Day 59 of 100: Give Peace a chance! "You have everything you need for complete peace and total happiness right now. You can have no inner peace as long as the controls of your life are located outside of yourself." – Dr. Wayne Dyer Peace is a ‘natural’ state of being. When we are very [...]
Guilt, Shame & Low Self-Esteem
Day 58 of 100: Now here comes the Really yucky ones! "Whenever we feel guilty, we will set ourselves up to be punished." – Doc Downing, PhD, LMFT Guilt and Shame can do more to RUIN our lives than almost any feeling there is! And the most wonderful thing about both of them is that: [...]
Depression
Day 57 of 100: How do we deal with our Depression? "Depression is anger turned inward." – Doc Downing, PhD, LMFT Depression is anger without enthusiasm Depression is your body’s way of saying "that’s enough" or even "that’s too much". Depression is your body Shutting Down your feelings Depression is It is physically impossible to [...]
Where people go 2GetHelp!
Are you sick and tired of living in pain?Is your past haunting your present?Do you feel out-of-control, emotionally? Problem: You want to feel better about yourself, your past, your family and your life. Solution:We help people who are stuck in their feelings (like anger or sadness or fear), whose feelings are "shut down", who are [...]
Sadness & Grief
Day 56 of 100: How do we deal with sadness, grief and loss? Sad is for letting go. Sadness is about a loss. Sadness is our body’s way of letting go, releasing & crying away the pain. The anecdote for sadness is to Cry. If we cry and cry and get no relief, there is [...]
Fear
Day 55 of 100: What do we do with our Fear? Fear is our body’s way of telling us to "Pay Attention". Fear is in our heart. Fear is about the Future. (what might, or might not, happen) Fear and Love are the only 2 primary feelings (some say). Fear can be debilitating Fear can [...]
Anger & Rage
Day 54 of 100: Let’s talk about Anger imho, Anger is the #1 most mis-understood Feeling we have. It’s socially unacceptable, most people don’t understand or appreciate their anger (and even deny it), and Anger has gotten a very bad rap. Is there a such thing as Good Anger? Yes! What’s the #1 best way [...]
The BIG 10 Feelings & Emotions
Day 53 of 100: Let’s talk about each Feeling, specifically. In the next 10 Days, we are going to discuss each of what I call: The BIG 10 Feelings & Emotions… Anger & Rage Fear Sadness & Grief Depression Guilt, Shame & Low Self-Esteem Peace Joy & Fun Love Closeness & Intimacy Happiness We’ll discuss [...]
Questions & Answers
Day 52 of 100: FAQ – Here are my answers to some commonly asked questions… Why are we here? To love and feel loved. What is my purpose? To help ourselves, and others, feel as loved as we possibly can, while we’re here. How come I’m all over the place, emotionally?It’s ok, it’s just Feelings. [...]
Parenting Tips
Here are some powerful Parenting Tips, by Drena. 1) Don’t take anything personally. What your children do is part of developing (unless there are larger issues at hand) in a healthy way. Children will guilt you, bribe you, blackmail you, shun you, manipulate you, bargain with you…. your job is to not give in. 2) [...]
Einstein on Feelings
Day 51 of 100: What Albert Einstein says about Feelings Check this out… here’s what was said over a hundred years ago by one of my heroes. "A human being is a part of the whole, called by us ‘Universe,’ a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as [...]
About People
Day 50 of 100: I Know People Who Love… One of my proudest things, is the feeling that I Know People. To me, people are THE most interesting thing in my life! … and one of the coolest thing about people is that there is absolutely NO WAY to know all there is to know [...]
FEAR = Face Everything And Recover
Day 49 of 100: How do you handle your Fear(s)? You may have heard the acronym for FEAR as: "F*** Everything And Run"… but I’d rather see you make it: "Face Everything And Recover". "Any one can run towards the light. It takes a master with courage to turn and face the darkness and shine [...]
Choices
Choices Current mood: contemplative God gave me air, but it is my choice to breathe. Life is full of choices, and living life is one of them. One of the most important decisions I have ever made was to live. Really live. I also get to choose my reality. Many may disagree, but my reality [...]
Feelings are a “Package Deal”
Day 48 of 100: You can’t cut off just one Feeling… they all go. Doc Downing, therapist extraordinaire, says that we cannot cut off only 1 feeling… cut 1 off and they all go. Let’s say that you have decided that one of your feelings is "bad" and that you WILL NOT feel it — [...]
Who are you Talking to?
Day 47 of 100: Do you fit in here? Here’s the "audience" for this material. Do you fit in anywhere here?? The clueless.The ‘broken’.The discouraged.The hopeless. The distant.The lonely.The unhappy.The estranged.The separated. Those who don’t fit in.Those who feel strange, or weird, or different.Those who feel dirty, or wrong, or bad, or ugly.Those who are [...]
46 Years and still Learning
Day 46 of 100: Continuing to Learn Well, I’ll be 46 a month from yesterday… and I’m still learning… a Lot. When I was a kid in junior high and high school, my parents took me to a few different psychiatrists to get some help… as I was obviously unhappy, depressed, overweight and clueless. Someone [...]
A New Sense of Self
Day 45 of 100: Selfish vs. Self-full I am coining a new phrase "Self-full". Selfish is about "me first, I don’t care about you."but Self-full is about "me first, so that I can be there for you even more!" There is a way that works Great.It’s about taking care of me, and making sure I’m [...]
On Forgiveness
Day 44 of 100: Quotes on Forgiveness(by M. K. Doc Downing, PhD, LMFT) I do not believe in forgiving, for to forgive you means I first must have judged you. "You no-good low life; you hurt me. I’ll never forgive you for what you did to me." In our churches, as well as in the [...]
How Feelings Get Repressed
Day 43 of 100: Know ‘em -> Accept ‘em-> Express ‘em Here’s one of the big ways that feelings get messed up, inside us. (per Doc) a) As children, we Express our feelings all over the place… but we often got in trouble for that. Our parents weren’t taught how to handle Their feelings, so [...]
Winning the BIG Game of Life
Day 42 of 100: It’s Ok NOT to Fail, too! It’s ok to Fail, in small increments, but it is NOT Ok to Fail the BIG Game of Life. It’s not Ok to hurt people you love, under the guise of Being Honest. It’s not Ok to blast the wrong person. It’s not Ok to [...]
Relationships and Friendships
Day 41 of 100: How to create lasting relationships One of the most common situations that perplexes mankind: How to create friendships, keep them and not hurt one another. It’s not easy; in fact, MOST people don’t know how to do this. MOST friendships end on a sour note. Why? Because we do not understand: [...]
It’s OK to Fail!
Day 40 of 100: Ok, so what’s next? I fail. A LOT.I experiment a LOT… therefore I Fail, a LOT. but that’s Ok with me.I always have some people in my life who are mad at me.I always have some people in my life who don’t like me very much.There are things I can control, [...]
The 5 Love Languages
Day 39 of 100: Ways to Feel Loved In order to be Personally Responsible for ourselves and our relationships, it is our job to TEACH people how to be with us. That is why, the more success we will have in our relationships. The better we know ourselves, the better we can show others in [...]
How do you want your life to Feel?
Day 38 of 100: Making it happen. Make your life Look, and more importantly FEEL, as great as you want it to! Complements that long-time NDers hear:————————————– "What a good listener you are." "You make a great employee… you’re one of the few people around here who actually gives a damn!" "I always know where [...]
Using “I” Messages
Day 37 of 100: Use "I" Messages to avoid Fights The one thing that is NOT debatable in a fight is when you speak about YOUR OWN Feelings, only. If you say, "I feel angry when I’m not listened to", there’s no debate. It is a fact, it is YOUR fact, and it is not [...]
Freedom v. Power
Day 36 of 100: Personal Power = Freedom Imho, one of THE most healing things you can do for yourself, AND the #1 best thing you can do for your Present & your Future, is to get in touch with your own Personal Power. "Freedom is actually a bigger game than power. Power is about [...]
Relationship Success
Day 35 of 100: Successful Relationships Doc writes about what it takes to make your relationships work. Read the entire article (posted at our online support group, 2GetHelp). The 4 Requirements for a Successful Relationship A willingness on the part of both people to share and to accept each other’s feelings. Both people use a [...]
Emotional Needs
Day 34 of 100: Our Emotional Needs Here’s basically how Human Motivation works. We try to satisfy our "needs". First physiological, then emotional. As one level of need gets met, we can move up to the next level. Maslow’s Hierarchy of Human Needs1. Food and water2. Shelter and warmth3. Safety & Security <– we can [...]
Personal Power!!
Day 33 of 100:" I Have Personal Power" I believe that this is one of the MOST amazing skills we do at ND… is helping people use their PP! Better, bolder, stronger, more often, more loving, and more clearly with more wisdom and respect for others. You will find that long time NDers LIKE themselves, [...]
Commitment
Day 32 of 100: Commitment Commitment is a key to life. (sorry guys). You do NOT have to commit to marriage. but you DO have to commit to SOMETHING. Almost anything, really. I used to be committed to NOT being committed to anything at all. It felt like freedom, able to breathe, flap, fly. But [...]
Anger -> Depression Connection
Day 31 of 100: The Anger -> Depression Connection Doc says: "Depression is Anger turned inward." So it is so important that we "deal with" and understand our Anger. In his powerful article, This Is A War – DEPRESSION, author Clay Tucker-Ladd agrees: "Depression is an important opportunity to reevaluate your priorities and not a [...]
What We are About
Everyone has their ‘angle’ for how to become healthy and wealthy and wise. Well, here’s our niche. We are about Feelings. We are about People. We are about Love, and Acceptance, and Safety. We are about Caring, and Sharing, and Getting Along. We are about Giving, and Receiving, in equal measures. We are about Healing [...]
Learning to Feel
Day 30 of 100: Coming Out "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud wasmore painful than the risk it took to blossom." – Anais Nin Coming Out — in this context — refers to coming out of your ‘shell’, allowing and feeling your feelings, putting yourself first, become personally [...]
Anger can be your Friend
Day 29 of 100: The Many Benefits of Anger Our Anger tells us WHO we are and WHAT is important to us. If we don’t know, appreciate and learn to LIKE our anger, we are denying a HUGE piece of who we are and what we’re about. How can you have Self-Esteem without Anger? How [...]
Emotion in Motion
Day 28 of 100: Types of Emotion Emotion, without content, or resolution = DRAMA Emotion, in order to release, and heal = VENTING Emotion, for the purpose of hurting others, getting them to ‘like’ you or for emotional blackmail = MANIPULATION Emotion, for the purpose of closeness, openness and intimacy = SHARING Emotion, for the [...]
Personal Events
As a computer programmer, much of programming is about having things Happen at the right time, in the right order, and on the right subject. We have what are called "Events" that happen at different times… like when a report opens, or when a mouse is clicked… these are Events. I just realized that we [...]
Mastering Communications
Day 27 of 100: Communication Skills & Attitudes Really good article on Communication skills, or more importantly, the Attitudes BEHIND the skills. Attitudes underlie our decisions and our behaviors. Read on: NLP Weekly ? How To Master Communication.
Hi
Day 26 of 100: Check in, please. Well, I’m doing it… it’s a quarter of the way through the 100 days.. almost a month, now, and so far, I’m keeping up. I’m really enjoying it, and learning a bunch about myself. I’ve messed up a few times, too. I’ve missed the 9pm deadline twice (midnight [...]
Boundary maintenance
Day 25 of 100: Boundary maintenance is not about Drama. Drama is actually DISrespected, and easily DIScounted. Powerful use of voice, energy, body language, feelings, eyes, THAT’s what’s Respected. You don’t show them all you’ve got, until it’s time.but you also let them know it’s NOTHING to mess with. If you live an emotionally unsafe [...]
7 Step Wrap-up
Day 24 of 100: The 7 Steps to Feeling and Healing Step-by-step, how to take control of your Feelings and Emotions. As with most things, there are a few Choices when it comes to your Feelings. You can:a) Deny that you have them.probably the #1 best way to make sure they CONTINUE! b) Talk about [...]
Step 7: Rejoice about all our Learning and Growth
Day 23 of 100: Step 7 of 7 – Rejoice! and celebrate life, love, pain, the whole enchilada! What if emotional pain was not that bigga deal?What if we could face our very worst fears, head on?What if nothing could get us Angry enough to blow up, ever, unless we allow it to? What if [...]
Adrenaline and Fear
Wow. I just read this article and realized that I live with very high levels of Fear. and I "run adrenaline" quite often… probably to addictive levels.damn. Read this: GREAT article on Fear!Explains how we live on Adrenaline.Too much fear CAN kill us.Adrenaline can also kill us.Our body can easily manufacture enough Adrenaline to kill [...]
Step 6: Replacing our negative feelings with Positive
Day 22 of 100: Step 6 of 7 – Replacing our negative feelings with Positive ones They’re dark. They’re ugly. and they drag us down… so we become aware of them, feel them, and let them go, right? Ok, cool, but we’re not done yet… It’s kinda bizarre how it works, but once the negative [...]
Step 5: Release of negative Feelings
Day 21 of 100: Step 5 of 7 – Release of negative Feelings Let ‘em Go! You don’t need to hang on to them anymore! Whatever they are Protecting inside of you (yep, that’s what they hang around for… to Protect you and to Remind you), you can grow PAST them and find other ways [...]
Thots
Sometimes I let it be known how much I’m here.I don’t want people to feel sorry for me.I want them to understand what’s Possible.I will live my life, from this day forward (actually, I have for some time now, but I believe this is PC – poetically correct)as an Example to others.To push the limits [...]
Step 4: Expressing our Feelings
Day 20 of 100: Step 4 of 7: Expressing our Feelings Doc says, "Feelings expressed as deeply as they are felt, will REDUCE in intensity and are free to change". Our feelings can get ‘stuck’ in our body, and must be Expressed fully, in order to be released. Once you know what we feel, it’s [...]
Step 3: Accepting our Feelings
Day 19 of 100: Step 3 of 7 – Accepting our Feelings Have you ever said "I’m not angry, just hurt?"Or how about "I’m Ok", when you weren’t?Do you find yourself saying "Yes" when you mean "No", or "No" when you mean "Yes"? These are about not Accepting your feelings. If we can ACCEPT that [...]
Step 2: Knowing what our body Feels
Day 18 of 100: Step 2 of 7 Knowing what our body Feels Identification of Feelings. Now it’s time to put a Name to the Feelings we feel. Is it Sadness, or Joy, Guilt or Anger, Fear or Love? (I’ll post a link to the Feelings chart soon… running out of time tonight, sorry.) go [...]
Step 1: Awareness that we Feel
Day 17 of 100: Step 1 of 7 – Awareness that we Feel What are you feeling right now? (stop reading for a sec, close your eyes and just Notice what your body is feeling right now…. go) Were you able to notice some things about how you feel? We never STOP feeling, ever. Even [...]
The 7 Steps to Feelin’ and Healin’
Day 16 of 100: The 7 Steps to Healin’ and Feelin’ As we discussed the first day of this sendout — Follow these 7 Simple (tho’ sometimes not Easy) steps to "Dealing with" your feelings & emotions. 1 Awareness that you do Feel2 Knowing what your body Feels3 Allowing your Feelings4 Expression of Feelings, as [...]
Staying Connected
Day 15 of 100: You gotta stay Connected. I’ve been trying to convince you to live from Love, rather than Fear, right? Here’s the thing about Love, tho. (well, there are lots of tricks to it, but there’s one large, underlying premise to this whole thing.) Love is about Connection. It may be a connection [...]
Love is the Answer
Day 14 of 100: Love really IS the answer. So, what’s the question? The question is, Do you choose Fear, or Love? If you choose Love, that means you’ll need to learn more, and push yourself, and open up, and get started healing some of your past. It’s a commitment to yourself… maybe one of [...]
Quote on Success
"If you have an OPEN HEART, you can articulate life. If you have a CLOSED HEART, you can only get good at one thing, like a PhD, and that’s all you do. You suck at everything else. I think that if you stay open and have a flexible mind, you can learn from Buddist monks, [...]
The Purpose of Anger
Day 13 of 100: What’s GOOD about Anger? Anger has gotten a bad rap. It’s probably the #1 mis-understood feeling of all (imho)… so what’s it for? Anger is for telling us WHO we you are and WHAT is important to us. If we don’t know, appreciate and learn to LIKE our anger, we are [...]
the Purpose of Feelings
Day 12 of 100: What is the Purpose of having Feelings? Everything we do is for a Purpose, to help us in some way… or we wouldn’t keep doing it. What is the PURPOSE of our Feelings? Fear is for a warning. Sad is for letting go. Depression is for overwhelm. Love is for life. [...]
Parenting
5 P’s of Parenting Be Patient. The frustration will pass but this will be your child for the rest of your life. Be the Parent. Your child will find and develop friends. But he or she desperately needs a parent. Be Practical. Your expectations and demands should challenge but not exceed your child’s ability. Be [...]
Love is letting go of Fear
Day 11 of 100: Love is a Decision. Yesterday we talked about Love or Fear, Take your Pick. Well, it turns out that there are whole schools of personal growth who believe that there are ONLY 2 emotions: Love and Fear. One of the books that helped change my life was Gerald Jampolsky’s "LOVE IS [...]
Love or Fear, Take your Pick
Day 10 of 100: Love or Fear There are 2 basic ways to live your life… FEAR-Based:- Afraid of what MIGHT happen, and what other people think of you. or LOVE-Based- Full of life, with people around you, and oodles of love for yourself and others. You are TOTALLY in control of which way you [...]
Where is your Focus?
Day 9 of 100: Timing is everything, right? well, check this one… Guilt is about the Past. Shame is about the Present. Fear is about the Future. * We might feel Guilty about something we DID, or DIDn’t do, in the past. * We might feel Shame about who we are, in the moment. * [...]
Shoulds – Becoming Aware
Day 8 of 100: Shoulds …continued… Yesterday we discussed that, even though we have been teaching for years that Shoulds are a Bad thing, I’m finding that some of my Shoulds are helping me, very much, and are therefore a Good thing! Here’s how to become aware of them… pick a Should that goes on [...]
Shoulds – are they Good or Bad?
Day 7 of 100: Shoulds (here’s something I just thought of, this morning about Shoulds…) We teach that Shoulds are bad, right? We say: "Down with Shoulds!""Have you Should on yourself today?""The 13th Commandment: Thou Shall Not Should On Thyself" Shoulds are other people’s way of controlling you, of cramming their opinions and issues down [...]
Quotes on Personal Growth
Day 6 of 100: A collection of quotes about improving our emotional lives… "There is more to life than increasing its speed." ~ Mahatma Gandhi "Emotional intelligence (EQ), can matter as much as IQ in determining a person’s well-being and effectiveness in life."~ Dr. Claude Steiner "Emotional Literacy; Intelligence with a Heart" (free online book… [...]
Emotional Intelligence
Day 5 of 100: Emotional Intelligence New Terms: Emotional Intelligence (EI) = Understanding and Managing your Feelings and EmotionsEmotional Quotient (EQ) = Like IQ, a measure of one’s emotional knowledge and understanding. Below are the 5 aspects of Emotional Intelligence that all need to be Mastered. 1. Emotional Recognition and Expression: the ability to identify [...]
Stay the Course
Day 4 of 100: Stay the Course The lessons you are learning here are Life-Long changes inside you. They are not quick-fix, learn-’em-and-forget-’em concepts. They are a new way of life. A new way to be. Make sure you get yourself into an Ongoing supportive environment. Whether it’s your family, or your co-workers that you [...]
The opposite of Fear is Faith.
Day 3 of 100: Faith The opposite of Fear is Faith. We only seem to be afraid of what MIGHT happen in the future.- we might get hurt- we might fall- we might be left behind- etc. We are usually NOT afraid if we believe that things are going to work out Ok. That’s called [...]
Feeling Feelings Heals Feelings.
Day 2 of 100: First we had the 7 Steps to Healing and Feeling discussed yesterday. Can you name them? (hint: KAAERRR) But there’s an even more Basic assumption here. Which is… Feeling Feelings Heals Feelings.(say that 3 times fast)Feeling Feelings Heals Feelings.Feeling Feelings Heals Feelings.Feeling Feelings Heals Feelings. Yes, that’s it. If we ALLOW [...]
Healing your Feelings, the Basics
Day 1 of 100: Ok, Welcome to Day 1 of 100 Emotional Tips in 100 Days. I thought I’d start with the basics, so I made a cool Chart to illustrate it for you. Want to Take Control of your Feelings and Emotions? Know and practice the 7 Steps to Healing your Feelings. (KAAERR pronounced ‘care’) [...]
Feel Inspired, Every Day!
Ok, I’m going to make a run at it… starting today, Jan 17, 2006, until Apr 24, 2006, I’m gonna do: 100 Emotional Tips in 100 Days! Find out how to feel and keep feeling.Find out how to love and keep loving.Find out how to be open, or closed, or neutral.Find out how to be [...]
People who Soar
"People who soar are those who refuse to sit back, sigh and wish things would change. They neither complain of their lot nor passively dream of some distant ship coming in. Rather, they visualize in their minds that they are not quitters; they will not allow life’s circumstances to push them down and hold them [...]
Feelings are the Key
Who is our Target Market? Well, I say the question is not about the Target Market. Target markets can be limiting in this case, because we really do have a Universal message to tell. Some are more local, some are to a select group, or a specific type of ailment… but we’re about ALL Ailments. [...]
Go Get Some Help
"Spiritual growth is not made in reaction against, for all striving against imposed restrictions is imaginary. Spiritual growth is accomplished by inclination toward. We grow like the sunflower, following the light." – Joy Houghton spiritual growth will probably NOT just happen to you… you’ll have to go looking for it… and once you do, you’ll [...]
Not my job, man.
My job is NOT to get people to like me. Actually, it doesn’t really matter if they Like me or not. My job is to get people to like THEMSELVES better, because they were around me. That’s the challenge, and that’s the goal. Yep. It’s not about me. It’s about you guys. Rock on.
Perserverance
STILL PERSEVERING It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer. Albert Einstein I may not be there yet, but I’m closer than I was yesterday. Author Unknown Keep on going, and the chances are that you will stumble on something, perhaps when you are least expecting it. I have [...]
Giving = Living
… we are ahead of the curve here, ladies. No one, anywhere, has figured out the Answers that we have… that so many are seeking. Why are we here?To love and feel loved. What is my purpose?To help ourselves, and others, feel as loved as we possibly can, while we’re here. How come I’m all [...]
Sorrow and pain
"The past year was filled with sorrow and pain, and unfortunately tragedy is becoming something that no one can escape. But out of the sad events that occurred in the Gulf Coast, the Sago mines, the Middle East, the London subway, the Vatican, and the 11th Circuit Court, we once again became intimately familiar with [...]
Joy and Sorrow
"Life is the coexistence of all opposite values. Joy and sorrow, pleasure and pain, up and down, hot and cold, here and there, light and darkness, birth and death. All experience is by contrast, and one would be meaningless without the other." – Deepak Chopra In other words, you must FEEL to have a complete [...]
Listening
“Listening frees me to rest in supporting another.” “Paraphrasing is one key to mind of another.” “To Accept, does NOT mean you Agree.” – Doc Downing, PhD, LMFT
To Feel or Not to Feel, That is the Question
If you only allow 50% of your emotions, you’ll only feel 50% of your Life! You can’t cut off one feeling without cutting them all off. You can only feel HAPPY, as much as you are willing to FEEL. You can only feel your Love, as much as you are willing to feel your Anger.You [...]
More Joy, Less Pain
HAPPY NEW YEAR 2006 to all, around the world! Wishing you a new year of: Less Crazy, More Sane.Less Different, More Same.More Power. Less Blame.More Joy, Less Pain. with LOTS of Love (just ’cause it feels so good).- Matt
Emotions are the next frontier!
"Emotions are the next frontier to be understood and conquered. To manage our emotions is not to drug them or suppress them, but to understand them so that we can intelligently direct our emotional energies and intentions…. It’s time for human beings to grow up emotionally, to mature into emotionally managed and responsible citizens. No [...]
Internet use differs by sex
Link: Study shows differences in Internet use by sex. American men who go online are more likely than women to check the weather, the news, sports, political and financial information, the Pew Internet and American Life Project reported Wednesday. They are also more likely to use the Internet to download music and software and to [...]
Feelings and Addictions
www.addictionz.com has a good article re: Feelings and Emotions for Addicts. It includes some step-by-step options for how to handle strong emotions OTHER THAN BY drinking or using. There’s also a cool story/parable about Two Wolves. Read on…
The World of Feelings and Emotions
THE WORLD OF FEELINGS AND EMOTIONSan article by Walter Last Walter talks about our Lost Feelings, definitions of Feelings vs. Emotions, how we Lost our Feelings, pain and disease and how unexpressed feelings can show up in our Body. Interesting read.
Faith
The opposite of Fear, I believe, is Faith. We only seem to be afraid of what MIGHT happen in the future.- we might get hurt- we might fall- we might be left behind- etc. We are usually NOT afraid if we believe that things are going to work out Ok. That’s called Faith. It doesn’t [...]
Time Heals, Sometimes
"We cannot live the afternoon of life according to the program of life’s morning; for what in the morning was true may in evening become a lie." – C.G. Jung In other words, feelings and beliefs and conclusions we made as a child may have served us well then, but they often do NOT serve [...]
Perserverance is Essential
"Courage to start and willingness to keep everlasting at it are the requisites for success." – Alonzo Newton Benn Same goes for dealing with our Feelings. The courage to start is essential… but usually only comes after tons of Pain and Disappointment. Don’t wait until you’re a walking disaster. Get some help today! Learn about [...]
Learn From your Fears
"Fear is a question: What are you afraid of, and why? Just as the seed of health is in illness, because illness contains information, our fears are a treasure house of self-knowledge if we explore them." – Marilyn Ferguson "What is needed, rather than running away or controlling or suppressing or any other resistance, is [...]
Are you coachable?
The people that I want to talk to are, as Shirley Anderson, master coach says, "people who are up to something; who have a challenge, a goal, a problem that they want to work on full-force." People who want it, badly.People who are willing to stop at nothing to get what they want.People who are [...]
BELIEVE
I watched the movie Polar Express tonight… and it was beautiful. I laughed and cried, and it was really great. So much feeling from just a movie! I know that may sound funny to most, but coming from a woman who doesn’t cry, especially at movies…. that means a lot. I realized tonight that almost [...]
Creating the Self
"The self is not something that one finds. It is something that one creates." – Thomas Szasz (1920-) American Psychiatrist We’re about Feeling — and part of Feeling is Feeling GOOD!- We laugh, a lot.- We dance, a lot.- We hug, a lot. it’s fun. it’s Aliveness, it’s freedom from the negativityand the Shouldsand the [...]
Emotional Intelligence Article
Great article on Emotional Intelligence. "Our emotions are the most powerful factors in determining how we act, make decisions, set personal boundaries, and communicate with others. Therefore, it is reasoned that if we understand and control our emotions, we can improve the quality of our lives." She also lists 10 ways to Improve Your Emotional [...]
Deep Feeling, Deep Healing
Troubles with Intimacy? "What often keeps a person "intimacy-impaired" as an adult are the hurts and conclusions of childhood. True updating, beyond mere behavioral changes, requires regressing to the original feeling state." "Deep Feeling, Deep Healing"The Heart, Mind, and Soul of Getting Well– Andy Bernay-Roman book book review "How does stored pain (trauma) relate to [...]
4 Steps to Learning
The 4 Steps to Learning———————– There are a few basic steps to learning every subject, especially making changes in our personal growth and development.1. Unconsciously Incompetent “We don’t know that we don’t know.” In this state of awareness, we are simply unaware that one or more of our behaviors is unsuccessful. We just bump along, [...]
“Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart”
From a great book of essays written by a psychiatrist Gordon Livingston, Vietnam vet, parent twice bereaved, lost his oldest son to suicide and his youngest to leukemia. The book is entitled "Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart." He has written about 30 bedrock truths: 1. If the map doesn’t agree with the ground, the [...]
Understand Myself
“When a man begins to understand himself he begins to live. When he begins to live he begins to understand his fellow men.” *Norvin McGranahan
EQ Mapping Tool
"Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is the ability to sense, understand, and effectively apply the power and acumen of emotions as a source of energy, information, creativity, trust and connection." — Esther M. Orioli and Robert K. Cooper, Q-Metrics EQ Map® is an Assessment tool that "helps you discover the many facets that make up your personal [...]
Reacting Emotionally
"Never react emotionally to criticism. Analyze yourself to determine whether it is justified. If it is, correct yourself. Otherwise, go on about your business." – Norman Vincent Peale
Emotional Shopping
Here’s a good article on the connection between Shopping and our emotions. “Some people shop because they’re unhappy … or giddy, or anywhere in between. But retail therapy can leave your budget in sad shape.” Interesting experiment: “Lerner and her co-researchers showed subjects three emotion-inducing movie clips — one revolting, one depressing, one neutral — [...]
Comfort and Luxury?
"We act as though comfort and luxurywere the chief requirements of life,when all we need to make us happy issomething to be enthusiastic about." – Charles Kingsley "… and to be in touch with our feelings enough to Allow ourselves to be enthusiastic and happy." – MCP
Intro to L.J.
~It’s almost 2:40 am and I can’t sleep. The past few days have been intense for me, and maybe that’s why I can’t sleep. I have been sick, overwhelmed and busy…and in the midst of it all, I have gained a complete sense of clarity that I used to believe only happened when I asked [...]
Emotional Tools
You have 3 main Tools at your disposal. Your Body.Your Mind.Your Heart. I can’t teach you much about your body. I’m not that great at taking care of mine, tho mine does work pretty well for me. I can help with your Mind. The wonderful thing is that "WE CHOOSE TO THINK" so we can [...]
Ask Questions
"It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question." – Decouvertes "To be in a healthy relationship, you have to be willing to ask the tough questions." – Dr. Phil "Reason can answer questions, but imagination has to ask them." – Ralph Gerard "You see things; and you say, ‘Why?’ But I dream things [...]
Feelings are Life!
since I took my keyboard apart the other day and cleaned it, the . key hasn’t been working properly and this has been interesting for meto get it to work, I have to SLAM the . KEY harder….. whap, whap, whap.it builds tension.irritation.tick (doesn’t work) so Wham. (that works, but it’s irritating and requires more [...]
NDers vs. non-NDers
Ha. It finally came to me. Just now.I’ve been watching us long term NDers who are usually waaaaay Happier, often more successful and certainly more ALIVE and FEELING than our counterparts and I keep wondering, What’s the Difference between NDers and non-NDers?What is it the one thing that ND teaches that is so Effective and [...]
Feelings Toward Yourself
"It’s surprising how many persons go through life without ever recognizing that their feelings toward other people are largely determined by their feelings toward themselves, and if you’re not comfortable within yourself, you can’t be comfortable with others." – Sydney J. Harris "There is no freedom like seeing myself as I am and not losing [...]
Know Yourself
“What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself.” – Abraham H. Maslow “The true profession of man is to find his way to himself.” – Hermann Hesse “Knowing others is wisdom; knowing the self is enlightenment.” – Tao Te Ching http://www.HigherAwareness.com
Feel Better
Want to Feel better?- are you feeling down, or angry, or scared all the time? Want to Feel more?- do your feelings seem far away or self-contained in a little box? Want to actually get in-touch with your Feelings?- are you Clueless when it comes to managing your feelings and emotions? We can help. In [...]
What is Sacred?
"There are only 4 questions of value in life: What is sacred? Of what is the spirit made? What is worth living for? and What is worth dying for? The answer to each is the same. Only love." – Don Juan DeMarco (Johnny Depp)
EQ in Business
Here’s a powerful article giving numerous test cases to show where companies, or the US government, saved $$Millions or earned extra $$Millions only by increasing their employees’ Emotional Quotient (EQ) or Emotional Intelligence (EI). It begins…"The following 19 points build a case for how emotional intelligence contributes to the bottom line in any work organization. [...]
Statement of Direction
New Directions Workshop’sSTATEMENT OF DIRECTION——————————————–I am through being a Victim.And finished blaming myself, and others. NOW WHAT?!? Even though I am Afraid, I am turning my Anger into Love, Sadness to Joy,and Depression into Personal Power. Now I choose to feel ALIVE!!
People don’t know
As teens and young adults, people don’t know that they are going to marry their mother or their father, depending on which one they have the biggest issues with. People don’t know that their current beliefs and behaviors are so interconnected to their childhood traumas. People don’t know that you can beat the voices in [...]
We Sell Feelings
We are selling Feelings, period. We are spreading the gospel, the truth, the way and the light. We are selling Life! Feelings = Life.Passion.Love.Joy.Peace.Contentment.Safety.Compassion. All of it. That’s my point…There really IS nothing more important to focus on. The people’s lives that were trashed and drowned and blown away… what do they have left? Their [...]
What Does God Say?
I received the nice note below as an inspirational message… Good morning Matt. This is God. I will be handling all your problems today. I will not need your help, so have a good day. Well, I disagree. God will handle all my BIG problems. But I have to handle my worldly problems. I am [...]
Your Essence cannot be Destroyed!
“No matter how painful our early experiences were, our Essence cannot be harmed. Our Essence is waiting for the opportunity to reveal itself. In a very true sense, we are waiting for the opportunity to become ourselves. Our spirit is yearning to break free, to express itself … “And yet, ironically, we always fear and [...]
Emotional Health
"Learning to let go of the ways we inadvertently and unconsciously contribute to our own pain is the key to finding radiant physical and emotional health." – Ingrid Bacci "We must overcome the notion that we must be normal . . . It robs us of the chance to be extraordinary and leads us to [...]
How do you Feel?
How do you FEEL?Are you Happy and Joyous and Free??or are you Shut-down, Depressed, Guilt-ridden and ANGRY?!? Taking control of your Feelings is the key to personal Happiness and Success in your Career, Family and Relationships. Stop by. We’ll show you an amazing world that lies deep inside you — your Passions, your Joys, Your [...]
Control
things we have way much control over: Personal Power Enthusiasm Enlightenment Awareness Acceptance Understanding—– Faith Trust Love Joy—– Our Belief systems Our Issues Our Values Our Outlook on Life Our View of the World—– Our Ability to Connect Our Ability to Belong Our Ability to work as a Team Our Ability to Get Along—– Our [...]
A Safe Place
"Ask God to lead you to a safe place to deal with your issues where you can share confidences. Find people who will listen without trying to control or fix you, or turn you away from God; people who will encourage you to keep going and who will speak lovingly yet honestly." from a newsletter [...]
Awareness is the 1st Key to Change
“Relative to the level of awareness that is possible for us, our ordinary state of consciousness is as far from a direct experience of reality as sleep is from waking consciousness.” – Don Richard Riso and Russ Hudson Awareness is the 1st Key to Change. A person asked Buddha:“Are you a God?”Buddha’s reply was“No.”“Are you [...]
Loving Attitude
If a bug gets on my screen, or on my walls. I’ll try to shoe them gently away. (unless it’s a mosquito or a bee) and if they return, again, I say "Hello", smile and welcome them into my world.
Love and Support
"Matt, you can use my wording any time.I would also like to say that I have never in my life experienced the type of love and support that is developed in such a short period of time, until I attended a ND weekend. I have been practicing setting boundaries without getting out of control angry.Since [...]
No Regrets
"Brighter is possibly the best word… In the brief respite I’m enjoying, I’m feeling more secure about me… I’ve separated myself from a few external judgments, let go of a few self imposed ones… released some emotions that I had stored specifically for use in being supportive of my partner (i.e., matching)… seeing others’ expectations [...]
Society Needs Soul
"We live in a culture that is greatly biased against the imagination, because our culture is very materialistic, objective and literal. Our culture lacks soul, and doesn’t know it, although it experiences the consequences. When you don’t know what’s missing, then of course you don’t know what to bring in, even though you feel something [...]
It is in your Power
“If you are pained by external things, it is not they that disturb you, but your own judgment of them. And it is in your power to wipe out that judgment now.” – Marcus Aurelius
Wisdom
"The day the child realizes that all adults are imperfect he becomes an adolescent; The day he forgives them, he becomes an adult; The day he forgives himself, he becomes wise." – Aiden Nowlan
About People
A Course About People, by Thomas Leonard, the ‘Father of the Coaching Industry", on what would have been his 50th birthday. Complete wording is here (send a blank email): mailto:2GetHelp.com-118974@autocontactor.com SAMPLE STATEMENTS: People do not understand how greatly their decisions are influenced by their emotions. People think their beliefs are grounded in logic, whereas they [...]
Turning Anger Into Love
It’s not: I love you but I’m angry with you. It’s: I love you and I’m angry with you. both exist at the same time. remove the anger and what’s left, the Love.—actually, It’s not even: I’m angry with you. it’s more: I’m angry with your Behavior. I can love you and hate your behaviors [...]
The Fear of Feeling
Good article by Dr. Margaret Paul on how/why we avoid our feelings: "I have discovered that there are three feelings which most people want to avoid at all cost: aloneness, loneliness and helplessness. The problem is that we still think we will die if we feel these feelings, so we are still avoiding them. " [...]
Love movie
Here’s a very well done movie. A touching reminder to Listen to people (S.U.A.L. = shut up and listen) and to tell the people you love that you love them. http://www.TheLoveMovie.com/ – - Love really is the answer.
Thoughts on Forgiveness
Forgiveness is for you. You carry the pain, and the anger, and the resentment. You keep the grudge going. You are the one with the nasty thoughts. So forgiveness is for you. They may never know you forgave them (sadly, they may not even know you are angry at them). Forgiveness is about removing the [...]
What People Say about ND (continued…)
What I Learned at New Directions by Shannon, 28, still single, very painful childhood, works for her mom (yikes), incredibly low self-esteem borrowed money for a plane ticket from Illinois to take the July class. Now she wants to move here! I know I will be adding more items to this list because I keep [...]
Anger and Understanding
Anger and intolerance are the twin enemies of correct understanding. – Mahatma Gandhi, 1869-1948, Indian Political and Spiritual Leader
Great Emotions
"Disgust and resolve are two of the great emotions that lead to change." – Jim Rohn
Know What you Feel
If you know what you feel, you’ll know who you are and what you want!
We need to Educate our Kids
Researcher finds that up half (50%) of all mental illnesses start before the age of 14 and three-fourths (75%) by age 24. "That so many cases begin in people so young “is just staggering” and underscores the need for better efforts at early detection and treatment, Kessler said." http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8119644 Wow. That means we gotta teach [...]
Happiness & Success
Want Happiness and Success in your Life? Learn to Take Control of your Feelings and Emotions!
Answer this question about Feeling
How "in touch" with your Feelings are you? When was the last time you cried? today or yesterday in the last week or month in the past year can`t remember, it`s been so long Results
Quotes on Safety
“Oh the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are — chaff and grain together — certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with the breath [...]
Thoughts on Control / Being Controlled
notes to myself over the last ND weekend: Shoulds are sources of Anger Control: Do it or change it Positive Control – "You will…"Negative Control – "You can’t make me…"Whenever you have to PROVE that they can’t control you, you’re not in control, they are!Healthy Response – "Here’s what I’m willing to do…" The only [...]
Resources on Forgiveness
Resources on Forgiveness One of the ‘purposes’ to anger is to help you feel powerful and strong. It’s your body’s way of letting you know that things are not going the way you want them to. If you can be clear within yourself, and have clear, defined Boundaries for what’s Ok and what’s not Ok [...]
Feelings Revolution Calls
Hmmm… what to talk about on the next Feelings Revolution call… So far, we’ve discussed: Turning Anger into Love Benefits of being "In Touch" with your Feelings Being Fully Expressed Self-Processing: Getting to the Heart of the Matter … and others. (I just realized that when I am the most believable, is when I speak [...]
Understand your Feelings, Control your Life!
The key to Happiness is to learn about your FEELINGS "If you know what you feel, you’ll know who you are!"- Doc Downing, PhD, LFMT We teach a weekend intensive called New Directions. Been teaching it now for over 18 years. 4 states, hundreds of classes, thousands of happy(er) graduates. New Directions changes lives. I [...]
If it’s to be, it’s up to me.
"If it’s to be, it’s up to me." – a lament of those stuck in control, unable to obtain cooperation. however, it’s also TRUE. It’s called Personal Responsibility… and it really works! The happiest people I know are those who feel they have the power to make a difference in EVERY area of their lives. [...]
Coach T and Coaching
I ran across an old testimonial pic of me, next to the immortal coach T.http://www.coachville.com/tourhowtocoach.html He single-handedly created a concept, a idea, a career, that has changed the lives of thousands already, and will effect millions, in fact the entire world, in years to come. It’s called Coaching. There is no faster and more efficient [...]
How much Control do we have?
Chances are, you have waaay more Choices over our emotional lives than we’ve ever imagined possible! Once you know and appreciate all the internal issues we can control inside us, and how, and how much, it gives us TOTAL power over our Reactions, our beliefs and our behaviors. How we connect How we relate How [...]
Being “In Touch” with Feelings and Emotions
I believe that, because I am so in touch with my feelings and emotions, I am: Better looking Stronger A better racquetball player a better Father a better Husband a better friend more consistent more Jolly more relaxed more SPonTaNeoUS! way more FUN to be around. try it.
Quotes on Trust
Believe nothing just because a so-called wise person said it. Believe nothing just because a belief is generally held. Believe nothing just because it is said in ancient books. Believe nothing just because it is said to be of divine origin. Believe nothing just because someone else believes it. Believe only what you yourself test [...]
You can have it all!
You can have anything you want. You cannot have everything you want.
Millionaire Mind
I went to the Millionaire Mind Intensive this past weekend in L.A. It was incredible. The number of dollars that changed hands at that "Free" event, was astounding… something like $2 Million… as people signed up for coaching, train-the-trainer, guerilla marketing and other workshops designed to help folks become wealthier. The personal growth movement is [...]
The Feelings Revolution
Join the Feelings Revolution you’ve heard so much about! You’ll get access to the Feelings Revolution Member Phone Calls and truck loads of inspiration to feel as BIG as you’ve always wanted to… – every Wednesday at 7pm Pacific (Calif.-time). Call in and share or just listen in. It’ll help you feel better about who [...]
I’ve learned….
I’ve learned…..That love, not time, heals all wounds. I’ve learned….That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes. I’ve learned….That we should be glad God doesn’t give us everything we ask for. I’ve learned….That money doesn’t buy class. I’ve learned….That it’s those small daily [...]
Aging Body, Ageless Soul
"When it comes to getting older, we have a choice: cling to the past (and suffer), or let go and enjoy the spiritual journey." By Ram Dass Excellent article on attitudes and beliefs you could take toward the Aging of your body. Ram Dass begins the article with: "To our egos, change is scary. "The [...]
Bold Self-Expression
"Full self-expression is, hands down, the best personal and business development strategy on the planet " – Michael Port, coach "When you’re fully Self-Expressed, very few people will be Neutral toward you anymore." – Lisa Wilder, coach
Get some Momentum in your Life!
“You can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.” – Jack London Career questions? Personal issues? Feel like you’re in a rut? Get some Momentum in your life by working with a coach. Contact Joan at Momentum Coaching and open yourself to new possibilities. www.achieve-momentum.com.
A Feeling of Hope
10 of the hugest benefits people get from the ND weekend workshop. a new understanding and appreciation for: How powerful their feelings are/can be The fact that everyone has them, and that’s where we Connect with others. The newly-found sense of Personal Power, and Confidence, and Pride. The sense that I AM in control of [...]
Life is a test!
This life is a test. It is only a test. If this had been an actual life, You would have been given further instructions on where to go and what to do. – something my dad used to say
Quotes on Purpose
"Our purpose is hidden in our joy, our inspiration, our excitement. As we act on what shows up in our life our purpose shows up." – James King "There is no more important step you can take than to define your life’s purpose. It develops your sense of belonging to our universe." – Arnold Patent [...]
Awareness is the 1st Key to change
"If you view all the things that happen to you, both good and bad, as opportunities, then you operate out of a higher level of consciousness."- Les Brown (Motivational Trainer) Awareness is the 1st Key to changeSo many of our beliefs, values and feelings come from our Unconscious mind. Learn whatever you can about what’s [...]
Quotes on Laughter
"We don’t laugh because we’re happy, we’re happy because we laugh." – William James "Laughter is like the human body wagging its tail." – Anne Wilson Schaef "More important than talent, strength, or knowledge is the ability to laugh at yourself and enjoy the pursuit of your dreams." – Amy Grant, American Singer, Song Writer [...]
Shame-based People
Let’s talk about being "Shame-based". We’ve established that the difference between Guilt and Shame is that Guilt is about something you DID that was bad, while Shame is the belief that you ARE bad. So shame-based people believe they are bad people. They assume the worst. They assume life is dangerous and people are out [...]
Anger and Crying
If you find that you’re crying and crying, with no relief… it’s probably because you’re also ANGRY… and need to deal with that, as well. If you find that you’re angry and angry, with no relief… it’s probably because you’re also HURT… and need to cry, as well. We had a guy in last weekend’s [...]
Difference between Feelings and emotions
What is the difference between feelings and emotions? An interesting answer (from Google Answers) is here. Sites a number of different authors and points of view. Read on…
Quotes on Happiness2
Success is not the key to Happiness. Happiness is the key to Success! – ?? "There is much satisfaction in work well done, but there can be no happiness equal to the joy of finding a heart that understands. " – Victor Robinsoll "In our daily lives, we must see that it is not happiness [...]
Laughter helps, Depression hurts
A daily dose of laughter may be good for the heart because, like exercise, it makes blood vessels work more efficiently, U.S. researchers reported on Monday. Depression, on the other hand, can raise the risk of dying from heart failure, a separate study found. (these may be Duh! messages, but now empirical studies agree!) read [...]
Thomas Leonard Quotes and Logos
Here is a collection of Thomas Leonard’s quotes and logos that he was playing with. They’re wonderful growth messages and show his sense of humor. Coach T was my hero, in a lot of ways. taught me a ton before he left, and his work is still teaching and inspiring me. Below are the messages, [...]
10 ways to live longer
Great Article According to Forbes, below are some practical ways to live longer, healthier lives. And Yes, most have to do with FEELING better = Live Longer. (5 out of 10 are feeling-based) There’s even a nice little Slideshow to help make these points.1. Don’t oversleep 2. Be optimistic 3. Have more sex 4. Get [...]
Quotes on Intention
"As I grow older, I pay less attention to what people say. I just watch what they do." -Andrew Carnegie "Life does not happen to us, it happens from us." – Mike Wickett "When we know that the cause of something is in ourselves, and that we (ourselves) are one of the few things in [...]
Taking Control of Your Life
Ok, people need positive Environments in which to live their positive, healthy life. It WAS their environment that helped them / allowed them to get the way they are. It IS their environment that somehow keeps them that way. The question is: What WILL BE their Environment in the future, to allow for healing and [...]
Share the feeling
"Share the feeling experience with as many people as possible without trying to hawk some trinket. We sell possibilities and achievement and happiness, not snake oil." – Mark @ dropdeadhappy.com
Authentic Happiness
The New Science of Happinesshttp://www.time.com/time/2005/happiness/ – awesome article, but you gotta sign-up for Time Magazine (6 mo. for $1.99, which I did). I’ll try to sum it up for you later. Basically, they’ve done Plenty of studies on Depression and some on Anger and Sadness, but very few on Happy and Happiness and Joy. So [...]
Quotes on Love
"Love is a force more formidable than any other. It is invisible, it cannot be seen or measured, yet it is powerful enough to transform you in a moment, and offer you more joy than any material possession could." – Barbara DeAngelis "True Success:Doing what you love to do.With the people you love to do [...]
Through a Child’s Eyes
When I look at a patch of dandelions, I see a bunch of weeds that are going to take over my yard. My kids see flowers for Mom and blowing white fluff you can wish on. *** When I look at an old drunk and he smiles at me, I see a smelly, dirty person [...]
More Happiness Quotes
There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy. By being happy, we sow enormous benefits upon the world. – Robert Louis Stevenson ————————————————————- Happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in length. – Robert Frost
Quotes on Happiness
See here for LOTS of quotes on Happiness… like: Albert Schweitzer: Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. Albert Schweitzer: I don’t know what your destiny will be, but one thing I do know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought [...]
Feelings Can Get Stuck
From PyschologyHelp.com: "Many therapists have elevated feelings almost to godlike status. They are extremely important. If you cannot feel, you are most definitely psychologically unhealthy. Also, the more you cannot feel, the unhealthier you are. There has been much essential therapy emphasis on learning to feel and to express emotions." but, they also warn (and [...]
Quotes on Feeling
"With just a little education and practice on how to manage your emotions, you can move into a new experience of life so rewarding that you will be motivated to keep on managing your emotional nature in order to sustain it. The payoff is delicious in terms of improved quality of life." – Doc Childre
Self Discipline and Success
Self-denial: Is it good for you? "Self-denial puts you in charge of your thoughts and feelings and not at the mercy of them and this is useful when you’re feeling low or obsessing about something. To have the power to stop thinking about that which upsets you is an advantage. It is no good just [...]
Help me help you.
"Help me help you!" (quick, what movie? read on for answer) One of the biggest struggles we have is Getting People to Help Themselves. One of the places we are truly Powerless, is in dealing with other people’s Free Will. We cannot make people want to learn. We cannot make people want to heal. [...]
PTSD
Great article / testimonial by Bob Parsons (owner of GoDaddy.com) about getting (Viet Nam), living with, identifying and healing PTSD. Blog posting:http://www.bobparsons.com/index.php?/archives/18-Go-Daddy-adopts-USMC-Rifle-Company.-PTSD-and-my-experience-with-it..html Here’s another link, from Bob’s article, citing a study showing the very high incidence of PTSD in soldiers in and after Iraq.http://abcnews.go.com/Nightline/story?id=331092&page=1 According to Doc, PTSD is about pictures and images and sounds [...]
Hide our Feelings Less
"Every day, we can hide our feelings less, so we can love each other more." – Barbra Streisand"Why Let it Go?"‘Til I Love You album
Blessings
"Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting." *Bernard Meltzer, American Law Professor
5 Steps to Healthy Living
The 5 Steps to Healing and Feeling K.A.E.R.R. :: 1. Know what you Feel. 2. Accept your Feelings. 3. Express your Feelings in positive ways. 4. Release the negative feelings that have been inside your body for so long. 5. Replace the negatives with positives. Turn your sadness to Joy, your anger to Love and [...]
Feeling Cocky
It seems that whenever I start to feel COCKY, I get slammed somehow. it’s very strange, but it’s happened a lot of times. – – – Personally proud, and responsible and powerful – – those are all fine. but if I get to feeling actually Cocky — where I think I’m really special in one [...]
It’s all about Feelings
Unhappy people DON’T KNOW WHAT they Feel.Lost people DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO with their Feelings.Fat people SWALLOW their Feelings.Addicts try to CHANGE their Feelings.CoDependants DENY their Feelings.Victims BLAME their Feelings.Runners AVOID their Feelings.etc. "If we know what we Feel, we’ll know who we are and what we want." – Doc Downing, PhD, LMFT
Criminals and Feelings
I’d suggest that most Crimes in the USA are DIRECTLY RELATED to people NOT being able to manage their Feelings & Emotions!?! I have no evidence to support that (yet), but I’d bet it’s true. drugs theft fights murder rape they’re ALL feelings-based crimes! Wow. I think we better get the word out. What do [...]
Feelings are the BOSS
Your Feelings really are in charge. I hate to break it to you, but if you think your Head is in charge of your Heart, you’re DREAMIN’!
The way it is
You won’t Heal what you won’t Feel! I used to say "You can’t Heal, what you can’t Feel" but someone mentioned last night at a class Reunion (thanks, Lori), that’s it’s really "won’t"… not "can’t". What’s the difference? Personal Power. Intention. Powerful vs. Powerless. Control. BIG dif!
Thanks for the tsunami, God!
Do you realize what God just did? He created a global-sized catastrophe to get our Attention! He saw that us humans STILL haven’t figured out how to get along, so he decided to help. He created such a huge problem – – more bodies litter the earth today than any other single day in history [...]
Quotes on Fear2
"We can’t fear the past. Fear is a future thing. And since the future’s all in our heads, fear must be a head thing." – Tom Payne — "I have not ceased being fearful, but I have ceased to let fear control me." – Erica Jong
Post #200
Well, ladies and gents, this is it. Post #200 on this Blog. Took about 10 months. And over 4,500 people have now been here. Almost all of them came from SEs. This site is in the top 5-10 on many of the top search engines for such phrases as: feelings and emotions, control feelings, control [...]
You can DIE from not knowing this!
Here’s a new study on STROKES, finds that many people felt intense Anger, and drastically changed their Body posture, within 2 hours of having their Stroke. "An Israeli study suggests a link between experiencing an angry or frustrating moment and an immediate risk of Stroke." My guess is that most of these people had a [...]
Unhappiness
Unhappiness = not feeling the way you want to feel. Happiness = feeling the way you want to feel. (yep, it’s that simple.)
How-to Articles to Write
Articles to write How to FeelHow to change your Anger into LoveHow to change your Sadness into JoyHow to change your Depression into Personal PowerHow to Feel ALIVE! The first step, in all of these, is to Allow Your Feelings!
Being Afraid
if you’re afraid of someone, you’re no much fun to be around. get some courage… even if it to be able to be around cool people. cool people are seldom afraid. if they are afraid, they’re not afraid to say so (hmmm.) but they’re not afraid much. or at least not constantly.
Personal Responsibility
Personal Responsibility is the KEY to Healthy Living! It’s the only way to fly, on your own wings. Personal Responsibility is sometimes about: being willing to hear stuff you don’t want to hear. It’s about being willing to feel things you don’t want to feel iIt’s about being willing to say stuff you don’t want [...]
Real boys do cry!
"Boys do cry – but they find it much harder than girls to talk about their feelings or seek help when they are distressed, new research shows." Read this article about a study done on boys, 10-14, and how they learn to NOT express themselves. They found that 47 per cent said they never talked [...]
I’ll Stand by You
I’ll Stand by You Oh.Why you look so sad?the tears are in your eyescome on and come to me, now don’t be ashamed to crylet me see you through’cause I’ve seen the dark side, too. when the night falls on youdon’t know what to donothing you’d confesscan make me love you less. I’ll stand by [...]
Quotes on Anger2
"Any person capable of angering you becomes your master; he can anger you only when you permit yourself to be disturbed by him." *Epictetus {50-138 Phrygian Philosopher} "At the core of all anger is a need that is not being fulfilled." – Marshall B. Rosenberg "Anger is that powerful internal force that can blow out [...]
Quotes on Fear
"Everything you want is waiting on the other side of fear." – Sarah Chappell, M.A. "If you let your fear of consequence prevent you from following your deepest instinct, your life will be safe, expedient and thin." – Katharine Butler Hathaway {American Author} "COURAGE is resistance to fear, mastery of fear – not absence of [...]
Handling Emotions
A Teaching Guide: Handling Emotions This site tries to teach teens how to deal with their emotions, peer pressures, respecting others, etc. They have a dozen or so videos, discussion materials and more. Their suggestions for handling your emotions:• Be honest with yourself. • Talk to somebody about your feelings. • Don’t ignore your emotions, [...]
Quotes on Lack
"Money cannot fill an empty soul." – Julia Cameron & Mark Bryan "Both abundance and lack exist simultaneously in our lives, as parallel realities. It is always our conscious choice which secret garden we will tend… when we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but are grateful for the abundance [...]
eBook on Depression
Here’s an eBook on the "7 Steps to a Depression Free Life – A Self-Help Guide". Gillian says: "I’ve had years when I had no serious episodes and times when I’ve spent weeks on end unable to find a reason to get out of bed. But now my struggle with depression is over. I’ve broken [...]
Emotional Resources
Wow. Here’s a very elaborate site (actually 5 related sites!) devoted to describing, defining, explaining, listing, and recovering from so many forms of feelings and emotions. Called "Emotional Feelings". All written by 1 person — Kathleen. It starts: Welcome… i’m glad to see you! if you’ve been searching for answers about who you are & [...]
Difference between Feelings & Emotions2
I ran a search on Google Answers for the difference between Feelings & Emotions, and got quite an assortment of interesting answers… from doctors, therapists, philosophers, columnists and others. example:“Emotions are cross cultural – the same all over the world. Feelings are a subset of all of our mind-body states (disappointment, hunger, hope, etc. There [...]
Dealing with Grief3
Grief and the holidays: Coping on your own terms "For most people, the holidays are a time of joy and celebration with family and friends. But for those who’ve experienced the loss of a loved one, it can be a lonely and depressing time." Read this informative article from the Mayo Clinic – good, practical [...]
Men and Tears
"…a University of Warwick historian researching the expression of male emotion through tears reveals there is a long history of men and crying, and that tears were for centuries a class issue. New research reveals that while the phenomenon of crying men is hardly new, for tears to be acceptable in Early Modern England they [...]
Dealing with Grief2
I was just directed to a wonderful site for those dealing with grief and loss. "Offering help, hope and healing."http://www.griefjourney.com/ Specifically, here’s a movie that might bring some comfort over the holiday season.http://www.griefjourney.com/holidays_h.htm Check it out. "While we must never minimize the pain and the difficulty of grief, we need to hold on to hope [...]
Life Itself – poem
"The most visible creators are those artists whose medium is life itself.The ones who express the inexpressible – without brush, hammer, clay, or guitar.They neither paint nor sculpt.Their medium is simply being.Whatever their presence touches has increased life.They see, but don’t have to draw…Because they are the artists of being alive." J. Stone
Steps to Feeling Happy
The 4 Steps to Creating Happiness — K.A.E.R. Know – Figure out what you’re actually feeling, put a name and a face to each of your Feelings. Be able to Identify them quickly and accurately. Accept – Allow your body to feel what it feels, know what it knows, learn what it needs to learn. [...]
Feelings re: Job Loss
8 Strategies for Bouncing Back from Job Loss Here’s a good article on dealing with your feelings after losing your job. Outline Do nothing. Resist the temptation to call business associates or contact search firms. Deal with your emotions. Don’t imagine you can hide your feelings. Don’t think your emotions will go away if you [...]
Clueless
"It’s surprising how many persons go through life without ever recognizing that their feelings toward other people are largely determined by their feelings toward themselves, and if you’re not comfortable within yourself, you can’t be comfortable with others." – Sydney J. Harris
Study on Emotions
Study tracks people’s daily emotions "It found that in general, people in the group woke up a little grumpy but soon entered a state of mild pleasure that increased by degrees through the day, punctuated by occasional bouts of anxiety, frustration and anger. Predictably, the researchers found that commuting to work, housework and facing a [...]
Quotes on Success
"Too often, people focus only on results. But getting results without learning something or without having fun is incomplete. So is having fun without getting the results, or having fun without learning something new to help and empower you in the future. Accomplishment is all three: the Result, Personal Growth and having Fun!" – Peter [...]
Go for a Walk
The other day, I went for a walk with my daughter. It was wonderful. go for a walk.you don’t have to "start walking" (and start ‘shoulding’ on yourself) Just go for a walk. just one.if you like it, you might decide to go again.
How do you react to stress?
A carrot, an egg and a cup of coffee… A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed [...]
Quote from Mother Theresa
Final Analysis People are often unreasonable,illogical, and self-centered;Forgive them anyway. If you are kind,People may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;Be kind anyway. If you are successful,You will win some false friends and some true enemies;Succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank,People may cheat you;Be honest and frank anyway. What you spend years building,Someone [...]
Dealing with Anger2
Here’s yet another on Anger: – Healthy ways to deal with Anger Take a time-out. Own your anger. Look at what you could change. Resolve your anger in a healthy way. – Unhealthy ways to deal with Anger. and a rating system for each.
Dealing with Anger
Here’s a 2 part-er re: Dealing with Anger from EQ Coach, Susan Dunn: Understanding AngerWhere it comes fromCan We Ignore it?Can we Accept it?Let It PassUse it (Positively)You manage it, or it manages you read on…Part 1Part 2
Teens deal with feelings toward death
Here’s an Excellent article about how teens deal with their Feelings around death, especially that of a friend / classmate. example:"Teens have alternative ways to express themselves," said Kendall Palladino, director of the bereavement and spiritual services program for the Regional Hospice of Western Connecticut. "Adolescents attempt to do something in different ways, less structured" [...]
Stress during the Holidays
Here’s some good practical advice for handling stress, and your Feelings, during the Holidays! "Make room for feelings – all of them, not just the joy and cheer we think we’re supposed to be feeling. The holidays trigger emotions, and they are bound to arise in adults as well as children. Factor in any major [...]
Dealing with Grief
Excellent article on Grief. Stages, stories, hope. Their points? If it’s you, GET SUPPORT! If not — BE THERE AND LISTEN — People need to Talk about it!
What does Love mean to you?
Here’s a cool article written by a 16-year-old high schooler. Thomas Pardee describes a day which "touched me on a personal level and made me think…" "We learned that people are very much like icebergs; there is the tip, the 10 percent of who we really are that we display for everyone else to see, [...]
Shoulds vs. Rules
I have found that we often confuse Shoulds for Rules. Values, Norms, Mores, Socially-acceptable, politically correct behaviour – they’re all Shoulds. I enjoy changing them. for example, I’m at an AM/PM pumping gas into the motor home. I’m in my socks. Some people would be agast at this, but the pavement was clean and I [...]
A short Personality Test
I got this in an email today, answered it honestly and found the interpretations to be both interesting and accurate. Since it’s the day after Thanksgiving, I noticed the test helped me take stock in what and who was most important in my life. (I changed the rules slightly, as I tend to do.) You’ll [...]
Get a Life
"How to Get and Keep a Life."practical career and life suggestions that can really help you Take Control. Full story.
Feelings Toward Yourself
"It’s surprising how many persons go through life without ever recognizing that their feelings toward other people are largely determined by their feelings toward themselves, and if you’re not comfortable within yourself, you can’t be comfortable with others." – Sydney J. Harris
Quotes on Control
"As long as we are controlling things, the universe can’t." – Dave McPhail, New Directions
TCOYF: with Cancer
Here’s a note and additional info about Taking control of your feelings when Cancer is in the picture. "We would all like to have control over our health, and our future. Being told that you have cancer can make you feel fear, panic, uncertainty and despair, and you might feel that you have lost control [...]
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCEIn Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman argues that the conventional view of human intelligence is far too narrow in that it does not take into account an aspect of our lives which plays an important role in the success or failure of just about everything we do. Goleman describes the five major components of emotional [...]
Self-Science Emotional Skills Curriculum
Self-Science is a curriculum and a process for teaching social and emotional skills. The curriculum pursues 10 goals. Goal 1: Legitimizing Self-Knowledge as Subject Matter Goal 2: Developing a Trusting Attitude Toward the Class and others Goal 3: Becoming More Aware of Multiple Feelings Goal 4: Developing Communication Skills for Affective States Goal 5: Disclosing [...]
Emotional Presence vs. Emotional Depth
Here’s a great article on Emotional Intelligence and how Emotional Presence and Emotional Depth differ. Read on, as they are both important EQ tools… Emotional depth is the ability to handle complex feelings — to "sit in the middle of the fire and not shrink back." vs. Emotional presence is the ability to authentically show [...]
Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence (EQ) is the ability to build people up, bring them together, and motivate them to do their best. And that’s why study after study has ranked EQ atop the core competencies that determine a company’s success. Brains Alone Don’t Make a Leader.
Maintaining Overall Health
"Feeling connected to yourself and others, having a sense of purpose in life, feeling hopeful, being loved and to love, all help you create the life you want for yourself and are the key ingredients for maintaining overall health." Essi Systems
Quotes on Conformity
"I think the reward for conformity is that everyone likes you except yourself." – Rita Mae Brown "Once in a while it really hits people that they don’t have to experience the world in the way they have been told to." – Alan Keightley "To exist is to change, to change is to mature, to [...]
A Machine to help your Feelings!
Imagine this…You have an emotional "issue" that’s bugged you your whole life (like abandonment, or being rejected, or dreading a punishment). You sit down, get into a nice calm place, get hooked up to a machine and Wham — the next thing you know, you’re all "Fixed". That feeling you’ve been carrying your whole life [...]
Essential to Recovery
Mary Ellen Copeland in The Mental Health American, Fall 2000 says: "Taking back control of your life by making your own decisions and your own choices is essential to recovery. It will help you to feel better about yourself and may even help you to relieve some of the symptoms that have been troubling to [...]
Be who you are!
"Be who you are and say what you feel because… those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind." – Dr. Seuss
Emotional Intelligence at Work
Here’s a "framework" (list of skills) involved for Emotional Intelligence at Work. It’s a great list of competencies — rate yourself! http://www.eiconsortium.org/research/emotional_competence_framework.htm
Wanna Share?
My chosen job is to go out into the world, figure out how to do this Life thing, and come back and report it to you. If I’m not teaching or writing, I’m watching, and listening, and learning. If I was in formal school, I couldn’t spend any more time on my classes and homework [...]
I just got fired — Yahoo!
I JUST GOT FIRED as a Coach, and I am SOOOOO EXCITED ABOUT IT!!! Why? My CLIENT DOESN’T NEED ME ANYMORE!!! YAHOO!!!!! I have Succeeded, and She has Succeeded! We both won. We did it. Now, she can say "I Feel." and better yet, "I FEEL [...]
Courage
"COURAGE is resistance to fear, MASTERY of fear — not absence of fear." – Mark Twain (1835 – 1910)
Quotes on Faith
"The most valuable things in life are not measured in monetary terms. The really important things are not houses and lands, stocks and bonds, automobiles and real estate, but friendships, trust, confidence, empathy, mercy, love and faith." – Bertrand Russell, 1872-1970, British Philosopher "Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done [...]
Read on…
Here’s a HUGE selection of Articles, eBooks, eCourses, etc. mostly dealing with emotions, personal growth and Harmony. Check it out…
Quotes on Anger
"Anger is that powerful internal force that can blow out the light of reason." – Ralph Waldo Emerson How does anger typically surface in your life? We usually get angry at someone, don’t we? We judge that someone has done something wrong and we want them to be punished. In truth, the actions of others [...]
A Real Man/Woman
A real man knows a real womanwhen she sees her. A real woman knows a real manain’t fraid to please her. A real man just can’t deny a woman’s worth. You will loseif you choosenot to put her first. – Alicia Keys "A Woman’s Worth" We MUST learn how to treat each other. We can [...]
Untapped Spiritual Powers
The Sheepish Lion (A parable)Once there was a great lioness who went hunting with her new born cub. It happened that while attacking and chasing a flock of sheep, the she-lion made a wrong move, fell off a cliff and died. The cub was left in the midst of the sheep and grew up with [...]
Taking Control of Your Fear
“The Sedona Method is a unique program for making positive changes in your life. As you learn this simple process of releasing the underlying emotions that rob you of abundance and joy, your fear and anxiety will gently slip away…. You’ll be shocked by how quickly your life changes!” – Cheryl Richardson, New York Times [...]
Connections
Connections are the Key The only way to find true Happiness is in your connections with others. It may be only 1 person, or even a pet. But imagine having NO Connections with any living creature… Yikes. Connections = Relationships “Every dollar you’ve ever made. And every dollar you ever will make. Is based on [...]
Know Yourself 3
If you know what you feel, you’ll know who you are. If you know what you feel, you’ll know where to go. If you know what you feel, you’ll know who you are Not. If you know what you feel, you’ll just know. – Matt
Letting it all hang out!
One of the most intense things you can do with your body, while staying in one place, is Head-Banger Dancing… ahhhhhhahahhhhahahahhhahahahahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy You know you’re right!!!!!!!!You know you’re right!!!!!!!!You know you’re right!!!!!!!!You know you’re right!!!!!!!! Nirvana Teens have found this way to let it all hang out!we can learn from them.take kids/people to a place [...]
2 Types of Learning
Information vs. Transformational Learning I just learned an important distinction between 2 main schools of learning… Information Learning is what we do in ‘regular’ schools… the teacher talks, students listen. Students are tested and attempt to regurgitate exactly what the teacher told them. Transformational Learning is where you are Actively involved in the learning process. [...]
Quotes on Guilt
Guilt “When guilt rears its ugly head confront it, discuss it and let it go. The past is over. It is time to ask what can we do right, not what did we do wrong. Forgive yourself and move on.” –Bernie S. Siegel “I have made it a rule of my life never to regret [...]
Let’s spread the word!
"Each one, teach one. Each one, reach one. Until all are taught." – Mark Victor Hansen
Cocky & Funny2
I got this from a How to Get a Date site… which means it’s their basic Law of Attraction. The formula is: COCKY+FUNNY Cocky alone is not attractive. Arrogance repels people like bad breath. But a FUNNY arrogance… Ahhh, that’s the stuff that miracles are made of. from http://www.datingdummies.com/archive/article_9-17.htm
Love you with all my heart
“Love you forever, and forever. Love you with all my heart. Love you when we’re together. Love you when we’re apart. Make it easy to be near you. and the things you do endear you to me. – Alison Krauss
How would you handle this situation?
I’m sitting in the morning daylight outside a grocery store, at a stone table, with my laptop on the table in front of me. I’m fighting to read my screen in the glare of the early morning sun. The good people of Napa, CA are visiting the grocery store for their provisions for a Sunday. [...]
Advanced Healing
Agree – with an underlying belief. Become aware of it and decide it is True ex: “My Grandma’s love was the purest love I’ve ever felt.” Reject – a belief / decide it is false ex: “No one will ever love me.” Transcend – it doesn’t matter if the old belief is true or false. [...]
GET CONTROL!
Control Your Feelings, Control Your LIFE!
Check it Out!
The New Directions weekend is a real life-changer (and a darned good deal, too). For $299, you get the weekend, Doc’s awesome book “Taking Control of Your Life”, a long weekend of incredibly intensive growth, a cool celebration graduation and after-class follow-up (by yours truly)– plus, once a graduate, always a friend so coming back [...]
More Quotes…
“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and then go do it. The world needs people who have come alive.” – Harold Thurman Whitman “He who knows others is learned. He who knows himself is wise.” – Lao Tse “Less Crazy, More Sane. Less Different, More Same. More [...]
Self-Centered vs. Me-Centered
Self-Centered vs. Me-Centered I know myself I know that the best way to take care of myself, emotionally, is to be there for others to help people be happy, and learn, and grow. We, us, together FREE to be who we are, Safe, Open, loving, content, free, joy, laughter, connection, healing, growth, heaven If I’m [...]
Collecting vs. Accumulating
There’s a difference between Collecting, with heart – quality, meaning, clean, nice, loving, pride, value, passion, slow, careful, precious and Accumulating – hoarding, grabbing, bogarting, taking, selfish, me-centered.
How Journaling Keeps You Healthy
Studies show writing about traumatic events helps you recover and move on. Here’s how. When James W. Pennebaker, M.D., faced a stressful time in his marriage, he began journaling. “There are dozens of features to a relationship,” he says. “Journaling helps to slow things down and put them in perspective.” Journaling helped him understand what [...]
Controlling Life Isn’t the Answer, It’s the Problem!
Here’s a cool concept: Self-Coaching. Dr. Luciani writes some powerful articles, such as: – Are You a Prisoner of Control? – Controlling Life Isn’t the Answer, It’s the Problem! – How to Stop Anxiety and Depression – Choosing the Life You Want … and more. Read on…
Our basic right to be a happy person
“It is our basic right to be a happy person, happy family, and eventually a happy world. That should be our goal.” – Dalai Lama
Being “Grown Up”
I just realized that there are different KINDS of Responsible, Mature, “Grown-up” Adults… One kind is a worried, controlling, non-trusting, shut-down, non-feeling, yucky kind of adult. Another is an aware, compassionate, understanding, grounded, happy, life-enhancing, hopeful, joyous kind of adult. Both can be Responsible. Both can be Mature. Both can be “Grown up”. Which are [...]
ND on the Air
How about we make the NDW weekend workshop into a show on TV. A show where people watch us processing people! Taking them thru the Statement. Helping them Break-thru their Feelings! We’ll film a regular class, but we’ll focus on a couple of people each episode. Apply some get 15-minute phone interview with Matt if [...]
“Constructively deal with my life issues”
“Since taking the workshop I have been able to really take a look at myself and understand how certain events that happened to me in my childhood. adolescent and adulthood years thwarted my growth as a mother, wife, and friend. Now I have learned and am still learning how to constructively deal with my life [...]
“What makes them tick”
“It’s the best seminar of its type that I’ve ever taken in 40 years of working on myself. I highly recommend this introspective course to anyone who really wants to understand what makes them tick.” – Rev. Don D.
“After I got angry I felt better.”
Hi Matt, I’m doing great, actually. The first few days after the program I was a little shaky. I was sad because the safety and security of the workshop was over. But within a few days I began reading Doc’s book and reinforcing the new skills I have learned. I’m working on my anger journal [...]
Guilt is Optional!
There’s one wonderful feature to Guilt… It’s 100% OPTIONAL. You choose to feel bad about something or NOT. Once you get started, it’s sometimes hard to stop. But the reality is, that GUILT IS OPTIONAL! (you can take it or leave it)
Reconnecting to the Precious
““What is the quest you are on? How are you searching for meaning in your individual existence? Or, to reformulate this down to a more simple expression—What makes you get up in the morning?” Marc Gafni, Soul Prints: Your Path to Fulfillment Sometimes, we just need to take time out to re-connect. While wandering on [...]
LEARN!
Learn to Love again. Learn to Laugh again. Learn to Feel again. Take Control of your Feelings & Emotions at the New Directions Weekend Workshop! http://www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com
It’s Easier with a Coach!
You may be able to reach your personal and/or business Goals by yourself. You may be able to figure it out alone. But with a Coach, it’s a SLAM DUNK! You gotta let them (me) push you a bit, if you truly want to get THROUGH your limitations, pitfalls, negative beliefs and weaknesses. A coach [...]
Victims v. Victors
Are you a Victim or a Victor?!? Victims Blame ————— Victors Learn “Ultimately, the victors are the ones who figure out what went wrong and re-arrange their life so that it never happens again. “You already possess an amazing ability to ‘know’ (read: Feel) which direction to go. You simply need to learn how to [...]
Add Spice to your Life!
Feelings add SPICE to your Life: – Color – Texture – Depth – Meaning – Value – Friendship – Love – Happiness – Joy – Compassion – Understanding – Awareness – Wisdom – More Joy! – More staying up late. – More running and skipping. – More laughter and Lightness!
Best thing in the World
The BEST thing in the world, Is LOVE. The WORST thing in the world, Is WAR.
Are You Mentor Material?
Are You Mentor Material? – by Patti Sarr, teacher, writer, thinker Over the years, I have come to realize that having a great mentor can truly have a positive impact on my life—not only as a busy mom and career woman, but as an individual seeking to expand emotionally and spiritually. Personally, many of the [...]
Trust
You gotta trust SOMEBODY! You just gotta have at least 1 place in the world where you feel completely Safe, and open to being your very self. – Matt
I’ve Changed!
Since I’ve been “in touch” with my Feelings: I’m more grounded, less frantic. More excited, less afraid. I’m more aware, less in the dark. More smart, less naïve. More calm, less scattered. Less upset, more uplifting. Less scattered, more flattered. Less criticism, more encouragement. Less pain, more Joy. Less annoyed, more ALIVE!!
Quotes on Forgiveness
“To get to forgiveness, we first have to work through the painful experiences that require it.” – Christiane Northrup “We must let ourselves feel all the painful destruction we want to forgive rather than swallow it in denial. If we do not face it, we cannot forgive it.” – Kenneth McNoll Remember, Acceptance does not [...]
The inexpressible comfort of feeling Safe
“Oh the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are — chaff and grain together — certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with the breath [...]
Desiderata
Desiderata Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive [...]
Self-Processing Steps
Self-Processing Steps 1. Allow the Crying. 2. FEEL what it’s based on. 3. Find the Belief that is Behind the feeling. 4. See if you Agree with it. 5. If so, keep it and just continue crying until done. 6. If it’s not a solid Belief yet, try to Let it go, give it no [...]
Feeling Your Feelings
Guess what? – – Avoiding your Feelings, doesn’t work! – – – Denying your Feelings, doesn’t work! – – – – Drinking away your Feelings, doesn’t work! The only thing that REALLY WORKS, is FEELING YOUR FEELINGS!
Fear is an Experiential Thing
Fear must be dealt with Experiencially. You can talk about it all day long, but it won’t change a thing until you let yourself Feel it!
Get Started…
Do yourself a favor and at least TRY, no Get Started, to resolve stuff from your past. Take a good, honest, feeling-filled look into your past and see what you find there. “Be not the slave of your own past – plunge into the sublime seas, dive deep and swim far – so you shall [...]
What’s Wrapped Around Your Heart?
How do you keep your past relationships wrapped around your heart? Make a list of old loves, what was cool about them (what attracted you to them), what happened (in a word or two), what you learned from that experience and then see how you feel toward each one now. Is there any residual hurt, [...]
From Bleeding to Healing
If you’re really Angry and hurt, you gotta get that OUT of your SYSTEM. Somehow. Trust me, it’s coming out anyway… but probably not in ways that work for you, or those around you. Like blasting your family or folks at work, or even your friends. Guys become a-holes, women become b_’s You’re unhappy. You’re [...]
Let’s Join Forces!
Hire me to stand beside you To support you To encourage you To boost you up and cheer for you! To stand beside you when you weep. To be that loving voice you need now and then. Feeling stuck? Not reaching your potential>? Repeating unsuccessful patterns? Not living the life you want to live? As [...]
Know Yourself2
“He who knows others is learned. He who knows himself is wise.” – Lao Tse
“He who angers you controls you.”
On the highway yesterday I saw a sign on the front yard of a church which read: “He who angers you controls you.” Thought I’d pass that along… – Kimberly Parry, coach
2 Different Kinds of Guilt
Punishing Guilt vs. Productive Guilt There are 2 types of Guilt. One is a powerful, punishing, shame-on-you Guilt. It’s designed to make you feel: – Bad – Down – Less than – Stupid – Shameful – etc. The other kind of Guilt is an equally powerful, what I call “Productive Guilt”. This is the kind [...]
Strive to be so strong…
“Strive to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. To be too wise for worry, too tolerant for hate, and too courageous to be fearful. In short, be Happy.” – Unknown Source
The 4 D’s of Spiritual Growth
Reflect on this pathway for meaningful growth: DISCIPLINE – To create change in our lives, we need to consistently focus on what we want. DETACHMENT – Practice the art of detached observation. Let go of automatic defenses and patterns. DISCERNMENT – Seek to discern the lower from the higher. What is self-serving and what is [...]
Great info on Feelings
Here’s some great info on Feelings from Coping.org. Includes a long list of words to Describe what you are feeling. – remember, Identification is the first step toward Taking Control! – Matt
Spiritual Healing
Yoga Gives Freedom From Emotional Reactiveness “By the practice of yoga man frees himself from the reactions of likes and dislikes by filling his heart with unchanging ecstatic divine joy. When you have mastery of your feelings you abide in your true state. The true state of the Self, the soul, is bliss, wisdom, love, [...]
Feelings are God’s built-in alarm system
Feelings are God’s built-in alarm system for our thoughts. If you are feeling an emotion other than joy, our natural inheritance, check the thoughts you are having at that moment. Every thought, and I mean every one, that does not put you in a joyful state has as its underlying premise the belief that you [...]
Ya Know?
I know it to be true because … well … I just know it to be true. You don’t know until you know. You don’t even know you can know until you know. It’s fun to know. … and most rewarding. ya know?
Benefits to Feeling
know who you are understand why you do what you do understand people better connect with people better get along better at work enjoy life more more in love more in touch more power more joy more laughter more Freedom lighter feeling braver less controlled, and controlling less angry less depressed more alive less blaming [...]
The Down Side to Feelings
Feelings HURT so much, sometimes Anger is a bitch, sometimes Reality sucks, sometimes feel pain deeper personal responsibility is a real drag sometimes know exactly who you’re angry at, and why you might want to be around people even more there are some things you won’t want to know out of comfort zone more often [...]
The Last Great Adventure
“The last great adventure… the journey inward.” – MCP, 2002
Mother Earth
Oh, you of wounded spirit, I offer you a place to rest; Walk among my mountains, and climb to eagle’s nest. Come swim my oceans, and feel my desert’s fire. Sit beside running waters to reclaim your heart’s desire. Seek my silent forests, or walk my open plains. Travel the deepest jungles ‘til you hear [...]
Be Not the Slave of your Own Past
Be not the slave of your own past. Plunge into the sublime seas, dive deep, and swim far… So you shall come back with self-respect, with renewed power, with an advanced experience, that shall explain and overlook the old. Ralph Waldo Emerson
Who’s in Control?
Some things we have almost NO control over. weather, laws, taxes, other people Some things we have almost TOTAL control over! our feelings, behaviors, attitudes, beliefs For best results, where do you think it would be the most productive areas to focus our efforts?
Know Yourself!
“He who knows others is learned. He who knows himself is wise.” – Lao Tse
Don’t feel ‘Sorry’ for people!
Don’t feel SORRY for people, feel SAD for them, instead. “Sorry” means you believe they are Powerless, and in a way, could put them ‘beneath you’. It also denies your emotions. Feeling ‘Sad’ for people puts you as Equals. It shows compassion, acceptance, feeling, connection. You can fully experience WITH the other person, and you [...]
Passion
Anger = Passion. Must be felt BIG, expressed BIG.
Emotional Pain is not Terminal
“I once believed that emotional pain was terminal. Yet I found the opposite to be true. NOT dealing with my emotions almost killed me.” – Karen M.
More and Less
More Power. Less Blame. Less Crazy, More Sane. Less Different, More Same. More Joy, Less Pain. – mcp
Violence = Powerlessness
“I don’t feel verbally angry anymore.” “I don’t feel violently angry anymore.” – Jayne D. (after attending the New Directions Workshop a few times. “All violence comes from feelings of Powerlessness.” – Doc Downing, PhD, LMFT, MSW
Being “Right”
Would you rather be Right or Close? If you have to be Right, you will probably also be Alone. Winner takes nothing.
Covering Up
Men tend to cover Tears with Anger. Women tend to cover Anger with Tears. – mcp
Friend to Friend Process
Here’s one process for clearing an emotional blockage about a specific event. Answer these Questions: 1. What do you WANT for you? (NO-ONE ELSE, JUST YOU!) 2. What are you FEELING(identify the emotion that goes with) 3. What are you DOING (to get what you want)? 4. What do you NEED to do about it? [...]
Personal Power article
Great blog post on using your Personal Power… what limits you (fears) vs. what motivates you (passions). What lights you up? vs. What shuts you up? Mitch also writes: Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Read article by Mitch Meyerson, coach and therapist
Love Unites
“Beliefs separate. Love unites.” – Paul Ferrini
I Love
“I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.. “ I contend that we do EVERYTHING out of “selfishness”. Everything. Giving, Loving, Empathizing, the whole works. Why? ’cause it makes US feel good. If we are in touch with our feelings, we can Love [...]
Boundaries
“I love my boundaries… they set me free!” Emotional “Boundaries” are a wonderful thing! They are your Limits of what you are willing to put up with and what you are willing to take from others. They are your Values, your Beliefs, your Rules, your Guidelines. And, HOW do you keep those all-important Boundaries? 2 [...]
Collaboration 101
I just listened in to a wonderful call with Micheal Port on Collaboration and Thinking BIG. If anyone out there is interested in working together on BIGger projects (websites, Ebooks, workshops, etc), I’m all ears. Have some collaborative projects going now, but there’s SO much to be done, let’s get together and “Git R Done”! [...]
Difference between Feelings & Emotions
What’s the Dif? Dictionary Def’s Feelings feel•ing (lots of def’s, but here are a few…) 1. The ability to express strong emotion, especially in performance • Play the piece again with more feeling. 2. Something felt emotionally • a perceived emotion 3. Ability to express emotion • the capacity to experience emotion etc. Emotion e•mo•tion 1. [...]
Suppressing Emotions Increases Anger
Study Shows That, for Women, Suppressing Emotions Increases Anger Women who hold back feelings of anger may end up more irate in the long run. According to new research, women experience a rebound effect when they suppress angry emotions, which can result in greater feelings of fury. entire article… (Matt’s note: the more you hold [...]
Teaching EQ to Kids
Here’s a cool site that teaches EQ (Emotional Quotient, or Emotional Intelligence) to kids. Nicely done, with lots of good info. Self-Science.com
A Therapist’s Perspective
One of the great questions of all time is the question, “What is the proper way to integrate and deal with our feelings and emotions?” A christian therapist’s view. Read on…
About Matt Perelstein
Matt Perelstein combines a unique blend of “attitude, with heart”. He’s all about getting results, making your life look, and more importantly Feel, the way you want it to. It’s a tricky balance between selfishness and selflessness (taking vs. giving), but it can be done… and it works. If you can truly learn to “take [...]
Knowledge is Power
The poor man said: “Knowledge is power,” And he read another book. The rich man said: ”Power is what you do with knowledge,” And he took action.
Expressing vs. Whining
What’s the difference between Complaining or Expressing (which can be very healthy) and Whining, Bitchin’ and Moanin’ (yuck-o)? Powerlessness! When people talk about how bad the world is, we listen empathetically. but when they feel that “There ain’t nothing I can do about it.” there’s no room to help them. When people see the world [...]
Dream Big
If there were ever a time to dare to make a difference, to do something really worth doing, that time is NOW. Not for any grand cause, necessarily — but for something that tugs at your heart, something that’s your aspiration, something that’s your dream. You owe it to yourself to make your days here [...]
Maintaining Balance – Full Tanks and Empty Tanks
Our family has 2 cars, a Pontiac Grand Prix (which I love – wider IS better!) and a motorhome (1998 30’ Fleetwood Bounder – which we spend a LOT of time in and we’ve put over 60,000 miles on). Driving a motorhome that much brings with it special considerations – like parking, and gas consumption, [...]
Open Up
“Let my love open the door, to your Heart” – Pete Townsend
I am angry…
Q: What does the Bible say about anger? (excerpt) “Answer: Handling anger is an important topic. One experienced counselor stated that 50% of the people who came in for counseling had problems with dealing with their anger. Anger can shatter communication and tear apart relationships and ruins both the joy and health of many. And [...]
I am afraid…
We say: “I am afraid.” But the Bible says: God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. – Timothy 1:7 http://www.carm.org/kjv/2Tim/2Tim_1.htm
Mental Illness Widespread
GLOBAL STUDY FINDS MENTAL ILLNESS WIDESPREAD Mental illnesses are common and under-treated in many developed and developing countries, with the highest rate found in the United States (26.4 of people!), according to a study. The most common ailments everywhere except Ukraine were anxiety disorders, which include panic attacks, phobias and post-traumatic stress disorder. (Wow. All [...]
Controlling your Heart
Wouldn’t you love to have control over your Heart? Wouldn’t it be wonderful to Choose who you love, and how much, and when? Wouldn’t it be awesome to be able to Open up when it’s safe and feels good, and to Close up when things aren’t going well? What an amazing skill, to be able [...]
Powerless –> Powerful
Continuum from Powerless to Powerful. Panic Terrified Afraid Nervous – – - AWARE, CALM & STRONG – – – On Guard Tense Fired Up On the Attack Balistic!
Why We Do What We Do — 2 perspectives
At the MillionaireMind workshops, to explain to people Harv Eker teaches TFAR. Thoughts —> Feelings – – -> Actions – – -> Results We teach EMFB: Event – – -> Meaning – – -> Feeling – – -> Behavior both are correct. Ours goes back to an identifiable event, or multiple events, that people experience, [...]
Before and After
"How it has become" (before ND) forever ambiguousnever tryingnowhere flyingdeath becoming time spyinglove defyingcaught in a trapin a recursive miserywithout a way out remembering the pastliving in a memoryforegoing the futurefor moments that don’t last finding a song to passmaybe a drink to lastwithout a hope or desiretrying to be an animalfighting care and…fuck it [...]
Life is not a journey to the grave
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming — “Whoa–What a Ride!!”
Ok and not Ok
Feelings expressed for the following reasons are fine: – Clarity – Release – Acceptance – Remove Judgments – Go for deeper feelings (ex: express anger to get to the hurt underneath) not Ok – whining – blaming (short-term is fine, in an effort to find your part in it all) – one-up-manship / competition – [...]
Blueprints of the Mind – money
Here’s a link to a website that offers help with our beliefs, values, and experiences surrounding Money and wealth. They say that people base their decisions about money on what we saw, heard and experienced as a child (right on!). They have a free audio seminar that’s excellent — check it out (the second half [...]
Don’t sin
“Don’t sin by letting anger gain control over you. Think about it overnight and remain silent.” Psalm 4:4, NLT more on what the Bible teaches us about Anger
Why workers need to have feelings
Article in BBC News: “Why workers need to have feelings” Link: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/3020953.stm Intro: “If you want to get ahead in business nowadays, you will need more than a head. Research shows you will need a heart as well.” some Text: “One company which has turned to emotional intelligence to test candidates is cosmetics giant L’Oreal. [...]
Cocky + Funny
I got this from a How to Get a Date site… which means it’s their basic Law of Attraction. The formula is: COCKY+FUNNY Cocky alone is not attractive. Arrogance repels people like bad breath. But a FUNNY arrogance… Ahhh, that’s the stuff that miracles are made of. from http://www.datingdummies.com/archive/article_9-17.htm
I’m all about…
… education and awareness and good and love and joy and closeness and openness and having tools and having choices and being cool and calm and happy and dealing with feelings and learning about emotions and togetherness and partnering and helping each other and finding ways to be helpful and abundance and prosperity and all [...]
Success is my only (mf’n) option
“Lose Yourself” – Eminem Soundtrack for the movie “8 Mile” video preview: http://www.empiremovies.com/movies/2002/8mile.shtml Complete Lyrics It’s a tough song and movie, but the message is Excellent. Many discount it because it is Rap (as Rap is bad, right? …not always) I may not agree with the concept that “opportunity comes once in a lifetime”, but [...]
Support Group – Online
Announcing – the New Directions / 2GetHelp Support Group Meeting – Mondays at 7:30pm (California time). … at the allotted time, just make sure your computer is online, click the link below and you’ll be in with the rest of us. http://groups.msn.com/2GetHelp/chat.msnw We’d love for you to join us. We will have lively, upbeat conversations. [...]
New Directions Breakthrough Workshop
Learn to Trust and Love again (even if you’ve been burned) Find Answers to: Why Do I Keep Doing This? Understand Yourself and Others Take control of your Anger, Guilt and Depression Heal your Past and Shape Your Future Make your life FEEL ALIVE! Yes, in one short weekend, for one low price, you can [...]
I am Responsible
I Am Responsible… —————— for my life for my happiness for my health for my relationships for my well-being for my self-discipline for my intensity for my aches and pains for my drive for my passion for my money for my experience for bringing a child into the world for people believing they can count [...]
Secret
Secret = Fact + Shame Remove the Shame, and the Secret becomes just another Fact. Nasty, painful stuff happens to everyone. That’s a fact. The Shame part is optional. And was probably given to you, by someone else. Give it back. Let it go. Release the shame. The things that happened to you as a [...]
Feelings are Life!
Feelings are Natural. Feelings are Normal. Feelings are Good. Feelings are our body’s way of communicating with us. Feelings are God-given tools, to help us understand who we are and how we fit into the world around us. Feelings are not debatable. secret tip: you’ll never lose an argument if you just stick to sharing [...]
Success Story
(true story, names are confidential) Jane grew up in a violently dysfunctional household. Her father was an alcoholic and her mother an enabler. She felt small and powerless and unimportant, as they raged and fought and ignored Jane and her sisters. Jane grew up, started dating and got married… but it didn’t go well. Although [...]
Being “In Touch”
Benefits of being “in touch” with your feelings – know who you are – understand why you do what you do – understand people better – connect with people better – get along better at work – enjoy life more – more in love – more in touch – more power – more joy – [...]
Guilt vs. Shame
Guilt = you did a bad thing Shame = you are a bad person Both are other people’s judgments of you. Carrying these judgments in your heart can be incredibly painful, or outright debilitating. Remedy: GIVE THEM BACK to where they came “No, I am NOT bad. That is YOUR judgment, not mine. I refuse [...]
We DO Have Choices about our Feelings!
I believe that one of the biggest, and most influential changes I have seen people make is this… We CAN control our Feelings and Emotions! I believe that most people have a belief that their Feelings and Emotions are some squishy, ungraspable thing that we just learn to live with. They come and go as [...]
Our Emotional Toolbox
When stuff is broken or tweaked or loose, we try to fix it, right? Well, first we notice that it needs attention. Once it gets irritating enough, we decide we are gonna do something about it. We go to our Physical Toolbox for the right tool to put the irritant back in working condition, so [...]
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