ND in MD?

Q:  Matt and Paula, Wow, this sounds like a great weekend! What would it take, in terms of students and space to have you give a weekend workshop in Maryland? Blessings, Alison
A:  Not that much, really, Alison. Not that much, at all… [...]

WE MUST WAKE UP!!

There’s a Sense of Urgency missing from our message! The basis for the problems in our society today is that:
We as a People are Emotionally Clueless!

We talk about Feelings ’cause it makes us Feel better, but people are DYING, quite literally and figuratively, because they don’t know what we know…

EVERY Suicide is [...]

DEPRESSION, Illness or Symptom

 
Have you ever found yourself “trapped” in a job or school situation where the work really wasn’t that hard, but after two hours at work or school, you felt as if you had put in ten. By the end of the day, it seemed that it was all you could do to make it home, [...]

ANGER For Better or For Worse

 
There has been much debate, over the years, about whether anger is good or bad. All sorts of remedies have been offered by those who see anger as destructive.

Try counting to ten.
Think before you speak.
Nice girls don’t get angry; pretty is as pretty does.
Stay away from people who make you mad.
You don’t hate your sister; [...]

Emotional Intelligence Questions (part 2)

Who or what are you Angry at?
Who or what Hurt you the most?
Who or what are you most Afraid of?
What is keeping you from Releasing the pain?

Emotional Intelligence Questions

Do your emotions work for you, or against you?
Do you find yourself Repeating unhealthy behaviours, and don’t know why, or how to stop them?
Are issues from the past ruining your present day life?
Does your life feel out of control?

If you answered YES to any of these questions, you could use more Emotional Intelligence [...]

Are you Bored?

Shutting down feelings leads to boredom, irritability, grumpiness and depression.  Allowing ourselves to feel leads to passion, excitement, fun and love.
Let’s open our hearts to Feel, and Live!
“Anyone who is bored with life has probably forgotten his or her dreams.“

- David Schwartz

Take Control of your Life, Emotionally, in 3 Steps

Get a Clue:  Open your eyes, to the fact that our Feelings and Emotions VERY MUCH affect our life, and require attention, respect and management.
Get a Grip:  Learn about yourself, how you operate, how you’re wired, how you function best, how you function worst.
Get a Life:  Take control of your self, your behaviours, [...]

Who are your Role Models?

Sometimes our light goes out but is blown again into flame by an encounter with another human being.  Each of us owes the deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this inner light. 
- Albert Schweitzer

We can find role models anywhere –- friends, family, famous people, infamous people, movies, stories, our imagination – literally, ANY [...]

IQ + EQ = LOL !!

In schools, they teach us the 3 R’s: Reading, wRiting and aRithmetic. But that’s only teach HALF of what we need!
Our feelings, heart and soul (EQ) is at least as important as our brains, knowledge and logic (IQ). 
Everything we do, and everything we are, is based on our Feelings and Emotions.  [...]

Need Something Bigger to Believe In?

Dramatic increase in Americans declaring “No religion”
AP HARTFORD, CT – A new report finds that American adults who claim “no religious affiliation” increased from 14 million in 1990 to 34 million in 2008.
It says most of the religiously unaffiliated in the U.S. are not atheists, but "embrace philosophical and theological beliefs that reflect skepticism rather [...]

I’m Amazed … and Proud!

Hello Everyone, this is Cheryl Montgomery-Nolan posting from New Zealand. We just facilitated our version of "Class" this past weekend, and I am truly astounded by the courage I saw. It can be difficult to talk about, much less to actually feel the feelings that we want to ignore, can't it? But once again [...]

Stop and Smell the Roses

“We’re so engaged in doing things to achieve purposes of outer value that we forget that the inner value, the rapture that is associated with being alive, is what it’s all about.”
    – Joseph Campbell
"Learn to pause… or nothing worthwhile will catch up to you."
- Doug King

Attitude is Everything!

“Everything can be taken from a man or a woman but one thing: the last of human freedoms to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” 
- Viktor Frankl

Our attitude is one of those wonderful things in life that we have 100% control over!  We can always adjust/improve [...]

Playing the Victim

"People are only a victim the first time.  After that they are a volunteer!"

- Thomas Leonard (the late, great coach t)

Ouch, but true.  If we don’t know what’s going on inside of us, and around us, we can end up playing the victim a LOT!
—
Sign up for Cheryl’s daily Quotes-4-Life series… They’re wonderful reminders [...]

EQ Answers

These are some of the situations where EQ can help.

Are you feeling the Downs, but not the Ups? Are your feelings kinda Flat or Tamped down? Would you like to experience more Highs in your life?
Want to find out how Choose your Feelings better? [...]

love

what indeed is love? a warm and tender feeling in the pit of your stomach? a feeling of compassion for another?
all the above and much much more . from the rays of sunshine on your face to the breaching of a whale and the sound of a baby cooing and laughing .
it is what [...]

emotional intelligence test

Here’s a quick, 7-question quiz, to determine your basic level of EQ.
How well do you deal with your Feelings and Emotions? Rate yourself between 1 and 5 in each of the following seven areas. 1: not at all          3: so-so         5: totally and completely
1. Awareness [...]

Great Quotes

“BITTERNESS is like cancer. It eats upon the host. But ANGER is like fire. It burns all clean.” – Maya Angelou
 

“Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we’re here we might as well [...]

Happiness Quotes

"Don't put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket, keep it
in your own."  
—
"Happiness isn't about waiting for the storm to pass…   It's about learning
how to dance in the rain" 

We Are The World

Here’s one of the greatest songs ever recorded! 

I just found this link on Twitter yesterday, but I’ve now listened to it about 10x, REALLY LOUD… and it still gives me chills (with all those amazing artists, it’s Cyndy Lauper’s climax that always gets me!).
I saved it as a Favorite, for an instant pick-me-up and [...]

It’s about us!

To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.”
- Robert Muller

Forgiveness is for US, not so much for the person we’re forgiving! Love is for US, not as much for the person we’re loving! Giving is for [...]

Feel It to Heal It.

We’ve found ways to safely & profoundly Feel & Release big negative feelings, both past and present, to bring Relief (often permanently).
These concepts were first developed by Alfred Adler, Sigmund Freud’s partner.  Adler found babies are born "clean" – happy, powerful, totally in touch with emotions – but pain builds as we grow and [...]

Blogging, the Blog Squad Way

I went to a presentation this morning at the Mendocino Coast Writer’s Conference where Denise Wakeman described how to effectively manage Social Media.
“If you can’t be found online, you don’t exist.”

Main Points:

Make the Blog the main focal point of our “platform”.
Use Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn as tools to drive traffic to the blog.
Be “Consistent and [...]

How to ‘Process’ out Negative Feelings

Step 1.  Awareness
Step 2.  Acceptance
Step 3.  Feel and Release
Step 4. Refresh and Rejoice!
"We gotta Feel it to Heal it!"
To ‘really’ get into your Feelings, ask yourself these 3 questions (slowly).
1.  Who or what are Hurt you the most? 2.  Who or what are you most Afraid of? 3.  Who or [...]

EQ is the Bomb!!

If we wanna be Happy, we HAVE to get in touch with our feelings and emotions!  (no matter how uncomfortable it can be at times.)
If we wanna be Successful, we HAVE to get in touch with our feelings and emotions!  (or we can’t be Real, even with ourselves.)
If we wanna be Powerful, we [...]

Happy Birthday to the Late Great "coach t”

"I decided that my work (as a coach and writer) was something that I wanted to do for the rest of my life. And enjoying my 3 best friends. Having a dog, (currently a Maltese named Fringe). Being a nice person forever, no matter what someone says or does. Constantly experimenting with new ideas and [...]

Self-Acceptance

I must learn to love the fool in me.  The one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes & loses often, lacks self-control, loves & hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises & breaks promises, laughs and cries.  It alone protects me against that utterly self-controlled, masterful tyrant whom I [...]

Emotional Awareness Gives Us Choices!

"I am not what happened to me. I am what I choose to become." – Carl Jung

We all have had bad stuff happen to us, and events that cause us emotional pain and anger.  HOWEVER, we get to CHOOSE what [...]

It’s Up to You

To the question of your life, you are the only answer. To the problems of your life, you are the only solution.

Nobody can fix you but you.
Nobody can make you happy but you.
Nobody can even help you but you.
It’s up to you.
What if everything that happened to you, [...]

2 Kinds of Guilt: Punishing vs. Productive

Guilt can be Good or Bad.
There are Two (2) Kinds of Guilt:
1. Punishing Guilt — when you're Trashing yourself and beating yourself up for something you did, or didn't do.
2. Productive Guilt – when you are Learning your lesson, taking the consequences of your actions boldly and maturely, and vowing inside yourself to Learn [...]

Dr. Phil’s Neighborhood

@DrPhil “We live right down the street from MJ’s house. Big crowds very somber. Cops all over. Family must be in such shock and pain.”
We owe Dr. Phil as he single-handedly brought therapy and emotional intelligence to the masses!

WHAT ARE YOUR 3 MAIN POINTS?

Last week, I asked our ND grads:
“If you had a chance to teach the world only 3 of the most vital concepts about emotional intelligence, the 3 most important things you’ve learned/realized, what would they be?”
Valerie 1.  "The past is not dead, it's not even the past." – William Faulkner 2.  "Your are not responsible [...]

Positive Emotions

When Needs and Desires are Fulfilled, One Tends to Feel:  from http://SuccessWithDepression.com/positive-emotions/
Absorbed Encouraged Jubilant
Adventurous Energetic Longing
Affectionate Engrossed Loving
Alert Enlivened Mellow
Alive Enthusiastic Merry
Amazed Exalted Mirthful
Amused [...]

We Have More Control Than We Think

"Nothing is good or bad but by comparison."
- Thomas Fuller

We have 100% CONTROL over our Judgments, Attitudes and Belief Systems.  Therefore, it is 100% our RESPONSIBILITY to manage these areas of our lives.

Living In “Learning Mode”

The Talmud says that the wisest among people are the ones who learn from all.
There are spiritual and emotional lessons to be learned from everything and everybody.  An open heart and an open mind can collect great experiences and wonderful knowings.

Lord’s Prayer

Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. Lead [...]

Who Makes You Happy?

Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.
    – Marcel Proust

Twitters Away!

Ok, sorry, I haven't been posting because I've been Twitterin' and Tweetin'.  It's fun.
follow me.  #MattPerelstein
(wow, that's a cool statement, "follow me", for that means I have somewhere to take you…  And that I do… follow me… into the depths inside us.  our feelings, our heart, our passions and our soul.)

2GetHelp Lives!

We just changed the name of our non-profit to 2GetHelp, Inc.  Our purpose is to show the world the wonder and joy of mental health and emotional intelligence education.
Our IRS application for a 501(c)(3) non-profit status is complete and we hope to have that in place very soon.
I am very excited about moving forward with [...]

Types of Emotion

Emotion, without content, or resolution = DRAMA
Emotion, in order to release, and heal = VENTING
Emotion, for the purpose of hurting others, getting them to ‘like’ you or for emotional blackmail = MANIPULATION
Emotion, for the purpose of making things happen and changing the world = PASSION
Emotion, for the purpose of loving, giving, understanding and healing = [...]

I Wish You Happiness

My wish for you is that you succeed beyond your wildest imagination. And that you find love in places that astound you.   That you have friends who call you "just because." 
I dream that you go barefoot more than you wear shoes. That you play as hard as you work.  [...]

Conquering Fear

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you’ve imagined!”
    – Thoreau

 
“The best way out is always through.”
    – Robert Frost

"Action conquers fear."
    – Peter Nivio Zarlenga

Choosing to Care

We are different because we Choose to Care.
We open our hearts to others… why? because it’s fun, it increases the LOVE in our lives, and because we know that the People in our lives are pretty much THE most important thing to us.

So we open ourselves to love…
we open our hearts to care…
we listen, we [...]

Notice What you Feel. Not how, but WHAT, specifically.

Awareness that we Feel
What are you feeling right now?  happy, sad, calm, afraid, angry, worried, depressed?
(stop reading for a sec, close your eyes and feel.  just Notice what your body is feeling right now…. go)
Were you able to notice some things about how you feel?  Were you able to Identify which your feelings and name [...]

It’s not just how Smart you are, anymore.

“Since Daniel Goleman published his landmark book " IQ for predicting success" Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ" in 1995, the focus in psychology has shifted away from measuring IQ alone to evaluating what is known as Emotional Quotient, or EQ. 
While emotional intelligence cannot be measured as good, bad, right or [...]

Powerful vs. Powerless

We are absolutely powerless to change others.
But we are absolutely powerful to change ourselves.
- M.K. Doc Downing, Ph.D, LMFT

Love is a Decision

Yesterday we talked about Love or Fear, Take your Pick.  Well, it turns out that there are whole schools of personal growth who believe that there are ONLY 2 emotions:  Love and Fear.
One of the books that helped change my life was Gerald Jampolsky’s "LOVE IS LETTING GO OF FEAR".  This book described in a [...]

Love or Fear – take your pick

There are 2 basic ways to live your life…
FEAR-Based:  Afraid of what MIGHT happen, and what other people MIGHT think of you.
- or -
LOVE-Based: Full of life, with people around you, and oodles of love for yourself and others.
You are TOTALLY in control of which way you choose to live.
Are you gonna live your [...]

Where is your Focus?

Here’s a new one…
Guilt is about the Past. Shame is about the Present. Fear is about the Future.
* We might feel Guilty about something we DID, or DIDn’t do, in the past. * We might feel Shame about who [...]

I’m not showing off, here

I’ve been out there in the Feeling trenches for over 20 years now — digging through anguish, pain, rage, sorrow, grief, guilt and shame.
The good news is that we do it in a way that encourages the positive and manages the negative, where I am doing my part to help people feel better about themselves [...]

when my body needs to scream… I let it.

we have found some amazingly simple, practical, common-sencicle ways of being happy… it’s called Dealing with your Feelings.  directly and maturely.
that’s it, bottom line.
it’s not much more complicated than that.

when our body needs to go to the bathroom, we don’t fight it.
when our body wants to rest, we let it (well, most do).
when our body [...]

Speaking of Maslow…

… and speaking of Maslow, let’s take a look at his:
Maslow’s Hierarchy of Human Needs. 1.  Food, Water & Air 2.  Personal Safety, Shelter & Security 3.  Belonging & Emotional Safety 4.  [...]

Self-Actualization

I believe I have met people who are truly Self-Actualization, in maslow’s context.  in fact, i believe i am one.

it’s about being as happy as you can possibly be, given your circumstances.
it’s about feeling fully expressed and fully present, pretty much all the time.
it’s about knowing ourselves, accepting ourselves, and enjoying ourselves, to the fullest.
it’s [...]

i love who I am now

i love who I am now (didn’t used to).     I love who I have become.     no, I’m not perfect, far from it.     but even better than perfect, I am Accepting of me.     If i do good, i praise me.  if [...]

$3.3M Club

I am planning to amass $3.3 Million, and I will not stop until I do.
I believe that will be enough money to handle all my family’s needs now and in the future. 
I will not stop there, but the rest I will give away.
I just officially started a $3.3M Club for all of us who [...]

If you had a non-profit, without budgetary limitations, what would you have it do?

we will be applying for a 501c3 within the next month.
help me word it correctly.
help me dream it correctly.

if YOU had a non-profit, without any budgetary limitations, what would you have it do?
I don’t want to focus on just 1 county or city, I want this to be National. All americans [...]

EQ can work at work!

"Now in order that people may be happy in their work, these three things are needed:
1. They must be fit for it. 2. They must not do too much of it. 3. They must have a sense of success in it — not a [...]

Awareness, however, is NOT the last Key to change !!

Ok, now that we know, we have the responsibility to Do.
those who know, lead those who do not. those who can, lead. leaders lead and leaders follow other leaders.
…and we teach each others to be leaders.
that is the point here. 
it’s all about us, and it’s not, at the same [...]

EQ is the bomb

Emotional intelligence (EQ), can matter as much as IQ in determining a person’s well-being and effectiveness in life.
- Dr. Claude Steiner

"Emotional Literacy; Intelligence with a Heart" (free online book)

I used to say that EQ > IQ, but now I say:
IQ + EQ = Happiness and Success in [...]

Anger Management

Managing Anger by Seeing the Unseen Cause by Mike C. Powers http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Managing_Anger_by_Seeing_the_Unseen_Cause.html
Read this really good article about what’s “beneath” our anger… what drives it… what underlying intentions we may have that can “fuel” our anger.
here’s another on:
Managing Anger by Understanding the Different Ways People Express Anger
http://www.selfmadeeasy.com/managing_anger.cfm
see also:
Anger [...]

Why bother?

I am writing this because it’s fun for me. I am writing this because it needs to be said.   I am writing this because I have a ton of Love inside me, that wants to come out… so it’s spewn everywhere.    [...]

I’m an EQ junkie, here’s why…

can we change our IQ?     maybe a touch.
can we change our physical health?     sometimes.
can we improve our Emotional health and well-being?     Heck Yeah !!
can we get better Results, and feel more Successful in life? [...]

Giving = Love !!

"It’s not how much we give but how much love we put into giving."
    – Mother Teresa
Yes!  The Giving is really for Us, not as much Them.     it’s about US enjoying it, letting it fill us up,
to Believe, to Care, to open up, to connect.

Giving = Love !!
 
and [...]

Using Anger Wisely

i can let some anger in, as long as I manage it.     I have to ensure that it doesn’t control my life, and it doesn’t get to take over my life.   but there does need to be a sense of it.  the knowledge and acceptance of it.     and [...]

US -– us, Us, US, USA !!

us – closer to an “I”, but with an us-attitude.   It’s about knowing ourselves, understanding our strengths and weaknesses, being clear on how and where we fit into the world, and how we can, and do, affect others. 
Keywords:  Consciously Competent.  Awake and Aware.  Personally Responsible.  eyes-wide-open.  Team-player.  good guy.  dude.
 
 Us – 2 [...]

Know what I want?

Do you know what I want? 
I want you to listen to me.
I want you to follow my lead.
I want you to buy into the concept enough to promote it to others.
OUR Feelings ARE THE KEY to intelligent, aware, and moderated behaviours.

Those of us who know, become responsible for the rest.
some things aren’t fair, but [...]

We Continuously Learn, Learn, Learn!

We are constantly in, what we call, “Learning Mode”, where we are open to new ideas, concepts and experiences.
“Education is our passport to the future, for tomorrow belongs to the people who prepare for it today."
    – Malcolm X
“Our progress as a nation can be no swifter than our progress in education."
    [...]

Emotional Intelligence for all!

I just learned that over 80% of all prisoners in CA were once foster kids.  80%, damn !! … and I believe that some 50-70% of all crimes could be considered to be Emotion-based (drugs, violence, theft, etc.).
Let’s:     Educate prisoners     Educate foster kids [...]

Love with your whole heart!

It’s better to love and feel ALL the emotions rather than not love for fear of the loss.
- NS

You can’t really feel the highs, if you can’t or won’t feel the lows. You’re living only half an existence.
        – Cheryl Montgomery-Nolan
Fall seven times; stand up eight.
- unknown

Advanced Relationship Training

Ok, so this weekend, we’re teaching the 5th in our year-long, 6-weekend series on Advanced Relationship Trainings (ART class).
The subjects are:

Leadership (quiz)
What Story are you Living? 
Personal Commitment

Among other things, we’ll all be doing a 15-minute presentation, to be encouraged and critiqued by the group.  We’re striving to become the most amazing people we can, [...]

Happiness is up to Me

Giving is all about me.
Loving is all about me.
Being nice is all about me.
Being a good guy is all about me.
it’s all all about me.
I do good things, and I’m nice to people, and I give, and I’m trying to change the world – why? – ‘cause it’s fun.  and it feels good.  and it [...]

Happiness is about Deciding

know why people have so much fun when they’re at a party or bar and/or drinkin’?     because they decide to. 
they make a group decision, and personal decisions, to HAVE FUN, so they do.     period.  yes, the alcohol plays a factor in it, but still, [...]

Happiness is about Facing ourselves

"I’ve finally come to understand that whatever happens, all those stumbling blocks, all these problems, have nothing to do with real happiness. Happiness is facing yourself and learning to love what you see, flaws and all. It’s taking enjoyment just from the process of being human."
      – Kelsey Grammar

I keep saying that [...]

Happiness is about Understanding Fears our own and others, too.

Sometimes,
understanding their fears

helps me
understand and accept their actions,

as well as their pain.

 
and Sometimes,
understanding their fears
helps me
to understand, and accept, and conquer, my own.

Emotional Intelligence is only a thought away.

"It takes six seconds to manage anger. It takes six seconds to create compassion. It takes six seconds to change the world."
Most of all, we want you to know that emotional intelligence is right there inside you — everyone has it, and everyone can learn [...]

What are you feeling?

Click the pic above to pick What are you feeling? graphic and make your own banner.
… at the largest Emotional Intelligence network on the planet…  Josh Freedman’s 6Seconds.org  – Matt
hint:  wanna bump your friends’ heads?  instead of greeting people with “Hi, how are you?”, ask “Hi, What are you feeling?”… people often pause, and think, [...]

It really is “All About Me” !!

Our generation has been criticized for having an "All About Me" attitude.
Well, I say we’re not Enuf "All About Me". or not in the right ways, at least.

All About Me means that I take responsibility for my actions, and my behaviours, and my thots.
All About Me shows that someone is home — [...]

New Blogger in Town!

Hello!  I am Cheryl Montgmery-Nolan.  My adopted spiritual brother Matt invited me to write a Guest Blog – so here I am.
I thought I'd talk about excitement, and how important it is in our lives.  Right now I'm extremely excited because I will be getting on a plane in 2 days and flying from New [...]

I Despise Judgmental People!

It takes no strength to be judgmental.    it takes no courage, either.it takes no class.    it takes no style.it takes no brains.    it takes no muscle.
the only positive purpose I can see for Judging, is to educate yourself — to know how you do NOT want to be / do / have.  It doesn’t make [...]

Our fears are not walls, only warnings!

“Your fears are not walls, but hurdles. Courage is not the absence of fear, but the conquering of it.”
    – Dan Millman
“Many of our fears are tissue-paper-thin, and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them.”
    – Brendan Francis

Processing Feelings

Here’s how they say to do therapy:
1. Listen attentively and nonjudgmentally2. Reassure about doubts and misgivings3. Restructure any associated negative thoughts4. Help to normalize reactions through acknowledgement and validation
but, imho, there are a few steps missing here, namely the FEELING part. here’s how we “process” our feelings:
1. We make it safe and keep it [...]

Asking for Help

Ever have trouble asking others to help you out?
“Asking for help doesn’t mean that we are weak or incompetent. It usually indicates an advanced level of honesty and intelligence.”
    – Anne Wilson Schaef
“The healthy, the strong individual, is the one who asks for help when he needs it. Whether he has an abscess on his [...]

Happy or Rich?

“Would you like to be happy, or rich?”
Happiness and monetary wealth seem to be polar opposites to a lot of people, particularly those of fundamentalist religious backgrounds who believe that you “cannot serve God and mammon both” or eastern philosophies that urge “detachment to material things”.
I’ve looked at both ideas from inside out and outside [...]

Empty Tanks / Full Tanks

Emotional stuff to get rid of… the tanks we want to be empty:    anger    resentment    protest    guilt    shame    powerlessness
Emotional stuff to bring to us (manufacture, create, allow)… the tanks we want to be Full!    joy    peace    security    peace    love    self-esteem    cool-nicity
… and the best part, is that whether our Tanks are empty or full, it’s [...]

Emotional Intelligence can be learned!

We have made some real breakthroughs in emotional intelligence training, and have found that this 1 skill, alone, can make a Hugely Profound impact on people’s lives.
Using simple, basic techniques we have successfully healed:

Depression
Out-of-control Anger, Sadness and Victim-nicity
Debilitating Fear
Life-trashing Guilt and Shame
Low, and even self-abusive, Self-esteem
Hopelessness, Powerlessness and Cluelessness
Relationships, Careers and Families

So, what’s in [...]

So, what are we “selling”?

I'm sorry… I seem to always come across too salesy.    like I'm "selling" ND and EQ…
I try to tone it down a bit, 'cause I don't like it when others push their product on me.  but the truth is that I really am selling…
However,I'm not selling me or us 2u… I'm selling You 2u!
I'm [...]

New Directions Workshop Dates, 2009

ND's

Feb. 22
Apr. 24
June 26
Aug. 21
Nov.
6

The most impactful emotional training you can get in just 1 weekend.

Happiness

Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude.
    – Denis Waitley
—
Stop living life for what’s around the corner and start enjoying the walk down the street. 
    – Grant L. Miller

Emotional Decision Time

“When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.”
    – Audre Lorde
Which is more important – our Fear or our Results? 
With emotional intelligence, we get to decide.

Ultimate Selfishness: The art of getting everything you want, and everyone wins!

Ultimate Selfishness (aka U.S. or us — both good concepts, ey?!?) is about how to make YOUR life look, and more importantly FEEL, as Great as you want it to.  It's about going inside yourself and finding what's truly Important, and Passionate, and Essential to you, and making that happen.  It's about understanding and Accepting [...]

Happy Christmas, Everyone!

Ever wonder how we say Happy Birthday, Happy Halloween, Happy St. Patrick’s Day, Happy Thanksgiving, Happy Valentine’s Day, Happy New Year, but we say “Merry Christmas”?  I have, but I have no idea why.  Do you?
In Europe, they say Happy Christmas, too.
Anyway, I like the word Happy, and that’s what I wish for you — [...]

Why some men are more aggressive than others

Article:Genes plus environment during childhood may help explain bad behavior
The study findings imply that even though a child may have a genetically related increased susceptibility for conduct problems, affectionate and loving parents can negate this increased susceptibility, Manuck said. “We can’t change our genes, but perhaps we can change our rearing environment.
Full Article:  http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/13596804/

NEW! Emotional Support Network

Hi.
Join us!
We just started a new and exciting online Emotional Support Network on ning.com. SueW has already posted hundreds of helpful resources, articles, quotes, etc. all about Emotional Intelligence, and people are gathering to talk, chat and share.
Join us!  It’s free and easy, and it could become one of the most powerful tools in your [...]

Improving Character

In attempts to improve your character, know what is in your power and what is beyond it.

- Francis Thompson

The greatest of faults, I should say, is to be conscious of none.
- Thomas Carlyle

“Since God chose you to be the holy people whom He loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, [...]

Thankfullness

A thankful heart is not only the greatest virtue, but the parent of all the other virtues.
    – Cicero
If the only prayer you said in your whole life was “thank you,” that would suffice.
    – Meister Eckhart
 
When you are grateful, fear disappears and abundance appears.
    – Anthony Robbins

Intimacy and Communication Skills

The 5 Steps to Intimacy as taught at our ND workshop.

Appreciate the Importance of Feelings
Know / Identify your Feelings
Accept your Feelings
Express your Feelings in Positive Ways
Help Others with their Feelings – Communication and Intimacy

Yes, it’s all about ME, but we can get kinda lonely without a WE.So, WE can learn to change and manage ME, [...]

EQ begets Success!

   From The Business Case for Emotional Intelligence
By: Cary Cherniss     http://www.eiconsortium.org/reports/business_case_for_ei.html
For 515 senior executives analyzed by the search firm Egon Zehnder International, those managers who were primarily strong in emotional intelligence were more likely to succeed than those who were strongest in either relevant previous experience or IQ. In other words, emotional intelligence was [...]

It’s in your Feelings!

want enlightenment and self-actualiation?  it's in your feelings.want to find the meaning of life?  it's in your feelings.want your relationships to work?  it's in your feelings.want peace, serenity and joy?  it's in your feelings.want success and financial abundance?  it's in your feelings.want self-esteem, self-awareness, self-acceptance, and self-mastery?  it's in your feelings.want to feel brave, powerful, [...]

Be Honest With Yourself!

"No man, for any considerable period, can wear one face to himself, and another to the multitude, without finally getting bewildered as to which may be true."

 - Nathaniel Hawthorne

"You cannot fake a relationship and feel right with yourself or anyone else. Changing yourself to fit what you think other people want doesn’t work. [...]

Inspired Living

Together, as Americans, let's create the emotional support network to teach the world that EQ > IQ. Will you help?

When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all your thoughts break their bonds; your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction, and you find yourself in a new, great and wonderful world. [...]

EQ > IQ !!

that's it!that's what I want to say to the world…

EQ > IQ !!

High IQ is cool.High EQ is better.
Feelings are more important than thoughts.Feelings are us.Feelings can and will have more effect on our life.We are our Feelings.
And we can actually Make ourselves Smarter about our feelings…… that will effect us every second and every [...]

Propaganda

T-shirts for us, not them.
I'd like to make "stuff" – T-shirts, cups, pens, etc – with some cool sayings we have.

EQ > IQ

Feelings are Good!
Guilt is Optional.
Anger is second. What do you really feel?
Don't Eat That, find something better.
It's OK to have Boundaries.
I am not a Control Freak.
FEAR is Ok. Keep Going… [...]

The terrorists are winning…

Our country is a mess.
People feel alone.
People feel afraid.
People feel powerless.
Suicide rates are up.
The economy is bad, and getting worse.
People are really hurting.
But, I believe we can do something about it.
In general, we Americans are fairly clueless about how to handle, and manage, our Feelings & Emotions, yet…
Emotional Intelligence is the #1 key to Happiness, [...]

Let’s build the safest, most effective Emotional Support Network ever created!

10 Premises to Changing the World
1. Emotional Intelligence is the key to happiness, sanity and success in life. (EQ > IQ)
2. We all have 100% control over our choices in what we feel, and how we view the world.
3. It’s more fun if we do this life thing Together.
4. True emotional support is about [...]

Feelings are a Good Thing!

“Character isn’t inherited. One builds it daily by the way one thinks and acts, thought by thought, action by action. If one lets fear or hate or anger take possession of the mind, they become self-forged chains.”
- Helen Douglas
“Too often we underestimate how quickly our feelings are going to change because we underestimate [...]

Giving is the key!

Aspire to inspire before you expire.

Believe in Yourself

“We cannot rise higher than our thought of ourselves.”
- Orison Swett Marden
“We do not believe in ourselves until someone reveals that deep inside us something is valuable, worth listening to, worthy of our trust, sacred to our touch. Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight or any experience [...]

Feelings are the Key!

Helping you understand how emotions have a direct and profound effect on how well you perform on the job and in life, this book presents great techniques to advance emotional self-awareness and tips on building self-esteem and confidence.
- By Jeff Feldman and Karl Mulle (Books24×7)
Put Emotional Intelligence to Work: Equip Yourself for Success

Waving Wednesday

The #1 easiest way to bring a smile to someone’s face, with the least effort from you, is to WAVE to them. Yes, just smile a bit and move your hand back and forth, and PRESTO! you could make someone’s day.
So, it’s Waving Wednesday.
Wave to someone you don’t know.
Everyone wins.

Caring for Ourselves, first

When we truly care for ourselves, it becomes possible to care far more profoundly about other people. The more alert and sensitive we are to our own needs, the more loving and generous we can be towards others.
- Eda LeShan
Anything good for you brings out the best in you and does not force you to [...]

Anger Management Skills That Work

Anger issues affect individuals from childhood to adulthood, and it is necessary to teach anger management skills that work for every age group.
One skill that tends to help people deal with negative emotions is acupressure….
Adopting positive anger management skills might involve keeping a journal….
Removing yourself from a threatening situation might eliminate the problem….
Adopting anger [...]

Get High on Happiness

‘Knowing Thyself’ Can Lead to Happiness
Powerful tools to a joyous life are being in touch with your inner self, God, and spirituality.
Imagine you bought a new car and after six months it starts to get very sluggish. You take it to the mechanic and he recommends a good wash and wax.
“What? Are you [...]

Understanding Emotions Improves Our Food Choices

Pictures Of Hot Fudge Sundaes Arouse Emotions!
Authors Blair Kidwell, David M. Hardesty, and Terry L. Childers (all University of Kentucky) examined the “emotional intelligence” of consumers, including obese people. They found that people who made the healthiest choices had high correlations between their emotional intelligence and confidence in their emotional intelligence—what the authors call “emotional [...]

Who uses Emotional Intelligence in Business?

The answer … we all do!
Our emotions help us to adapt and make sense of situations.
The evidence that an individual’s feelings affects others and that these feelings in turn affect performance highlights the importance of being aware of and managing our emotions. Leaders, salespeople, parents – anyone concerned with their influence on others.
Individuals Are [...]

CEOs Value EQ over IQ

“How bosses train to be the best”
Generally, CEOs assume there is a certain base level of IQ among all corporate leaders. Most therefore value emotional intelligence (EQ) over IQ as a way of discriminating between great leaders. However, with a few notable exceptions, CEOs do not have a deep understanding of emotional intelligence and have [...]

To love and Be loved

There is only one happiness in life: to love and be loved.
- George Sand

Emotions

“No other personal characteristic of the Self has such a clear line of connection to the Soul than emotions.”
“Anger is a legitimate feeling and emotional expression. We can use anger to help and heal or we can use anger to manipulate and destroy. Anger can distance us from others. Anger can connect us to others. [...]

Choices

Our lives are a sum total of the choices we have made.
- Wayne Dyer
This may be new information for some folks! But it’s true that we are where we are, and who we are, due to the choices we have made in the past. We may be pleased with some of [...]

Learn to be Aware

“You can live a lifetime and, at the end of it, know more about other people than you know about yourself.”
- Beryl Markham
Who am I? What’s important to me? What do I feel strongest about? To answer this, we must first learn to become more aware of ourselves and our feelings. [...]

Be Kind to Yourself

Perfectionism is self-abuse of the highest order.
Ann Wilson Schaef

2Get, Give!

2GiveHelp.com (proposed)
2Give, without Sacrifice
2Give, without Guilt
2Give, without Burden
you wanna REALLY enjoy your life… Give.
you wanna feel REALLY loved, and appreciated… Give.
you want to have TONS of friends, and people who know you and Like you… Give.
We can show you how…

Feelings are the Bomb!

I’m gonna make a Bold statement here…
are you ready…

Our Feelings & Emotions
are THE most important thing
in our Entire Lives!

“Feelings provide us with vital and potentially profitable information every minute of the day. This feedback from the heart, and not the head, is what ignites creative genius, keeps you honest with yourself, shapes trusting [...]

The 7 Steps to Healing our Feelings

How to Take Control of your Feelings and Emotions, One Step at a time.
By Matt Perelstein
July, 2008
Follow these 7 Simple (tho’ not Easy) steps to learn to “Deal with” your feelings & emotions, completely, effectively, and beautifully –
1 Awareness that we do Feel, a Lot: Get a Clue about the importance/depth of our feelings [...]

Do yourself a Favor!

“You cannot create experience. You must undergo it. “
- Albert Camus, 1913-1960, French Author and Philosopher
Wanna do yourself the biggest favor?
Want to give yourself the very best possible gift you can?
Get yourself to the New Directions workshop this weekend in Fresno, CA.
“Ordinarily, everything we do is in our self-interest. Everything.”
- Anthony [...]

Emotional Intelligence is the key!

Less Crazy, More Sane.
Less Different, More Same.
More Power. Less Blame.
More Joy, Less Pain.
- mcp

Emotional Intelligence can Help!

“We’re learning that emotional intelligence is an important ingredient in helping professional athletes live healthy and successful lives.”
“There is a massive correlation between high EQ skills and life success.”
- Gene Upshaw, Executive Director, National Football League NFL Players Association, Emotional Intelligence Helps NFL Players “Win at Life”
Improved EQ can help in sports, in business, in [...]

Know Thyself

The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.
- Carl Rogers
The greatest happiness is to know the source of our unhappiness.
- Dostoyevsky

You can heal your life

Awareness is the first step in healing or change.
- Louise Hay
What we think, and what we believe, is what will come true for us.
Our thoughts create our lives.
It’s that simple.
And when we get that,
we can make enormous changes.
- Louise Hay
“You can heal your life” DVD

Life Rules

Life only has 3 rules
Paradox
Life is a mystery, don’t waste time trying to figure it out
Humor
It is a strength beyond all measure.
Change
Know that nothing stays the same.
- Dan Millman, “Way of the Peaceful Warrior”

Extreme Emotional Makeover – Summer Intensive

Announcement:
We are sponsoring a powerful program this summer, to show the world how much learning and growth can happen in very short period of time!
If you are chosen, you will be given intensive therapy, life coaching, reading materials, 2 weekend workshops, emotional support, and more, to help you BLAST thru your emotional issues [...]

Happiness — it’s up to you!

“If you expect the best, you will be the best. Learn to use one of the most powerful laws in this world;
change your mental habits to belief instead of disbelief. Learn to expect, not to doubt. In so doing, you bring everything into the realm of possibility.”
- Dr. Norman Vincent Peale
“No pessimist ever [...]

Emotional Choices

Most of us have more choices, emotionally, than we ever thought possible!

“When we know that the cause of something is in ourselves, and that we (ourselves) are one of the few things in the universe that we have the right and ability to change, we begin to get a sense of the choices we really [...]

Confrontation: Everyone Hates it!

Want to get over your fear of confrontation? Learn how at Emotional Intelligence – Confronting What’s True
See also the Blog link on EQ At Work for lots of cool tools and articles re: EQ.
… and remember, and Dr. Phil says, “Attitude is Everything!”:
Victor Frankel, who faced death daily in a Nazi [...]

Laughter is good for your body!

No Joke: This Is Exercise
Laugh away ticker trouble.
from here.
University of Maryland Medical Center researchers showed 20 healthy adults two movie scenes–one from the comedy Kingpin, the other a battle scene from Saving Private Ryan–while monitoring artery function. After viewing the funny clip, the volunteers’ blood vessels dilated by 22%; they constricted by 35% after the [...]

PTSD: Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

extremely common in soldiers returning from war…
from http://www.thesoldiersproject.org
Signs of possible trouble (Service Member)
Irritability, jumpiness
Anger easily and “blow up” at loved ones or friends
Feeling hyper-alert, needing to be careful, on the watch for danger
Feeling emotionally flat, uninvolved with people, distant
Feeling you can’t relate to life around you or to the concerns [...]

Laughter Heals!

Your Brain on Laughter
How clowning around improves memory, mood, and motivation
By Thomas Crook, PhD, Prevention
“A good knee-slapper produces a chemical reaction that instantly elevates your mood, reduces pain and stress, and boosts immunity (suppressed by both stress and pain). A recent fMRI study by Allan L. Reiss, MD, and colleagues at Stanford University traced this [...]

Change Your Belief System

"All personal breakthroughs begin with a change in beliefs. So how do we change? The most effective way is to get your brain to associate massive pain to the old belief. You must feel deep in your gut that not only has this belief cost you pain in the past, but it’s costing you in [...]

Love is the Answer

“Remember, in our innermost being, we are all completely lovable because spirit is love. Beyond what anyone can make you think or feel about yourself, your unconditioned spirit stands, shining with a love nothing can tarnish.”
- Deepak Chopra
————————————————————-
“When mystics use the word love, they use it very carefully — in the deeply spiritual [...]

Attraction

“The secret of attraction is to love yourself. Attractive people judge neither themselves nor others. They are open to gestures of love. They think about love, and express their love in every action. They know that love is not a mere sentiment, but the ultimate truth at the heart of the universe.”
- Deepak Chopra [...]

Fear: How to Manage it!

When fears arise, use this quick acceptance process:
1. Acknowledge and really feel your fear without judging and criticizing yourself.
2. Ask what it’s there to tell you. Be alert for inner messages that will bring you greater understanding of the situation.
3. Be fully present. Are [...]

Find Something Positive!

“Make a game of finding something positive in every situation. Ninety-five percent of your emotions are determined by how you interpret events to yourself.”
- Brian Tracy

We’re doing it!

New office opens Thursday, May 1, as the 2GetHelp Wellness Center — Yeehaa!
MEW Foundation, Inc’s was officially declared as a Corporation by the state of California Secretary of State, and we have a federal tax ID number.
Doc Downing, PhD, LMFT, will be our first (and grandest) therapist!
We’re officially advertising for additional therapist(s) / coach(es) to [...]

Emotional Specialties

2GetHelp Wellness Center
Our new center will hereby specialize in the following:
- Depression: We have helped so many understand, fight, and win, against their depression, – going from hospital to happy – in only a year or two. This is for the girls, wives and moms of the world.
- Anger: Anger has a terrible reputation, and [...]

OMG!

Nearly 1 in 5 troops has mental problems after war service – Yahoo! News
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080418/ap_on_go_ca_st_pe/troops_mental_health
WASHINGTON – Roughly one in every five U.S. troops who have survived the bombs and other dangers of Iraq and Afghanistan now suffers from major depression or post-traumatic stress, an independent study said Thursday. It estimated the toll at 300,000 or more. [...]

A new Company is Born!

As of yesterday, our new company is here to help show and tell the world about the wonders and joys of Emotional Intelligence!!
MEW Foundation, Inc.’s
2GetHelp Wellness Center
2560 West Shaw Lane, Suite 105
Fresno, CA 93711-2777
(559) 431-9995 / (559) 431-9996 (fax)
We already have a therapist on staff in the office and we’ll be getting at least [...]

< Matt's Stuff

Choose a feeling. It returns a face and name. Just takes a sec. http://www.6seconds.org/feel/

- Matt

You Gotta Feel It, to Heal It(2)!

“Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts.”
- Albert Einstein

The Meaning of Life

Wanna find the Meaning to life?
Wanna know the Reason we are here?
Wanna find the Answers to life’s great questions?
Look inside your heart!
When we are totally in-touch with our inner-most feelings, when we truly get to Know ourselves to the deepest depths of our soul, when we find the still and the calm that exists within, [...]

Emotional Awareness

“Mindfulness means moment-to-moment, non-judgmental awareness. It is cultivated by refining our capacity to pay attention, intentionally, in the present moment, and then sustaining that attention over time as best we can. In the process, we become more in touch with our life as it is unfolding.”
- Myla & Jon Kabat-Zinn
a.k.a. Emotional Awareness

Self-Processing

I’m coining a new term,
“Self-Processing: The art and skill of Processing yourself and “resolving” your negative feelings.
Feeling Resolution is a process. a known, understood, step-by-step process that can be replicated, and measured (well, kinda).
Issues = Unresolved feelings and emotions.
- Resolving your own personal “life issues”,
- Cleaning out your emotional “system” – [...]

I don’t sing because I’m happy; I’M HAPPY because I sing.

“I don’t sing because I’m happy; I’m happy because I sing.”
- William James, 1842-1910, American Philosopher and Psychologist
—
“Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair.”
- Kahlil Gibran, 1883-1931, Lebanese Poet and Novelist

Feeling-based Medications

Top 20 Psychiatric Prescriptions for 2005
These are the top 20 psychiatric medications by number of U.S. prescriptions dispensed in 2005.
Medication Used for… U.S. Prescriptions
1. Xanax Anxiety 34,230,000
2. Zoloft Depression, anxiety 26,976,000
3. Lexapro Depression, anxiety 24,788,000
4. [...]

Let go of past pains!

“Even though you may want to move forward in your life, you may have one foot on the brakes. In order to be free, we must learn how to let go. Release the hurt. Release the fear. Refuse to entertain your old pain. The energy it takes to hang onto the past is holding [...]

Emotional Growth

instead of Personal Growth, what if we call it Emotional Growth?
it’s more descriptive and ties back in to our area of focus.
We’re all about Feelings and Emotions.
If you don’t like yours, if you think that Feelings are a bad thing… if you’re in denial about what’s happening inside you… you may want to leave here, [...]

About Emotional Intelligence

Various definitions:
“Emotional intelligence is the ability:
to perceive emotions;
to access and generate emotions so as to assist thought;
to understand emotions and emotional knowledge;
and to reflectively regulate emotions so as to promote emotional and intellectual growth.”
Another says there are four parts:
1. Perceive or sense emotions,
2. Use emotions to assist thought,
3. Understand emotions,
4. Manage emotions.
David [...]

Have a Child’s heart, and an Adult’s mind

“What a distressing contrast there is between the radiant intelligence of the child and the feeble mentality of the average adult.”
- Sigmund Freud
ouch… and oh sooo true! that’s why I like to hang around kids better!

I have a gripe… about Happiness.

I read a quote this morning…
“Happiness comes only when we push our brains and hearts to the farthest reaches of which we are capable.”
- Leo C. Rosten
sounds good, right?
well, I say, “BULL“. I don’t buy that.
I can choose to do nothing whatsoever, and still be totally Happy and at peace. [...]

It’s up to us, baby!

As your eyes open, you’ll see that your state of health, happiness, and every circumstance of your life has been, in large part, arranged by you — consciously or unconsciously.”
- Dan Millman
—
“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest [...]

The Ultimate Freedom!

“Our ultimate freedom is the right and power to decide how anybody or anything outside ourselves will affect us.”
- Stephen Covey
————————————————————-
“Freedom is what you do with what’s been done to you.”
- Jean-Paul Sartre
————————————————————-
“One cannot make a slave of a free person, for a free person is free even in a prison.” [...]

Attitude is Everything!

“Happiness is an attitude of mind, born of the simple determination to be happy under all outward circumstances.”
- J. Donald Walters
—
The last of the human freedoms is to choose one’s attitudes.
- Victor Frankl
—
Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character.
– Albert Einstein
—
“If a person gets his attitude toward money straight,
it will help straighten [...]

Love is about being open!

Love is about open arms. If you close your arms about love, you will find that you are left holding only yourself.
– Leo Buscaglia
Being wide open, at all times, ain’t easy, and frankly it ain’t all that smart, either. Learn how to be open, when the time is right, or even by default, [...]

I am happy.

I have a life. I make a life. every day.
I have a great job, the best I’ve ever had. I work part-time, telecommuting from home, it pays well, is challenging, important and resume-enhancing.
I run 4 businesses:
EucProducts
ND – my fave!
Computer Consulting
building 2GH
I have a 700+ post blog, and building another.
I have [...]

What is Happiness?

Happiness is an Attitude
Happiness is a Lifestyle Choice.
Happiness is a Way of Being.
Happiness is a Skill.
Happiness is an Art.
Happiness is Classy.
Happiness has Style, and Grace, and Beauty.
Happiness is Fun, and Silly, and Skippy, and having a Blast, pretty often.
Happiness is about Allowing and Releasing Negative Feelings, to get back to the Positive ones.
Happiness is about [...]

We Must Teach People How to Be with Us

Maxim for life: You get treated in life the way you teach people to treat you.
– Wayne Dyer, American Psychotherapist/Author/Lecturer
If you think badly of yourself, others will instinctively treat you badly, too. But, if you value yourself, your opinions, your heart and your mind, others will USUALLY treat you the same way.

Emotions are the next frontier!

“By starving emotions we become humorless, rigid and stereotyped; by repressing them we become literal, reformatory and holier-than-thou; encouraged, they perfume life; discouraged, they poison it.”
- Joseph Collins
————————————————————-
“Emotions are the next frontier to be understood and conquered. To manage our emotions is not to drug them or suppress them, but to understand them so that [...]

Emotional Intelligence = Taking Control of your Life!

The difference between great people and everyone else is that great people create their lives actively, while everyone else is created by their lives, passively waiting to see where life takes them next. The difference between the two is the difference between living fully and just existing.
- Michael E. Gerber
The key is a tricky balancing [...]

Get out of your own muck and help someone else!

“An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity.”
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Tired of your own pain and issues? Try reaching out to help someone else!
No matter how bad it is for you, there are [...]

Create Your World

True brilliance, Matt, is not a function of understanding one’s view of the world and finding order, logic, and spirituality in it. True brilliance is understanding that your view of order, logic, and spirituality is what created your world.
And therefore you are forever capable of changing everything.
The Universe

The Bucket List

The Bucket List, starring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman.
It is bittersweet because these guys are dying of cancer, but it is also comical as they go about fulfilling the items on their list of what they want to accomplish before they “kick the bucket.”
The biggest takeaway: Don’t wait, or waste, another minute! [...]

Love is a friendship caught on fire

“Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable.”
- Bruce Lee !
Love really is the answer. Whatever the question, Love should [...]

DECIDE to be Happy!

“Most people are about as happy as they make up their mind to be.”
- Abraham Lincoln
Decide, now, that you will do whatever it takes, change whatever you need to, face whatever you need to, to be Happy, finally, in this lifetime.
Emotional Intelligence is the key to happiness.

You Gotta Feel It, to Heal It!

“The key is to not resist or rebel against emotions or to try to get around them by devising all sorts of tricks; but to accept them directly, as they are.”
- Takahisa Kora
“Instead of resisting any emotion, the best way to dispel it is to enter it fully, embrace it and see through your resistance.”
- [...]

People are our Mirror

“The people we are in relationship with are always a mirror, reflecting our own beliefs, and simultaneously we are mirrors reflecting their beliefs. So relationship is one of the most powerful tools for growth… if we look honestly at our relationships we can see so much about how we have created them.”
- Shakti Gawain

2008 Priorities

“Getting in touch with our true selves must be our first priority!”
- Tom Hopkins
—
We know nothing until we know all the ways that we’re not who we should be. Only then do we have a chance at becoming the people we’ve wanted to be, and God intended us to be, from the day we were [...]

Emotional Criticism

“Never react emotionally to criticism. Analyze yourself to determine whether it is justified. If it is, correct yourself. Otherwise, go on about your business.”
- Norman Vincent Peale

Wanna be Heard?

Nobody cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.
– Theodore Roosevelt, 1858-1919, 26th President of the United States

It’s not the Content, it’s the Delivery!

My wife and I have an ongoing struggle about this…
You see, I get my feelings hurt, pretty easily. Because I “hear” the different inflexions in voice, energy and body language, because I believe I the “see” the rest of what is being said, I often get my feelings hurt, or get angry, at her [...]

Quotes from Famous People

“Truth is like the sun. You can shut it out for a time, but it ain’t goin’ away.”
- Elvis Presley
“I do not seek. I find.”
– Pablo Picasso
Wisdom is the supreme part of happiness.
– Sophocles
“The man who has no imagination has no wings.”
- Muhammad Ali

The ABC’s of Healthy Attitudes

void negative sources, people, places, things and habits.
Believe in yourself.
Consider things from every angle.
Don’t give up and don’t give in.
Enjoy life to the fullest!
Family and friends are hidden treasures; enjoy their company.
Give more than you are expected to.
Hang on to your dreams.
Ignore those who try to discourage you.
Just do it.
Keep trying no matter how hard [...]

Ten Ways To Do What You Love

1. Do what you love.
2. Provide a service to others who do what you love.
3. Teach others to do what you love.
4. Write about what you love.
5. Speak about what you love.
6. Create a product related to what [...]

Give yourself a Break!

“We have the need to be accepted and to be loved by others, but we cannot accept and love ourselves.
The more self-love we have, the less we will experience self-abuse. Self-abuse comes from self-rejection, and self-rejection comes from having an image of what it means to be perfect and never measuring up to [...]

I Like My Job

George Carlin sayz, “My job is to think up goofy shit, come back here, and report it to you!”
I say, “My job is feel emotional shit, and come back here, and report it to you!”

Awareness is the First Key to Change

“Insight occurs when, and to the degree that, one knows oneself.”
- Andrew Schneider
————————————————————-
“We are not what we know. We are what we are willing to learn.”
- Council on Ideas
————————————————————-
“The ultimate value of life depends upon awareness and the power of contemplation rather than upon mere survival.”
- Aristotle

Failure to Launch

Failure = inability to manage and control your own self, your own body, your own feelings
Failure = losing the battle with your inner demons
Failure = letting your fears and your stress take over your life and beat you down
Failure = allowing the unresolved feelings from your past to ruin your present, and your future
Failure = [...]

The Last Great Adventure on Earth – the Journey Inside Ourselves!

Of course, anger can always be justified.
But then, so can forgiveness.
Just depends on how much more you want from the adventure.

How Judging Yourself and Others Can Ruin Your Live

How Judging Yourself and Others Can Ruin Your Live
By
Bernadine Glori Celis
I made a big revelation this week. I became aware of how much my judgments were affecting the way I felt about others and myself. I have been in counseling and support groups for many years of my life. I am now 48 years old. [...]

Turn Barriers Into Bridges

Only the person who never gives up in life, who persists with his wish to find and fulfill the promise of himself, makes this truly self-liberating discovery: those places that he once mistook as being impassible barriers to his happiness become as bridges to the same, but only if he learns to welcome them as [...]

Know Yourself!

“Knowing others is wisdom; knowing the self is enlightenment.”
- Tao Te Ching
“What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself”
- Abraham H. Maslow

Know God

The idea of God is different in every person. The joy of my recovery was to find God within me.
- Angela L. Wozniak
Tho’ we don’t preach, or even teach, about God much, getting closer to yourself – finding your inner peace and removing your blocks to intimacy – allows you to Experience your God to [...]

Inspire Me

“I learned… that inspiration does not come like a bolt, nor is it kinetic, energetic, striving, but it comes to us slowly and quietly and all the time, though we must regularly and every day give it a little chance to start flowing, prime it with a little solitude and idleness.”
- Brenda Ueland
Not for me. [...]

The Season

“The truth is that for all the stress surrounding this season, it’s kind of exhilarating when you finally do find just the right present for someone we love, or our home-cooked meal gets oohs and aahs at the table, or we walk through our family’s front door as a grown-up who actually knows our own [...]

In Control

“The most self-destructive thought that any person can have is thinking that he or she is not in total control of his or her life.
- Roger Dawson
No one is in control of your happiness but you; therefore, you have the power to change anything about yourself or your life that you want to change. [...]

Thanks!

“What if you gave someone a gift, and they neglected to thank you for it–would you be likely to give them another?
Life is the same way. In order to attract more of the blessings that life has to offer, you must truly appreciate what you already have.”
- Ralph Marston
Give thanks for all [...]

Should I, or Should I not?

“Most people are so busy knocking themselves out trying to do everything they think they should do, they never get around to do what they want to do.”
- Kathleen Winsor
Bad Shoulds = those that stick in our heads, usually in someone else’s voice but that we don’t want to do… or don’t even [...]

You Are All You Need to Be!

“Everything you need you already have. You are complete right now, you are a whole, total person, not an apprentice person on the way to someplace else.”
- Wayne Dyer
“Who you really are is enough.”
- Oriah Mountain Dreamer
“Wherever you are is always the right place. There is never a need to fix anything, to hitch up [...]

Leo Buscaglia, A Tribute

Only when we give joyfully, without hesitation or thought of gain, can we truly know what love means.
– Leo Buscaglia, 1924-1998, American Author and Expert on Love and Human Relationships
This is a loving tribute to one of the greatest teachers of LOVE and living Life to the fullest. A Cheerleader for Life!
Leo B. [...]

EI101.com

Just so you’ll know (and it’s easier to refer your friends, hint, hint):
We’re now EI101.com
This site can now be reached using the address http://www.EI101.com. My intention is to write an emotional intelligence training course called EI101… and follow it with EI102, EI201, EI301 & EI401… all of which I recently registered.
stay tuned! [...]

Are you Teachable?

“The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn.”
- Alvin Toffler
Part of Emotional Intelligence is about learning about our past, how and what we learned from our parents and our childhood, and how all that still effects us today, both consciously [...]

Emotional Intelligence and the 3 Little Pigs

Here’s an interesting article about how Emotional Intelligence, and the study of engineering, can be likened to the story of the 3 little pigs. Very well done… read on.
http://www.e-ii.org/3b.asp
- Matt

Change Myself

We are absolutely powerless to change others,
but we are absolutely powerful to change ourselves.
- Doc Downing

Full Range of Emotions

“When you are able to contain both your light and dark together, that is a very enlightening state. It means that you no longer have to choose one experience over another. You do not have to choose love OR hate, blame OR forgiveness, sadness OR joy, anger OR openheartedness. You are no [...]

Beyond Beliefs

Are you ready to shift some of your core beliefs about who you are and how you fit into the world?
Emotional Intelligence is the answer.

Little You vs. Big You

What would the child you once were think of the person you are today?
Would your inner child like your outer adult?
list your answer in a comment, below.

Emotional Intelligence can Hurt!

Self-knowledge and self-improvement are very difficult for most people. It usually needs great courage and long struggle.
- Dr. Abraham Maslow
It’s true. Emotional growth can be damned uncomfortable! By definition, trying something new and pushing yourself to new heights is gonna be awkward, uneasy, even painful and unpleasant at times.
Get used to [...]

Be Honest with Yourself

Our relationship with ourselves is the most important relationship we need to maintain. The quality of that relationship will determine the quality of all our other relationships.

When we can tell ourselves how we feel, and accept our own feelings, we can be real with others.
When we can accept what we want and need, we will [...]

Don’t Give Up!

Often the difference between a successful person and a failure
is not one has better abilities or ideas,
but the courage that one has to bet on one’s ideas,
to take a calculated risk – and to act.
- Andre Malraux
I know quite certainly that I myself have no special talent;
curiosity,
obsession
& dogged [...]

Big People

“Really big people are, above everything else, courteous, considerate and generous –
not just to some people in some circumstances –
but to everyone all the time.”
- Thomas J. Watson, Sr.
Why? Because it FEELS GOOD to be courteous, considerate and generous!
Try it. It’s fun!

What Are Feelings For?

What is the purpose of our Feelings & Emotions?
(leave your answer in a comment below)

All Feelings are Good!

“What is needed, rather than running away or controlling or suppressing or any other resistance, is understanding fear; that means, watch it, learn about it, come directly into contact with it. We are to learn about fear, not how to escape from it.”
– Jiddu Krishnamurti

“All feelings are good!”

- Cal Banyan

Emotional Choices

“Freedom of choice is more to be treasured than any possession earth can give.”
- David O. McKay
Right on, David!
and Emotional Intelligence gives you MORE CHOICES on how you react and how you behave and how you SUCCEED!

“What man wants is simply independent choice, whatever that may cost and wherever it may lead.”
- Fyodor [...]

Tune In!

I love to think of nature as an unlimited broadcasting station,
through which God speaks to us every hour, if we only will tune in.
- George Washington Carver

Emotional Awareness

Awareness is the first key to all change!
“Relative to the level of awareness that is possible for us, our ordinary state of consciousness is as far from a direct experience of reality as sleep is from waking consciousness.”
– Don Richard Riso and Russ Hudson
“The thought ‘I exist’ is not the same thing as [...]

What is Happiness?

I liked this article and thought it was a very good way of explaining what Happiness is…
“I have found that happiness is not something we look for and not something that is “out there” or out of our reach. Rather, it is about being present with what IS. It is about being grateful for what [...]

Bring soul into the world

“We live in a culture that is greatly biased against the imagination, because our culture is very materialistic, objective and literal. Our culture lacks soul, and doesn’t know it, although it experiences the consequences. When you don’t know what’s missing, then of course you don’t know what to bring in, even though you feel something [...]

Emotional Safety

Creating Emotional Safety within an aware, loving group of people is one of the most amazing feelings one can possibly experience, and one of the very BEST ways to heal, quickly and effectively!
“A group of humans becomes healing and converting only after its members have learned to stop trying to heal and convert. Community is [...]

10 Steps to Unlocking “The Secret”

Here are some steps to take to get more Abundance into your life:
1. Clear Your Mind
2. Decide What You Want
3. Ask For It
4. Visualize Having It
5. Express and Feel Gratitude
6. Let Go of Control
7. Stay Positive
8. Be Patient
9. Invite It In
10. Share the Wealth
by Rhonda herself (I think).

Translating

I’ve found that the Language of Emotional Intelligence is different than regular English, spoken on the streets and in our homes and workplaces.
People say things like:
“I feel…”
“I believe…”
“How am I not being clear?”
“I hear you.”
“I’m listening.”
“How can I be clearer so you’ll understand better?”
and the language of the more Advanced EQ is about Translating what [...]

The Other Energy Crises, by Jon Gordon

The Other Energy Crises

Powerful article on how emotional intelligence (EQ) in the workplace, again, is more important than IQ!

“Today’s employees are under-engaged, overtired and overstressed.

The fact is that enhanced energy, success and performance cannot be found in a can of Red Bull or a cup of espresso. Instead of being energy drainers, American businesses must [...]

Be a Great Leader – Know yourself and your Peeps

All great leaders have one characteristic in common – they have a high degree of Emotional Intelligence.
- Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence, 1995

Emotional Success, the movie

Personal Success
- a young dude, maybe 17 or 18. hand on door, to step inside — himself!
- – show him reliving certain childhood events that were big for him, emotionally,
- – – watch him stuff his feelings, and deny them, and gloss over them
- – – – then watch his unresolved feelings transform [...]

You are not alone!

Our first and last love is – self-love.
- Bovee
It’s all about you! It’s all about love. It’s all about you, loving you.
If you cannot, or do not, love yourself, how can you ask someone else to do something you are unwilling to do?
Find love for yourself within yourself. Ask your Higher [...]

F.E.A.R.

Does my Fear control me, or do I control my Fear?
As always, I have some choices in how handle my Fear?
Do I:
Fight Everything And Run
&nbsp&nbsp or
Face Everything And Recover
I try to go towards my emotional Fears, not away from them. I will no longer be afraid of my own feelings. My fear is [...]

Super-Learning Mode

"Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can – there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did."
- Sarah Caldwell

Learning is fun.  Learning is free (usually).  Learning is life.  Learn-learn-learn!
My favorite clients/friends are in what I call "Super-Learning Mode".  It’s a state, often immediately following a [...]

Is it all just a fancy Sales pitch?

I believe some think I sound like I’m ‘hawking my wares’, trying to Sell people on these powerful emotional intelligence concepts… that’s ’cause I am! 
I don’t know how else to put it so that people will believe me to the point that they will go inside themselves to make the difficult, sometimes painful, changes [...]

I’m Scared.

I’m really scared.  I’m scared that people are hurting out there, and we have some keys to healing, but they don’t know that, and keep on hurting because of us.  Because of our inability to sum it up, and get the point across.  succinctly, powerfully and life-changingly.
We don’t even have much for sale.We’re not [...]

Make People Feel Important

"Pretend that every single person you meet has a sign around his or her neck that says, Make Me Feel Important. Not only will you succeed in sales, you will succeed in life."
- Mary Kay Ash

Pay Attention to your Emotions!

"Emotions are the next frontier to be understood and conquered. To manage our emotions is not to drug them or suppress them, but to understand them so that we can intelligently direct our emotional energies and intentions…. It’s time for human beings to grow up emotionally, to mature into emotionally managed and responsible citizens. No [...]

Processing your Feelings

"Spiritual progress is like detoxification. Things have to come up in order to be released. Once we have asked to be healed, then our unhealed places are forced to the surface." – Marianne Williamson
We call it "Processing your Feelings".  We find them, we acknowledge them, we allow them, we FEEL them, we release them [...]

Fear can ruin your life!

Fear defeats more people than any other one thing in the world.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

As I’ve said many times before, I believe that FEAR has ruined more lives, and more relationships, than anger has! Fear is sneeky. Fear is quiet. Fear is subtle. Anger is LOUD and obvious and usually obnoxious. You can easily tell [...]

Emotional Maturity

IMAGES OF MOMMY — an example of emotional maturity
 
4 YEARS OF AGEMy Mommy can do anything! 8 YEARS OF AGEMy Mom knows a lot! A whole lot! 12 YEARS OF AGEMy Mother doesn’t really know quite everything. 14 YEARS OF AGENaturally, Mother doesn’t know that either. 16 YEARS OF AGEMother? She’s hopelessly old-fashioned. 18 YEARS [...]

Happiness

"Happiness is an inside job."
– William Arthur Ward

Showing Feelings

"Never apologize for showing feelings. When you do so, you apologize for the truth."

– Benjamin Disraeli, 1804-1881, British Statesman and Literary Figure

"Be an all-out, not a hold-out."
- Norman Vincent Peale

You know how people are often trying to Hide their feelings from others?? Well, much of the time, I actually WANT people to know [...]

Feelings are the truth

If you don’t live in your feelings, you don’t live in the real world.  Feelings are the truth.  What you do with them will decide whether you live in honesty or by a lie.  Using defenses to try to manage feelings may distort your perception of the truth, but it does not alter the truth.  [...]

Fear and Passion

All men should strive to learn before they die what they are running from, and to, and why.
- James Thurber

I don’t get angry, I get even (a joke)

Here is a great definition of Passive-Aggressive Behavior. I think this is also a good example of: I don’t get angry, I get even.
CURTAIN RODS—- PRICELESS
She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.
On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.
On the third [...]

Kindness and Wisdom

Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt, kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate.
– Albert Schweitzer, 1875-1965, Alsatian Theologian/Musician/Medical Missionary

A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it.
– Albert Einstein, 1879-1955, German-born American Physicist

It doesn’t take any time or money to be kind.
- mcp

Change: It’s Worth The Risk

"Change. It has the power to uplift, to heal, to stimulate, surprise, open new doors, bring fresh experience and create excitement in life. Certainly it is worth the risk."
- Leo Buscaglia

“I can change. I can live out my imagination instead of my memory. I can tie myself to my limitless potential instead of my [...]

Find Peace Within You

“Practice silence and you will acquire silent knowledge. In this silent knowledge is a computing system that is far more precise and far more accurate and far more powerful than anything that is contained in the boundaries of rational thought.”
- Deepak Chopra

Emotional Results

Commit to yourself that you will persue a course of Emotional Intelligence and understanding.
Give it a few years (2-4) and I guarentee results.  massive, life-enhancing, incredible results.
Depending on how deep and ingrained your "issues" are, it may take as many as 5 or even 7 years. 
but so what? do you have something More [...]

Cool Quote, again

Manifesting dreams has never been easier, not once in all eternity, than it will be during the rest of your life.
Nor has it been easier for anyone who’s ever lived, than it now is for you.
- The Universe | www.Tut.com

2 Cool Quotes

The best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it.

– Harry S. Truman, 1884-1972, 33rd President of the United States

Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with No Loss of Enthusiasm.
–Winston Churchill, 1874-1965, English Politician/Author/Nobel Prize Winner

Feeling Safe

“Oh the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are — chaff and grain together — certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with the breath [...]

Books on Emotional Intelligence

(all text below was extracted from verbiage found on Amazon.com to describe these books. I ordered all 5.)
Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child by John Gottman
The authors identify a five-step "emotion coaching" process to help teach children how to recognize and address their feelings, which includes becoming aware of the child’s emotions; recognizing that dealing [...]

Say it in any language, just Say it!

Tell your friends.  Tell your family.  Tell your co-workers.  even tell your boss (if appropriate).  Imagine leaving this earth without having told all the people you love how you really feel!

English I Love You

Spanish Te Amo

French Je T’aime

German lch Liebe Dich

Japanese Ai Shite Imasu
Thai   Phom rak khun   Italian Ti amo

Chinese [...]