Name your emotions, so you can tame them
Brain scans reveal why meditation works (LiveScience)http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/world/2007-07/03/content_908252.htm "If you name your emotions, you can tame them, according to new research that suggests why meditation works. Brain scans show that putting negative emotions into words calms the brain’s emotion center. That could explain meditation’s purported emotional benefits because people who meditate often label their negative emotions [...]
I’d like to Teach the world to Sing (but not in perfect harmony).
I want to teach the world the incredible power of basic Emotional Intelligence skills (EQ skills). Teach people to imagine.to visualize.to plan.to conjure.to ask for.to attract.to believe.to trust.to love. to be open. or not.to feel. or not. to allow.to create.to receive.to give.to play.to laugh.to sing.to dance.to scream.to cry. to emote. honestly, without drama.to make boundaries.to [...]
Showing Feelings
Pink Floyd, The Wall"The Trial" (barrister)Good morning worm, your honor.the crown will plainly show the prisoner who now stands before you,was caught red-handed showing feelings.showing feelings of an almost human nature. THIS WILL NOT DO. call the schoolmaster… (schoolmaster)I always said you’d come to no good in the end, your honor.if they would have had [...]
#1 Top Life Skills
#1 Most Powerful Interpersonal Communication Skill: Shut Up and Listen #1 Most Important Relationship in Life: Your relationship with Yourself #1 Best Thing you can do for you and your family’s Present and Future: Increase your Emotional Intelligence #1 Deepest, most life-trashing, relationship-blasting, sex-ruining, self-esteem-bashing, hopeless event we can experience: Being molested or violated as [...]
The 3 Parts of our Brains
(i thought this was fascinating… the brain has 3 parts, including an Emotional center. A good friend sent this to me so I’ll have to find out the source for you) “Who Are You? 101 Ways of Seeing Yourself” Author – Malcolm Godwin. Georgiades Ivanovitch Gurdjieff, the charismatic Armenian mystic & teacher, maintained that human [...]
Emotional Overload
Writers go through periods of writer’s block. I believe that people working on their emotions also go through emotional blocks – periods of emotional overload. My overblown responses to situations this last week told me that I needed to work on something but I could not put my finger on just what. So I bring [...]
< Matt's Stuff
hey, I just noticed that MANY of our 2GHers, and NDers, are Currently seeing a Therapist!so maybe we could talk to other therapists,or at least say, "hey, therapy too slow for you?""want to augment your therapy?""want to SPEED UP your therapy?""want to GO DEEPER, Faster?" come to ND. people who are Already doing the work. [...]
What if
What if our disorders are really all emotion-based.That would mean that we are totally in control of our disorders, wouldn’t it. What if, by changing our emotions, we could actually change our body.What if by healing our emotions, we could heal our body. and rid ourselves of dis-ease and dis-orders. what if…
Laughter Yoga
Check this out… Exercise your body and your Feelings at the same time! great idea. This is Laughter Yoga, a sidesplitting new fitness fad that’s part traditional yoga, part improv and all silliness. "”Most people think they have to feel good first in order to laugh. But you can start from nothing, you can even [...]
Self Worth
What other people think about me and the value they place on me has always been very important. It was the only way that I could accept that I was a valuable person. In order to make me invaluable, I never said no and spent all of my time learning and mastering new skills. Instead [...]
Emotional Intelligence – Defined
Below are the 5 aspects of Emotional Intelligence that need to be Mastered.
Shoulds can be Good or Bad
We’ve been saying that "Shoulds are bad". period. but I have another take on that… I say that there are good Shoulds and bad Shoulds. Good shoulds are shoulds that you agree with… I should brush my teeth. I should change my oil every 3,000 miles. I should get up and pick-up the baby. I [...]
Anger
Anger has been the most difficult emotion for me to accept. Mostly because I did not understand the difference between anger and the anger/fear combination of my experiences. Fear that my father’s anger and physical abuse would be directed at me. Fear of the anger and physical abuse directed at me by my mother. Fear [...]
Feeling IQ
Ok, here’s my new term for all the lessons we teach: Feeling IQ. As you may know about me, I have been trying for years to find the right words to NAME what it is that we do, the concepts we teach, the movement we believe in. You know how the internet is just a [...]
Emotional Intelligence: Why it can matter more than IQ
IQ = Intelligence Quotient score.Feeling IQ = Emotional Intelligence score.Emotional intelligence why it can matter more than IQ IQ is a measure of Intelligence, ability to learn, smarts. Your IQ is about your ability to think. Feeling IQ is a measure of how well you know YOURSELF, how you deal with your emotions, your environment [...]
Depression and Grief
This has been a week of bouncing between high highs and low lows. Today I reached a point where I have just had enough. I am tired of making decisions. I am tired of questioning my own motives. I am tired of interacting with people. I am tired of wearing the masks. I am tired [...]
Why do we Love?
Remember the Love.Do you know WHY you love? Why do we love? I ask people that question and they usually come up with a socially-acceptable response like "to help" or "to find a mate" or "to be loved." but I believe we love for 1 main reason: "IT FEELS GOOD!""It’s Fun!" – "It makes me [...]
Beliefs
This morning my daughter came to me looking very sad and scared. She had heard from her boyfriend that his mother had cancer and she wanted to know what I could tell her about the disease. I could tell by her comments and actions that she had accepted this diagnosis as a death sentence and [...]
Rescuing Myself
I went to the New Directions workshop this weekend as an assistant and had no conscious plans on anything I wanted to work on for myself. I think I knew that by assisting this weekend that I would gain something. And just like the first time through this workshop, I am surprised by what it [...]
Pandora’s Box
There are times that I just know that I need to write about. Coincidences don’t just happen, I am really believing that it is a message that I need to hear. Last week while driving home I was thinking about the changes I have been through in the last two years and how it reminded [...]
Letting Go
When my parents divorced, I was thirteen and my sister was eleven. My Dad was working overseas and was gone 9 months out of the year and then resettled in another state with his new wife when he returned. When Mom wasn’t locked away in her room, she was out with one boyfriend [...]
Tame the Beast Within
Get a Clue about your Feelings and how they affect you. Get a Grip on the reigns, so you’re makin’ the plans and runnin’ the show. Get a Life, build a Life, CREATE a LIFE that’s Joyous and Happy and FREE!! — Our Feelings & Emotions are our COMMAND CENTER. If we don’t know who’s [...]
Depression can be a Tool!
I don’t get depressed anymore. not ever. unless by my direction. I will sometimes Shut Down my feelings, on purpose, to rest, to rejuvenate, to come back Stronger and Clearer. … but I don’t ever get depressed, fer real. Use Depression as a Tool, not a Weakness. An Asset, not a Disease! Depression is a [...]
Write Your Own Rules
Dr. Wayne Dyer when accepting his Einstein award defined the Philosophy of Relativity to the audience by commenting on his baldness. Dr. Dyer is almost completely bald but stated that if you found the same amount of hair in a bowl of soup that it would be a lot of hair. [...]
The Secret is Out: Feelings are the Key to Happiness!
I just watched the movie: "The Secret". Incredibly powerful message there! In the movie, they make a strong point that:"Feelings are the Key to Happiness!" and I so totally AGREE! However, in order to manage our feelings, we first have to be "in touch" with our Feelings! Feelings can be mighty confusing at times. Need [...]
We have Choices! LOTS of Choices!
"By becoming a conscious choice-maker, you begin to generate actions that are evolutionary for you." – Deepak Chopra GOOD NEWS: You probably have way more Choices, emotionally, than you ever thought possible!! You can Choose to be Happy. You can Choose to NOT be a victim. You can Choose to let go of your [...]
Let Yourself Feel
"And though the tears fall, I am okay." a quote I read today on our online support group from a young lady who was remembering her Mom as she slipped away. … so short, so beautiful… and says so much… it’s about:Power.Allowing.Identification.Release.Hope.Sadness.Joy.Self-Esteem.Faith.Trust.Life. wow. it says it all.- Matt
Learning about your Feelings!
Hi Matt – I just wanted to say thanks for the information you have been sending me. I have been struggling through a "growth" period of life, and I have really been having a hard time sorting a lot of stuff out. Learning about my feelings and how to interpret them has really helped. I [...]
Feelings can be damned Uncomfortable
By definition, feelings get REPRESSED because they’re too damned Uncomfortable to get Expressed. Whatever the reason for repressing our feelings like: we’d ‘get in trouble’ for being angry or sad we’d be laughed at or humiliated for expressing ourselves we were specifically told NOT TO express ourselves we were guilted into it, or not shown [...]
Loving Fearlessly
"When we love fearlessly, we can experience our feelings in all their depth and passion without letting them control us. We can recognize that feelings are not facts, they are reactions to the world." – Coach Rhonda Britten, ‘Fearless Loving’http://www.fearlessliving.org/shop_online/merchandise/books/fearless_loving
Feel it!
"Sense. Understand. Adapt." – a new Adidas Commercial Same goes for our Feelings. Sense that a big feeling is forming inside your body. Understand what’s happenin’ inside you. Adapt to it. Learn from it. Express it. Relieve it. simple, yet incredibly effective!
Tired of being Scared & Shy all the time?
Fear can be so pervasive. Are you sick and tired of feeling scared, afraid or fearful every day? That can get sooo old! Worried about other people — what they think of you, what they might do to you, how they might react to you. It can totally ruin your life experience. I used to [...]
Selling Success vs. Happiness
It’s a tough sale, selling "feelings" and "happiness". It’s much easier to sell "Success", "Career Advancement", "Increased Sales" or "Business Advancement", as these all make people more money. Just being "happier" and "Feeling better" seem too mushy and intangible, I guess. I can show you example after example of how people who have gotten better [...]
How to Reduce Stress!
Did you know that most of our STRESS is due to either unresolved Fear or Anger? That’s great news, I think! That means that all we need to do is be able to handle our fears and our angers and we can live pretty Stress-free from here on. Fear is about the Future. We’re not [...]
Courage to BE
It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. – E. E. Cummings, 1894-1962, American Poet/Painter/Playwright It’s not easy dealing with your feelings. It’s not always fun, either. It takes courage, faith, hope and a strong belief that you’re doing the right thing. But it’s still gotta be done. Many people are [...]
Love is…
Here’s something I wrote yesterday for a dear friend’s wedding that I thought I’d share with you. We can’t go to wedding physically so she asked that I write something for them to read during the ceremony, so we could be there in spirit. Here goes… Love is … Life’s journey brings love into our [...]
Are you pissed off?!?
"Resentment comes from the repression of feelings, not the expression of feelings!" – Doc Downing, Ph.D, LMFT Express your anger and resentments! Get them out of your body — if not directly to the person that you’re angry at — then to another safe person who will listen and understand, without judgment. And, if you [...]
Deep Feeling, Deep Healing
Troubles with Intimacy? "What often keeps a person "intimacy-impaired" as an adult are the hurts and conclusions of childhood. True updating, beyond mere behavioral changes, requires regressing to the original feeling state." "Deep Feeling, Deep Healing"The Heart, Mind, and Soul of Getting Well– Andy Bernay-Roman book book review "How does stored pain (trauma) relate to [...]
Feelings are Life!
since I took my keyboard apart the other day and cleaned it, the . key hasn’t been working properly and this has been interesting for meto get it to work, I have to SLAM the . KEY harder….. whap, whap, whap.it builds tension.irritation.tick (doesn’t work) so Wham. (that works, but it’s irritating and requires more [...]
Feelings Toward Yourself
"It’s surprising how many persons go through life without ever recognizing that their feelings toward other people are largely determined by their feelings toward themselves, and if you’re not comfortable within yourself, you can’t be comfortable with others." – Sydney J. Harris "There is no freedom like seeing myself as I am and not losing [...]
Feel Better
Want to Feel better?- are you feeling down, or angry, or scared all the time? Want to Feel more?- do your feelings seem far away or self-contained in a little box? Want to actually get in-touch with your Feelings?- are you Clueless when it comes to managing your feelings and emotions? We can help. In [...]
How do you Feel?
How do you FEEL?Are you Happy and Joyous and Free??or are you Shut-down, Depressed, Guilt-ridden and ANGRY?!? Taking control of your Feelings is the key to personal Happiness and Success in your Career, Family and Relationships. Stop by. We’ll show you an amazing world that lies deep inside you — your Passions, your Joys, Your [...]
Thoughts on Forgiveness
Forgiveness is for you. You carry the pain, and the anger, and the resentment. You keep the grudge going. You are the one with the nasty thoughts. So forgiveness is for you. They may never know you forgave them (sadly, they may not even know you are angry at them). Forgiveness is about removing the [...]
Being “In Touch” with Feelings and Emotions
I believe that, because I am so in touch with my feelings and emotions, I am: Better looking Stronger A better racquetball player a better Father a better Husband a better friend more consistent more Jolly more relaxed more SPonTaNeoUS! way more FUN to be around. try it.
Shame-based People
Let’s talk about being "Shame-based". We’ve established that the difference between Guilt and Shame is that Guilt is about something you DID that was bad, while Shame is the belief that you ARE bad. So shame-based people believe they are bad people. They assume the worst. They assume life is dangerous and people are out [...]
Feelings Can Get Stuck
From PyschologyHelp.com: "Many therapists have elevated feelings almost to godlike status. They are extremely important. If you cannot feel, you are most definitely psychologically unhealthy. Also, the more you cannot feel, the unhealthier you are. There has been much essential therapy emphasis on learning to feel and to express emotions." but, they also warn (and [...]
PTSD
Great article / testimonial by Bob Parsons (owner of GoDaddy.com) about getting (Viet Nam), living with, identifying and healing PTSD. Blog posting:http://www.bobparsons.com/index.php?/archives/18-Go-Daddy-adopts-USMC-Rifle-Company.-PTSD-and-my-experience-with-it..html Here’s another link, from Bob’s article, citing a study showing the very high incidence of PTSD in soldiers in and after Iraq.http://abcnews.go.com/Nightline/story?id=331092&page=1 According to Doc, PTSD is about pictures and images and sounds [...]
Feeling Cocky
It seems that whenever I start to feel COCKY, I get slammed somehow. it’s very strange, but it’s happened a lot of times. – – – Personally proud, and responsible and powerful – – those are all fine. but if I get to feeling actually Cocky — where I think I’m really special in one [...]
Emotional Resources
Wow. Here’s a very elaborate site (actually 5 related sites!) devoted to describing, defining, explaining, listing, and recovering from so many forms of feelings and emotions. Called "Emotional Feelings". All written by 1 person — Kathleen. It starts: Welcome… i’m glad to see you! if you’ve been searching for answers about who you are & [...]
Steps to Feeling Happy
The 4 Steps to Creating Happiness — K.A.E.R. Know – Figure out what you’re actually feeling, put a name and a face to each of your Feelings. Be able to Identify them quickly and accurately. Accept – Allow your body to feel what it feels, know what it knows, learn what it needs to learn. [...]
Study on Emotions
Study tracks people’s daily emotions "It found that in general, people in the group woke up a little grumpy but soon entered a state of mild pleasure that increased by degrees through the day, punctuated by occasional bouts of anxiety, frustration and anger. Predictably, the researchers found that commuting to work, housework and facing a [...]
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCEIn Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman argues that the conventional view of human intelligence is far too narrow in that it does not take into account an aspect of our lives which plays an important role in the success or failure of just about everything we do. Goleman describes the five major components of emotional [...]
Add Spice to your Life!
Feelings add SPICE to your Life: – Color – Texture – Depth – Meaning – Value – Friendship – Love – Happiness – Joy – Compassion – Understanding – Awareness – Wisdom – More Joy! – More staying up late. – More running and skipping. – More laughter and Lightness!
Feeling Your Feelings
Guess what? – – Avoiding your Feelings, doesn’t work! – – – Denying your Feelings, doesn’t work! – – – – Drinking away your Feelings, doesn’t work! The only thing that REALLY WORKS, is FEELING YOUR FEELINGS!
From Bleeding to Healing
If you’re really Angry and hurt, you gotta get that OUT of your SYSTEM. Somehow. Trust me, it’s coming out anyway… but probably not in ways that work for you, or those around you. Like blasting your family or folks at work, or even your friends. Guys become a-holes, women become b_’s You’re unhappy. You’re [...]
Great info on Feelings
Here’s some great info on Feelings from Coping.org. Includes a long list of words to Describe what you are feeling. – remember, Identification is the first step toward Taking Control! – Matt
Feelings are God’s built-in alarm system
Feelings are God’s built-in alarm system for our thoughts. If you are feeling an emotion other than joy, our natural inheritance, check the thoughts you are having at that moment. Every thought, and I mean every one, that does not put you in a joyful state has as its underlying premise the belief that you [...]
Benefits to Feeling
know who you are understand why you do what you do understand people better connect with people better get along better at work enjoy life more more in love more in touch more power more joy more laughter more Freedom lighter feeling braver less controlled, and controlling less angry less depressed more alive less blaming [...]
The Down Side to Feelings
Feelings HURT so much, sometimes Anger is a bitch, sometimes Reality sucks, sometimes feel pain deeper personal responsibility is a real drag sometimes know exactly who you’re angry at, and why you might want to be around people even more there are some things you won’t want to know out of comfort zone more often [...]
Difference between Feelings & Emotions
What’s the Dif? Dictionary Def’s Feelings feel•ing (lots of def’s, but here are a few…) 1. The ability to express strong emotion, especially in performance • Play the piece again with more feeling. 2. Something felt emotionally • a perceived emotion 3. Ability to express emotion • the capacity to experience emotion etc. Emotion e•mo•tion 1. [...]
A Therapist’s Perspective
One of the great questions of all time is the question, “What is the proper way to integrate and deal with our feelings and emotions?” A christian therapist’s view. Read on…
Ok and not Ok
Feelings expressed for the following reasons are fine: – Clarity – Release – Acceptance – Remove Judgments – Go for deeper feelings (ex: express anger to get to the hurt underneath) not Ok – whining – blaming (short-term is fine, in an effort to find your part in it all) – one-up-manship / competition – [...]
I’m all about…
… education and awareness and good and love and joy and closeness and openness and having tools and having choices and being cool and calm and happy and dealing with feelings and learning about emotions and togetherness and partnering and helping each other and finding ways to be helpful and abundance and prosperity and all [...]
Being “In Touch”
Benefits of being “in touch” with your feelings – know who you are – understand why you do what you do – understand people better – connect with people better – get along better at work – enjoy life more – more in love – more in touch – more power – more joy – [...]
Our Emotional Toolbox
When stuff is broken or tweaked or loose, we try to fix it, right? Well, first we notice that it needs attention. Once it gets irritating enough, we decide we are gonna do something about it. We go to our Physical Toolbox for the right tool to put the irritant back in working condition, so [...]
Control your Feelings, Control your Life.
Control your Feelings, Control your Life! The key is to learn about your FEELINGS “If you know what you feel, you’ll know who you are!” – Doc Downing, PhD, MSW, LMFT We teach a intensive weekend workshop called New Directions… been teaching it now for over 17 years. 4 states, hundreds of classes, thousands of [...]
Disarming the Critical Voices
Disarming the Critical Voices Carrol says “Some questions to ponder, what’s the purpose I listen to the critical voice? What’s the role of reinforcing? And how do I reinforce my critical voice?” … I like the question: How do I reinforce my critical voice? should create great insights into who we are and what we’ve [...]
Those Critical Voices
Those Critical Voices Yes, those nasty little voices that get stuck in our heads … other people’s, family members, our judgments of ourselves. Some long past, some recent… some that nag at us, and won’t leave us alone. You know, stuff like “You can’t do that!” or “No Way!” or “Get away from me.” Sometimes [...]
Definitions
Life: Understand it, Own it, LOVE it! Feelings: Understand ‘em, Accept ‘em, Express ‘em appropriately Emotions: You take control of them, or they will take control of you New Directions: Know yourself, Understand people, Take control of your Life – Once a graduate, forever a friend.
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