Shock and Confusion

Day 89 of 100:  Can we actually "choose" whether to we feel Shocked, or Confused?

The idea that "we can choose our feelings" isn’t exactly accurate. All feelings
come from perceptions, decisions, conclusions, expectations and beliefs that we
have garnered throughout our lifetime.

So, it’s not a matter of choosing whether
to feel shocked or confused, but to understand what thoughts proceed these
feelings; and then, once they are discovered, decide whether or not our beliefs
are what we WANT to continue to believe.

We then can choose to change them so
that we are no longer shocked or confused. If we decide NOT to give up the
beliefs that create shock and confusion, we need to accept that we will continue
to feel shocked and confused.  In my experience, as I observe others (and
myself!), I see people choosing to hold on to their beliefs and express their
shock and confusion. For example, when we observe people read the paper or
listen to the news, don’t we often hear them complaining, in shock and
confusion, how "messed up" this world is. Etc., etc., etc.

What perceptions create shock? Shock seems the same as "surprised" or
"disappointed". I’m surprised (or shocked) when something happens that I’m not
expecting. Is that the same for you? If so, then it seems that it is our set of
expectations that we need to examine to see if they are based on reality. If they are, I suggest that there would be no shock.  On the other hand, when people ACT out of line with reality, we are bound to be
shocked … IF we expect ALL people to act sanely ALL the time. (LOL!) Where I
work (a hospital for the criminally insane), I’m not often shocked at what I
see. Repulsed? Yes! Shocked? No. I’ve decided not to give up my beliefs about
what is repulsive. So, I am sometimes repulsed by what goes on there.

- by John Fisher, LCSW, fellow moderator at our super-loving, feelings-based online support group called 2GetHelp.  http://groups.msn.com/2GetHelp