Q:  Matt and Paula,
Wow, this sounds like a great weekend! What would it take, in terms of students and space to have you give a weekend workshop in Maryland?
Blessings,
Alison

A:  Not that much, really, Alison. Not that much, at all…
We were just discussing this the other day… how LITTLE we need to make these huge emotional life changes in people!

Space and such
We need a room that sits about 30, but not too big or the energy gets lost.
~1,000-1,200 sq. ft. empty room (ours is 33×33).

• We get kinda loud sometimes, so we’ve had the best luck in office buildings, where all the neighbors are gone on the weekends.
• We need chairs for these folks… but not too comfortable, ‘cause it’s not a sit-around-and-watch, kinda class. Big emotions and big feelings are best done standing up, in small groups, or laying in someone’s arms (imho).
• A few tables would be nice to stow personal stuff and to provide water and coffee.
• Some big pillows would be helpful. Removable coach pillows work fine.
• A whiteboard would be good. We’ll bring the binders and the books and the pencils.
• We’ll bring the music (for breaks and celebrations), if you could provide a stereo with a CD player, even a nice boom-box would do.
• We pin on a personalized wooden heart for people during their Breakthrough celebration in class (woohoo!), so we create those the day of. … and we give out printed diplomas, and a rose, at graduation.
• And we do a roster of all the class participants so they can stay connected with each other after class.  This can be done on a laptop, and we’ll need to be able to print and collate copies to be given at graduation.

That’s about all it takes… and even some of that is optional!  In reality, all we really need for a quality, life-changing experience is a group of semi-willing people to hang out with semi-comfortably for a few days, in a room where we can make some noise (without alerting law enforcement).

Students

It takes 10 students minimum to make a really good class, 25 max (although we had 29 in our last class, biggest ever, and it turned out Great – the energy was/is awesome and that class is tighter than most, afterwards!).

One challenge is that we do such amazing work in large part due to the energy, and role modeling, of our Assistants… graduates who come back to help others experience what they did, and to continue their own emotional healing work (some have been coming 15-20 years now). these guys have been to the very depths of their most intense feelings, and are willing and able to go there, quickly and easily, as needed, with and for students. (wait ‘til you meet these guys/gals). My point is, in order to have a super good class, I’d ask that we get 2-4 of our “pros” to come with, to help us make a quality experience. They don’t need to get paid, per se, but if could ‘cost’ them as little as possible, that would be optimal.

• Paula and I will be there for $4k for the weekend.
• We’d need airfare and hotel and eats.
• And as I said, I’d like the same for some Assistants.
• Total, I’m estimating that’d be about $6k, give or take…
• Therefore, at $399 each, we’d need 15 students to make it work.

Does that sound doable?
Who is your target audience?
Who are you? (just playin’, but really, tell me some about yourself and your ideas…)

Hope we can make this happen. We’re on a mission to spread the good word about how cool Emotional Intelligence can be… and I’ve never seen anyone teach it, and live it, the way we do! (plus, if you’re having a class in Maryland, perhaps I could invite some of my old high school friends from Virginia!)

- Matt

Feelings are God’s built-in alarm system for our thoughts. If you are feeling an emotion other than joy, our natural inheritance, check the thoughts you are having at that moment. Every thought, and I mean every one, that does not put you in a joyful state has as its underlying premise the belief that you are separate from God (this belief being the only mistake or “sin” we have ever made).

We are just like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, dreaming that our life is real, but truly still wrapped in the loving arms of God. Every feeling has a lesson built into it to remind us this truth if we take a moment to look for it. Feelings are God’s gift to us, and will guide us back to Him, back to our inheritance, back to joy.

- Sandra Adair

Benefits of being “in touch” with your feelings
- know who you are
- understand why you do what you do
- understand people better
- connect with people better
- get along better at work
- enjoy life more

- more in love
- more in touch
- more power
- more joy
- more laughter
- more Freedom
- lighter feeling
- braver

- less controlled, and controlling
- less angry
- less depressed
- more alive
- less blaming
- less Victim

- softer
- prouder
- stronger
- louder

- ok alone
- ok in a room full of people

- better motivated
- able to trust
- able to have more faith
- closer to God

- be there for others more and better
- make your own family
- feel better about your childhood
- learn your boundaries, and how to enforce them

down side
- feel pain deeper
- personal responsibility is a Drag sometimes
- know exactly who you’re angry at, and why
- want to be around people more
- there are some things you won’t want to know
- out of comfort zone more often
- often riskier
- you’ll probably get hurt more, and notice it more
- you’ll find that you want to be more honest with people
- small-talk is harder to swallow
- shallow relationships become less Ok
- we find that some of our friends and family are caustic and unhealthy for us
- … and we are compelled to do something about it

- feelings HURT so much, sometimes
- Anger is a bitch, sometimes
- Reality sucks, sometimes

- sometimes you’ll feel even more alone, knowing that YOU are in control of your life… just you.
“If it’s to be, it’s up to me.” – very true

MORE LESSONS TO LEARN
Apparently we have more lessons to learn…

All I can figure is that our lives have been painful and hard so far, and they will continue to be such until we HAVE learned what we are supposed to learn about the stuff we are SUPPOSED TO learn.

It’s as simple as that. If it’s not going the way we want, or it doesn’t feel the way we want it to feel, then we have more work to do. It’s called Personal Responsibility, and it’s the Key to a powerful, directed, responsible life.

The types of lessons, and the severity of the lesson may not be up to us… and the sooner we settle into the pain / lesson / growth part of it all, the easier the ride will be.

I guess…

We go looking for JOY, Love, and Happiness. We smile and laugh and hug and skip. And cry and grieve and scream sometimes.

We find Joy in everything we can. And for those things that are mean, negative or foul, we learn to shield ourselves, armed and protected… and go back to finding Joy.

Maybe that’s the best advice I can give, is to learn how to Close up.

Learn to open up… and learn to close up, too.
Not everyone is safe, and not all are loving.
There are the mean-spirited out there looking for people, victims, to hurt and teardown.
sorry.

So, if you are continually being lambasted, while wearing your heart on your sleeve, then it’s time to learn some protection techniques. Some of us are sensitive men & women, and we get our feelings hurt, a LOT. It’s easy to blame and whine, but the reality is that we have to grow up and learn to fend for ourselves.

NEW RESOLVE
I am not willing to give up my Joy of Living, for anyone, any more.

I will no longer allow a woman, or anyone else for that matter, have that much power of me, that their treatment of me, or opinion of me, or relationship with me, will be more important, or supercede, any JOYFUL relationship I have with Myself and My Life!

- Matt